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(CBC)   "By the third time...I was like, you know, this is gratuitous. I do not need to see any more mayonnaise enemas for the rest of my lifetime"   (cbc.ca ) divider line
    More: Weird, Michelle Palansky, Ian Mozdzen, Fringe Festival  
•       •       •

13241 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Jul 2013 at 2:25 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



111 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-07-22 02:27:10 AM  
i like slick butts and i cannot lie
 
2013-07-22 02:27:26 AM  
Just lean back and think of England.
 
2013-07-22 02:27:42 AM  
To be fair, this year he didn't drink his own urine on stage, so there is that.
 
2013-07-22 02:27:47 AM  
Nope.

Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope.
 
2013-07-22 02:27:58 AM  
I was wondering what Tim and Eric were up to.
 
2013-07-22 02:29:11 AM  
This is what happens when kids idolize GG Allin.
 
2013-07-22 02:29:32 AM  
mollycoddlemusic.com
 
2013-07-22 02:30:15 AM  
"And as far as I know, everyone should know that live sex acts are not allowed on stage period."

So....necro-sex only.  Got it.
 
2013-07-22 02:32:42 AM  
*scans headline*


the-evan.com
 
2013-07-22 02:32:59 AM  
Guy in article is just a prune.

Prude, I meant prude
 
2013-07-22 02:35:36 AM  
For the kind of person who likes that sort of thing that must be just the sort of thing they like
 
2013-07-22 02:36:48 AM  
Ian Mozdzen and Doug Melnyk say the sex act in their show was simulated, but the enemas were real.

Well ok then.
 
2013-07-22 02:39:33 AM  
So that's what they call challenging the audience seems more like an extreme voyeriusm fantasy for the guys involved
 
2013-07-22 02:39:39 AM  
"By the third time...I was like, you know, this is gratuitous. I do not need to see any more mayonnaise enemas for the rest of my lifetime."

It took three enemas for you to think this? Three!?

And I would think that a mayonnaise enema would look something like the aftermath of a 10 on 1 anal creampie gangbang.
 
2013-07-22 02:40:42 AM  
You two pervs are goin' to Hell,man's. Not the Best Foods served there, I hear. Maybe your souls can be saved from eternal damnation, possibly by submitting to a Miracle Whip?
 
2013-07-22 02:41:09 AM  
This year's performance is about the life of an aging Hollywood starlet as performed by two nude men.
 
Errrrr........no.
 
2013-07-22 02:41:25 AM  
images3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-07-22 02:42:17 AM  
i1.ytimg.com
Barf.
 
2013-07-22 02:43:36 AM  
Modern Art.
 
2013-07-22 02:43:47 AM  
i763.photobucket.com
Uh, it might be best if you just let this one go... m'kay?
 
2013-07-22 02:46:50 AM  
I hesitate to ask...

Is there a legitimate purpose for a mayonaise enema? Or was mayonaise used simply for artistic effect?
 
2013-07-22 02:49:27 AM  
Shanna, they bought their tickets, they knew what they were getting into. I say, let 'em irrigate
 
2013-07-22 02:49:56 AM  
I don't think I even want to see those two words together in a sentence, let alone have to pay to watch it happen ...
 
2013-07-22 02:52:42 AM  
I heard if you use Miracle Whip instead you have hiccups for a week....
 
2013-07-22 02:53:01 AM  
Frankly one mayonnaise enema is too many.
 
2013-07-22 02:54:18 AM  

Cagey B: Frankly one mayonnaise enema is too many.


Just thinking of getting or giving someone a mayonnaise enema is going to far.
 
2013-07-22 02:54:28 AM  
Mayonaise enema... Is that what you whipper snappers are calling buttsecks these days?
 
2013-07-22 02:55:25 AM  
It could have been worse. They could have put mayonnaise on sandwiches.

I really hate mayonnaise on sandwiches.
 
2013-07-22 02:57:02 AM  

Oldiron_79: Mayonaise enema... Is that what you whipper snappers are calling buttsecks these days?


That's a hot icing injection, old-timer.
 
2013-07-22 02:57:43 AM  

Gordon Bennett: It could have been worse. They could have put mayonnaise on sandwiches.

I really hate mayonnaise on sandwiches.


Could have been even worse. They could have used the say mayonnaise
 
2013-07-22 02:57:51 AM  
Mayonnaise Enema is the name of my Carpenters cover band.
 
2013-07-22 02:58:02 AM  

Gordon Bennett: It could have been worse. They could have put mayonnaise on sandwiches.

I really hate mayonnaise on sandwiches.


Sometimes the servers at a restaurant squirt a little mayo on your sandwich, just saying.
 
2013-07-22 02:58:21 AM  
It's called the -fringe- festival. If you want kool-aid enemas, the more normal festival is next weekend.
 
2013-07-22 02:59:25 AM  

UsikFark: Oldiron_79: Mayonaise enema... Is that what you whipper snappers are calling buttsecks these days?

That's a hot icing injection, old-timer.


Well is a Rusty Venture still the same?
 
2013-07-22 02:59:27 AM  
This kind of weird shiat doesn't set back gay rights.  Not at all.
 
2013-07-22 03:01:23 AM  
24.media.tumblr.com

One of the performers in his younger years.

They told him it wasn't an instrument.
 
2013-07-22 03:04:42 AM  

bingethinker: Mayonnaise Enema is the name of my Carpenters cover band.



Well crap, that was what I was going to call my Heart cover band.
 
2013-07-22 03:06:02 AM  
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-07-22 03:10:58 AM  
I looked, I can not find any videos on my tubes site search engine for mayonnaise enema.  A website where I can see three women repeatedly c*nt kick another woman, where I can watch Annette Schwartz give herself a milk enema and then drink it right out with a fish tank hose, where I can watch slave training videos involving strangulation and electrocution does not carry any videos on mayonnaise enemas.
 
2013-07-22 03:11:27 AM  

maltedmothball: [mollycoddlemusic.com image 720x597]


se.
 
2013-07-22 03:17:48 AM  
FTA :  Mozdzen agrees, saying the show is intentionally fake. He adds that neither of them are interested in making any money from the performance.

The mayo-enemas and blow-jobs are their own reward.
 
2013-07-22 03:17:52 AM  

Old Man Winter: This kind of weird shiat doesn't set back gay rights.  Not at all.


Because straight people never, ever put things up their butt.
 
2013-07-22 03:19:24 AM  

invictus2: [images3.wikia.nocookie.net image 500x377]


they were rehearsing for a show at the community center
 
2013-07-22 03:21:29 AM  

Todd300: Old Man Winter: This kind of weird shiat doesn't set back gay rights.  Not at all.

Because straight people never, ever put things up their butt.


Straight are not trying to be treated equal, no one gives a shiat what they do now.
 
2013-07-22 03:40:10 AM  
ecx.images-amazon.com
 
2013-07-22 03:40:53 AM  
Damn it! I farked up the punchline!
 
2013-07-22 04:01:27 AM  
Artists say show meant to challenge audience

Challenging the audience for the sake of challenging the audience, is the shallowest form of art.

If there is nothing behind, that would make people think, then this is just sterile, and intellectual laziness.
 
2013-07-22 04:03:05 AM  
Santorumayonnaise.
 
2013-07-22 04:03:48 AM  
UMIA
 
2013-07-22 04:06:14 AM  

nburghmatt: invictus2: [images3.wikia.nocookie.net image 500x377]

they were rehearsing for a show at the community center


Why the hell was he dressed as Indianapolis Jones?
 
2013-07-22 04:06:16 AM  
I don't even need to see one the first time.
 
2013-07-22 04:32:14 AM  
Maybe he should try watching a different flavor like ketchup, mustard, relish or sauerkraut.
 
2013-07-22 04:41:32 AM  
Hero Tag?  Two guys not only engage in their kink they get you to pay to watch it
 
2013-07-22 04:42:33 AM  
Just a revival of the Royal Nonesuch. Nothing edgy or novel about it.

/hopefully not obscure
//no wimmin' allowed
///tar and feather 'em
////slashies
 
2013-07-22 04:44:10 AM  
Bring out the Hellman's and bring out the best!
 
2013-07-22 04:54:52 AM  

padraig: Artists say show meant to challenge audience

Challenging the audience for the sake of challenging the audience, is the shallowest form of art.

If there is nothing behind, that would make people think, then this is just sterile, and intellectual laziness.


Exactly.

Getting people to examine long held preconceptions that may not be right is one thing. But would appear this only confirms what people already know, which is that they are not interested in mayonnaise enemas.
 
Esn
2013-07-22 04:59:29 AM  
You know, this video really nails what modern art is.

The link is yet more proof.

Also, does anyone remember Documentation of Interior Semiotics? It involved spaghettios...
 
2013-07-22 05:03:39 AM  
They should have used those rubber wieners that shoot white goo like in futanaria vids.
 
2013-07-22 05:06:20 AM  

padraig: Artists say show meant to challenge audience

Challenging the audience for the sake of challenging the audience, is the shallowest form of art.

If there is nothing behind, that would make people think, then this is just sterile, and intellectual laziness.


I agree. Shocking the public is way too easy. All an artist or entertainer has to do is do something sexual or violent and he gets an easy reaction. I could think of enough ideas of things to do right now that would shock the public for centuries to come, but what's the point? Anyone can do this easily and then fall back on "pushing the boundaries". Pushing the envelope just for the sake of pushing the envelop has become really cliche and boring. It might be shocking or amusing if you're a teenager but no one is getting any real value out of it. You don't reach some higher level of thought or become enlightened just because you've seen different items inserted into an asshole.
 
2013-07-22 05:17:02 AM  

Superjoe: Maybe he should try watching a different flavor like ketchup, mustard, relish or sauerkraut.


shop.mamalils.com
 
2013-07-22 05:17:07 AM  

justoneznot: padraig: Artists say show meant to challenge audience

Challenging the audience for the sake of challenging the audience, is the shallowest form of art.

If there is nothing behind, that would make people think, then this is just sterile, and intellectual laziness.

I agree. Shocking the public is way too easy. All an artist or entertainer has to do is do something sexual or violent and he gets an easy reaction. I could think of enough ideas of things to do right now that would shock the public for centuries to come, but what's the point? Anyone can do this easily and then fall back on "pushing the boundaries". Pushing the envelope just for the sake of pushing the envelop has become really cliche and boring. It might be shocking or amusing if you're a teenager but no one is getting any real value out of it. You don't reach some higher level of thought or become enlightened just because you've seen different items inserted into an asshole.


We've got a saying in France : "les cons, ça ose tout. C'est d'ailleurs à ça qu'on les reconnait."
The word "con" is a word that would translate to "asshole jerk", and litteraly means "coont", so that would translate to something like "coonts would do anything. That's actually how you recognize them"
 
2013-07-22 05:22:14 AM  

Old Man Winter: This kind of weird shiat doesn't set back gay rights.  Not at all.


Gays have all the rights in Canada and are legally protected.  So, nothing to concern troll about here.

Besides, this has nothing to do with being gay and everything to do with attention whore enemabaggery.
 
2013-07-22 05:46:09 AM  
At least it wasn't miracle Whip.
s3.amazonaws.com
 
2013-07-22 05:47:48 AM  
What I don't get is that it seems as if the fellatio was more of an issue than the mayoenemas as per TFA.
 
2013-07-22 07:11:19 AM  
And the next performance was Sunday at noon. Who wants to see mayonnaise enemas that early on a Sunday?
 
2013-07-22 07:18:32 AM  

grinding_journalist: Ian Mozdzen and Doug Melnyk say the sex act in their show was simulated, but the enemas were real.

Well ok then.


I suppose it makes all the difference.
 
2013-07-22 07:26:04 AM  

grinding_journalist: Ian Mozdzen and Doug Melnyk say the sex act in their show was simulated, but the enemas were real.

Well ok then.


I have the feeling that it's not simulated in "rehersal"
 
2013-07-22 07:44:34 AM  
I would have been okay, going to my grave, not knowing there was such a thing.
 
2013-07-22 07:48:13 AM  
Dude, the eighties called, and they want their ideas about what's "edgy" back.
 
2013-07-22 07:55:27 AM  
I think I've seen porn of this.  But with two chicks.  It's always better with two chicks.
 
2013-07-22 08:02:19 AM  

nburghmatt: invictus2: [images3.wikia.nocookie.net image 500x377]

they were rehearsing for a show at the Blandford community center


FTFM

I've been to Fringe festivals, I've even been in Fringe play - no mayonaise was involved.

/Arseholes
 
2013-07-22 08:31:37 AM  
"Hey Honey, we can get seats right up in front!"

Were there plastic sheets available like Gallagher shows?
 
2013-07-22 08:39:44 AM  
If Katharina Wagner gets to hear of this, they'll be at next year's Bayreuth Festival.
 
2013-07-22 08:39:45 AM  
I love how everything was kosher until fellatio was performed, like everything up to that point was perfectly normal but the minute you start sucking a dick then its horrible and needs police intervention.
 
2013-07-22 08:41:53 AM  

IdBeCrazyIf: I love how everything was kosher until fellatio was performed, like everything up to that point was perfectly normal but the minute you start sucking a dick then its horrible and needs police intervention.


Seriously. That's the least offensive part of the whole show.
 
2013-07-22 09:23:30 AM  
The enema technique was first perfected at The Mayo Clinic...
 
2013-07-22 09:29:56 AM  
I have absolutely NO desire to ever see anything these guys perfom, but I was chuckling through the entire article imaging the people sitting in the crowd not wanting to be the first to leave, lest they be viewed as prudes, or just 'not getting it'. I wonder if everyone would have gotten up after the FIRST mayonaise enema if they weren't so worried about what everyone else would have thought?
 
2013-07-22 09:37:08 AM  
Hell, man, this is nasty.
 
2013-07-22 09:52:24 AM  

God-is-a-Taco: Modern Art.


Yep, I think you nailed it.

"Imagination without skill gives us modern art" Tom Stoppard
 
2013-07-22 09:58:57 AM  
So what do you call this act?
 
2013-07-22 10:09:51 AM  
The show was a huge hit in Chile, however.
 
2013-07-22 10:20:52 AM  
What the hell? A couple of seconds? You can't just suck it for a couple of seconds. That's just mean.
 
2013-07-22 10:25:49 AM  

bishopicon: And the next performance was Sunday at noon. Who wants to see mayonnaise enemas that early on a Sunday?


Well, there's an obvious answer for that, so I won't get into it.
 
2013-07-22 10:34:42 AM  
Sickos they could have just used pudding like us normal folks!
 
2013-07-22 10:59:35 AM  
"If think if you make art according to what people want you're a shoemaker," Melnyk told CBC News Saturday. "You're trying to figure out what people want and you make it for them. That's not art."
Obviously museums across the world are full of 'shoemaker' efforts by craftsman like Rembrandt, Renior, and da Vinci who did portraits and accepted commissions to do work. The museums and the artists clearly lacked any perception of real art. What a waste! Instead of cobbling together such useless inartistic efforts they could have been stuffing tubes full of condiments up their butts and done something immortal.
 
2013-07-22 11:08:50 AM  
Well Mission Accomplished for being the wackiest show on the Fringe Festival.  I'm sure someone else will one up it next year...

/Winnipeg still sucks, lived there 12 years and finally glad to be out of that shiathole.
 
2013-07-22 11:18:43 AM  

DreamSnipers: "If think if you make art according to what people want you're a shoemaker," Melnyk told CBC News Saturday. "You're trying to figure out what people want and you make it for them. That's not art."
Obviously museums across the world are full of 'shoemaker' efforts by craftsman like Rembrandt, Renior, and da Vinci who did portraits and accepted commissions to do work. The museums and the artists clearly lacked any perception of real art. What a waste! Instead of cobbling together such useless inartistic efforts they could have been stuffing tubes full of condiments up their butts and done something immortal.


What, you think the Old Masters used brushes? They mixed paint in their butts, and painted using brushes made from their own pubic hair, to make a statement. It's a sad state of affairs that all we remember from their incredible performances are a few Bob Ross-esque residues on canvas.
 
2013-07-22 11:53:30 AM  
Things that are art:

-paintings
-sculptures
-poems
-plays
etc

Things that are not art:
-mayonnaise enemas

That's just nasty.  Seriously how farked up do you have to be to sit down and think... "You know what would be great in this show?  Stuffing a tube up my ass and firing mayo up there then shiatting it out in front of people!  Oh and I'll suck a dick too!  Yeah that's ART BABY!"
 
2013-07-22 11:54:33 AM  

Nurglitch: What, you think the Old Masters used brushes? They mixed paint in their butts, and painted using brushes made from their own pubic hair, to make a statement. It's a sad state of affairs that all we remember from their incredible performances are a few Bob Ross-esque residues on canvas.


Great, now I have a vision of Bob Ross telling us we're going to paint happy little tress....then dropping trow and farting
 
2013-07-22 12:13:27 PM  

brimed03: Just a revival of the Royal Nonesuch. Nothing edgy or novel about it.

/hopefully not obscure
//no wimmin' allowed
///tar and feather 'em
////slashies


Made funnier due to the popular tourist attraction in Winnipeg - The Royal Navy Ketch The HMS Nonsuch - hmmmm they even have a Fringe Festival venue in the museum where the Nonsuch is.

/When Huckleberry Finn becomes obscure, we have all lost.
 
2013-07-22 12:25:41 PM  

sharphead: Well Mission Accomplished for being the wackiest show on the Fringe Festival.  I'm sure someone else will one up it next year...

/Winnipeg still sucks, lived there 12 years and finally glad to be out of that shiathole.


It became a great place once the rabble left. Though to be fair there were 12 years in a row that sucked before that.
 
2013-07-22 12:25:54 PM  

booger42: nburghmatt: invictus2: [images3.wikia.nocookie.net image 500x377]

they were rehearsing for a show at the Blandford community center

FTFM

I've been to Fringe festivals, I've even been in Fringe play - no mayonaise was involved.

/Arseholes



So what did you use for your enemas?
 
2013-07-22 12:45:58 PM  

John the Magnificent: booger42: nburghmatt: invictus2: [images3.wikia.nocookie.net image 500x377]

they were rehearsing for a show at the Blandford community center

FTFM

I've been to Fringe festivals, I've even been in Fringe play - no mayonaise was involved.

/Arseholes


So what did you use for your enemas?


Maple Syrup, but only one enema.
 
2013-07-22 12:58:21 PM  
Eating a McChicken Sandwhich with extra sauce and a pint of Labatt Blue is pretty much a guarenteed mayo enema. You will drop 8 to 9 pounds in 10 to 25 seconds of screaming shaitty hell, leaving you cold, shaking and feeling violated on a level no human being should ever feel.
 
2013-07-22 01:01:29 PM  

shifter_: Eating a McChicken Sandwhich with extra sauce and a pint of Labatt Blue is pretty much a guarenteed mayo enema. You will drop 8 to 9 pounds in 10 to 25 seconds of screaming shaitty hell, leaving you cold, shaking and feeling violated on a level no human being should ever feel.


What kind of idiot would drink a labatt blue?
 
2013-07-22 01:12:53 PM  
...okay, fine, just one more though.
 
2013-07-22 01:33:57 PM  

Representative of the unwashed masses: shifter_: Eating a McChicken Sandwhich with extra sauce and a pint of Labatt Blue is pretty much a guarenteed mayo enema. You will drop 8 to 9 pounds in 10 to 25 seconds of screaming shaitty hell, leaving you cold, shaking and feeling violated on a level no human being should ever feel.

What kind of idiot would drink a labatt blue?


Was all we had left in the morning..... *shrug*
 
2013-07-22 01:59:48 PM  

dmarlar: So that's what they call challenging the audience seems more like an extreme voyeriusm fantasy for the guys involved


What is it with "artists" who think it's worthwhile to challenge their audience for the sake of challenging them? If you insist on my attention that forcefully, you'd better have something worthwhile to say. If not, you're just a six-year-old yelling bad words to get attention.
 
2013-07-22 02:40:22 PM  
Winnipeg: Canada's Florida.
 
2013-07-22 03:05:32 PM  
Someone should tell these two that The Aristocrats is a joke, not a how-to guide.
 
2013-07-22 04:07:48 PM  
That's almost like Ranch Dressing on a tossed salad
 
2013-07-22 04:12:05 PM  
Do they do it Gallagher style?  Do people bring raincoats?
 
2013-07-22 04:14:30 PM  

Brick-House: That's almost like Ranch Dressing on a tossed salad


FTW!

Ding! Ding! Ding!
 
2013-07-22 05:18:03 PM  
I believe a mayonnaise enema is one of the few things I haven't seen...


/some things cannot be unseen
 
2013-07-22 05:25:17 PM  
Seems like a pervier version of The Dude's landlord.

I can't think of any dramatic personal insights obtained by watching a mayo enema.  Except maybe "I never want a mayo enema."  I never actually conceived of the idea, but now I know.  So, I guess, mission accomplished.  They increased my self awareness.  No mayo enemas for me.
 
2013-07-22 05:56:25 PM  
Miracle Whip. Eugh. That stuff is the Devil's spunk.
 
2013-07-22 07:46:28 PM  

Mikey1969: I have absolutely NO desire to ever see anything these guys perfom, but I was chuckling through the entire article imaging the people sitting in the crowd not wanting to be the first to leave, lest they be viewed as prudes, or just 'not getting it'. I wonder if everyone would have gotten up after the FIRST mayonaise enema if they weren't so worried about what everyone else would have thought?


www.usborne.com
 
2013-07-22 10:14:40 PM  
Not edgy unless they made their own mayo live onstage.

/Not intended as a euphemism
 
2013-07-23 01:04:57 AM  
There's not much gayer than a dude sucking a dick, but one giving another an enema for pleasure easily wins.
 
2013-07-23 08:08:39 AM  

shifter_: Eating a McChicken Sandwhich with extra sauce and a pint of Labatt Blue is pretty much a guarenteed mayo enema. You will drop 8 to 9 pounds in 10 to 25 seconds of screaming shaitty hell, leaving you cold, shaking and feeling violated on a level no human being should ever feel.


2nd worst Fringe Play evar
 
2013-07-23 12:51:36 PM  
hope it won't be showing in our fringe fest!
Honestly, if that's what you think will entertain people..
there are some problems that need to be addressed
ASAP
 
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