Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(The Local)   Frustrated mayor says boo to stinky geese. Geese are all like, talk to the hand, fool. Mayor says I'll build bridges so foxes can come eat you on your islands. Geese are like, meh   (thelocal.de) divider line 47
    More: Asinine, Talk to the hand, Canada geese, Germans, heritage sites, Bundeswehr, London Hospital, mayors  
•       •       •

5375 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Jul 2013 at 10:58 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



47 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2013-07-23 09:52:24 AM  
Here's the solution.

farm4.staticflickr.com
 
2013-07-23 09:56:13 AM  
Goose caught sayof?
 
2013-07-23 10:27:53 AM  
ricky?
 
2013-07-23 11:01:24 AM  
[whatthehellamireading.jpg]
 
2013-07-23 11:01:47 AM  
media.avclub.com
 
2013-07-23 11:02:53 AM  
I was under the impression that hunting wasn't allowed on public land in Germany. It was like that when I lived there. Maybe the local government can give exceptions.

/too lazy to hunt through bayerisch hunting laws
 
2013-07-23 11:04:45 AM  
Where are they gonna put the gorillas?
 
2013-07-23 11:05:12 AM  
We have this same problem in Boston and the surrounding areas.

Farking Canada geese.
 
2013-07-23 11:06:18 AM  
So let me get this straight...the residents created a "bird paradise", and they're quite proud of it.  Then birds started showing up, and the residents just can't have that.  Farkin' birds...
 
2013-07-23 11:06:55 AM  
Call in the guys from Duck Dynasty.  They'll clear out your geese inside of a week.
 
2013-07-23 11:08:09 AM  
A frustrated German mayor has called in the hunters after a gaggle of Canada geese messing up his little lakeside town

Yeah, welcome to my nightmare buddy. Canada Geese everywhere here in the DC suburbs. I'm always stepping in their green sh*t. They walk right out in the road and won't move. Wipe them out....all of them.
 
2013-07-23 11:09:44 AM  
i.imgur.com

I got your "meh" right here.
 
2013-07-23 11:10:42 AM  
Geese don't have hands...
 
2013-07-23 11:13:30 AM  

Savage Belief: Geese don't have hands...


So they can't eat nachos.
 
2013-07-23 11:16:11 AM  
Rats.  Rats with wings.
 
2013-07-23 11:16:54 AM  
Don't know what kind of natural predators they're talking about but a couple foxes won't be going near those geese.

Geese can be troublesome.
 
2013-07-23 11:17:29 AM  
Problem: Goose poop.
Solution:  Border Collies
 
2013-07-23 11:17:43 AM  

Walker: Yeah, welcome to my nightmare buddy. Canada Geese everywhere here in the DC suburbs. I'm always stepping in their green sh*t. They walk right out in the road and won't move. Wipe them out....all of them.


Yeah, because FARK NATURE!  How dare it inconvenience you!
 
2013-07-23 11:17:54 AM  
Florida here. Our apartment complex is situated around a lake, so we get plenty of them. On the rare cool nights you can't keep the windows open since they'll be up at 4am honking.

I'm pretty sure it's not legal to hunt them from our balconies...  But it's tempting.

Fark geese.
 
2013-07-23 11:24:20 AM  

Sin_City_Superhero: So let me get this straight...the residents created a "bird paradise", and they're quite proud of it.  Then birds started showing up, and the residents just can't have that.  Farkin' birds...


Even bird watchers recognize that certain species are a nuisance, including imported species such as European Starlings, House Sparrows and non-migratory species such as Canadian, and even worse imported species that are also non-migratory, such as Mute Swans. These species can destroy habitat and/or displace native species.
 
2013-07-23 11:24:49 AM  
"Mayor says I'll build bridges so foxes can come eat you on your islands. Geese are like, meh"
i.ytimg.com
Ah, but can you not also build bridges out of STONE?
 
2013-07-23 11:25:40 AM  
There was a time when we fought wars over poop covered islands.
 
2013-07-23 11:27:00 AM  
Foxes can't swim?
 
2013-07-23 11:29:30 AM  

JeffreyScott: Sin_City_Superhero: So let me get this straight...the residents created a "bird paradise", and they're quite proud of it.  Then birds started showing up, and the residents just can't have that.  Farkin' birds...

Even bird watchers recognize that certain species are a nuisance, including imported species such as European Starlings, House Sparrows and non-migratory species such as Canadian, and even worse imported species that are also non-migratory, such as Mute Swans. These species can destroy habitat and/or displace native species.


Why would you want to get rid of them?
www.spicegag.com
http://www.spicegag.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/Canadian-Girls.jpg
 
2013-07-23 11:30:44 AM  
FTA:
"The animals recognize the hunters. If they come with a rifle, no matter how the hunter is dressed, the geese realize what they are after.
"It is completely different when they see me, the mayor. I was down at the lake recently and they simply went three metres out into the water and looked at me," said Ruß.
"As if they were saying, 'You with your Sunday clothes on, you're not going to come in after us.'"
 
2013-07-23 11:45:34 AM  

hitmanric: Don't know what kind of natural predators they're talking about but a couple foxes won't be going near those geese.

Geese can be troublesome.


Yeah,  foxes aren't that big,  even several foxes,  my money's on the gaggle.  My 20lb dog learned to leave geese alone after her first encounter.  There was a pair on a path we walk on,  she crouched down and started slinking up to them,  one turned around,  reared up,  spread it's wings and hissed at her,  she turned tail and ran to cower between my legs.

Now whenever we encounter geese she stays as far away as possible from them.
 
2013-07-23 11:55:27 AM  

fortheloveofgod: Walker: Yeah, welcome to my nightmare buddy. Canada Geese everywhere here in the DC suburbs. I'm always stepping in their green sh*t. They walk right out in the road and won't move. Wipe them out....all of them.

Yeah, because FARK NATURE!  How dare it inconvenience you!


It's not really nature. We've wiped out or displaced all the predators around them, so they're breeding without restraint. That's not "nature", that's an accidental feedlot.
 
2013-07-23 11:56:30 AM  

Cyno01: hitmanric: Don't know what kind of natural predators they're talking about but a couple foxes won't be going near those geese.

Geese can be troublesome.

Yeah,  foxes aren't that big,  even several foxes,  my money's on the gaggle.  My 20lb dog learned to leave geese alone after her first encounter.  There was a pair on a path we walk on,  she crouched down and started slinking up to them,  one turned around,  reared up,  spread it's wings and hissed at her,  she turned tail and ran to cower between my legs.

Now whenever we encounter geese she stays as far away as possible from them.


Dogs are not foxes. A fox will easily take down a goose if it wants to. So will dogs if they've got strong hunting instincts, which yours doesn't seem to ;)
 
2013-07-23 12:05:16 PM  

Pitabred: fortheloveofgod: Walker: Yeah, welcome to my nightmare buddy. Canada Geese everywhere here in the DC suburbs. I'm always stepping in their green sh*t. They walk right out in the road and won't move. Wipe them out....all of them.

Yeah, because FARK NATURE!  How dare it inconvenience you!

It's not really nature. We've wiped out or displaced all the predators around them, so they're breeding without restraint. That's not "nature", that's an accidental feedlot.


eggzactly.  On top of the poop everywhere, they aren't the happiest critters either.  I've seen 'em on college campus' destroying anything they walk on or swim in and turning it into a health hazard and acting all entitled about it.  I've read that in Scotland some distilleries use them instead of watchdogs.
We need to man up and be the replacement for their predators to keep their numbers down and their gene pool healthy.  To also allow other critters to exist as well.
Swans, now there's angry pestilence personified.
 
2013-07-23 12:06:51 PM  

Walker: A frustrated German mayor has called in the hunters after a gaggle of Canada geese messing up his little lakeside town

Yeah, welcome to my nightmare buddy. Canada Geese everywhere here in the DC suburbs. I'm always stepping in their green sh*t. They walk right out in the road and won't move. Wipe them out....all of them.


Yup - I live a few blocks from the Erie Canal, and I'm sure it sounds silly to folks who've never dealt with them en masse but the damn geese are a farkin' menace...they poop all over everything, hold up traffic while loitering in the streets, and they bite.
 
2013-07-23 12:20:34 PM  

I am Jack's user id: Problem: Goose poop.
Solution:  Border Collies


Came here to post this, but someone beat me to it.
 
2013-07-23 12:31:57 PM  

Loaf's Tray: Walker: A frustrated German mayor has called in the hunters after a gaggle of Canada geese messing up his little lakeside town

Yeah, welcome to my nightmare buddy. Canada Geese everywhere here in the DC suburbs. I'm always stepping in their green sh*t. They walk right out in the road and won't move. Wipe them out....all of them.

Yup - I live a few blocks from the Erie Canal, and I'm sure it sounds silly to folks who've never dealt with them en masse but the damn geese are a farkin' menace...they poop all over everything, hold up traffic while loitering in the streets, and they bite.


*ba thump thump*   "What was that?!"  *goose feathers all over the front grill*
 
2013-07-23 12:53:24 PM  
Goddamn Canada geese...all they do is shiat everywhere and get in the way.  They're assholes.
 
2013-07-23 01:03:46 PM  
Reminds me of an acquaintance of mine. He and his wife had a pool and were delighted when a duck decided to drop in and paddle around. Then, another duck joined the fun and they thought it was so cool. They scattered bread on the ground near the pool for them to eat.

After several days, they had several ducks and started to notice that ducks tend to shiat where they swim. They also shiat when they walked around the cement combing of the pool. They shiat when they walked up on the patio.

That equaled increased pool cleanings and increased pool supplies followed by increased patio scrubbing. That meant more money.

So they chased the ducks away, put up fake Big Owls to scare them and started letting their dog out when the feathered crap machines came in for a landing.

Wild birds are cool -- to an extent, but people tend to forget their toilet habits.

I used to have a small boat and liked to putt around the small islands in the local brackish lagoon -- but one I had to avoid. So did everyone else. Heavily wooded, it was the perfect place to camp -- but Pelicans and some other sea birds had taken it over as a nesting site and roost.

From a distance you could see the green tops of the trees were covered in white bird shiat. Land on the island and you found the ground covered in bird shiat. Not to mention it really smelled bad. Plus, rats just loved it all. Walk on the island under the trees and you had to wear rain gear or wide brimmed hats because the birds shiat on you.

Plus, a couple of species, when they got frightened as you walked 30 feet below their nests, tended to vomit their latest fish meal on you.

In the hot, rainy summers here, approaching the island down wind, even just to pass by it, usually got you a rank smelling breeze 50 yards out.

The island is a Preserve now, so you can't go and scare the shiatti' little bastiges away. However, the rats on the island which feast on the feces, vomited fish, and share the ground with the large land crabs, make sure to devour any flightless chick which tumbles from the nests above.

Plus, rats can climb.

Currently, the population is at a stalemate, with the adult birds polishing off any careless rats around the nests and the rats polishing off any clumsy or unguarded chicks -- while the land crabs below chow down on the remains that fall within reach.

Yeah. The birds are cool and all. Pretty to watch -- but from a distance when they gather in such huge flocks.
 
2013-07-23 01:46:28 PM  
did a very young kid write this headline?


/boo to crappy subby
 
2013-07-23 02:45:12 PM  
Sniper eh?   If they see you, you are doing it wrong....
 
2013-07-23 03:07:53 PM  
I'm Canadian and live in a big city with lots of Canada Geese (and ducks, swans and seagulls), so I'm getting a kick out of all this. I know they're annoying and messy, but I still love them, especially the goslings, they're sooooo cute! But if they get too out of hand, you can always cull them and feed them to your homeless population.
 
2013-07-23 03:43:52 PM  

Pitabred: fortheloveofgod: Walker: Yeah, welcome to my nightmare buddy. Canada Geese everywhere here in the DC suburbs. I'm always stepping in their green sh*t. They walk right out in the road and won't move. Wipe them out....all of them.

Yeah, because FARK NATURE!  How dare it inconvenience you!

It's not really nature. We've wiped out or displaced all the predators around them, so they're breeding without restraint. That's not "nature", that's an accidental feedlot.


Damn you with your fancy logic!
 
2013-07-23 04:09:02 PM  
I swear that the geese where I live go to council meetings and have lobbyists. They know they can't be hit an they walk at a maddeningly slow pace everywhere.

One time I got chased by a goose when I got to close to it's nest by a tree in the parking lot. I'm running, screaming and it's beating me with it's wings and pecking me. My coworkers are in the windows howling laughing.

I finally decided, I was bigger than the goose. I stopped, turned, stomped my foot. It stopped for a brief second surprised. I reached clear back to Alabama and slapped him right across his bill. He staggered back, shook it off and walked away.

My coworkers cheered. The goose never bothered me again.
 
2013-07-23 04:19:53 PM  
The city of Bend, Oregon came up with a clever idea.  They rounded up all the geese, killed them all and fed them to homeless people.  Everybody wins!
farm2.staticflickr.com
 
2013-07-23 04:32:30 PM  
i306.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-23 04:38:39 PM  
It's like watching a crazy cat lady the moment she realizes that her precious little babies don't love her, never loved her, and are in fact going to keep breeding and dying and eventually suffocate her under their poop and dead bodies, and there's nothing she can imagine doing to stop them.

/except it's a public official instead of a sociopathic old lady
//so we all get to watch the mental breakdown on the internet, maybe even see some funny laws made because of it
 
2013-07-23 04:46:57 PM  

Hermione_Granger: I swear that the geese where I live go to council meetings and have lobbyists. They know they can't be hit an they walk at a maddeningly slow pace everywhere.

One time I got chased by a goose when I got to close to it's nest by a tree in the parking lot. I'm running, screaming and it's beating me with it's wings and pecking me. My coworkers are in the windows howling laughing.

I finally decided, I was bigger than the goose. I stopped, turned, stomped my foot. It stopped for a brief second surprised. I reached clear back to Alabama and slapped him right across his bill. He staggered back, shook it off and walked away.

My coworkers cheered. The goose never bothered me again.


Aye. They can give you a good nip, but... you're a lot bigger than they are. If you decide to fight, there's not really any way they can win.
 
2013-07-23 08:49:39 PM  

vpb: Here's the solution.

[farm4.staticflickr.com image 500x332]


Your parents went away on a weeks vacation and they left the keys to the brand-new Porsche?

Oh, you said "here's the SOLUTION."   My bad.
 
2013-07-23 08:56:25 PM  

doglover: JeffreyScott: Sin_City_Superhero: So let me get this straight...the residents created a "bird paradise", and they're quite proud of it.  Then birds started showing up, and the residents just can't have that.  Farkin' birds...

Even bird watchers recognize that certain species are a nuisance, including imported species such as European Starlings, House Sparrows and non-migratory species such as Canadian, and even worse imported species that are also non-migratory, such as Mute Swans. These species can destroy habitat and/or displace native species.

Why would you want to get rid of them?
[www.spicegag.com image 600x716]
http://www.spicegag.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/Canadian-Girls.jpg


House sparrows?  Because they can't carry a coconut worth a damn.  They're too small.  It's a simple question of weight ratios.
 
2013-07-23 11:59:45 PM  
I know for a fact that geese don't like lasers.

/no geese here
 
2013-07-24 04:24:45 AM  

TV's Vinnie: [media.avclub.com image 627x352]


Came for that.
 
Displayed 47 of 47 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report