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(Gothamist)   Professions that pay $400/hour: 1) Lawyer 2) Brain Surgeon 3) Play-Date Consultant for rich snowflakes who suck at playing   (gothamist.com) divider line 83
    More: Asinine, Rich Kids  
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6389 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Jul 2013 at 2:31 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-07-20 01:16:58 AM
Buy Acme Anal Cream, good for random cases of butthurt
 
2013-07-20 02:33:49 AM
Psychology majors have to make a living somehow.

/ducks
 
2013-07-20 02:45:48 AM
Um, lawyers may charge the client $400+ dollars per hour. Most of that money goes straight to court fees, private court reporters, copy guys, rent, paychecks for secretaries, local hookers . . .
 
2013-07-20 02:48:18 AM
I must be doing it wrong. After the last time I was a "play-date consultant" I only ended up getting 40c an hour in the license plate shop.
 
2013-07-20 02:48:27 AM
I would say this is silly, but then I thought about how babies grow up observing their parents interact more with their phones than with other humans and suddenly it started to make sense.
 
2013-07-20 02:50:39 AM
Makes me has a sad that there are rich people out there who would hire a service like this and willingly pay them $400 an hour because they're unwilling to parent, like they were willing to fark to make the kid; but also own a business and have an average wage for those employees leveled out around $9 an hour, even though their employees do more for that rich man than the snot nosed kid they didn't want.
 
2013-07-20 02:51:56 AM

HotWingAgenda: Um, lawyers may charge the client $400+ dollars per hour. Most of that money goes straight to court fees, private court reporters, copy guys, rent, paychecks for secretaries, local hookers . . .


Actually from the couple of bills I've seen, the only thing you list that they don't bill separately for is the rent. Everything else is extra on top of their own time.
 
2013-07-20 02:55:35 AM
Play Date Consultant? Oww! I just rolled my eyes so hard that I think I sprained something inside my head.
 
2013-07-20 02:59:46 AM
5. Being dead awesome at your job consulting.
6. Stripper.
 
2013-07-20 03:00:26 AM

Lith: HotWingAgenda: Um, lawyers may charge the client $400+ dollars per hour. Most of that money goes straight to court fees, private court reporters, copy guys, rent, paychecks for secretaries, local hookers . . .

Actually from the couple of bills I've seen, the only thing you list that they don't bill separately for is the rent. Everything else is extra on top of their own time.


Yup.  Postage, envelope, manila folder, copy service, legal assistant research time, secretary called to get a phone number, asked secretary to call to get a phone number, etc.
 
2013-07-20 03:02:01 AM

HotWingAgenda: Um, lawyers may charge the client $400+ dollars per hour. Most of that money goes straight to court fees, private court reporters, copy guys, rent, paychecks for secretaries, local hookers . . .


Don't know what lawyer you use, but I get billed for everything under the sun.
 
2013-07-20 03:02:17 AM
Dont forget high end prostitute
 
m00
2013-07-20 03:04:10 AM
I'm not against the rich, but I am against people gaining their wealth by dishonest or anti-capitalist means. Since this is New York, we're probably talking about investment bankers. If it were DC, it would be government contractors.

So I am saying if these parasites don't stop spending their vast wealth in asinine ways there's going to be some social accountability down the line when the proles get fed up enough to start voting in serious wealth re-distributors. Because these people didn't get rich by writing an awesome app or making an awesome movie or buying a chain of laundromats. They got rich by making risky bets with other people's money, failing, and getting bailed out with those same people's tax dollars (who already lost everything). If these "posh Manhattanites" are spending $400 for this nonsense, then clearly the only lesson they learned from the banking/mortgage crisis is that they are a government-protected privileged class.
 
2013-07-20 03:11:14 AM
If this service were only, say,  a hundred dollars an hour, everybody and their filthy brother would be signing up for it.

That kind of defeats the whole purpose of exclusivity, no?
 
2013-07-20 03:14:09 AM
So the question I'd have to ask is: Does this stuff really work?  Like the whole Preschool -> private -> Ivy League -> actual rich job thing?  Because I'd really, really hate to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on private schooling (and stuff like TFA) to just have it go to waste.

What do kids do when they drop out of this system?  Do they commit suicide like the kids in Japan?  Because there's MAYBE 20,000 spots each year in Ivy League schools (and from everything I've heard, the schools are artificially limiting the number of acceptances from the "elite" neighborhoods).
 
2013-07-20 03:14:43 AM
d3gtl9l2a4fn1j.cloudfront.net
 
2013-07-20 03:16:43 AM
m00: I'm not against the rich, but [class warfare rant redeacted]
 
2013-07-20 03:25:31 AM

m00: I'm not against the rich, but I am against people gaining their wealth by dishonest or anti-capitalist means. Since this is New York, we're probably talking about investment bankers. If it were DC, it would be government contractors.

So I am saying if these parasites don't stop spending their vast wealth in asinine ways there's going to be some social accountability down the line when the proles get fed up enough to start voting in serious wealth re-distributors. Because these people didn't get rich by writing an awesome app or making an awesome movie or buying a chain of laundromats. They got rich by making risky bets with other people's money, failing, and getting bailed out with those same people's tax dollars (who already lost everything). If these "posh Manhattanites" are spending $400 for this nonsense, then clearly the only lesson they learned from the banking/mortgage crisis is that they are a government-protected privileged class.


Can I subscribe to your newsletter?
 
2013-07-20 03:28:07 AM

jtown: Lith: HotWingAgenda: Um, lawyers may charge the client $400+ dollars per hour. Most of that money goes straight to court fees, private court reporters, copy guys, rent, paychecks for secretaries, local hookers . . .

Actually from the couple of bills I've seen, the only thing you list that they don't bill separately for is the rent. Everything else is extra on top of their own time.

Yup.  Postage, envelope, manila folder, copy service, legal assistant research time, secretary called to get a phone number, asked secretary to call to get a phone number, etc.


divx88: HotWingAgenda: Um, lawyers may charge the client $400+ dollars per hour. Most of that money goes straight to court fees, private court reporters, copy guys, rent, paychecks for secretaries, local hookers . . .

Don't know what lawyer you use, but I get billed for everything under the sun.


You guys are getting hosed, then. Attorneys' fees are high because they're supposed to be used to cover all of the administrative costs of doing business as an attorney. There are certain costs that should get broken out separately, but only if they're recoverable for specific work in that specific case (like if your attorney hires someone to make a digital rendering to show the jury). Generally speaking, it's bad practice for an attorney to separately bill the client at attorney rates for clerical work that secretaries do. An attorney's bill is like a concert ticket. Some of your money goes to the band, but most of it goes to all the people you don't see that made the show happen. All you see, for the most part, is the big number you pay. You don't see how much goes to the lawyer's malpractice insurance, or all of his Rutter guide subscriptions.
 
2013-07-20 03:32:45 AM
TFA: These pricy pre-planned play times are monitored by instructors who teach them the proper way to socialize with their well-heeled peers in order to maximize their chances of getting into New York's elite private schools.

So, this has nothing to do with playing or the child's actual healthy development, and everything to do with passing an absurd admissions interview for kindergarten in which kids' social skills are "tested" on dubious metrics to supply the appearence that enrollees were chosen on merit. Do rich people truly fall for this system, or are all participants in it only because that's the way the game is played? I'm not sure which is worse.

I do so wonder about the activities of the better classes.
 
2013-07-20 03:33:06 AM

letrole: m00: I'm not against the rich, but [class warfare rant redeacted]


its only class warfare when the poor fight back.
 
2013-07-20 03:49:44 AM

Oldiron_79: Dont forget high end prostitute


They prefer the term "courtesan."
 
2013-07-20 04:09:38 AM
pacified: its only class warfare when the poor fight back

class warfare is not real.

class warfare is imagined by those who either fail to achieve through lack of talent, or by those who have feelings of guilt for inherited and unearned wealth.

class warfare is the socioeconomic equivalent of sexual harrasment.
 
2013-07-20 04:16:45 AM

letrole: pacified: its only class warfare when the poor fight back

class warfare is not real.

class warfare is imagined by those who either fail to achieve through lack of talent, or by those who have feelings of guilt for inherited and unearned wealth.

class warfare is the socioeconomic equivalent of sexual harrasment.


that's why all the people who caused the 2008 economic crash are in jail, right?
 
m00
2013-07-20 04:23:08 AM

letrole: m00: I'm not against the rich, but [class warfare rant redeacted]


Are you trolling or what?
 
2013-07-20 04:36:19 AM
m00: Are you trolling or what?

Your post was the equivalent of claiming not to be racist, using a qualifying 'but', and then telling a racist joke.

Your post was the equivalent of claiming to condemn terorrism, using a qualifying 'but', and then providing a full justification for the motivations of a suicide bomber.

Your post was the equivalent of stating X, using a qualifying 'but', and then going full !X.
 
2013-07-20 04:38:47 AM
Man, fark these people.
 
2013-07-20 04:49:07 AM

letrole: m00: Are you trolling or what?

Your post was the equivalent of claiming not to be racist, using a qualifying 'but', and then telling a racist joke.

Your post was the equivalent of claiming to condemn terorrism, using a qualifying 'but', and then providing a full justification for the motivations of a suicide bomber.

Your post was the equivalent of stating X, using a qualifying 'but', and then going full !X.


Reading comprehension fail. OP clearly stated a number of acceptable ways to become rich ("by writing an awesome app or making an awesome movie or buying a chain of laundromats "), however investment banking was explicitly not one of them.
 
2013-07-20 04:49:21 AM
letrole: class warfare is the socioeconomic equivalent of sexual harrasment.

pacified: that's why all the people who caused the 2008 economic crash are in jail, right?


sexual harrasment occurs when the wrong man flirts and stares at your titties
 
2013-07-20 04:49:23 AM

Archie Goodwin: I must be doing it wrong. After the last time I was a "play-date consultant" I only ended up getting 40c an hour in the license plate shop.


+1
 
2013-07-20 04:59:08 AM

Lith: HotWingAgenda: Um, lawyers may charge the client $400+ dollars per hour. Most of that money goes straight to court fees, private court reporters, copy guys, rent, paychecks for secretaries, local hookers . . .

Actually from the couple of bills I've seen, the only thing you list that they don't bill separately for is the rent. Everything else is extra on top of their own time.


You betcha. The client pays for all that other stuff, yeah; but ON TOP OF the $400+ an hour.
 
2013-07-20 05:12:31 AM
Wait a moment.

I think this may be exactly what Sunday School teachers and Jewish Community Center volunteers do with kids, only for $400/hour instead of 'free.'

...The Unitarian Universalists are totally cool with raising a kid atheist, incidentally. (Imagine 'Our Lady of TED Talks, A Really Neat Book the Pastor Found Recently, and Oh, Yes, Any Religion You Like Is Also Cool.' That's the UU in a nutshell.) And all three of the above playdate-facilitaty places also have snacks and coloring. Hell, at my church we have a trebuchet that the fifth-graders built and there's free coffee for adults.

/I don't object to rich people's being rich, but I object to them being shiatty with money.
 
2013-07-20 05:20:53 AM

HotWingAgenda: Um, lawyers may charge the client $400+ dollars per hour. Most of that money goes straight to court fees, private court reporters, copy guys, rent, paychecks for secretaries, local hookers . . .


This. Lawyers that aren't 110% morally corrupt don't actually take home anywhere near that.
 
2013-07-20 05:31:03 AM

letrole: pacified: its only class warfare when the poor fight back

class warfare is not real.

class warfare is imagined by those who either fail to achieve through lack of talent due to smiting God, or by those who have feelings of guilt for inherited and unearned wealth ancestors that smote God.

class warfare is the socioeconomic equivalent of sexual harrasment denying your bride's virginity to your lord.


- Edward I of England
 
2013-07-20 05:32:16 AM

digistil: This. Lawyers that aren't 110% morally corrupt don't actually take home anywhere near that.


Apparently I married a more than 110% morally corrupt lawyer. Score.
 
2013-07-20 05:41:14 AM
They could save $400/hour by actually interacting with their kids!
 
2013-07-20 05:45:01 AM
my biggest failing in life was being born out of the wrong vagina.
 
2013-07-20 05:46:27 AM

FarkinNortherner: digistil: This. Lawyers that aren't 110% morally corrupt don't actually take home anywhere near that.

Apparently I married a more than 110% morally corrupt lawyer. Score.


The seven figure annual take home will allow you to buy many things to help you forget. ;)
 
2013-07-20 05:51:54 AM
Moms?  One of these days, your little accessory is going to hit puberty and become interested in other aspects of their lives outside of providing you with "well MY PRECIOUS BABY has.." stories for the other vain, competitive cows you hang out with when you should be raising your kids.  50.00 says they wont send a thank you card.
 
Esn
2013-07-20 06:02:55 AM

letrole: pacified: its only class warfare when the poor fight back

class warfare is not real.

class warfare is imagined by those who either fail to achieve through lack of talent, or by those who have feelings of guilt for inherited and unearned wealth.


Like Warren Buffett, I guess.

"There's class warfare, all right, but it's my class, the rich class, that's making war, and we're winning "
Whereas YOU have no such guilt because you are sure that your wealth is entirely due to you being such a fantastic and deserving human being. Prick.

Oh, and also this:
i.imgur.com

i.imgur.com
 
m00
2013-07-20 06:33:41 AM

ennuie: Reading comprehension fail. OP clearly stated a number of acceptable ways to become rich ("by writing an awesome app or making an awesome movie or buying a chain of laundromats "), however investment banking was explicitly not one of them.


Thank you :)

I believe in the free market. Which is... you make something great, or provide a great service, and people buy or use it... and you get wealthy. I'm not begrudging the Bill Gates or Steve Jobs or even the Sam Walton's of the world. I'm not criticizing professional athletes or movie stars or rock stars who entertain millions and become extremely wealthy.

But in my mind, there is a specific group of the 1% who really are parasites on the system. Chief among this class are investment bankers and those who make money in high finance, but generally speaking anyone whose primary business is to leverage the relationship between government and money in order to redistribute the wealth from the tax base at large to themselves. The two cities most notorious for creating this class of parasitic millionaire are New York and DC. What's particularly galling is that even in the midst of a crippling recession they still manage to vacuum up whatever public funds are supposed to go to recovery.

The problem is that criticizing this group has been equated with criticizing the concept of wealth. When in fact the least free-market policy government can implement is one where money is taken from the poor and middle-class and give it to the rich. Investment bankers aren't operating in a free market -- they are operating in a protected market for their own personal enrichment, where no matter what they do they are guaranteed the government will take the wealth out of your pocket and put it into theirs.

See, I believe the underlying principle of free market is risk v reward. Bill Gates took a risk. Steve Jobs building the Apple I in his garage which he funded by selling his personal items is taking a risk. Anyone who founds a startup takes a risk. The vast majority of new businesses fail in the first year. The vast majority of people who try and become a professional athlete, or musician, or actor don't make it. You can keep your stable boring job, or you can take a chance. But there is no risk in high finance. Regardless of whether their reckless gambles pay off or fail catastrophically they earn millions a year. And when they still manage to blow it, the government just bails them out and they go right back to paying themselves million dollar bonuses.

It's a rigged game. This is not capitalism. It's shameful.
 
2013-07-20 06:51:36 AM
Doesn't matter how much money you spend on the little shiatbags they still stink of caked on ass nuggets and milk-breath, and they still grow up to become yet another pointless existence.
Best thing you can do with your sex trophies is not have any.
 
2013-07-20 06:59:46 AM
$400/hour for a brain surgeon? Subby hasn't seen the present-day Medicare reimbursement rates.
 
2013-07-20 07:03:46 AM
oh great.

somebody has posted a huge graphic that proves something about everybody else being at fault for your own failing to earn and save.

somebody else needs to post a huge graphic that illustrates a woman's right not to be ogled whilst wandering around the office even if she's wearing highheels and a leather miniskirt and damn that bottom button is the only thing keeping her titties in place.


slow version: class warfare equals sexual harassment
 
2013-07-20 07:47:38 AM
$400 an hour and i'd take the brat to play with the anchor babies at the thrift store. That should round off the sharp corners of privilege.
 
2013-07-20 07:57:43 AM

m00: I'm not against the rich, but I am against people gaining their wealth by dishonest or anti-capitalist means. Since this is New York, we're probably talking about investment bankers. If it were DC, it would be government contractors.

So I am saying if these parasites don't stop spending their vast wealth in asinine ways there's going to be some social accountability down the line when the proles get fed up enough to start voting in serious wealth re-distributors. Because these people didn't get rich by writing an awesome app or making an awesome movie or buying a chain of laundromats. They got rich by making risky bets with other people's money, failing, and getting bailed out with those same people's tax dollars (who already lost everything). If these "posh Manhattanites" are spending $400 for this nonsense, then clearly the only lesson they learned from the banking/mortgage crisis is that they are a government-protected privileged class.


i enjoy when people make assumptions and talk out their asses.
 
2013-07-20 08:20:08 AM

letrole: pacified: its only class warfare when the poor fight back

class warfare is not real.

class warfare is imagined by those who either fail to achieve through lack of talent, or by those who have feelings of guilt for inherited and unearned wealth.

class warfare is the socioeconomic equivalent of sexual harrasment.


What an idiot!
 
2013-07-20 08:23:29 AM

meyerkev: So the question I'd have to ask is: Does this stuff really work?  Like the whole Preschool -> private -> Ivy League -> actual rich job thing?  Because I'd really, really hate to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on private schooling (and stuff like TFA) to just have it go to waste.


I've seen the preschool->private school -> Ivy League -> good job through personal connections with kids whose parents are high up in big companies work several times.
 
2013-07-20 08:38:08 AM

Target Builder: meyerkev: So the question I'd have to ask is: Does this stuff really work?  Like the whole Preschool -> private -> Ivy League -> actual rich job thing?  Because I'd really, really hate to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on private schooling (and stuff like TFA) to just have it go to waste.

I've seen the preschool->private school -> Ivy League -> good job through personal connections with kids whose parents are high up in big companies work several times.


I don't think the end game is a job...good or otherwise.  It's so that their children are kings of a financial kingdom.
 
2013-07-20 08:39:48 AM
Gosh I hope they can write it off
 
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