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(Daily Mail)   You really don't want macaque in your face   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 57
    More: Scary, Madhya Pradesh, Indians, Great Barrier Reef, Tamil Nadu  
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8216 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Jul 2013 at 10:13 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



57 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-07-21 08:31:08 PM  
Large parts of India are plagued by monkeys who steal food, mug people and break into homes.

*scratches India off of list of fun places to visit*

/Plus 1 for headline. Chortled audibly.
 
2013-07-21 08:43:53 PM  

quatchi: Large parts of India are plagued by monkeys who steal food, mug people and break into homes.


Nothing that can't be fixed with a slingshot and some 1/4" ball bearings.
 
2013-07-21 10:15:47 PM  
Large parts of India are plagued by monkeys who steal food, mug people and break into homes.

I'll just let you other horrible bastards come up with a horribly racist joke for that sentence.
 
2013-07-21 10:15:59 PM  
I'm surprised this kid had to go to the zoo to be attacked by a monkey. They're like squirrels in India.
 
2013-07-21 10:16:32 PM  
Be careful or it'll poke your eye out!
 
2013-07-21 10:16:58 PM  
I've heard of a Big Macaque Attack, but there it is...
 
2013-07-21 10:20:09 PM  
Would anyone know if you did, subby?
 
2013-07-21 10:21:41 PM  
The little bastard taunted the dynamite monkey
 
2013-07-21 10:21:54 PM  
We seem to be experiencing a spate of quality headlines tonight.
 
2013-07-21 10:22:30 PM  
"I'll swallow your soul!"

i.dailymail.co.uk

/Come get some.
 
2013-07-21 10:22:30 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org

True that.
 
2013-07-21 10:22:34 PM  
Large parts of Indiana are plagued by monkeys who steal food, mug people and break into homes.
 
2013-07-21 10:24:59 PM  
Oh ...  hahahah...  maybe I will read the article now.
 
2013-07-21 10:26:16 PM  
You're right, Subby. I farking HATE gnats. They're farking everywhere, especially when I go running by tennis courts. I probably inhale like a heard of them on a good day. And FFS god forbid I want to make banana bread with them flying around the ripe bananas. Un-farking-sanitary.

But wtf does your penis have to do with the monkey in TFA?
 
2013-07-21 10:26:22 PM  

Mr Rogers is aroused: LordJiro: Large parts of India are plagued by monkeys who steal food, mug people and break into homes.

I'll just let you other horrible bastards come up with a horribly racist joke for that sentence.

but you just did.  I wasn't thinking native indian = monkey until you came along.  You horrible racist bastard.


Oh, I knew I was a horrible bastard just by thinking it. And yes, I am deeply ashamed of it.

/I blame my time on 4chan.
 
2013-07-21 10:29:35 PM  

quatchi: Large parts of India are plagued by monkeys who steal food, mug people and break into homes.

*scratches India off of list of fun places to visit*

/Plus 1 for headline. Chortled audibly.


Plus they are now known for that raping you and throwing you off a bus or while your camping or just because thing now......
 
2013-07-21 10:29:47 PM  
Wanted for questioning:

i40.tinypic.com
 
2013-07-21 10:30:25 PM  
I feel sorry for the kid. Macaque has a mind of it's own.
 
2013-07-21 10:31:40 PM  

quatchi: Large parts of India are plagued by monkeys who steal food, mug people and break into homes.

*scratches India off of list of fun places to visit*

/Plus 1 for headline. Chortled audibly.


If you're worried about monkeys, I'd recommend visiting Utah, or Aspen, nothing but crackers.
 
2013-07-21 10:34:26 PM  
Macaque goes where?!
 
2013-07-21 10:36:25 PM  
What Macaque in your face might look like:

i41.tinypic.com

Momma was getting pissed at me taking pictures of her babies.
 
2013-07-21 10:39:51 PM  
img.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-21 10:39:53 PM  

the_rhino: quatchi: Large parts of India are plagued by monkeys who steal food, mug people and break into homes.

*scratches India off of list of fun places to visit*

/Plus 1 for headline. Chortled audibly.

If you're worried about monkeys, I'd recommend visiting Utah, or Aspen, nothing but crackers.



Who are, in fact, more "advanced" monkeys. I think the story should be that population to population relative, these less "advanced" monkeys manage to do it  less.

Whose so "smart" now, sapiens?!
 
2013-07-21 10:42:46 PM  
Darling, don't you monkey with the monkey

/Monkey, monkey, monkey
 
2013-07-21 10:43:43 PM  
Like a spider monkey, Chip!
 
2013-07-21 10:45:15 PM  
I want to find the monkey kings stash! Just think of all the shiny stuff those little farkers have stolen...where do they hide it all???!!! There has to be a fat Buddhist somewhere laughing his ass off because he has trained the monkeys and in turn they train others who bring him the loot.
 
2013-07-21 10:47:40 PM  
It was just acknowledging the next Hanuman.
 
2013-07-21 10:47:58 PM  
Kill it. Eat it.
You don't ever mess with my kid again, monkey.
 
2013-07-21 11:14:03 PM  
Should have just thrown it in the sea, and watched it bounce off the rocks.
 
2013-07-21 11:15:03 PM  

3rdtimearound: Should have just thrown it in the sea, and watched it bounce off the rocks.


Weeeeeee!
 
2013-07-21 11:20:19 PM  

maxheck: What Macaque in your face might look like:

[i41.tinypic.com image 800x600]

Momma was getting pissed at me taking pictures of her babies.


That monkey is saying "Imma eat yo face, hoomin!".
 
2013-07-21 11:22:33 PM  
Thanks a lot, Hanuman; you ass!!
 
2013-07-21 11:25:20 PM  
Meh, third world problems.
 
2013-07-21 11:30:25 PM  
lh6.googleusercontent.com
 
2013-07-21 11:35:16 PM  
lh4.ggpht.com
 
2013-07-21 11:38:05 PM  
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HtYAsja1aY4

What a java macaque eating your face would look like first person.

/yes they are tame and amazing
 
2013-07-21 11:53:32 PM  
RIP Macarena
You were fun because I didn't understand anything I was saying
 
2013-07-21 11:54:34 PM  
The trainer, the guy in the yellow striped shirt, doesn't seem like he's too concerned about the attack.
 
2013-07-21 11:57:57 PM  

quatchi: Large parts of India are plagued by monkeys who steal food, mug people and break into homes.

*scratches India off of list of fun places to visit*

/Plus 1 for headline. Chortled audibly.


You had India has a fun place to visit? Just recently, I had talk witth a guy that had just come back from there after a 10 visit. His nephe had married an Indian woman. Her family wanted an Indian ceromony in India. While he said he was glad he went. He said dong it without a fully guided an planned out trip by a reputable guided tour company would be like wishing for suicide every day you woke up. They needed armed surcuity every place they went. They only went to places that were deemed safe for tourist. They never ventured beyond areas that weren't guarded from hordes of filth.
 
2013-07-22 12:05:24 AM  
My wife just flew in from India and boy is her ass tired.
 
2013-07-22 12:09:36 AM  
KimNorth:

I want to find the monkey kings stash! Just think of all the shiny stuff those little farkers have stolen...where do they hide it all???!!! There has to be a fat Buddhist somewhere laughing his ass off because he has trained the monkeys and in turn they train others who bring him the loot.

CS,B:

I witnessed this two days in a row so I'm pretty sure this was a daily ritual for this monkey, but at a lodge in Asia this monkey would show up at 7:00am on the dot, push open the double doors, run down the hall and open the door to the dining room, grab a roll from the buffet, and run back out again to the half-hearted yells from the staff. He was so businesslike about the whole thing, the only thing that could have made it better would be if he tucked a newspaper under his arm on his daily commute to monkey business.
 
2013-07-22 12:40:02 AM  
"The boy - named locally as Raghav - "

Does he have other names he uses in different parts?  Is he some sort of criminal with a different alias in every town?
 
2013-07-22 12:41:40 AM  

Saluki222: "The boy - named locally as Raghav - "

Does he have other names he uses in different parts?  Is he some sort of criminal with a different alias in every town?


You don't want to know what they called him in America.
 
2013-07-22 12:46:28 AM  

Jacob_Roberson: RIP Macarena
You were fun because I didn't understand anything I was saying


i291.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-22 01:02:12 AM  
God, I hate monkeys. I don't know why. I draw them all the time in little comic sketches, so everyone thinks I LOVE them. Honestly, I have hated them passionately for most of my life. If that were my boy, I would have grabbed that farker by the neck and cranked it till it snapped. That would be the best and the worst day of my life.They just are completely farking annoying and I HOPE they rot in some monkey hell when they die.I saw a video of beavers eating a monkey to death in a zoo once. Makes me want to get a guardian beaver.

The big apes are OK, except chimps. I bloody hate chimps. If I could shoot a chimp for $500 I would do it once a week. Little farkers.

Okay, taking a deep breath, in.... out.... in.... out.... Whew
 
2013-07-22 01:08:09 AM  

otto the bull: Large parts of Indiana are plagued by monkeys who steal food, mug people and break into homes.


fark that! I used to live there. If I had seen one, I mean just ONE, there would be a county-wide hunt to kill the little farker!

Plus, most native residents of Indiana are on meth, so they have special monkey abilities anyway. At least they like to think so.
 
2013-07-22 02:37:41 AM  
That's what she said!

/ wait a sec...
 
2013-07-22 03:28:05 AM  
Macaque is in the news again.
 
2013-07-22 04:59:38 AM  
just came for the abundant lulz.
 
2013-07-22 05:22:01 AM  
encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
 
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