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(BBC)   The royal water has broken. I repeat, the royal water has broken. This is not a drill. Please report to your station and freak the fark out   (bbc.co.uk) divider line 50
    More: News, Kensington Palace, Paddington, Duchess of Cambridge  
•       •       •

4744 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Jul 2013 at 3:03 AM (50 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-07-22 05:11:05 AM
4 votes:
I'd like to take this moment to observe how utterly bizarre it is that much of the anglosphere has fetishized every detail of the marriage and procreation of a couple of boring upper class English people whose major selling points are that they have a cute dog and the lady is reasonably attractive and buys nice hats.

It is preposterous that this infant will be Canada's head of state in about 60 years, and even more ridiculous that this event heralds the birth of a future head of a state church.  Can we just consider why, exactly, anyone thinks a theocratic monarchy should be the basis of any political system?  And is there anything, other than sheer lack of political will to address anything constitutional, that justifies Canada of all places continuing to support this remnant of colonialism?  It's hard to find another country that combines Canada's belligerent egalitarianism, disdain of anything elitist or stuck-up, navel-gazing obsession with national identity and citizenship, widespread atheism/apatheism, and multi-ethnic origins that strongly compete with any former sense of British cultural descent.  (You sort of have Australia, but Australia doesn't even have a third of the population speaking French.)  All these things together make Canada a really odd place to continue to promote a foreign monarchy.

The Yanks and the French figured this one out in the 1700s.  Time to join the 18th century, Canada!
2013-07-22 03:37:31 AM
3 votes:
Jeebus I thought we fought 2 wars with those wankers to not have to give a shiat about thier royalty.
2013-07-22 03:09:48 AM
3 votes:
who the fark cares?
2013-07-22 03:06:07 AM
3 votes:
This should be the new standard for newsflash abuse.
2013-07-22 07:22:14 AM
2 votes:
#1 story on BBC home page at the moment: China Earthquake.

Below it's the Dubai rape case, then below that's the Royal baby.

#1 story on CNN home page at the moment: "Royal Baby on the Way".  The Earthquake's a single sentence link stuck on the left below "5 things to start your new day".
2013-07-22 04:12:35 AM
2 votes:
One Heir coming up. Spare to follow.

I keed. A little.

Here's hoping for a healthy happy bundle of Brit blue-blooded bouncing baby.

/As long as the kid doesn't end up with Grandpa's ears it should be good.
//Or a ginger.
///*shudders*
2013-07-22 03:12:30 AM
2 votes:
OMG OMG OMG you guise, hurry up! The next trivial distraction is starting!
2013-07-22 03:10:16 AM
2 votes:
i884.photobucket.com
2013-07-22 11:31:57 AM
1 votes:
In the words of St. Augustine, "inter faces et uriname nascimur."  That doesn't mean the first one is always the hardest, even though it is.  I wish them a happy, healthy child.
2013-07-22 10:14:07 AM
1 votes:

FrancoFile:
Hey, at least you got your flag right.  If/when the Aussies and Kiwis drop the monarchy, are they going to redesign their flags to eliminate the mini-UK flag embedded in it?


Like Hawai'i did?

upload.wikimedia.org
2013-07-22 07:53:21 AM
1 votes:
Anyone for Henry IX?

The downside is that it will fark up the Herman's Hermits song, but you gotta break some eggs to make an omelet.
2013-07-22 07:35:53 AM
1 votes:
In other exciting news my niece was born two weeks ago and had the decency to not be late :D
2013-07-22 07:27:46 AM
1 votes:

kevinatilusa: #1 story on BBC home page at the moment: China Earthquake.

Below it's the Dubai rape case, then below that's the Royal baby.

#1 story on CNN home page at the moment: "Royal Baby on the Way".  The Earthquake's a single sentence link stuck on the left below "5 things to start your new day".


This is waaaaay more relevant to American media interests than UK. NPR did a hilarious bit, I think it was "On the Media" where they went to London to gauge excitement, and most English were like "meh"...then they played clips of all our dumb morning and News outlets that were flipping the fark out.
2013-07-22 07:04:53 AM
1 votes:

feckingmorons: Yeah, another Britisher on the dole.

At least it isn't a muzzie.


mediacdn.shopatron.com

What a Muzzy might look like.
2013-07-22 07:02:58 AM
1 votes:
Oh great, now we won't get much real news for the next few days because all the networks will become the 24/7 royal baby channels :-P
2013-07-22 07:02:43 AM
1 votes:
I'm happy for them. I'm looking forward to the stats.

I'm guessing 7.9lbs 21inches (omg someone do the conversion!!)

I secretly hope they name the baby George.
2013-07-22 07:00:11 AM
1 votes:

Cheese eating surrender monkey: [img96.imageshack.us image 368x208]


4.bp.blogspot.com
2013-07-22 06:50:12 AM
1 votes:
img96.imageshack.us
2013-07-22 06:32:21 AM
1 votes:

bobbette: I'd like to take this moment to observe how utterly bizarre it is that much of the anglosphere has fetishized every detail of the marriage and procreation of a couple of boring upper class English people whose major selling points are that they have a cute dog and the lady is reasonably attractive and buys nice hats.

It is preposterous that this infant will be Canada's head of state in about 60 years, and even more ridiculous that this event heralds the birth of a future head of a state church.  Can we just consider why, exactly, anyone thinks a theocratic monarchy should be the basis of any political system?  And is there anything, other than sheer lack of political will to address anything constitutional, that justifies Canada of all places continuing to support this remnant of colonialism?  It's hard to find another country that combines Canada's belligerent egalitarianism, disdain of anything elitist or stuck-up, navel-gazing obsession with national identity and citizenship, widespread atheism/apatheism, and multi-ethnic origins that strongly compete with any former sense of British cultural descent.  (You sort of have Australia, but Australia doesn't even have a third of the population speaking French.)  All these things together make Canada a really odd place to continue to promote a foreign monarchy.

The Yanks and the French figured this one out in the 1700s.  Time to join the 18th century, Canada!


Don't use the US as an example; democracy hasn't been working all that well here in the last few years.
2013-07-22 05:35:54 AM
1 votes:
"...and now we the official shiat-remover readying the royal bedpan for the princesses inevitable labor defecation, as is tradition."
2013-07-22 05:27:14 AM
1 votes:

4tehsnowflakes: quatchi: I think in the wake of the post Diana debacle the UK press and paparazzi were pretty hands off on Harry and William

Yes, they showed great restraint when Harry got in a bit of a spot over that drunken, naked billiards party in Vegas.  The UK tabloids kept a stiff upper lip and refused to report on the story.

/gay celeb snarker at dlisted calls him Prince Hot Ginge, NTTAWWT


They were hands off to the extent that they allowed the royal family to dictate the kind of media coverage the kiddos got for a while, and it was more hands-off until they were adults and were able to manage their press.

This baby is going to be leveraged for publicity for all it's worth, just like the royal wedding was and like Diana and her kids were in the 80s.  The royal family is excellent at PR and they know that they need to sell the happy younger generation to make up for the media disasters that were Chuck, Princess Anne, Andy, etc.
2013-07-22 05:14:51 AM
1 votes:

quatchi: I think in the wake of the post Diana debacle the UK press and paparazzi were pretty hands off on Harry and William


Yes, they showed great restraint when Harry got in a bit of a spot over that drunken, naked billiards party in Vegas.  The UK tabloids kept a stiff upper lip and refused to report on the story.

/gay celeb snarker at dlisted calls him Prince Hot Ginge, NTTAWWT
2013-07-22 04:49:53 AM
1 votes:
I'm actually in London right now on vacation. Hope she waits to give birth until after I leave tomorrow. The wife on the other hand is freaking out and is begging all that is holy that the baby comes while we're here.


/Do not understand the obsession.
2013-07-22 04:44:11 AM
1 votes:

Bathia_Mapes: And now I've got the giggles because I just realized I called Charles "Princess Charles". :-D


Now now. Only Camilla is allowed to call him that and even only when she's carrying the riding crop and he's completely decked out in his Princess Celestia COS-playing outfit.

/Good luck getting that mental image out. :>p
2013-07-22 04:39:04 AM
1 votes:

Bathia_Mapes: They bring in a lot of tourist money to the country.


True story, Sis.

I also give Liz a lot of props for opening up the Royal Family to the public and taking her role as Head of State of the UK and 15 other commonwealth nations so seriously.

Plus allowing herself to be filmed for the James Bond Olympics opening thingy was pretty lulzy.

I think in the wake of the post Diana debacle the UK press and paparazzi were pretty hands off on Harry and William and I hope they show similar restraint regarding the latest royal.

Of course the whole birth of a new generation of Royals thing is gonna be a BFD to a lot of people for the next little bit. That seems well nigh unavoidable.
2013-07-22 04:16:05 AM
1 votes:
I shall make my single post on this issue--or HER issue--and say I really feel sorry for Princess Kate, Prince William, and the soon-to-be-heir. Here's wishing people would stay out of the Royal Placenta for at least an hour or two.
2013-07-22 04:13:33 AM
1 votes:

gibbo72: Lachwen: Uglybarnacle: who the fark cares?

Well, the entire United Kingdom, for a start...

uhm no we don't but the BBC certainly does, Breakfast News keeps banging on about it but theres fark all else worth watching at the moment


Yes it's the same disconnect as a Brit watching American 'News' and using that to judge what the country cares about as a whole (monster trucks and blowing things up apparently.  Also their elected leaders skin colour).  Personally I think her royal high necessities should have had standard NHS treatment OR paid for private like anyone else.  Instead of the NHS paid for private room stuffed full of top end baby birthing kit (that probably will never get used to anyone else).
2013-07-22 04:06:36 AM
1 votes:

PsychoLaurie: I kind of doubt they will name the baby Diana, unless it's a middle name. Do all British kids come with four names like Chalres Philip Arthur George??


Just the royals it would seem. Both William & Harry have 4 names, as does Princess Charles' sister, Princess Anne.
2013-07-22 04:05:28 AM
1 votes:

angrymacface: Perhaps they'll be able to teach the baby what a plumber is.

/obscure


Eddie Izzard is never obscure.
2013-07-22 04:05:26 AM
1 votes:
Prince Hans-Jürgen. Get back to their Saxe-Coburg-Gotha roots that they tried to hide once WW1 rolled around and they changed the family name to Windsor.

Also, which has more inbreeding? The backwoods of West Virginia or the British royal family?
2013-07-22 03:58:26 AM
1 votes:
So, a third generation for Liz to try and outlive.

What do we say, 50/50 on this one?
2013-07-22 03:58:01 AM
1 votes:
I kind of doubt they will name the baby Diana, unless it's a middle name. Do all British kids come with four names like Chalres Philip Arthur George??
2013-07-22 03:57:55 AM
1 votes:

loveblondieo: iheartscotch: I'm sure you ment to say something that rhymes with aiden...

The world would implode on pure doucheosity if we ever had a King Caiden or Braiden.


The royals are very traditional so I doubt they'd even consider names like that. However, if it's a girl I wouldn't be surprised if Diana is part of the baby's name since they tend to do a first name followed by three middle names.

Princess Anne is Anne Elizabeth Alice Louise
2013-07-22 03:53:57 AM
1 votes:

AverageAmericanGuy: Oldiron_79: Jeebus I thought we fought 2 wars with those wankers to not have to give a shiat about thier royalty.

There's something ingrained deep down in our American psyche that makes us long for a king to rule over us.

It's why Bush was elected twice.


Kneel before me. I said...kneel! Is not this simpler? Is this not your natural state? It's the unspoken truth of humanity that you crave subjugation. The bright lure of freedom diminishes your life's joy in a mad scramble for power. For identity. You were made to be ruled. In the end, you will always kneel.

images5.fanpop.com
2013-07-22 03:52:46 AM
1 votes:

loveblondieo: I don't necessarily care for stuff like this, but I find myself a wee bit excited. Maybe if it's a girl, they could name her Diana or Diane.


I'm hoping for either Arthur or Mordred.
2013-07-22 03:52:08 AM
1 votes:

iheartscotch: I'm sure you ment to say something that rhymes with aiden...


The world would implode on pure doucheosity if we ever had a King Caiden or Braiden.
2013-07-22 03:49:38 AM
1 votes:

loveblondieo: I don't necessarily care for stuff like this, but I find myself a wee bit excited. Maybe if it's a girl, they could name her Diana or Diane.


I'm sure you ment to say something that rhymes with aiden...

/ I hear that's a very popular name these days...

// I'm still hoping for a baby that is obviously not white; for the luz
2013-07-22 03:38:22 AM
1 votes:

Oldiron_79: Jeebus I thought we fought 2 wars with those wankers to not have to give a shiat about thier royalty.


There's something ingrained deep down in our American psyche that makes us long for a king to rule over us.

It's why Bush was elected twice.
2013-07-22 03:31:54 AM
1 votes:

thisdaydreamer: deanayer: Her Majesty's secret cervix is opening !!

Why the hell didn't you submit this? I would have voted for it.

/subby


John Oliver is a cool comedian. Fark has already stolen the Daily Show's Her Majesty's Secret Cervix gag once, and that's enough.
2013-07-22 03:24:22 AM
1 votes:
Lizard Tits would be a good name for a band.
2013-07-22 03:20:10 AM
1 votes:
Another Englishman born into poverty. At least he will be sucking on the Royal teet for a bit before sucking on the other one.
2013-07-22 03:17:43 AM
1 votes:
the redcoats are coming?
2013-07-22 03:12:29 AM
1 votes:
Full moon.
7+2+2=11 (The master number)
Girl
Name is Mary
2013-07-22 03:11:05 AM
1 votes:
Tell me when she is crowning, I love a good coronation.

/"ahhhh.....bloody farking hell!!"
2013-07-22 03:10:48 AM
1 votes:
Uneasy lies the head that sees the crown.
2013-07-22 03:09:43 AM
1 votes:
Must be summer. Nothing important or interesting to report.
2013-07-22 03:09:16 AM
1 votes:
fc03.deviantart.net
2013-07-22 03:08:01 AM
1 votes:
Her Majesty's secret cervix is opening !!
2013-07-22 03:06:14 AM
1 votes:
You can call her Her Royal Highness all you want, but at the end of the day, some guy with bad teeth is going to be shouting into her bloody, distended crotch.

Ah, the miracle of birth.
2013-07-22 03:05:23 AM
1 votes:
NO
 
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