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(CF News 13)   Man dies after trying to mow river   (cfnews13.com) divider line 52
    More: Florida, home health care, lawn mowers  
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8078 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Jul 2013 at 11:34 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



52 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-07-23 09:44:16 AM
You need the right attachment for that.
 
2013-07-23 09:47:31 AM
One thing that I noticed about Florida:  What they call a river, we'd call a creek.
 
2013-07-23 09:49:24 AM
img801.imageshack.us
 
2013-07-23 09:50:05 AM
He'll spend the afterlife doing what he enjoyed in life:  mulching.
 
2013-07-23 09:54:00 AM
Maybe the algae was getting out of hand.
 
2013-07-23 09:55:25 AM
Mown....River....
i.imgur.com
 
2013-07-23 10:10:03 AM
This story just doesn't say Florida tag to me. I feel there needs to be something more, like maybe he was whacked out on hallucinogens or eaten by an alligator or possibly he had set up a ramp and was attempting to jump the river.
 
2013-07-23 10:14:10 AM
img.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-23 10:34:45 AM

Diogenes: He'll spend the afterlife doing what he enjoyed in life:   mulching. not mulch

 
2013-07-23 11:25:01 AM
"Why is the sky blue?"

"Because if it was green, we wouldn't know where to stop mowing."

/old joke from Night Court
//bet that river looked reeeeal green
 
2013-07-23 11:29:33 AM
Deceptive Flex Seal advertising claims another life.  When will it end!?
 
2013-07-23 11:36:18 AM
Merrily, merrily, merrily merrily. Life is but a dream.
 
2013-07-23 11:37:32 AM
That's a pretty cool mower. Is it for sale?
 
2013-07-23 11:38:00 AM

BREVARD COUNTY --

A Brevard County man is dead after he plunges into the Indian River while riding a lawnmower.


Great job, Mr. Editing Guy.
 
2013-07-23 11:38:01 AM
A friend of my uncle's died weed-eating around a pond from a boat. 
Dude couldn't swim a lick, but loved to boat & fish.
 
2013-07-23 11:38:17 AM

nekom: One thing that I noticed about Florida:  What they call a river, we'd call a creek.


Your creeks are three quarters of a mile wide?
 
2013-07-23 11:39:09 AM

brap


Merrily, merrily, merrily merrily. Life is but a dream.


It's too bad this didn't happen at a castle.

"Mow, mow, mow your moat..."
 
2013-07-23 11:39:24 AM
Dude probably had a heart attack on the mower and lost control.
 
2013-07-23 11:41:25 AM
That reminds me. Today is Tuesday, so I have to go mow the lake.
 
2013-07-23 11:41:50 AM
"Investigators think he had some type of medical issue. "

Not having gills is not really a medical issue in humans.
 
2013-07-23 11:42:33 AM
Just keeps on mowing aaaaloooooong....
 
2013-07-23 11:44:54 AM
Water looks one foot deep. Was he 6 inches tall?
 
2013-07-23 11:45:21 AM
Bloomberg's pee got him.
 
2013-07-23 11:45:25 AM
 
2013-07-23 11:52:19 AM

bionicjoe: A friend of my uncle's died weed-eating around a pond from a boat.
Dude couldn't swim a lick, but loved to boat & fish.


I'm guessing you're referring to weed-trimming rather than dunking his head underwater and chowing down?  Had the guy never heard of a life-vest?
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2013-07-23 11:54:53 AM
To be fair, it had a Tecumseh engine.  He just got confused.
 
2013-07-23 11:55:03 AM
You'd think he could have rolled down the window and got out. Was this Ted Kennedy's retired gardener or something?
 
2013-07-23 11:55:22 AM

katerbug72: Dude probably had a heart attack on the mower and lost control.


TFA and TFH have it backwards, he died and then drove into the river.
 
2013-07-23 11:57:50 AM
These tributes to Mo Rivera are getting out of hand...
 
2013-07-23 11:58:42 AM

nekom: One thing that I noticed about Florida:  What they call a river, we'd call a creek.


The Indian River is about a mile wide up in Frontenac, though it's really a lagoon at that point.

The article states the guy wasn't felling well, so it sounds to me like he had a heart attack and drove off into the water, either way, he was probably trapped under the mower when he veered into the water and drowned.
 
2013-07-23 11:59:50 AM
A Talking Heads song was plying on his MP3 player.
 
2013-07-23 12:00:23 PM
He had some kind of medical issue - lungs full of water not air.
 
2013-07-23 12:06:42 PM
Water isn't even knee deep, so heart attack is looking more and more likely to me.


www.cfnews13.com
 
2013-07-23 12:07:45 PM

Harry Freakstorm: A Talking Heads song was plying on his MP3 player.


Psycho Killer? Our House? Which one?
 
2013-07-23 12:17:33 PM

munko: Harry Freakstorm: A Talking Heads song was plying on his MP3 player.

Psycho Killer? Our House? Which one?


My money would be on Once In a Lifetime...

/ Too bad he couldn't carry the water when under the water :(
 
2013-07-23 12:20:22 PM

gopher321: "Why is the sky blue?"

"Because if it was green, we wouldn't know where to stop mowing."

/old joke from Night Court
//bet that river looked reeeeal green


Wow. Nostalgiabomb. Thank you.

/Dan? Ve used to be... men.
 
2013-07-23 12:29:28 PM
Dang, that was lucky. Doggone near lost a four hundred dollar handcar riding mower.
 
2013-07-23 12:41:00 PM

HAMMERTOE: You'd think he could have rolled down the window and got out. Was this Ted Kennedy's retired gardener or something?


Think I just pissed myself.  Now THAT's good comedy!
 
2013-07-23 12:43:44 PM
The article doesn't say, and the picture is after the fact, but maybe the mower was turned sideways and trapped him underwater.
 
2013-07-23 12:54:59 PM

dahmers love zombie: Mown....River....
[i.imgur.com image 400x252]


first thing that came to my mind as well

/there's a reason you are faved in pale corpse blue
 
2013-07-23 12:56:13 PM

I_Am_Weasel: Deceptive Flex Seal advertising claims another life.  When will it end!?


It'll cost you thouuuuusands!
 
2013-07-23 01:02:23 PM

Englebert Slaptyback: BREVARD COUNTY --

A Brevard County man is dead after he plunges into the Indian River while riding a lawnmower.


Great job, Mr. Editing Guy.


That whole article was bad and gave me eye cancer
 
2013-07-23 01:17:25 PM

SordidEuphemism: gopher321: "Why is the sky blue?"

"Because if it was green, we wouldn't know where to stop mowing."

/old joke from Night Court
//bet that river looked reeeeal green

Wow. Nostalgiabomb. Thank you.

/Dan? Ve used to be... men.


Yeah, I was going to respond to you first, gopher, after finishing the thread, but came upon SordidEuphemism's nostalgiabomb quote.

So, I had to stop everything and write words because I like to write words.

Nostalgiabomb is a most fun way to put it-

Plus the thanks. I'd also like to thank you.

So, thank you.

/the Saint Ain Motel?.....Read it again.
// Dan DanFielding
/// hi, NSA. How have you been? Nostalgiabomb has nothing to do with exploding things. Dammit, I said exploding and something-bomb in the same sentence! Dammit, I did it again!
So, how's the wife?
//remember, I'm an NSA kid, I'm one of you
/the white van will be arriving soon. please gather your things for departure
 
2013-07-23 01:18:56 PM

Make More Hinjews: munko: Harry Freakstorm: A Talking Heads song was plying on his MP3 player.

Psycho Killer? Our House? Which one?

My money would be on Once In a Lifetime...

/ Too bad he couldn't carry the water when under the water :(


And She Was?
 
2013-07-23 01:26:53 PM
I've done this once back in '91 at my aunt's place. She had a big beast of a push self propelled lawnmower and I was turning the corner when I thought I could stand on the sea wall and control the machine. I didn't step off, the lawnmower backed up suddenly. I was bummed, my aunt wouldn't let me use it after that and I liked that lawnmower.
 
2013-07-23 01:28:08 PM
Haha!
It's funny because someone died!
Stay classy, Fark.
 
2013-07-23 02:01:34 PM

GoldDude: bionicjoe: A friend of my uncle's died weed-eating around a pond from a boat.
Dude couldn't swim a lick, but loved to boat & fish.

I'm guessing you're referring to weed-trimming rather than dunking his head underwater and chowing down?  Had the guy never heard of a life-vest?


Weed-eating is a perfectly cromulent term.

StrikitRich: Water isn't even knee deep, so heart attack is looking more and more likely to me.


Looks like a pretty decent drop to the water, he might have been knocked out when he hit bottom.
 
2013-07-23 02:27:42 PM
Mow along now. Nothing to swim here.
 
2013-07-23 02:47:11 PM
When you read an article like this where you can die while doing something as innocent as mowing your Lawn, Boy, it really makes you think.  You believe you're safe but the past teaches us otherwise, and it's impossible Toro against the tide of history.  So be sure to take a moment to pause and appreciate all you hold Deere.
 
2013-07-23 09:29:25 PM

KidneyStone: nekom: One thing that I noticed about Florida:  What they call a river, we'd call a creek.

Your creeks are three quarters of a mile wide?


...and the St. John's River is over 3 miles wide at the Buckman Bridge.  Black Creek, nearby, is 50 yards before hitting the St. Johns.....
 
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