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(BBC)   The royal water has broken. I repeat, the royal water has broken. This is not a drill. Please report to your station and freak the fark out   ( bbc.co.uk) divider line
    More: News, Kensington Palace, Paddington, Duchess of Cambridge  
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4774 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Jul 2013 at 3:03 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



258 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-07-22 03:03:56 AM  
Or she is having tea and crumpets and checking out her private wing.
 
2013-07-22 03:04:53 AM  
Yeah, another Britisher on the dole.

At least it isn't a muzzie.
 
2013-07-22 03:04:56 AM  

Fear_and_Loathing: Or she is having tea and crumpets and checking out her private wing.


Tea time is not for another hour!

/4 AM tea is the best tea.
 
2013-07-22 03:05:23 AM  
NO
 
2013-07-22 03:06:00 AM  
Umm, hip, hip?

And such like...
 
2013-07-22 03:06:07 AM  
This should be the new standard for newsflash abuse.
 
2013-07-22 03:06:14 AM  
You can call her Her Royal Highness all you want, but at the end of the day, some guy with bad teeth is going to be shouting into her bloody, distended crotch.

Ah, the miracle of birth.
 
2013-07-22 03:06:53 AM  
That baby is going to ruin her vagina.
 
2013-07-22 03:08:01 AM  
Her Majesty's secret cervix is opening !!
 
2013-07-22 03:08:12 AM  

RobertBruce: This should be the new standard for newsflash abuse.


Because it isn't a newsflash?
 
2013-07-22 03:09:16 AM  
fc03.deviantart.net
 
2013-07-22 03:09:43 AM  
Must be summer. Nothing important or interesting to report.
 
2013-07-22 03:09:48 AM  
who the fark cares?
 
2013-07-22 03:10:12 AM  

RobertBruce: This should be the new standard for newsflash abuse.


It says "news", not "news flash".
 
2013-07-22 03:10:16 AM  
i884.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-22 03:10:38 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: You can call her Her Royal Highness all you want, but at the end of the day, some guy with bad teeth is going to be shouting into her bloody, distended crotch.

Ah, the miracle of birth.


All the titles in the world won't keep you continent once you get to the second stage, as she'll doubtless discover soon. I'm not a royal-watcher but I do feel some sympathy for her in this instance -- I can't even imagine going through delivery with the hospital surrounded by hundreds of people who are dying to get a best-selling photo somehow. And of course all the nurses probably have cellphones. Best of luck to the happy couple, now after this can they GTFO all the magazine covers for a bit?
 
2013-07-22 03:10:48 AM  
Uneasy lies the head that sees the crown.
 
2013-07-22 03:10:49 AM  
No, this is a drill.

www.factzoo.com
 
2013-07-22 03:10:50 AM  
sd.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk
 
2013-07-22 03:10:55 AM  

deanayer: Her Majesty's secret cervix is opening !!


Why the hell didn't you submit this? I would have voted for it.

/subby
 
2013-07-22 03:11:05 AM  
Tell me when she is crowning, I love a good coronation.

/"ahhhh.....bloody farking hell!!"
 
2013-07-22 03:11:10 AM  
Last I heard the human population had a net gain of 1 person every 13 seconds so I find it hard to care about any one in general and this one in particular.
 
2013-07-22 03:12:29 AM  
Full moon.
7+2+2=11 (The master number)
Girl
Name is Mary
 
2013-07-22 03:12:30 AM  
OMG OMG OMG you guise, hurry up! The next trivial distraction is starting!
 
2013-07-22 03:12:45 AM  

Bathia_Mapes: RobertBruce: This should be the new standard for newsflash abuse.

It says "news", not "news flash".


You'd be wrong. All the news sites hae breaking news banners.

We'll maybe you aren't wrong, they are.
 
2013-07-22 03:13:09 AM  
Meh
 
2013-07-22 03:13:25 AM  
The baby's tardy right?
 
2013-07-22 03:13:32 AM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-07-22 03:15:05 AM  
Ugh, another semi-retarded freak for the old folk to obsess over.
If it's a boy it'll have crappy hair, if a girl it'll have lizard tits.
 
2013-07-22 03:17:43 AM  
the redcoats are coming?
 
2013-07-22 03:18:10 AM  

Fear_and_Loathing: Or she is having tea and crumpets and checking out her private wing.


It's going on 8:30 a.m. where she's at. I wonder if she's up for a full English breakfast.
 
2013-07-22 03:20:10 AM  
Another Englishman born into poverty. At least he will be sucking on the Royal teet for a bit before sucking on the other one.
 
2013-07-22 03:20:19 AM  
I will forthwith move the booze to the basement, along with my 2TB hard drive's worth of Max Hardcore movies, nail the door shut and disconnect the cable modem.  See ya all in 10 weeks.
 
2013-07-22 03:20:34 AM  
What if its a son and it looks like Trayvon?
 
2013-07-22 03:22:53 AM  
I'd break her water, if you know what I mean.

/gross
 
2013-07-22 03:24:00 AM  

Uglybarnacle: who the fark cares?


Well, the entire United Kingdom, for a start...
 
2013-07-22 03:24:22 AM  
Lizard Tits would be a good name for a band.
 
2013-07-22 03:25:37 AM  
A line from the article that I could've gone my life without seeing:

"the queen's current gynecologist"

*shudder*
 
2013-07-22 03:29:44 AM  

Lachwen: <b><a href="http://www.fark.com/comments/7853228/85493644#c85493644" target="_blank">Uglybarnacle</a>:</b> <i>who the fark cares?</i>

Well, the entire United Kingdom, for a start...


Yeah, I suppose this like Kim Kardashian, Snooki  and Beyonce delivering all at the same time for them or something.
 
2013-07-22 03:29:58 AM  
Eww.
 
2013-07-22 03:31:54 AM  

thisdaydreamer: deanayer: Her Majesty's secret cervix is opening !!

Why the hell didn't you submit this? I would have voted for it.

/subby


John Oliver is a cool comedian. Fark has already stolen the Daily Show's Her Majesty's Secret Cervix gag once, and that's enough.
 
2013-07-22 03:33:25 AM  
lol stillborn
 
2013-07-22 03:34:46 AM  

gibbon1: I will forthwith move the booze to the basement, along with my 2TB hard drive's worth of Max Hardcore movies, nail the door shut and disconnect the cable modem.  See ya all in 10 weeks.


"In my room, redefinin' the meanin' of black holes"

Go on, suck it up; but hurry, I got nuts to bust
And butts to fark and ups to shut and sluts to farkin' uppercut
It's Fark buttercup: go ahead, fark with us
Without a doubt, a sure-fire way to get your mother farked
Ask her for a couple bucks, shove a trumpet up her butt
Play a song, invade a thong, my dick is havin' guts for lunch
As well as supper; then I'll rummage through her ruptured coont
Found the mustard, farkin' nosey neighbors notice somethings up
"What you doin'? " Nothin' much, squish out some other stuff
Gotta farkin' bounce, guess the bouncer's had enough of us
 
2013-07-22 03:36:09 AM  

C18H27NO3: Last I heard the human population had a net gain of 1 person every 13 seconds so I find it hard to care about any one in general and this one in particular.


that is for the U.S.
 for the world it is about 2.65 per second net
 
2013-07-22 03:37:31 AM  
Jeebus I thought we fought 2 wars with those wankers to not have to give a shiat about thier royalty.
 
2013-07-22 03:37:35 AM  
I wonder if they save it and use it for some kind of weird ritual. Maybe the queen has to drink it to prolong her life.
 
2013-07-22 03:37:36 AM  
Come oooon; black baby, for the lulz!
 
2013-07-22 03:38:22 AM  

Oldiron_79: Jeebus I thought we fought 2 wars with those wankers to not have to give a shiat about thier royalty.


There's something ingrained deep down in our American psyche that makes us long for a king to rule over us.

It's why Bush was elected twice.
 
2013-07-22 03:38:57 AM  

Lachwen: Uglybarnacle: who the fark cares?

Well, the entire United Kingdom, for a start...


uhm no we don't but the BBC certainly does, Breakfast News keeps banging on about it but theres fark all else worth watching at the moment
 
2013-07-22 03:39:59 AM  
May he be promptly strangled by the entrails of the last priest.

// Come at me, NSA
 
2013-07-22 03:41:26 AM  
I'm worried if it pokes its head out and sees its shadow, we'll get three more weeks of winter in the Southern Hemisphere.
 
2013-07-22 03:41:54 AM  
I thought the Zimmerman trial was overplayed and here we are. Though I do remember exactly where I was when I learned Diana died.

huh.
 
2013-07-22 03:43:24 AM  
simoniskender.files.wordpress.com
/hot 180
 
2013-07-22 03:43:26 AM  
I don't necessarily care for stuff like this, but I find myself a wee bit excited. Maybe if it's a girl, they could name her Diana or Diane.
 
2013-07-22 03:46:38 AM  
Trooping the colours (fta)..sounds too English but exquisitely proper for some reason.

/cautious wave in honor of her majesty
//buying Uncle Harry a bloody pint and Willie a stogie
 
2013-07-22 03:48:13 AM  
Is this what they mean by "Toad in the Hole"?
 
2013-07-22 03:49:27 AM  
So what are the odds on this one being the Antichrist?
 
2013-07-22 03:49:35 AM  
Perhaps they'll be able to teach the baby what a plumber is.

/obscure
 
2013-07-22 03:49:38 AM  

loveblondieo: I don't necessarily care for stuff like this, but I find myself a wee bit excited. Maybe if it's a girl, they could name her Diana or Diane.


I'm sure you ment to say something that rhymes with aiden...

/ I hear that's a very popular name these days...

// I'm still hoping for a baby that is obviously not white; for the luz
 
2013-07-22 03:51:08 AM  

iheartscotch: loveblondieo: I don't necessarily care for stuff like this, but I find myself a wee bit excited. Maybe if it's a girl, they could name her Diana or Diane.

I'm sure you ment to say something that rhymes with aiden...

/ I hear that's a very popular name these days...

// I'm still hoping for a baby that is obviously not white; for the luz


MAXIMUM TROLLING
 
2013-07-22 03:51:11 AM  
The baby is hatless. I repeat, the baby is hatless.
 
2013-07-22 03:52:08 AM  

iheartscotch: I'm sure you ment to say something that rhymes with aiden...


The world would implode on pure doucheosity if we ever had a King Caiden or Braiden.
 
2013-07-22 03:52:46 AM  

loveblondieo: I don't necessarily care for stuff like this, but I find myself a wee bit excited. Maybe if it's a girl, they could name her Diana or Diane.


I'm hoping for either Arthur or Mordred.
 
2013-07-22 03:53:39 AM  

SpdrJay: So what are the odds on this one being the Antichrist?


i.telegraph.co.uk
WOT?
 
2013-07-22 03:53:57 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: Oldiron_79: Jeebus I thought we fought 2 wars with those wankers to not have to give a shiat about thier royalty.

There's something ingrained deep down in our American psyche that makes us long for a king to rule over us.

It's why Bush was elected twice.


Kneel before me. I said...kneel! Is not this simpler? Is this not your natural state? It's the unspoken truth of humanity that you crave subjugation. The bright lure of freedom diminishes your life's joy in a mad scramble for power. For identity. You were made to be ruled. In the end, you will always kneel.

images5.fanpop.com
 
2013-07-22 03:57:29 AM  

loveblondieo: iheartscotch: I'm sure you ment to say something that rhymes with aiden...

The world would implode on pure doucheosity if we ever had a King Caiden or Braiden.


Prince Brayden Dhakota or Princess Reneesmé Mahdelleynne.
 
2013-07-22 03:57:55 AM  

loveblondieo: iheartscotch: I'm sure you ment to say something that rhymes with aiden...

The world would implode on pure doucheosity if we ever had a King Caiden or Braiden.


The royals are very traditional so I doubt they'd even consider names like that. However, if it's a girl I wouldn't be surprised if Diana is part of the baby's name since they tend to do a first name followed by three middle names.

Princess Anne is Anne Elizabeth Alice Louise
 
2013-07-22 03:58:01 AM  
I kind of doubt they will name the baby Diana, unless it's a middle name. Do all British kids come with four names like Chalres Philip Arthur George??
 
2013-07-22 03:58:06 AM  

mr lawson: that is for the U.S.
for the world it is about 2.65 per second net


Right on, thanks for the correction.
When I was typing it out I tried to remember if that was just the U.S. or the world and took one side of the 50/50.
/The wrong side, heh.
 
2013-07-22 03:58:21 AM  
Name of the baby:

Poops McGigglesworth IV esq.
 
2013-07-22 03:58:26 AM  
So, a third generation for Liz to try and outlive.

What do we say, 50/50 on this one?
 
Skr
2013-07-22 03:58:35 AM  
content9.flixster.com

Royale Placenta with Cheese ?
 
2013-07-22 03:59:31 AM  

SpaceBison: lol stillborn


Dude.....
 
2013-07-22 04:05:26 AM  
Prince Hans-Jürgen. Get back to their Saxe-Coburg-Gotha roots that they tried to hide once WW1 rolled around and they changed the family name to Windsor.

Also, which has more inbreeding? The backwoods of West Virginia or the British royal family?
 
2013-07-22 04:05:28 AM  

angrymacface: Perhaps they'll be able to teach the baby what a plumber is.

/obscure


Eddie Izzard is never obscure.
 
2013-07-22 04:06:36 AM  

PsychoLaurie: I kind of doubt they will name the baby Diana, unless it's a middle name. Do all British kids come with four names like Chalres Philip Arthur George??


Just the royals it would seem. Both William & Harry have 4 names, as does Princess Charles' sister, Princess Anne.
 
2013-07-22 04:06:58 AM  
Consider:

Royal Birth palava

Vs.

US election jamborees.

I'll take the former thanks.
 
2013-07-22 04:10:27 AM  

cretinbob: [i884.photobucket.com image 682x449]


Pretty much most of the UK summed up right there.
 
2013-07-22 04:12:08 AM  

C18H27NO3: mr lawson: that is for the U.S.
for the world it is about 2.65 per second net

Right on, thanks for the correction.
When I was typing it out I tried to remember if that was just the U.S. or the world and took one side of the 50/50.
/The wrong side, heh.


well..you are better than me. I didn't have a clue what the number was. I thought yours sounded a bit low so off to google I went. (and sadly i actually did math to arrive at that number....i weird like that:-0 )
 
2013-07-22 04:12:11 AM  

loveblondieo: iheartscotch: I'm sure you ment to say something that rhymes with aiden...

The world would implode on pure doucheosity if we ever had a King Caiden or Braiden.


The social world would explode at the very least. If we could harness the butt-hurt; it would be more than the power of 1000 suns.
 
2013-07-22 04:12:35 AM  
One Heir coming up. Spare to follow.

I keed. A little.

Here's hoping for a healthy happy bundle of Brit blue-blooded bouncing baby.

/As long as the kid doesn't end up with Grandpa's ears it should be good.
//Or a ginger.
///*shudders*
 
2013-07-22 04:13:10 AM  
Y'all talk about if the baby is interracial...hell, I'm going whole hog and hoping we have intersex triplets.  For the lulz (specifically in the "how do we set the royal primogeniture for the Royal Herm" flavour of lulz)...

/At least Queen Liz will be happy...won't change her present life goal of outliving Queen Victoria (and thus Prince Chuck and the Royal Steed)
 
2013-07-22 04:13:33 AM  

gibbo72: Lachwen: Uglybarnacle: who the fark cares?

Well, the entire United Kingdom, for a start...

uhm no we don't but the BBC certainly does, Breakfast News keeps banging on about it but theres fark all else worth watching at the moment


Yes it's the same disconnect as a Brit watching American 'News' and using that to judge what the country cares about as a whole (monster trucks and blowing things up apparently.  Also their elected leaders skin colour).  Personally I think her royal high necessities should have had standard NHS treatment OR paid for private like anyone else.  Instead of the NHS paid for private room stuffed full of top end baby birthing kit (that probably will never get used to anyone else).
 
2013-07-22 04:14:48 AM  
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_royal_houses

Here is a list of all the kings and queens of the world. If you don't get this excited any time any one of them has someone in their family give birth to a future heir, you're totally a racist.
 
2013-07-22 04:15:50 AM  
Who cares?
 
2013-07-22 04:16:05 AM  
I shall make my single post on this issue--or HER issue--and say I really feel sorry for Princess Kate, Prince William, and the soon-to-be-heir. Here's wishing people would stay out of the Royal Placenta for at least an hour or two.
 
2013-07-22 04:16:27 AM  
When should I say I don't care?  Is that now?  I really feel like I need to point out that I don't care...
 
2013-07-22 04:17:43 AM  
THANKS OBAMA
 
2013-07-22 04:18:22 AM  

doglover: Who cares?


I know. Harry will just have another neck to sever in his climb to the throne. No biggie.
 
2013-07-22 04:20:35 AM  

Bathia_Mapes: PsychoLaurie: I kind of doubt they will name the baby Diana, unless it's a middle name. Do all British kids come with four names like Chalres Philip Arthur George??

Just the royals it would seem. Both William & Harry have 4 names, as does Princess Charles' sister, Princess Anne.


One of my sons has 4 names, tis sadly true.
 
2013-07-22 04:24:53 AM  
Am I the only one who thinks this woman should be aloud to have her baby in private without the public freaking out? They have been going on and on and on about her pregnancy for months now. I say let the poor woman give birth to her child in peace!
 
2013-07-22 04:25:34 AM  

Fear_and_Loathing: Bathia_Mapes: PsychoLaurie: I kind of doubt they will name the baby Diana, unless it's a middle name. Do all British kids come with four names like Chalres Philip Arthur George??

Just the royals it would seem. Both William & Harry have 4 names, as does Princess Charles' sister, Princess Anne.

One of my sons has 4 names, tis sadly true.


Nothing wrong with that.

And now I've got the giggles because I just realized I called Charles "Princess Charles". :-D
 
2013-07-22 04:25:56 AM  

Gyrfalcon: I shall make my single post on this issue--or HER issue--and say I really feel sorry for Princess Kate, Prince William, and the soon-to-be-heir. Here's wishing people would stay out of the Royal Placenta for at least an hour or two.


What other function do they serve besides tabloid fodder?

Sad, sad commentary on a nation and society at large that we (not me) care, but there it is.
 
2013-07-22 04:28:04 AM  

inclemency: Gyrfalcon: I shall make my single post on this issue--or HER issue--and say I really feel sorry for Princess Kate, Prince William, and the soon-to-be-heir. Here's wishing people would stay out of the Royal Placenta for at least an hour or two.

What other function do they serve besides tabloid fodder?

Sad, sad commentary on a nation and society at large that we (not me) care, but there it is.


They bring in a lot of tourist money to the country.
 
2013-07-22 04:29:10 AM  

Fear_and_Loathing: Bathia_Mapes: PsychoLaurie: I kind of doubt they will name the baby Diana, unless it's a middle name. Do all British kids come with four names like Chalres Philip Arthur George??

Just the royals it would seem. Both William & Harry have 4 names, as does Princess Charles' sister, Princess Anne.

One of my sons has 4 names, tis sadly true.


John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt?
 
2013-07-22 04:29:36 AM  
etc.usf.edu
Meh. Who cares?
 
2013-07-22 04:33:51 AM  
Well, I'm excited!
 
2013-07-22 04:39:04 AM  

Bathia_Mapes: They bring in a lot of tourist money to the country.


True story, Sis.

I also give Liz a lot of props for opening up the Royal Family to the public and taking her role as Head of State of the UK and 15 other commonwealth nations so seriously.

Plus allowing herself to be filmed for the James Bond Olympics opening thingy was pretty lulzy.

I think in the wake of the post Diana debacle the UK press and paparazzi were pretty hands off on Harry and William and I hope they show similar restraint regarding the latest royal.

Of course the whole birth of a new generation of Royals thing is gonna be a BFD to a lot of people for the next little bit. That seems well nigh unavoidable.
 
2013-07-22 04:43:20 AM  

loveblondieo: iheartscotch: I'm sure you ment to say something that rhymes with aiden...

The world would implode on pure doucheosity if we ever had a King Caiden or Braiden.


www.biography.comwww.thefastertimes.com
 
2013-07-22 04:43:21 AM  
Hoping the baby comes out resembling Prince Harry...
 
2013-07-22 04:43:44 AM  
One the best know comedies die few days ago and that was not news to the US, but this shiat ? is
get you Farken things in order you farken farkers
 
2013-07-22 04:44:11 AM  

Bathia_Mapes: And now I've got the giggles because I just realized I called Charles "Princess Charles". :-D


Now now. Only Camilla is allowed to call him that and even only when she's carrying the riding crop and he's completely decked out in his Princess Celestia COS-playing outfit.

/Good luck getting that mental image out. :>p
 
2013-07-22 04:49:44 AM  

IsNoGood: One the best know comedies die few days ago and that was not news to the US, but this shiat ? is
get you Farken things in order you farken farkers


If you mean Mel Smith there was a greenlit thread regarding his death on July 20th.
 
2013-07-22 04:49:53 AM  
I'm actually in London right now on vacation. Hope she waits to give birth until after I leave tomorrow. The wife on the other hand is freaking out and is begging all that is holy that the baby comes while we're here.


/Do not understand the obsession.
 
2013-07-22 04:55:34 AM  
OMG it's a false flag operation!

/yawn this is news somehow..
 
2013-07-22 05:00:06 AM  
meh
 
2013-07-22 05:11:05 AM  
I'd like to take this moment to observe how utterly bizarre it is that much of the anglosphere has fetishized every detail of the marriage and procreation of a couple of boring upper class English people whose major selling points are that they have a cute dog and the lady is reasonably attractive and buys nice hats.

It is preposterous that this infant will be Canada's head of state in about 60 years, and even more ridiculous that this event heralds the birth of a future head of a state church.  Can we just consider why, exactly, anyone thinks a theocratic monarchy should be the basis of any political system?  And is there anything, other than sheer lack of political will to address anything constitutional, that justifies Canada of all places continuing to support this remnant of colonialism?  It's hard to find another country that combines Canada's belligerent egalitarianism, disdain of anything elitist or stuck-up, navel-gazing obsession with national identity and citizenship, widespread atheism/apatheism, and multi-ethnic origins that strongly compete with any former sense of British cultural descent.  (You sort of have Australia, but Australia doesn't even have a third of the population speaking French.)  All these things together make Canada a really odd place to continue to promote a foreign monarchy.

The Yanks and the French figured this one out in the 1700s.  Time to join the 18th century, Canada!
 
2013-07-22 05:14:51 AM  

quatchi: I think in the wake of the post Diana debacle the UK press and paparazzi were pretty hands off on Harry and William


Yes, they showed great restraint when Harry got in a bit of a spot over that drunken, naked billiards party in Vegas.  The UK tabloids kept a stiff upper lip and refused to report on the story.

/gay celeb snarker at dlisted calls him Prince Hot Ginge, NTTAWWT
 
2013-07-22 05:17:13 AM  
I would like to take the time out of my busy schedule to log onto a website, go onto a thread about something I don't care about, and post a large, bandwidth-eating JPEG of someone going "Who cares?" to show my uncaring for it.

/Or I could just post "meh".
//Or, y'know, not even click on the thread at all.
 
2013-07-22 05:22:57 AM  
theroyalfirm.files.wordpress.com

One was not enough.

Now they're coming for hsi wife and child.
 
2013-07-22 05:27:14 AM  

4tehsnowflakes: quatchi: I think in the wake of the post Diana debacle the UK press and paparazzi were pretty hands off on Harry and William

Yes, they showed great restraint when Harry got in a bit of a spot over that drunken, naked billiards party in Vegas.  The UK tabloids kept a stiff upper lip and refused to report on the story.

/gay celeb snarker at dlisted calls him Prince Hot Ginge, NTTAWWT


They were hands off to the extent that they allowed the royal family to dictate the kind of media coverage the kiddos got for a while, and it was more hands-off until they were adults and were able to manage their press.

This baby is going to be leveraged for publicity for all it's worth, just like the royal wedding was and like Diana and her kids were in the 80s.  The royal family is excellent at PR and they know that they need to sell the happy younger generation to make up for the media disasters that were Chuck, Princess Anne, Andy, etc.
 
2013-07-22 05:29:30 AM  
Ok...Royal is coming out.
 
2013-07-22 05:35:54 AM  
"...and now we the official shiat-remover readying the royal bedpan for the princesses inevitable labor defecation, as is tradition."
 
2013-07-22 05:36:10 AM  

skinink: Hoping the baby comes out resembling Prince Harry...



Tiger Woods
 
2013-07-22 05:38:07 AM  

iheartscotch: Come oooon; black baby, for the lulz!


Being the UK, I've been hoping for an East Indian baby.
 
2013-07-22 05:38:50 AM  
I'm British. Pity me for my news bulletins will be about nothing else for the next month!

/Supports the French solution
 
2013-07-22 05:40:32 AM  
So do they still call it labor when it comes?
Surely labor is a bit lowly for their type.

"we have people to take care of that sort of thing"
 
2013-07-22 05:50:38 AM  

bobbette: I'd like to take this moment to observe how utterly bizarre it is that much of the anglosphere has fetishized every detail of the marriage and procreation of a couple of boring upper class English people whose major selling points are that they have a cute dog and the lady is reasonably attractive and buys nice hats.

It is preposterous that this infant will be Canada's head of state in about 60 years, and even more ridiculous that this event heralds the birth of a future head of a state church.  Can we just consider why, exactly, anyone thinks a theocratic monarchy should be the basis of any political system?  And is there anything, other than sheer lack of political will to address anything constitutional, that justifies Canada of all places continuing to support this remnant of colonialism?  It's hard to find another country that combines Canada's belligerent egalitarianism, disdain of anything elitist or stuck-up, navel-gazing obsession with national identity and citizenship, widespread atheism/apatheism, and multi-ethnic origins that strongly compete with any former sense of British cultural descent.  (You sort of have Australia, but Australia doesn't even have a third of the population speaking French.)  All these things together make Canada a really odd place to continue to promote a foreign monarchy.

The Yanks and the French figured this one out in the 1700s.  Time to join the 18th century, Canada!


You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you! I mean, if I went around saying I was an Emperor because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!
 
2013-07-22 05:55:06 AM  
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeee....
*runs out side screaming*
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee e eeeeee....

Wait, who the fark cares?
 
2013-07-22 05:56:38 AM  

jamspoon: I'm British. Pity me for my news bulletins will be about nothing else for the next month!

/Supports the French solution


This just in, the Royal baby sneezed, is Kate the worst mother in history.  Should CPS come to the rescue?
 
2013-07-22 06:03:34 AM  
I hope it is a girl. Their genes would make a pretty princess.
 
2013-07-22 06:04:56 AM  
This feels like such a manufactured event. Who really cares at this point? Anyone?
 
2013-07-22 06:05:04 AM  
No "SPLOOSH" reference yet?
 
2013-07-22 06:05:57 AM  
Even by Fark standards, this thread is in shockingly poor taste.
 
2013-07-22 06:12:17 AM  

Bathia_Mapes: IsNoGood: One the best know comedies die few days ago and that was not news to the US, but this shiat ? is
get you Farken things in order you farken farkers

If you mean Mel Smith there was a greenlit thread regarding his death on July 20th.


Ahhh, good how Im able to go to the Wc , and pressed out a new royal member !, Thnaks
 
2013-07-22 06:14:13 AM  
The news just reported that Princess Kate arrived at the hospital early this morning, "quietly entering through the back." Just think, if William had done that nine months ago we'd be talking about some real news right now.
 
2013-07-22 06:17:53 AM  
This will be Princess Kate's crowning achievement.
 
2013-07-22 06:18:07 AM  
The really evil part of me hopes the baby ends up losing the genetic lottery and comes out with all the inbred traits that the royal family has tried to get rid of once they realized it wasn't healthy to fark your cousin, just to remind them of their past.
 
2013-07-22 06:30:17 AM  
The Royal Mongoloid? Pip Pip, carry on.
 
2013-07-22 06:30:38 AM  
I do have to admit, for two people stuck full on in the glare of the media's spotlight, they do seem quite happy to be together & enjoy each others company.  Here's hoping that a baby just strengthens that feeling rather than driving a wedge between them.

That said, I really don't want to see all the inevitable pictures of her grunting out the royal crotchfruit (you know that at least one of the nurses will sneak out her cell phone & take a picture or two, it would set her up for life).  Let her have a little privacy & whatever dignity she can manage in that situation.

/wouldn't mind  seeing pics of the conception though
//at least her part in it anyway
 
2013-07-22 06:32:21 AM  

bobbette: I'd like to take this moment to observe how utterly bizarre it is that much of the anglosphere has fetishized every detail of the marriage and procreation of a couple of boring upper class English people whose major selling points are that they have a cute dog and the lady is reasonably attractive and buys nice hats.

It is preposterous that this infant will be Canada's head of state in about 60 years, and even more ridiculous that this event heralds the birth of a future head of a state church.  Can we just consider why, exactly, anyone thinks a theocratic monarchy should be the basis of any political system?  And is there anything, other than sheer lack of political will to address anything constitutional, that justifies Canada of all places continuing to support this remnant of colonialism?  It's hard to find another country that combines Canada's belligerent egalitarianism, disdain of anything elitist or stuck-up, navel-gazing obsession with national identity and citizenship, widespread atheism/apatheism, and multi-ethnic origins that strongly compete with any former sense of British cultural descent.  (You sort of have Australia, but Australia doesn't even have a third of the population speaking French.)  All these things together make Canada a really odd place to continue to promote a foreign monarchy.

The Yanks and the French figured this one out in the 1700s.  Time to join the 18th century, Canada!


Don't use the US as an example; democracy hasn't been working all that well here in the last few years.
 
2013-07-22 06:36:49 AM  
I love how you all love to proclaim loudest how you don't care. If it wasn't for Fark I wouldn't know about this and I'm English. You guys have a fetish for the royals. Half of you love them, the other half love to hate them. Otherwise you wouldn't be here.
 
2013-07-22 06:39:32 AM  
will she have the kid vaccinated? How about circumcised?
 
2013-07-22 06:42:51 AM  
Oh. Good. So now all the U.S. "news" for the next week and a half will be reported from the U.K. in a truncated format so a bunch of slobbering idiots can watch this shiat. Hooray.
 
2013-07-22 06:46:04 AM  

Bathia_Mapes: PsychoLaurie: I kind of doubt they will name the baby Diana, unless it's a middle name. Do all British kids come with four names like Chalres Philip Arthur George??

Just the royals it would seem. Both William & Harry have 4 names, as does Princess Charles' sister, Princess Anne.


No, I have four names. It's relatively common. Some people have an indeterminable number of names. I'd put a small wager on the possibility that Princes William and Henry both have more than 4 officially, but just keep it down for simplicities sake.
 
2013-07-22 06:50:12 AM  
img96.imageshack.us
 
2013-07-22 06:52:13 AM  

See You Next Tuesday: Slaxl: I love how you all love to proclaim loudest how you don't care. If it wasn't for Fark I wouldn't know about this and I'm English. You guys have a fetish for the royals. Half of you love them, the other half love to hate them. Otherwise you wouldn't be here.

"If it weren't for Fark"? Are you out of your wobbly-toothed skull? It's all every EVERY GODDAMNED NEWS OUTLET.  Are you chained to the radiator of a pederast who only looks at Fark?


Quite. I haven't watched TV or read a newspaper today, nor turned on the radio, and apparently no one else has as no one else has mentioned it. So no, I wouldn't know this was happening if it wasn't on Fark. Is that so difficult to believe?
 
2013-07-22 06:53:34 AM  
I'll bet the kid's hair is perfect.
 
2013-07-22 07:00:11 AM  

Cheese eating surrender monkey: [img96.imageshack.us image 368x208]


4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-07-22 07:02:43 AM  
I'm happy for them. I'm looking forward to the stats.

I'm guessing 7.9lbs 21inches (omg someone do the conversion!!)

I secretly hope they name the baby George.
 
2013-07-22 07:02:58 AM  
Oh great, now we won't get much real news for the next few days because all the networks will become the 24/7 royal baby channels :-P
 
2013-07-22 07:04:53 AM  

feckingmorons: Yeah, another Britisher on the dole.

At least it isn't a muzzie.


mediacdn.shopatron.com

What a Muzzy might look like.
 
2013-07-22 07:07:43 AM  

bobbette: I'd like to take this moment to observe how utterly bizarre it is that much of the anglosphere has fetishized every detail of the marriage and procreation of a couple of boring upper class English people whose major selling points are that they have a cute dog and the lady is reasonably attractive and buys nice hats.

It is preposterous that this infant will be Canada's head of state in about 60 years, and even more ridiculous that this event heralds the birth of a future head of a state church.  Can we just consider why, exactly, anyone thinks a theocratic monarchy should be the basis of any political system?  And is there anything, other than sheer lack of political will to address anything constitutional, that justifies Canada of all places continuing to support this remnant of colonialism?  It's hard to find another country that combines Canada's belligerent egalitarianism, disdain of anything elitist or stuck-up, navel-gazing obsession with national identity and citizenship, widespread atheism/apatheism, and multi-ethnic origins that strongly compete with any former sense of British cultural descent.  (You sort of have Australia, but Australia doesn't even have a third of the population speaking French.)  All these things together make Canada a really odd place to continue to promote a foreign monarchy.

The Yanks and the French figured this one out in the 1700s.  Time to join the 18th century, Canada!


You certainly put a lot of thought into that derp.

It's a babby for God's sake - be happy it's wanted and not "accidentally" flushed down some Chinese drain.
 
2013-07-22 07:09:17 AM  
Don't really care as long as I get a holiday out of it.
/was certain I'd get one after that scottish guy won that tennis game...
 
2013-07-22 07:10:12 AM  

Mrs.Sharpier: I'm happy for them. I'm looking forward to the stats.

I'm guessing 7.9lbs 21inches (omg someone do the conversion!!)

I secretly hope they name the baby George.


That's about 9/16ths stone and a bit less than 5/16ths of a fathom.
 
2013-07-22 07:10:54 AM  

Triumph: Full moon.
7+2+2=11 (The master number)
Girl
Name is Mary


Yeah, Queen Mary would be a good idea.
 
2013-07-22 07:13:09 AM  
Not since Farrah Abraham has so much attention been placed on someone's nether regions.
 
2013-07-22 07:19:51 AM  

Slaxl: See You Next Tuesday: Slaxl: I love how you all love to proclaim loudest how you don't care. If it wasn't for Fark I wouldn't know about this and I'm English. You guys have a fetish for the royals. Half of you love them, the other half love to hate them. Otherwise you wouldn't be here.

"If it weren't for Fark"? Are you out of your wobbly-toothed skull? It's all every EVERY GODDAMNED NEWS OUTLET.  Are you chained to the radiator of a pederast who only looks at Fark?

Quite. I haven't watched TV or read a newspaper today, nor turned on the radio, and apparently no one else has as no one else has mentioned it. So no, I wouldn't know this was happening if it wasn't on Fark. Is that so difficult to believe?


Get back to work.
 
2013-07-22 07:21:23 AM  
What kind of American actually cares about this whole thing? It reminds me of that Queen celebration a year or two ago that CNN was creaming themselves over, I just don't get it.
 
2013-07-22 07:22:14 AM  
#1 story on BBC home page at the moment: China Earthquake.

Below it's the Dubai rape case, then below that's the Royal baby.

#1 story on CNN home page at the moment: "Royal Baby on the Way".  The Earthquake's a single sentence link stuck on the left below "5 things to start your new day".
 
2013-07-22 07:26:28 AM  

TheJoe03: What kind of American actually cares about this whole thing? It reminds me of that Queen celebration a year or two ago that CNN was creaming themselves over, I just don't get it.


This.

Didn't we fight a couple of wars specifically so that we don't have to give a fark about English royalty?
 
2013-07-22 07:27:46 AM  

kevinatilusa: #1 story on BBC home page at the moment: China Earthquake.

Below it's the Dubai rape case, then below that's the Royal baby.

#1 story on CNN home page at the moment: "Royal Baby on the Way".  The Earthquake's a single sentence link stuck on the left below "5 things to start your new day".


This is waaaaay more relevant to American media interests than UK. NPR did a hilarious bit, I think it was "On the Media" where they went to London to gauge excitement, and most English were like "meh"...then they played clips of all our dumb morning and News outlets that were flipping the fark out.
 
2013-07-22 07:29:26 AM  

kevinatilusa: #1 story on BBC home page at the moment: China Earthquake.

Below it's the Dubai rape case, then below that's the Royal baby.

#1 story on CNN home page at the moment: "Royal Baby on the Way".  The Earthquake's a single sentence link stuck on the left below "5 things to start your new day".


The birth of royalty is a far more momentous occasion than the death of peasants.

It's always been true.
 
2013-07-22 07:31:58 AM  
I hope it is a girl. We need more queens.
 
2013-07-22 07:34:17 AM  

See You Next Tuesday: For 9 months? Babies gestate for nine months. I think you're full of s*** is what I think.


Firstly, Slaxl pointed out that he didn't know about the labour, not the whole pregnancy.  Not really sure why you went off on that particular tangent.  You're wrong anyway.  I agree fully with Slaxl on this.  Hello! and OK! readers will know about it, but beyond the severe morning-sickness and the slip about the sex of the baby, this pregnancy simply hasn't generated as much public interest as you seem to want it to have.  I didn't know she was in labour until I got to my office this morning - in Glasgow.  I didn't see it on any TV screens in Gatwick (showing BBC Breakfast - although I didn't watch for long, it still torpedoes your contention that it's everywhere), didn't hear it on the radio in the taxi on the way to the airport.  The  hammering of Australia in the Ashes 2nd Test came up more often - and rightly so.
 
2013-07-22 07:35:53 AM  
In other exciting news my niece was born two weeks ago and had the decency to not be late :D
 
2013-07-22 07:37:11 AM  
Although millions of people couldn't give the tiniest shait, I wish her and child well, and may their offspring be the last ever in the royal line of British monarchs.
 
2013-07-22 07:40:13 AM  

Mrs.Sharpier:
I secretly hope they name the baby George.


Approves:

3.bp.blogspot.com

/gonna be a girl
//why else to move heaven, earth, and Parliament?
//'/Diana''s gonna be in the mix
 
2013-07-22 07:41:05 AM  
if only she could have given birth in Detroit... $$$
 
2013-07-22 07:52:29 AM  
Does anyone honestly give a shiat about the British royal family? Do they pay advertising time for the constant American media coverage? Why do I turn on the news and not a day goes by where one of the top "stories" isn't Prince William taking a shiat? These people aren't even important in Britain, let alone here.
 
2013-07-22 07:53:21 AM  
Anyone for Henry IX?

The downside is that it will fark up the Herman's Hermits song, but you gotta break some eggs to make an omelet.
 
2013-07-22 07:55:43 AM  

OtherLittleGuy: Diana''s gonna be in the mix


At least 25% worth...
 
2013-07-22 07:56:18 AM  

mr lawson: AverageAmericanGuy: Oldiron_79: Jeebus I thought we fought 2 wars with those wankers to not have to give a shiat about thier royalty.

There's something ingrained deep down in our American psyche that makes us long for a king to rule over us.

It's why Bush was elected twice.

Kneel before me. I said...kneel! Is not this simpler? Is this not your natural state? It's the unspoken truth of humanity that you crave subjugation. The bright lure of freedom diminishes your life's joy in a mad scramble for power. For identity. You were made to be ruled. In the end, you will always kneel.

[images5.fanpop.com image 450x300]


God Damn it Hiddleston I'd knee for him any day.
 
2013-07-22 07:57:03 AM  

Slaxl: I love how you all love to proclaim loudest how you don't care. If it wasn't for Fark I wouldn't know about this and I'm English. You guys have a fetish for the royals. Half of you love them, the other half love to hate them. Otherwise you wouldn't be here.


Bullshiat. We complain because every media outlet in the country preempts coverage of real news stories to ram coverage of the British royal family down our throats every single day. You literally cannot get through Good Morning America without at least some 30 second mention of them. It was "When is William going to propose?" then "When is the wedding?" then "When will Kate get pregnant?" and now "When is the baby coming." It NEVER. FARKING. ENDS. I do not give a F*CK about these people and the media makes it impossible to avoid hearing about them without shunning all news coverage of everything.
 
2013-07-22 08:01:26 AM  

Tommy Moo: Slaxl: I love how you all love to proclaim loudest how you don't care. If it wasn't for Fark I wouldn't know about this and I'm English. You guys have a fetish for the royals. Half of you love them, the other half love to hate them. Otherwise you wouldn't be here.

Bullshiat. We complain because every media outlet in the country preempts coverage of real news stories to ram coverage of the British royal family down our throats every single day. You literally cannot get through Good Morning America without at least some 30 second mention of them. It was "When is William going to propose?" then "When is the wedding?" then "When will Kate get pregnant?" and now "When is the baby coming." It NEVER. FARKING. ENDS. I do not give a F*CK about these people and the media makes it impossible to avoid hearing about them without shunning all news coverage of everything.


STFU, Wolf Blitzer is about to start the Royal push by push coverage.. THIS IS SOOOOO EXCITING!
 
2013-07-22 08:01:54 AM  
How many more Red Coats do we have to kill to ensure we never have to hear about Royals ever again?
 
2013-07-22 08:03:52 AM  
i171.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-22 08:04:36 AM  

Tommy Moo: Slaxl: I love how you all love to proclaim loudest how you don't care. If it wasn't for Fark I wouldn't know about this and I'm English. You guys have a fetish for the royals. Half of you love them, the other half love to hate them. Otherwise you wouldn't be here.

Bullshiat. We complain because every media outlet in the country preempts coverage of real news stories to ram coverage of the British royal family down our throats every single day. You literally cannot get through Good Morning America without at least some 30 second mention of them. It was "When is William going to propose?" then "When is the wedding?" then "When will Kate get pregnant?" and now "When is the baby coming." It NEVER. FARKING. ENDS. I do not give a F*CK about these people and the media makes it impossible to avoid hearing about them without shunning all news coverage of everything.


You should move to the UK.

/seriously, add another Brit to the list of those who only found out because of Fark
 
2013-07-22 08:06:27 AM  

Mrs.Sharpier: I'm happy for them. I'm looking forward to the stats.

I'm guessing 7.9lbs 21inches (omg someone do the conversion!!)

I secretly hope they name the baby George.


They use inches and pounds there too
 
2013-07-22 08:07:25 AM  

panfried: Tommy Moo: Slaxl: I love how you all love to proclaim loudest how you don't care. If it wasn't for Fark I wouldn't know about this and I'm English. You guys have a fetish for the royals. Half of you love them, the other half love to hate them. Otherwise you wouldn't be here.

Bullshiat. We complain because every media outlet in the country preempts coverage of real news stories to ram coverage of the British royal family down our throats every single day. You literally cannot get through Good Morning America without at least some 30 second mention of them. It was "When is William going to propose?" then "When is the wedding?" then "When will Kate get pregnant?" and now "When is the baby coming." It NEVER. FARKING. ENDS. I do not give a F*CK about these people and the media makes it impossible to avoid hearing about them without shunning all news coverage of everything.

STFU, Wolf Blitzer is about to start the Royal push by push coverage.. THIS IS SOOOOO EXCITING!


HLN just had a note at the bottom of the screen informing me that Prince Charles would be the grandfather. This is some hard hitting news.
 
2013-07-22 08:08:54 AM  

Tommy Moo: Does anyone honestly give a shiat about the British royal family? Do they pay advertising time for the constant American media coverage? Why do I turn on the news and not a day goes by where one of the top "stories" isn't Prince William taking a shiat? These people aren't even important in Britain, let alone here.


I kinda am because since I got hired to work on this new project  where I have been researching the European royals and they have an interesting history. It's full of romance, intrigue, back stabbers and addicts. Queen Victoria the first had a fairy tale romance with Albert, then after Albert died she became a biatch to deal with. There was a prince who died of epilepsy and was isolated from the rest of the family as he got older.
 
2013-07-22 08:10:07 AM  
god damn it fark needs an edit button
 
2013-07-22 08:10:31 AM  

Tommy Moo: Slaxl: I love how you all love to proclaim loudest how you don't care. If it wasn't for Fark I wouldn't know about this and I'm English. You guys have a fetish for the royals. Half of you love them, the other half love to hate them. Otherwise you wouldn't be here.

Bullshiat. We complain because every media outlet in the country preempts coverage of real news stories to ram coverage of the British royal family down our throats every single day. You literally cannot get through Good Morning America without at least some 30 second mention of them. It was "When is William going to propose?" then "When is the wedding?" then "When will Kate get pregnant?" and now "When is the baby coming." It NEVER. FARKING. ENDS. I do not give a F*CK about these people and the media makes it impossible to avoid hearing about them without shunning all news coverage of everything.


This.

But you have to remember that those morning news shows are targeted at a specific demographic:  Housewives.  They are the only ones around to watch in the morning, because they don't have to go to work.  Housewives get drawn into that sort of thing because it plays to their childhood princess fantasies.  Same with the royal wedding.
 
2013-07-22 08:10:47 AM  
The royal bush is busting loose!
 
2013-07-22 08:11:33 AM  

See You Next Tuesday: You'd turn it off when I was halfway across: seriously, add another Brit to the list of those who only found out because of Fark have their head up their ass, or arse, depending.


Sorry, it's just not as terrifically important to us as it clearly is to you.
 
2013-07-22 08:11:37 AM  
Question:  WTF is the last name of the royal family?
 
2013-07-22 08:13:49 AM  

panfried: Question:  WTF is the last name of the royal family?


Von Pferd
 
2013-07-22 08:14:44 AM  
I had a dream last night that Kate gave birth and the Queen died on the same day.  The tabloids overdosed on 300-point bold block type.
 
2013-07-22 08:19:04 AM  

panfried: Question:  WTF is the last name of the royal family?


They changed it to Windsor in the 30s I think, but it's some awfully long German name. It's house of Windsor now at least.
 
2013-07-22 08:21:28 AM  

panfried: Question:  WTF is the last name of the royal family?


They can go with one of three:  Mountbatten-Windsor, Wales, or Cambridge for the baby.  Liz and Phil go by Mountbatten-Windsor.
 
2013-07-22 08:21:29 AM  

Yes this is dog: panfried: Question:  WTF is the last name of the royal family?

They changed it to Windsor in the 30s I think, but it's some awfully long German name. It's house of Windsor now at least.


Windsor-Mountbatten
 
2013-07-22 08:23:31 AM  

Yes this is dog: panfried: Question:  WTF is the last name of the royal family?

They changed it to Windsor in the 30s I think, but it's some awfully long German name. It's house of Windsor now at least.


Saxe-Coburg-Gotha. They changed it when WW1 rolled around.
 
2013-07-22 08:24:26 AM  
Don't care.
 
2013-07-22 08:29:19 AM  

4seasons85!: Am I the only one who thinks this woman should be aloud to have her baby in private without the public freaking out? They have been going on and on and on about her pregnancy for months now. I say let the poor woman give birth to her child in peace!


It's not like they have a camera up her cooter dear. In the old days people gathered around the bed and got invites to sit and watch a birth so they could be witnesses.
 
2013-07-22 08:37:39 AM  

Theory Of Null: Lachwen: <b><a href="http://www.fark.com/comments/7853228/85493644#c85493644" target="_blank">Uglybarnacle</a>:</b> <i>who the fark cares?</i>

Well, the entire United Kingdom, for a start...

Yeah, I suppose this like Kim Kardashian, Snooki  and Beyonce delivering all at the same time for them or something.


To quote my Welsh friend: "It's not bloody united!"  My guess is that a lot of people in Wales, Scotland, and especially Northern Ireland don't care.
 
2013-07-22 08:38:19 AM  
The other night I thought I'd check the CNN website to see if the royal birth had happened yet.  As it turned out the lead story was still about the poor woman who fell out of the roller coaster.  But for a microsecond my brain did a backflip as the first thing I saw was the big headline "SHE JUST FLEW OUT!".
 
2013-07-22 08:39:11 AM  
Yes this is dog:  Windsor

mactheknife:   Mountbatten-Windsor, Wales, or Cambridge for the baby.  Liz and Phil go by Mountbatten-Windsor.

FrancoFile:
Windsor-Mountbatten

Sir Cumference the Flatulent:
Saxe-Coburg-Gotha. They changed it when WW1 rolled around.

Thanks
 
2013-07-22 08:39:19 AM  
<a data-cke-saved-href="<a href=" href="<a href=" http:="" sharetv.org="" images="" night_court="" cast="" large="" christine_sullivan.jpg"="" target="_blank">sharetv.org
/too obscure?
 
2013-07-22 08:41:28 AM  

TheJoe03: What kind of American actually cares about this whole thing? It reminds me of that Queen celebration a year or two ago that CNN was creaming themselves over, I just don't get it.


I have co-workers who are Welsh, Australian, Dutch and German. Our office parties are legendary its full of great food, fantastic beer and the raunchiest jokes I ever heard.
 
2013-07-22 08:49:29 AM  

Type random string here: Theory Of Null: Lachwen: <b><a href="http://www.fark.com/comments/7853228/85493644#c85493644" target="_blank">Uglybarnacle</a>:</b> <i>who the fark cares?</i>

Well, the entire United Kingdom, for a start...

Yeah, I suppose this like Kim Kardashian, Snooki  and Beyonce delivering all at the same time for them or something.

To quote my Welsh friend: "It's not bloody united!"  My guess is that a lot of people in Wales, Scotland, and especially Northern Ireland don't care.


Actually Northern Ireland cares a great deal.  The majority of them really, really, really don't want to be part of the non-royal Republic of Ireland.

As for the Welsh, seriously?  The last independent Welsh principality was conquered approximately 600 years ago.  Are they still butthurt over that?  You don't see any "Restore the Hanseatic League" protests in Hamburg and Bremen, do you?
 
2013-07-22 08:51:23 AM  
TheJoe03: What kind of American actually cares about this whole thing? It reminds me of that Queen celebration a year or two ago that CNN was creaming themselves over, I just don't get it.

I have co-workers who are Welsh, Australian, Dutch and German. Our office parties are legendary its full of great food, fantastic beer and the raunchiest jokes I ever heard.
I have an interest because well it's gives us all an excuse to cut work early and go to some high end pub get a round of drinks make a dignified toast then get bloody farked up.
 
2013-07-22 08:53:39 AM  

panfried: Question:  WTF is the last name of the royal family?


.... of Ulm.
 
2013-07-22 08:56:32 AM  

OtherLittleGuy: panfried: Question:  WTF is the last name of the royal family?

.... of Ulm.


Germans, all of them.
 
2013-07-22 08:57:02 AM  
I'm detecting a lot of star-spangled butthurt in this thread.
I guess pwincess 'mewikuh can be quite the beeotch when she's not the centre of attention.
 
2013-07-22 09:02:17 AM  
i.imgur.com
The Miracle of Birth
 
2013-07-22 09:02:21 AM  

i78.photobucket.com

 
2013-07-22 09:08:39 AM  
omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg...
 
2013-07-22 09:14:15 AM  

See You Next Tuesday: For 9 months? Babies gestate for nine months. I think you're full of s*** is what I think.


Such anger. TheEnvoy is right, I only meant this particular "going into labour" thing, not the whole thing obviously. However for the last 9 months I have heard very little, less than I was expecting, to be honest. I was fearing what you've evidently had. 24/7 royal baby watch bollocks, but it never materialised, I am relieved. There'll inevitably be a circus for the birth and a few days after but then everything will be back to normal, it's no big deal.

Now you can resume flying off the handle and being inappropriately angry at innocuous comments on the internet. Appropriate handle, because you are a giant one.
 
2013-07-22 09:15:30 AM  

HotIgneous Intruder: OtherLittleGuy: panfried: Question:  WTF is the last name of the royal family?

.... of Ulm.

Germans, all of them.


Originally the house of Saxe Coburg - changed it to Windsor at the outbreak of WW1.
 
2013-07-22 09:15:52 AM  
I imagine everything is like the intro to The Lion King over there.
 
2013-07-22 09:16:17 AM  

iheartscotch: loveblondieo: I don't necessarily care for stuff like this, but I find myself a wee bit excited. Maybe if it's a girl, they could name her Diana or Diane.

I'm sure you ment to say something that rhymes with aiden...

/ I hear that's a very popular name these days...

// I'm still hoping for a baby that is obviously not white; for the luz


Super Gaiden Thunder Force...

great baby name!
 
2013-07-22 09:17:30 AM  
img.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-22 09:21:34 AM  
Ye royal snatch will never be the same.
 
2013-07-22 09:23:26 AM  

bobbette: I'd like to take this moment to observe how utterly bizarre it is that much of the anglosphere has fetishized every detail of the marriage and procreation of a couple of boring upper class English people whose major selling points are that they have a cute dog and the lady is reasonably attractive and buys nice hats.

It is preposterous that this infant will be Canada's head of state in about 60 years, and even more ridiculous that this event heralds the birth of a future head of a state church.  Can we just consider why, exactly, anyone thinks a theocratic monarchy should be the basis of any political system?  And is there anything, other than sheer lack of political will to address anything constitutional, that justifies Canada of all places continuing to support this remnant of colonialism?  It's hard to find another country that combines Canada's belligerent egalitarianism, disdain of anything elitist or stuck-up, navel-gazing obsession with national identity and citizenship, widespread atheism/apatheism, and multi-ethnic origins that strongly compete with any former sense of British cultural descent.  (You sort of have Australia, but Australia doesn't even have a third of the population speaking French.)  All these things together make Canada a really odd place to continue to promote a foreign monarchy.

The Yanks and the French figured this one out in the 1700s.  Time to join the 18th century, Canada!


25.media.tumblr.com
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-07-22 09:30:34 AM  

bobbette: I'd like to take this moment to observe how utterly bizarre it is that much of the anglosphere has fetishized every detail of the marriage and procreation of a couple of boring upper class English people whose major selling points are that they have a cute dog and the lady is reasonably attractive and buys nice hats.

It is preposterous that this infant will be Canada's head of state in about 60 years, and even more ridiculous that this event heralds the birth of a future head of a state church.  Can we just consider why, exactly, anyone thinks a theocratic monarchy should be the basis of any political system?  And is there anything, other than sheer lack of political will to address anything constitutional, that justifies Canada of all places continuing to support this remnant of colonialism?  It's hard to find another country that combines Canada's belligerent egalitarianism, disdain of anything elitist or stuck-up, navel-gazing obsession with national identity and citizenship, widespread atheism/apatheism, and multi-ethnic origins that strongly compete with any former sense of British cultural descent.  (You sort of have Australia, but Australia doesn't even have a third of the population speaking French.)  All these things together make Canada a really odd place to continue to promote a foreign monarchy.

The Yanks and the French figured this one out in the 1700s.  Time to join the 18th century, Canada!


Hey, at least you got your flag right.  If/when the Aussies and Kiwis drop the monarchy, are they going to redesign their flags to eliminate the mini-UK flag embedded in it?
 
2013-07-22 09:32:23 AM  
I'm entirely sure that if I still paid for cable there would be live up-to-the-minute commentary from outside Labor and Delivery.

But I'm a bad person because I believe that the cable industry should go fark itself.
 
2013-07-22 09:35:56 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: You can call her Her Royal Highness all you want, but at the end of the day, some guy with bad teeth is going to be shouting into her bloody, distended crotch.

Ah, the miracle of birth.


The miracle of birth is that, having been present for it, it ever happens a second time.

/oh dear, the IRA bombed the butcher's right when the banshee choir was buying liver!
 
2013-07-22 09:36:58 AM  
 
2013-07-22 09:39:28 AM  
I be they have AC in the Palaces.
 
2013-07-22 09:44:31 AM  
public.dcexp.com
 
2013-07-22 09:50:52 AM  
And there will be no other news worthwhile today. Great.

I was hoping that the East Cleveland Police would release a statement about the women found in the trash bags this weekend. I only gleaned a bit of info.

/yes, East Cleveland is technically a separate city from Cleveland
//twice the shiatholes at the cost of a directional
 
2013-07-22 09:53:44 AM  

OtherLittleGuy: Mrs.Sharpier:
I secretly hope they name the baby George.

Approves:

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 320x206]

/gonna be a girl
//why else to move heaven, earth, and Parliament?
//'/Diana''s gonna be in the mix


Britain's just finally doing what the majority of European countries with monarchies have already done, changed the law so that the firstborn inherits no matter what the sex.  In fifty years there'll be a lot of women on thrones in Europe--Ingrid Alexandra in Norway, Amalia in the Netherlands, Elisabeth in Belgium, Estelle in Sweden, and possibly the Cambridges' girl in England.  Denmark and Spain are about the only countries who are guaranteed to have kings for a while.
 
2013-07-22 09:58:11 AM  

See You Next Tuesday: The Envoy: this pregnancy simply hasn't generated as much public interest as you seem to want it to have

Oh for f***'s sake.  How many radiators does this maniac have in his basement?  Are there packs of them, each with a media-oblivious person who only gets their news on Fark (which, by the way, has had links to the pregnant figurehead all along)?


I'm terribly amused that the realities don't match up to your ignorant preconceived notions.  The resultant childish tantrum you're throwing is a bonus!
 
2013-07-22 10:04:20 AM  

Sir Cumference the Flatulent: Yes this is dog: panfried: Question:  WTF is the last name of the royal family?

They changed it to Windsor in the 30s I think, but it's some awfully long German name. It's house of Windsor now at least.

Saxe-Coburg-Gotha. They changed it when WW1 rolled around.


Surname isnot necessarily be required, as the new baby will have the title HRH Prince or Princess and will be referred to in this way. However, if Catherine and William want to include a surname, there are three choices available - Mountbatten-Windsor, Wales or Cambridge. In 1917 George V adopted Windsor - after the castle of the same name - as the "surname" of his family, changing it from Saxe-Coburg and Gotha as a result of anti-German feeling during World War I. The Queen and Prince Phillip combined their surnames to make Mountbatten-Windsor - their direct descendants can use this name but it isn't binding. In his military role, William uses the name of his royal house - Wales - which is taken from his father. Similarly Cambridge, the title given to the couple when they married, could be used.  - (I didn't write this, it's from the beeb - but still informative)
 
2013-07-22 10:14:07 AM  

FrancoFile:
Hey, at least you got your flag right.  If/when the Aussies and Kiwis drop the monarchy, are they going to redesign their flags to eliminate the mini-UK flag embedded in it?


Like Hawai'i did?

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-07-22 10:19:21 AM  
Didn't the British royals jump the shark back when Prince Charles debuted his ears???

And I know everyone's gonna hate me for saying this, but can you imagine if this turned into a royal version of a caturday thread, where everyone posted a pic of their 2 day old???
 
2013-07-22 10:23:56 AM  
British Open alert!
 
2013-07-22 10:27:04 AM  
My last patient who just had a beautiful newborn boy said she wants a silver medal that they are giving out to all British mums who spit the kitten today.
 
2013-07-22 10:29:13 AM  

HazMatt: [i.imgur.com image 480x360]
The Miracle of Birth


Ah, I see you got the machine that goes "BING!"
 
2013-07-22 10:29:23 AM  
A SECOND BABY HAS STRUCK THE SOUTH CERVIX!
 
2013-07-22 10:53:14 AM  

lohphat: FrancoFile:
Hey, at least you got your flag right.  If/when the Aussies and Kiwis drop the monarchy, are they going to redesign their flags to eliminate the mini-UK flag embedded in it?

Like Hawai'i did?

[upload.wikimedia.org image 850x425]


D'oh!  Forgot that one.
 
2013-07-22 10:55:33 AM  

deanayer: What if its a son and it looks like Trayvon?



Do you think Zimmerman wants a second shot at him???
 
2013-07-22 10:57:22 AM  

Sir Cumference the Flatulent: A SECOND BABY HAS STRUCK THE SOUTH CERVIX!


There was a man with a badge and hat on the gassy troll.
 
2013-07-22 10:58:02 AM  

serialsuicidebomber: deanayer: What if its a son and it looks like Trayvon?


Do you think Zimmerman wants a second shot at him???


Actually, Zimmermann probably wishes he hadn't sent that telegram.
 
2013-07-22 11:07:57 AM  

Fat Batman: Sir Cumference the Flatulent: Yes this is dog: panfried: Question:  WTF is the last name of the royal family?

They changed it to Windsor in the 30s I think, but it's some awfully long German name. It's house of Windsor now at least.

Saxe-Coburg-Gotha. They changed it when WW1 rolled around.

Surname isnot necessarily be required, as the new baby will have the title HRH Prince or Princess and will be referred to in this way. However, if Catherine and William want to include a surname, there are three choices available - Mountbatten-Windsor, Wales or Cambridge. In 1917 George V adopted Windsor - after the castle of the same name - as the "surname" of his family, changing it from Saxe-Coburg and Gotha as a result of anti-German feeling during World War I. The Queen and Prince Phillip combined their surnames to make Mountbatten-Windsor - their direct descendants can use this name but it isn't binding. In his military role, William uses the name of his royal house - Wales - which is taken from his father. Similarly Cambridge, the title given to the couple when they married, could be used.  - (I didn't write this, it's from the beeb - but still informative)


And to add to all of that (& what's come before), when Harry was over in Afghanistan flying his Apache around & blowing shiat up he went by "Captain Wales".

So the answer apparently is - whatever they want it to be at that particular point in time
 
2013-07-22 11:10:24 AM  

bobbette: Can we just consider why, exactly, anyone thinks a theocratic monarchy should be the basis of any political system?


The Royal Family provide a handy sink for power. If they weren't there you would have to give all that constitutional power to someone who could actually use it.
 
2013-07-22 11:11:47 AM  

Recoil Therapy: And to add to all of that (& what's come before), when Harry was over in Afghanistan flying his Apache around & blowing shiat up he went by "Captain Wales".


I thought the child went by their parents' name until they got a title of their own. Like how William has been Wales in the military due to Charles being Prince of Wales, but when he gets out he can be identified as Cambridge and his child will also be Cambridge. I think Catherine is technically still Middleton unless carrying out official duties, which I give her props for. Changing your name to your husband's isn't even necessary these days.
 
2013-07-22 11:20:29 AM  

bobbette: It is preposterous that this infant will be Canada's head of state in about 60 years, and even more ridiculous that this event heralds the birth of a future head of a state church.  Can we just consider why, exactly, anyone thinks a theocratic monarchy should be the basis of any political system?  And is there anything, other than sheer lack of political will to address anything constitutional, that justifies Canada of all places continuing to support this remnant of colonialism?  It's hard to find another country that combines Canada's belligerent egalitarianism, disdain of anything elitist or stuck-up, navel-gazing obsession with national identity and citizenship, widespread atheism/apatheism, and multi-ethnic origins that strongly compete with any former sense of British cultural descent.  (You sort of have Australia, but Australia doesn't even have a third of the population speaking French.)  All these things together make Canada a really odd place to continue to promote a foreign monarchy.


I don't know, I am Canadian, and I like the fact that we have a head of state who is entirely non-political. I mean sure the Queen doesn't really do anything here, but we have the Governor-General, and I like the fact that he can handle all of those bullshiat ceremonial time-wasters so that the people who are actually running the country don't. I mean we basically have a guy on the payroll who can do things like meet foreign dignitaries, or Olympians or boy scouts and give out things like awards for arts and community service. I mean look at how much time the US president wastes meeting with boy scouts or the super bowl champions or pardoning turkeys. Wouldn't people prefer that he spent time actually governing?

Plus I like the non-political aspect in that the GG can do all those thing without having to worry about how they will look to the voters or how it will affect his approval rating or that sort of thing. An elected president can't really do that.
 
2013-07-22 11:21:54 AM  
Here's to you royal lady what's her face.  The entire world now knows your beef curtains are being torn asunder.

s3.amazonaws.com
 
2013-07-22 11:29:44 AM  

Sir Cumference the Flatulent: Anyone for Henry IX?

The downside is that it will fark up the Herman's Hermits song, but you gotta break some eggs to make an omelet.


I'd be really surprised if they did, even though that would be amusing. Prince Harry's given name is Henry Charles Albert David
 
2013-07-22 11:31:57 AM  
In the words of St. Augustine, "inter faces et uriname nascimur."  That doesn't mean the first one is always the hardest, even though it is.  I wish them a happy, healthy child.
 
2013-07-22 12:06:00 PM  
andrewjpatrick.files.wordpress.com

/Don't care if it's already posted. I'm not reading this thread to find out.
 
2013-07-22 12:09:17 PM  
Honestly, what happens if the baby is born retarded or some other mental/physical defect? I wouldn't wish this on anyone, but I would think they put some plan in place for this, right?
 
2013-07-22 12:12:59 PM  

boyvoyeur: Honestly, what happens if the baby is born retarded or some other mental/physical defect? I wouldn't wish this on anyone, but I would think they put some plan in place for this, right?


Yes, the plan is "love it and raise it", much like most parents' plan.  I know that was my plan.  Do you mean succession plan?
 
2013-07-22 12:14:49 PM  

dittybopper: serialsuicidebomber: deanayer: What if its a son and it looks like Trayvon?


Do you think Zimmerman wants a second shot at him???

Actually, Zimmermann probably wishes he hadn't sent that telegram.


Zimmermann was the man who could have gotten that deal done. White so the Germans are cool with him, Hispanic so the Mexicans are on board.
 
2013-07-22 12:15:49 PM  

boyvoyeur: Honestly, what happens if the baby is born retarded or some other mental/physical defect? I wouldn't wish this on anyone, but I would think they put some plan in place for this, right?


They become King.
 
2013-07-22 12:16:43 PM  
America : "you, the world, gotta watch 24/7 footage of our boston bombing and school shootings.
The World: "okay you have to watch the royal baby coverage then"America " fark you we're Murica. We fought wars so we didnt have to watchyour poopy diaper spawn"The World "....."America " i'm bored, lets go arm Islamic mercenaries. "
 
2013-07-22 12:17:00 PM  

boyvoyeur: Honestly, what happens if the baby is born retarded or some other mental/physical defect? I wouldn't wish this on anyone, but I would think they put some plan in place for this, right?


Mental retardation hasn't been a barrier to the line of succession in European monarchies so far.

i.imgur.com
 
2013-07-22 12:19:27 PM  

ontariolightning: America : "you, the world, gotta watch 24/7 footage of our boston bombing and school shootings.
The World: "okay you have to watch the royal baby coverage then"America " fark you we're Murica. We fought wars so we didnt have to watchyour poopy diaper spawn"The World "....."America " i'm bored, lets go arm Islamic mercenaries. "


The "World" gives a shiat about the royal baby. News to me.
 
2013-07-22 12:23:29 PM  
www.topcoder.com

Darling, I love you very, very much.  You just had...a lizard.
 
2013-07-22 12:27:32 PM  

Sinister Urge: The news just reported that Princess Kate arrived at the hospital early this morning, "quietly entering through the back." Just think, if William had done that nine months ago we'd be talking about some real news right now.


New keyboard.
 
2013-07-22 01:12:16 PM  
Some strange chav handing out swords to your 15 greats grand pappy is not a basis for a political system.
 
2013-07-22 01:47:34 PM  

Target Builder: bobbette: Can we just consider why, exactly, anyone thinks a theocratic monarchy should be the basis of any political system?

The Royal Family provide a handy sink for power. If they weren't there you would have to give all that constitutional power to someone who could actually use it.


THIS -- Also it allows us to hate our government without getting all derpy that we are being unpatriotic or uncanadian.

Also -- Bobette: that word anglophone? I know you are using it to describe english speaking parts of the globe but what it really means is Imabigbutthurtfrenchy. 10:1 you go on and on about how the royals are a waste of money but you never bring up the fact that the "francosphere" cant manage a budget to save their lives and live off equalization payments from the west and Newfoundland.

They are figureheads and state sponsored celebrities -- I dont get the hype but i sure dont get the hate either. They keep the country out of politics and politics out of our statehood.

\\very few people realize that the president and the government have no real power at all and of these few only 6 know where ultimate political power is held...
 
2013-07-22 02:02:14 PM  
Does anyone else always read the word royalty as inbred.
 
2013-07-22 02:53:38 PM  

The Envoy: boyvoyeur: Honestly, what happens if the baby is born retarded or some other mental/physical defect? I wouldn't wish this on anyone, but I would think they put some plan in place for this, right?

Yes, the plan is "love it and raise it", much like most parents' plan.  I know that was my plan.  Do you mean succession plan?


They certainly have the money to provide the best care for any children they have (handicapped or not). The press has already stated this baby WILL BE the third in line to the throne. My question is if for some reason this child "can't" be a leader, what would it take to put the second born in the "third in line to the throne" position? I mean, what happens if this child becomes a drug addict/psychopath/murderer before Charles and William end their turn on the throne? When do they decide that maybe the very smart, pretty, athletic second born daughter of William and Kate should be the Queen instead of the first born child that was born with a host of physical/mental issues?

/not bashing the handicapped
//just questioning the reasoning behind the set line of progression
 
2013-07-22 03:01:47 PM  
www.gamefront.com

Standing by.
 
2013-07-22 03:07:26 PM  
www.8bitdad.com

Seemed appropriate. I unno...
 
2013-07-22 03:34:00 PM  
Keep Calm and PUSH!
 
2013-07-22 03:34:14 PM  
It's a boy!

/if anyone cares
 
2013-07-22 03:35:01 PM  
Am I the only one who wished she gave birth to a giant larva like in the The Fly 2?
 
2013-07-22 03:37:35 PM  
i1233.photobucket.com
What? No Labour Party jokes?
 
2013-07-22 03:39:36 PM  
Breaking news: It's a boy
 
2013-07-22 03:40:27 PM  
OK, Prince is coming out now.
 
2013-07-22 03:47:45 PM  
i.qkme.me
 
2013-07-22 03:49:56 PM  

Fisty Bum: OK, Prince is coming out now.


encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
 
2013-07-22 04:52:10 PM  
If this doesn't make people sick of the monarchy, what will? Another revolutionary war?
 
2013-07-22 06:05:52 PM  

boyvoyeur: They certainly have the money to provide the best care for any children they have (handicapped or not). The press has already stated this baby WILL BE the third in line to the throne. My question is if for some reason this child "can't" be a leader, what would it take to put the second born in the "third in line to the throne" position? I mean, what happens if this child becomes a drug addict/psychopath/murderer before Charles and William end their turn on the throne? When do they decide that maybe the very smart, pretty, athletic second born daughter of William and Kate should be the Queen instead of the first born child that was born with a host of physical/mental issues?


Ah, ok, so succession plan it is.  It's a good question, I actually have no idea, although I'd imagine that for set of circumstances as serious as you lay out then it should be a simple matter.  It might not be seeing as the rules that govern it are so archaic, but a work around (abdication?) probably exists for these occasions.
 
2013-07-22 07:27:32 PM  

boyvoyeur: Honestly, what happens if the baby is born retarded or some other mental/physical defect? I wouldn't wish this on anyone, but I would think they put some plan in place for this, right?


Historically, what happens in such events is that a regent to the throne is appointed (and historically, this has also happened in cases where the parents die young and the kid is just too damn young to handle the affairs of state by himself).  The UK actually does have a pretty good system in its constitutional monarchy that provides for regency (which has fortunately NOT had to be used very much since George III; George IV served as de facto regent for a good part of his father's reign, and the Regency Act passed during his last bout with severe illness pretty much are the basis for modern regency provisions for the Crown).

Basically, here's how things would go per the last Regency Act amendment (passed upon succession of Queen Elizabeth II of the Royal Spanner to the throne of the UK)--if the babby of Prince William is found to somehow be incompetent to rule (either through both Charles AND William dying off very young, the kid being found to be severely intellectually disabled/low functioning kid with ASD/severely mentally ill, car wreck where the heir ends up the Royal Rutabaga, etc.) then the regency to the throne will go to the next living person in the line of succession which is 21 years of age or older (a monarch in direct bloodline of succession can be formally crowned at age 18, but regency requires the regent to be age 21--this is by design).

If some unforeseen tragedy happened where (say) Queen Elizabeth II, Prince Phillip, Prince Charles and the Royal Steed, William, AND his wife were all wiped out in one fell swoop, the Presently Anonymous Prince would be technically king of the UK, with Prince Harry serving as Regent; if Harry and his wife got wiped out, Prince Andrew, Duke of  York would serve as Regent.  (There's actually a nice lineup of the present line of succession here which is used to determine who would serve as Regent in the case of a Baby King or a Legally Incompetent King.)

If (for example) the Presently Anonymous Prince were born with a severe enough disability that he would survive childhood but be incompetent to serve (and honestly, it would have to be something mental or intellectual; the Throne has had monarchs with physical disabilities on it in past, and physical disability would likely NOT be disqualifying; a severe developmental disability or severe mental illness, on the other hand, probably would and there is formal precedent for the latter in British primogeniture law) AFTER he reached adulthood...the Regent would (assuming the Regency Act was not amended to allow Kate to be Queen Regent in such an emergency) be the first person over 21 in line of succession, probably Prince Harry (assuming he doesn't party himself to death first, hehe), failing that, whomever is alive and in the line of succession and who is over 21.

(British law is surprisingly solid as far as regency law goes, even considering that there was at least one case (the Cromwell period) where after an act of regicide that a coup-planner had the rump Parliament declare him Regent under British regency law of the period (under the clause that Oliver Cromwell was acting as Regent under British law for none other than Jesus Christ; the Cromwell coup leaders actually expected Jesus to be coming back Any Day Now to capture the British throne after they'd properly turned the UK into an anti-Catholic theocracy).  Pretty much the British saw some of the mess that went on with royal houses in Europe (cough cough Hapsburgs cough ahem omfg Charles II's his own grandpa at least seven times over and can't be trusted to not shiat the Royal Ermines and you're letting him be king of Spain WTF cough ahem).
 
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