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(Daily Mail)   TSA has determined current airport screening equipment does not meet current threat to agents of insufficient arousal, need us to take off our underwear for them now   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 140
    More: Stupid, TSA, underwear bomber, John Pistole, Arabian Peninsula, TSA chief, AQAP, ASIRI, al-Qaeda  
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18525 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Jul 2013 at 5:00 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



140 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-07-20 10:09:48 PM
Instead of damaging the plane, the bomb instead severely burned the would-be terrorist's groin,

[grumpycatgood]
 
2013-07-20 10:25:29 PM
New song playing throughout airports in the US:

Everybody take off your underwear
And swing it round like you just don't care
 
2013-07-20 11:44:46 PM
caulk ... plain old caulk from home depot is the "secret" new ingredient?
I wonder if they prefer thick black caulk, thin yellow caulk, or your average white caulk.
 
2013-07-21 12:18:54 AM
I was taking a lot of unnecessary flights before, just for the free groping. But now you're never going to get me to leave the airport.
 
2013-07-21 12:37:29 AM
Rich people problems.
 
2013-07-21 12:57:08 AM
images.wikia.com
 
2013-07-21 05:02:48 AM
The TSA didn't stop the underwear bomber, caulk or no cock.
 
2013-07-21 05:05:58 AM

Godscrack: Rich people problems.


True.  When I can't afford to fly overseas, I swim.
/Just don't fall into the Jusenkyo Springs.
 
2013-07-21 05:11:42 AM
I will be concerned when al-Queda develops a working butt plug bomb.

www.therevcounter.co.uk
 
2013-07-21 05:11:54 AM
And the passengers on any inbound aircraft who see somebody trying to inject himself in the groin with a needle will deal with the problem.
/The shoe bomber and underoo bomber were on inbound international flights.
//Google "airplane passengers subdue" and "TSA theft" to see why the TSA should be disbanded with extreme prejudice.
 
2013-07-21 05:17:49 AM
I thought that baked Oregon dude already tested the waters with full exposure TSA interactions and they were all vomity and pissed their pants?
I'm happy to let them check my taint and anal cavity for explosives, saves me doing it, I'm a busy man.
But if they make me strip my rayon off it ain't not going back on, I'm flying naked and everyone but everyone on that plane better like it.
 
2013-07-21 05:18:55 AM
You know, I used to think the whole "well I'm fed up with this whole flying thing, I'll just drive" declaration from random people was a bunch of derp, but this last year has really changed my mind on that.  It's not just the TSA garbage, although that doesn't help.  No the real big problem are ticket prices.  It used to be that for a hundred and change I could get up to my friend in Spokane from the Reno area.  Now they want something like $300 depending on the time.  It's literally cheaper for me to spend 14 hours on the road, and I drive an SUV (which admittedly gets 18-21 mpg, but still).

This year was the first year I did the drive up to Spokane rather than flying, and I don't think I'll be flying there again.  Yeah it's a long-ass time on the road and I miss out on getting absolutely trashed on the plane (and I'm a quiet drunk, thank you), but I can pack however much crap I want, eat whatever I want mid-trip, stop if I feel like it, and when I get up there I have my own car.  The TSA talking about having to check passenger underwear just tells me that I may want to extend the range I'm willing to drive a bit more.
 
2013-07-21 05:27:06 AM

Matthew Keene: I will be concerned when al-Queda develops a working butt plug bomb.

[www.therevcounter.co.uk image 300x300]


It would take a rather large amount of explosives - at least larger than what your average strictly religious extremist is capable of holding in their ass - to overcome the body's ability to "shape" the charge.  Instead of blowing out a sidewall on the plane you'd get a two-ended Roman Candle made of shiat and blood.  Oh sure, it'd probably injure or kill some people, but it wouldn't take down the plane.

I suppose they could just... uhm... extract it in the lavatory, but that's assuming they don't pass out.  Plus what kind of airline do you have to be flying on for a passenger to not notice the sweaty brown dude with blood streaming from his trousers mashing a lump of what looks like feces into a corner of the plane?

/RyanAir
 
2013-07-21 05:31:03 AM
In other news, there's still nothing to stop someone blowing up the crowd standing outside the TSA checkpoint and killing at least as many people as if they had downed a plane.
 
2013-07-21 05:31:04 AM
Matthew Keene:

[www.therevcounter.co.uk image 300x300]

Go ... on ...
 
2013-07-21 05:31:39 AM
Yeah, we get it.  Al Qaeda likes caulk in their underwear.

And the TSA and Daily Fail suck.

Are there any reputable sources discussing this?
 
2013-07-21 05:32:30 AM
So they want more money to waste, we get it.
 
2013-07-21 05:37:01 AM
"Mr. Murphy you're being arrested for taking off your underwear in an airport."

"Mr. Murphy you're being arrested for not taking off your underwear in an airport"


I wish these people would just get their story straight.
 
2013-07-21 05:45:37 AM

dillenger69: caulk ... plain old caulk from home depot is the "secret" new ingredient?
I wonder if they prefer thick black caulk, thin yellow caulk, or your average white caulk.


You do have to question the intelligence of him for mentioning that little tidbit... "Oh yeah, and apparently ordinary household caulk you can buy at Home Depot for like $3 makes it so our bomb dogs can't detect it!"

www.atypicallyrelevant.com
 
2013-07-21 05:46:42 AM
I guess those of us who prefer the freedom that only going commando brings will be ok then.

/Hasn't worn underwear in 15 years.
 
2013-07-21 05:55:55 AM
You dropped a bomb on me... baby.
 
2013-07-21 06:17:51 AM
So, x-ray machines that allowed a TSA agent at a monitor to see us naked wasn't enough.  Now we face the very real possibility of being stripped searched in the airport before boarding the plane.  Guessing the chance of you being stripped search is going to be dependent on your hotness.  Thankfully, my wife and I aren't really that attractive, so we probably won't get strip searched.

The biggest problem with Homeland Security and the TSA is evident in this article.  They only change things in response to what they've learned.  Learn of a new potential terrorist trick that's already being used, we change.  If the TSA and Homeland Security wanted to be effective, they would be proactive.  Look for where their security is lacking and move into that direction,instead of the reactive approach that has been happening.  As I see it, the biggest problem is that the law abiding passengers are not allowed any form of weapon.  The shoe bomber was stopped not by the TSA or any government agent but by civilian passengers.  We should be looking at this as not stopping anyone from carrying knives onto a plane.  Yeah, the 9-11 hijackers took those planes with box cutters, so if we allowed every passenger who wanted to carry a knife a knife, even if the terrorists had knives, the civilian passengers together would out number the terrorists.  The potential for bombs and blowing up the plane wouldn't be an issue given that from the events of 9-11 we learned that even if someone gets their way and hijacks a plane mid flight, safety is still not guaranteed.
 
2013-07-21 06:19:35 AM
Iczer: You do have to question the intelligence of him for mentioning that little tidbit... "Oh yeah, and apparently ordinary household caulk you can buy at Home Depot for like $3 makes it so our bomb dogs can't detect it!"

So, who would I contact at that retarded agency to suggest maybe they should have some caulk-sniffing dogs on hand?
 
2013-07-21 06:25:01 AM

Great Janitor: So, x-ray machines that allowed a TSA agent at a monitor to see us naked wasn't enough.  Now we face the very real possibility of being stripped searched in the airport before boarding the plane.  Guessing the chance of you being stripped search is going to be dependent on your hotness.  Thankfully, my wife and I aren't really that attractive, so we probably won't get strip searched.

The biggest problem with Homeland Security and the TSA is evident in this article.  They only change things in response to what they've learned.  Learn of a new potential terrorist trick that's already being used, we change.  If the TSA and Homeland Security wanted to be effective, they would be proactive.  Look for where their security is lacking and move into that direction,instead of the reactive approach that has been happening.  As I see it, the biggest problem is that the law abiding passengers are not allowed any form of weapon.  The shoe bomber was stopped not by the TSA or any government agent but by civilian passengers.  We should be looking at this as not stopping anyone from carrying knives onto a plane.  Yeah, the 9-11 hijackers took those planes with box cutters, so if we allowed every passenger who wanted to carry a knife a knife, even if the terrorists had knives, the civilian passengers together would out number the terrorists.  The potential for bombs and blowing up the plane wouldn't be an issue given that from the events of 9-11 we learned that even if someone gets their way and hijacks a plane mid flight, safety is still not guaranteed.


I remember arguing here on Fark, long ago, that if we were that worried about box cutters, then a man trained in unarmed combat could be about as dangerous.  Short of making every passenger wear a strait jacket at all times, you're not going to prevent everything.
 
2013-07-21 06:26:53 AM
issue passengers approved paper underwear with their tickets. big deal. upside: making big bucks in the Japan used paper underwear market.
 
2013-07-21 06:31:57 AM
Three things. First, "double agent." Second, I wonder if the terrorists suspect he's a double agent and feeding him bogus information to see if the people in "White-Satan-Land" fall for it. Third, The Daily Farking Mail.

Do you get the feeling that we're being trolled?
 
2013-07-21 06:50:39 AM
Joke's on them! I don't wear underwear
 
2013-07-21 06:59:15 AM

PunkTiger: Three things. First, "double agent." Second, I wonder if the terrorists suspect he's a double agent and feeding him bogus information to see if the people in "White-Satan-Land" fall for it. Third, The Daily Farking Mail.

Do you get the feeling that we're being trolled?


I always assume I am being trolled till confirmation from a better source... unfortunatly the world seems to be trolling me lately.
 
2013-07-21 07:04:58 AM
Still a better love story then Twilight?
 
2013-07-21 07:05:39 AM

BumpInTheNight: Still a better love story then Twilight?


Michael Jackson's Thriller is a better love story than Twilight.
 
2013-07-21 07:05:48 AM
media.tumblr.com
 
2013-07-21 07:10:46 AM

generallyso: In other news, there's still nothing to stop someone blowing up the crowd standing outside the TSA checkpoint and killing at least as many people as if they had downed a plane.


Yeah, but they don't get to blow up the hundred million dollar asset midair.  So, you know, remember the TSA is there to protect....uh....
 
2013-07-21 07:11:24 AM
It's at this point the audiences should just laugh in these idiots faces and walk out of the room. Why are we taking these dimwits seriously?
 
2013-07-21 07:15:14 AM
Thought this was from the onion..
 
2013-07-21 07:34:56 AM

generallyso: In other news, there's still nothing to stop someone blowing up the crowd standing outside the TSA checkpoint and killing at least as many people as if they had downed a plane.


Yeah, I never understood the plane fetish.

Did it start off being a border thing? I.e. I can't get into your country's border to kill people so I'll blow up people coming back from my country?
 
2013-07-21 07:42:32 AM
If you're willing to die, you're willing to cram 2 pounds of semtex up your ass.

This renders the entire TSA pointless.
 
2013-07-21 07:44:23 AM
The TSA part is something that everyone can appreciate because everybody hates it.  I really can see a day when every passenger is issued paper underwear (that you put on in a room with reverse mirrors), before donning a TSA issued 'robe' of some kind, along with rubber sandals.  But the price of airline tickets is another matter altogether.  They just keep going up as the quality of the seating (and overall flying experience) goes down.

Though it would never happen, assume that the TSA would grant a waiver (like an obamacare waiver) to any airline company that chose to opt-out of TSA-style security measures, because it was hurting their business.  Since the global jihad isn't going to stop - not ever - would anybody actually fly on that airline?
 
2013-07-21 07:50:24 AM

Resident Muslim: generallyso: In other news, there's still nothing to stop someone blowing up the crowd standing outside the TSA checkpoint and killing at least as many people as if they had downed a plane.

Yeah, I never understood the plane fetish.

Did it start off being a border thing? I.e. I can't get into your country's border to kill people so I'll blow up people coming back from my country?


It started off as leverage in hostage disputes.  Back in the 70s, when terrorism actually was a widespread, for-profit, mission statement based business that actually could strike anywhere, terrorists would hijack planes and reroute them to another airport, sometimes in a neutral or friendly country, and make their demands.  Then they would usually get shot in the face.

Bin Laden ruined all that when he killed everybody, using what used to be political leverage as literal weapons.  I'll guarantee you non-zero-sum terrorists hated him more than the rest of us.  On a plane these days, you bolt out of your seat and yell something, you'll get dismembered by an angry mob at cruising altitude. Bin Laden killed hijacking as a viable political tool forever.
 
2013-07-21 07:51:47 AM

yukichigai: No the real big problem are ticket prices.  It used to be that for a hundred and change I could get up to my friend in Spokane from the Reno area.  Now they want something like $300 depending on the time.  It's literally cheaper for me to spend 14 hours on the road, and I drive an SUV (which admittedly gets 18-21 mpg, but still).


Do you make $2/hour in your line of employment?

Also, wah.
 
2013-07-21 07:59:48 AM

Godscrack: Rich people problems.

That's some  poverty line you are walking there!
 
2013-07-21 08:01:58 AM
Teleportation technology can't come soon enough.
 
2013-07-21 08:02:49 AM

dillenger69: caulk ... plain old caulk from home depot is the "secret" new ingredient?
I wonder if they prefer thick black caulk, thin yellow caulk, or your average white caulk.


what about hispanic caulk?
 
2013-07-21 08:09:54 AM
Clearly our crack team of otherwise welfare recipients are fully prepared to reach deep inside of our children's pants and skirts to feel... err analyze the threat.
 
2013-07-21 08:11:17 AM

vat_man: generallyso: In other news, there's still nothing to stop someone blowing up the crowd standing outside the TSA checkpoint and killing at least as many people as if they had downed a plane.

Yeah, but they don't get to blow up the hundred million dollar asset midair.  So, you know, remember the TSA is there to protect....uh....


1. Morale.  Better for the government to have the people angry at being frisked than angry at an inadequate government.(they don't realize they get both ends of the stick here, but that's beside the point).  Keeps life at the status quo with some uptight people being biatchy, instead of the alternatives.
2. Significant damage to a city should a skyscraper be the target again.  A toll that taxes a nation a bit more than a public bombing.


This is the natural progression when liberal(and killing is a sin) type people run the moral rules of the planet.  We're not allowed to use the big bombs, in other words. Can't "profile".   Can't go shoot them all for the same reasons.  Can't keep the troops deployed in the numbers necessary to catch them all.  Can't do to well fighting them covertly, we simply cannot blend in at all, need to rely on natives. It's what happens when you hamstring the best military in the world, when you try to avoid actual war at all costs.
 
2013-07-21 08:11:34 AM
Neighborhood Watch:Though it would never happen, assume that the TSA would grant a waiver (like an obamacare waiver) to any airline company that chose to opt-out of TSA-style security measures, because it was hurting their business.  Since the global jihad isn't going to stop - not ever - would anybody actually fly on that airline?

Remember the 80s? There was a highjacking about every week it seemed. People just got on with their lives as flew whenever they wanted to. Security was good enough that the chances you'd be highjacked were very small. That is what we need now, not some TSA security theatre to make those that cower in fear feel better. They can just stay home.
 
2013-07-21 08:12:16 AM

Matthew Keene: I will be concerned when al-Queda develops a working butt plug bomb.

[www.therevcounter.co.uk image 300x300]


Is that one of those perpetrator bombs?
 
2013-07-21 08:22:26 AM
Underwear 2 The Next Generation: Skidmark Boogaloo.
 
2013-07-21 08:26:41 AM
Can't airports just have a Bacon Line? You get through security faster, and have a free strip of tasty, succulent bacon!
 
2013-07-21 08:34:58 AM
xerge:  Remember the 80s? There was a highjacking about every week it seemed. People just got on with their lives as flew whenever they wanted to. Security was good enough that the chances you'd be highjacked were very small. That is what we need now, not some TSA security theatre to make those that cower in fear feel better. They can just stay home.


Yes, I remember the 80's.  In fact, that first Chuck Norris Delta Force movie was based upon an actual event (i.e. plane getting hijacked in the middle east).  Like somebody said up-thread, hijackers used to force the plane to land somewhere else than intended and hold the passengers and crew as hostages.  That, or they'd say 'take me to Cuba' or some such thing so that they could escape whatever sort of trouble they were in here.

Now they just want to kill everybody on board, including themselves.  That last 'underwear bomber' would have succeeded had his device performed properly.  Other passengers couldn't have stopped it, like they did with the unsuccessful 'shoe bomber'.  Likewise, if the jihadi 'liquid bomb' plot had worked, it would have been very, very ugly.

You can talk all day long about 'cowering in fear', islamaphobes, racist profiling, or whatever makes you feel better.  Nonetheless, the threats are real and they are never going to go away - not ever againIt's not the 80's anymore.
 
2013-07-21 08:35:26 AM

generallyso: In other news, there's still nothing to stop someone blowing up the crowd standing outside the TSA checkpoint and killing at least as many people as if they had downed a plane.


Got a point
 
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