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(Daily Mail)   'We get visitors from all over: Russia, Holland and Scandinavia. But the British are the biggest group, and they behave the worst,' said another passer-by. 'They drink and drink until they lose their minds.'   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 88
    More: Interesting, Scandinavia, Holland, Muslims, God-fearing, culture war  
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10519 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jul 2013 at 9:27 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



88 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-07-19 08:05:39 PM  
Marmaris- thanks for the tip-
 
2013-07-19 08:05:53 PM  
What's the point of going abroad if you're just another tourist carted around in buses surrounded by sweaty mindless oafs from Kettering and Boventry in their cloth caps and their cardigans and their transistor radios and their Sunday Mirrors, bomplaining about the tea - 'Oh they don't make it properly here, do they, not like at home' - and stopping at Majorcan bodegas selling fish and chips and Watney's Red Barrel and calamaris and two veg and sitting in their cotton frocks squirting Timothy White's suncream all over their puffy raw swollen purulent flesh 'cos they 'overdid it on the first day.'
And being herded into endless Hotel Miramars and Bellvueses and Bontinentales with their modern international luxury roomettes and draught Red Barrel and swimming pools full of fat German businessmen pretending they're acrobats forming pyramids and frightening the children and barging into queues and if you're not at your table spot on seven you miss the bowl of Campbell's Cream of Mushroom soup, the first item on the menu of International Cuisine, and every Thursday night the hotel has a bloody cabaret in the bar, featuring a tiny emaciated dago with nine-inch hips and some bloated fat tart with her hair brylcreemed down and a big arse presenting Flamenco for Foreigners.
And then some adenoidal typists from Birmingham with flabby white legs and diarrhoea trying to pick up hairy bandy-legged wop waiters called Manuel and once a week there's an excursion to the local Roman Ruins to buy cherryade and melted ice cream and bleeding Watney's Red Barrel and one evening you visit the so called typical restaurant with local colour and atmosphere and you sit next to a party from Rhyl who keep singing 'Torremolinos, torremolinos' and complaining about the food - 'It's so greasy here, isn't it?' - and you get cornered by some drunken greengrocer from Luton with an Instamatic camera and Dr. Scholl sandals and last Tuesday's Daily Express and he drones on and on and on about how Mr. Smith should be running this country and how many languages Enoch Powell can speak and then he throws up over the Cuba Libres.
And sending tinted postcards of places they don't realise they haven't even visited to 'All at number 22, weather wonderful, our room is marked with an 'X'.
Food very greasy but we've found a charming little local place hidden away in the back streets where they serve Watney's Red Barrel and cheese and onion.......
 
2013-07-19 08:28:23 PM  
Wah, we built an industry around late night partying and now we're offended by the late night partiers.

/don't like it? Change the laws and close the clubs earlier
 
2013-07-19 08:58:56 PM  

Darth_Lukecash: What's the point of going abroad if you're just another tourist carted around in buses surrounded by sweaty mindless oafs from Kettering and Boventry in their cloth caps and their cardigans and their transistor radios and their Sunday Mirrors, bomplaining about the tea - 'Oh they don't make it properly here, do they, not like at home' - and stopping at Majorcan bodegas selling fish and chips and Watney's Red Barrel and calamaris and two veg and sitting in their cotton frocks squirting Timothy White's suncream all over their puffy raw swollen purulent flesh 'cos they 'overdid it on the first day.'
And being herded into endless Hotel Miramars and Bellvueses and Bontinentales with their modern international luxury roomettes and draught Red Barrel and swimming pools full of fat German businessmen pretending they're acrobats forming pyramids and frightening the children and barging into queues and if you're not at your table spot on seven you miss the bowl of Campbell's Cream of Mushroom soup, the first item on the menu of International Cuisine, and every Thursday night the hotel has a bloody cabaret in the bar, featuring a tiny emaciated dago with nine-inch hips and some bloated fat tart with her hair brylcreemed down and a big arse presenting Flamenco for Foreigners.
And then some adenoidal typists from Birmingham with flabby white legs and diarrhoea trying to pick up hairy bandy-legged wop waiters called Manuel and once a week there's an excursion to the local Roman Ruins to buy cherryade and melted ice cream and bleeding Watney's Red Barrel and one evening you visit the so called typical restaurant with local colour and atmosphere and you sit next to a party from Rhyl who keep singing 'Torremolinos, torremolinos' and complaining about the food - 'It's so greasy here, isn't it?' - and you get cornered by some drunken greengrocer from Luton with an Instamatic camera and Dr. Scholl sandals and last Tuesday's Daily Express and he drones on and on and on about how Mr. Smi ...


TL/DR
 
2013-07-19 09:13:30 PM  

MurphyMurphy: Wah, we built an industry around late night partying and now we're offended by the late night partiers.

/don't like it? Change the laws and close the clubs earlier


The article says that most bars and clubs shut down at midnight which, in my experience, is generally when the party just starts ramping up.

It just seems like this is a slight variation of the Greater Internet Farkwad Theory, where people assume that just because they aren't in their hometown (or home country) they can behave like raging dipshiats.
 
2013-07-19 09:20:32 PM  

Darth_Lukecash: What's the point of going abroad if you're just another tourist carted around in buses surrounded by sweaty mindless oafs from Kettering and Boventry in their cloth caps and their cardigans and their transistor radios and their Sunday Mirrors, bomplaining about the tea - 'Oh they don't make it properly here, do they, not like at home' - and stopping at Majorcan bodegas selling fish and chips and Watney's Red Barrel and calamaris and two veg and sitting in their cotton frocks squirting Timothy White's suncream all over their puffy raw swollen purulent flesh 'cos they 'overdid it on the first day.'
And being herded into endless Hotel Miramars and Bellvueses and Bontinentales with their modern international luxury roomettes and draught Red Barrel and swimming pools full of fat German businessmen pretending they're acrobats forming pyramids and frightening the children and barging into queues and if you're not at your table spot on seven you miss the bowl of Campbell's Cream of Mushroom soup, the first item on the menu of International Cuisine, and every Thursday night the hotel has a bloody cabaret in the bar, featuring a tiny emaciated dago with nine-inch hips and some bloated fat tart with her hair brylcreemed down and a big arse presenting Flamenco for Foreigners.
And then some adenoidal typists from Birmingham with flabby white legs and diarrhoea trying to pick up hairy bandy-legged wop waiters called Manuel and once a week there's an excursion to the local Roman Ruins to buy cherryade and melted ice cream and bleeding Watney's Red Barrel and one evening you visit the so called typical restaurant with local colour and atmosphere and you sit next to a party from Rhyl who keep singing 'Torremolinos, torremolinos' and complaining about the food - 'It's so greasy here, isn't it?' - and you get cornered by some drunken greengrocer from Luton with an Instamatic camera and Dr. Scholl sandals and last Tuesday's Daily Express and he drones on and on and on about how Mr. Smi ...


At first, I thought this was soliloquy from Ben Kingsley in Sexy Beast, and then it hit me-- The Pythons.
 
2013-07-19 09:31:34 PM  
Um, I am guilty sometimes of this same behaviour.  Fortunately, it is in the safety of my own cave.  Usually during a Cowboys game. Drinking to this excess in public is asking for trouble. The Brits were never really that smart.  Just sayin'.....
 
2013-07-19 09:33:16 PM  
stag parties get kicked out of everywhere eventually.  IIRC brits aren't allowed into bars in most of Eastern Europe.  Estonia, Latvia, Bulgaria...

And honestly, as an American even I can see why.  Farking buffoons.
 
2013-07-19 09:33:28 PM  
I go away for the weekend to Orlando pretty regularly.

F*ck you, Brazilians.   If I acted in Rio the way you show your ass in Orlando, i'd be gutted and left for dead in a ditch somewhere.   Show some class, nuevo riche assholes.
 
2013-07-19 09:35:59 PM  
Stupid Turks. Open a resort town and prop up alcohol tourism and debauchery and then get offended because your Sky Wizard is a gay homosex boy butt raper?  Sure.
 
2013-07-19 09:37:08 PM  
We conquered the entire goddamned world sailing in wooden bathtubs and wearing wool, biatches. What makes you think Brits are inoffensive, even tempered and inclined toward temperance? Don't like it? Don't serve booze or don't cater to  English speakers.

But you're looking at a race of people that  conquered the known world. Expect trouble, nod and smile, and be grateful for the trade, weaklings.
 
2013-07-19 09:37:39 PM  
From talking to locals in the places I've traveled, it's my understanding that British tourists are everyone's least favorite because they're either drunk assholes, complaining that everything isn't exactly the same as it is in Britain, or both simultaneously.
 
2013-07-19 09:37:51 PM  
Brit tourists over German tourists any day.  But not by much.
 
2013-07-19 09:39:50 PM  
i.dailymail.co.uk

api.ning.com
 
2013-07-19 09:40:17 PM  
If you visit America, you won't get into a "punch up".  You may be shot, though.
 
2013-07-19 09:41:48 PM  

WeenerGord: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x708]

[api.ning.com image 400x225]


You are the worst human being ever
 
2013-07-19 09:45:10 PM  

willfullyobscure: But you're looking at a race of people that conquered the known world.


Wouldn't anybody? Having to shag the ugly scags in England is enough to drive any man to a foreign land.

Even our fat women are better looking than a normal British "woman".

//that's a man baby!!  No seriously.. what is it?
 
2013-07-19 09:45:55 PM  

miss diminutive: MurphyMurphy: Wah, we built an industry around late night partying and now we're offended by the late night partiers.

/don't like it? Change the laws and close the clubs earlier

The article says that most bars and clubs shut down at midnight which, in my experience, is generally when the party just starts ramping up.

It just seems like this is a slight variation of the Greater Internet Farkwad Theory, where people assume that just because they aren't in their hometown (or home country) they can behave like raging dipshiats.


Change the laws or force the Hotels to keep their bars open all night.
Why get up and move if you already have drinks and food where you are?

:D
FRAK
NOW I want Kabab
 
2013-07-19 09:46:52 PM  
As someone who used to live and work in the Costa del Sol, España, I can attest to the truth of this.

The English, not Scots, Welsh or Irish per se, are the worst.
 
2013-07-19 09:48:20 PM  

Lt. Cheese Weasel: Stupid Turks. Open a resort town and prop up alcohol tourism and debauchery and then get offended because your Sky Wizard is a gay homosex boy butt raper?  Sure.


I was going to say something similar to this, with different and albeit slightly less colorful language. I can't, however, find any fault in your scribe.

They show disdain for outsiders yet they want our money, into the EU, etc...so bad they can taste it.

I've worked with the Turks, gov't and wireless telecom and they are abysmal to deal with. Archaic rules, laws, restrictions and other such nonsense. Listen Turks, when I am in Adana, 50 or so miles from the Syrian border trying to fix YOUR shiatty telecom infrastructure and dodge all sorts of problematic people and other dangers the last thing I need is to be bogged down with a form that wasn't filled out with every stinking detail. It's enough of a risk moving around there as it is.

Sure, the brits are giant assholes but as you so eloquently put it the Turks are begging for trouble.
 
2013-07-19 09:49:13 PM  
From the article:

His girlfriend, Lucy Clayton, added: 'We're getting drunk next to a mosque. That might seem disrespectful. But if people don't want that to happen they shouldn't make this a tourist resort, should they?'

She's definitely an ambassador for her country.
 
2013-07-19 09:49:21 PM  
Are we sure they are not confusing Australians for the British?
 
2013-07-19 09:49:43 PM  

namatad: NOW I want Kabab


Oh god.

NEED KABAB SOONISH.
 
2013-07-19 09:49:51 PM  

drjekel_mrhyde: WeenerGord: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x708]

[api.ning.com image 400x225]

You are the worst human being ever



I know, it's great, isn't it? Lordy, lordy, it's the Fat Slags!

I never thought I'd see a pair of fat tits, or in this case, ass, cut in half by elastic, in real life, but lo, there it was.

I bet you're just mad I postet before you did!
 
2013-07-19 09:50:22 PM  
it would be so much easier if the bloody tourists arrived, threw their money on the streets and departed on the next flight. oh wells.
 
2013-07-19 09:51:01 PM  

Sockeye Sashimi: As someone who used to live and work in the Costa del Sol, España, I can attest to the truth of this.

The English, not Scots, Welsh or Irish per se, are the worst.


When I was in Europe it seemed like the Aussies were the most obnoxious. Probably not a representative sample, though.
 
2013-07-19 09:51:46 PM  
lh4.ggpht.com
 
2013-07-19 09:54:14 PM  

mrlewish: willfullyobscure: But you're looking at a race of people that conquered the known world.

Wouldn't anybody? Having to shag the ugly scags in England is enough to drive any man to a foreign land.

Even our fat women are better looking than a normal British "woman".

//that's a man baby!!  No seriously.. what is it?


www.tg-films.info
 
2013-07-19 09:56:13 PM  
The British go to Marmaris now, eh?

What, Ibiza too trendy for them?
 
2013-07-19 09:59:35 PM  
The drunken British contingent seems to change locations every few years. Don't worry, folks, in 3 or 4 years, they'll be off spending their money and puking all over Croatia or somewhere.
 
2013-07-19 10:01:48 PM  

Enormous-Schwanstucker: Lt. Cheese Weasel: Stupid Turks. Open a resort town and prop up alcohol tourism and debauchery and then get offended because your Sky Wizard is a gay homosex boy butt raper?  Sure.

I was going to say something similar to this, with different and albeit slightly less colorful language. I can't, however, find any fault in your scribe.

They show disdain for outsiders yet they want our money, into the EU, etc...so bad they can taste it.

I've worked with the Turks, gov't and wireless telecom and they are abysmal to deal with. Archaic rules, laws, restrictions and other such nonsense. Listen Turks, when I am in Adana, 50 or so miles from the Syrian border trying to fix YOUR shiatty telecom infrastructure and dodge all sorts of problematic people and other dangers the last thing I need is to be bogged down with a form that wasn't filled out with every stinking detail. It's enough of a risk moving around there as it is.

Sure, the brits are giant assholes but as you so eloquently put it the Turks are begging for trouble.


There is a reason such things are called "Byzantine."
 
2013-07-19 10:03:18 PM  

KrispyKritter: it would be so much easier if the bloody tourists arrived, threw their money on the streets and departed on the next flight. oh wells.


This always seems to be the attitude of the drunken limeys too.  It's that Anglo disease of money and manners.  "I'm paying for it, so you have to take it!"

It doesn't help that the pound is worth about eleventy billion euros
 
2013-07-19 10:04:03 PM  

miss diminutive: It just seems like this is a slight variation of the Greater Internet Farkwad Theory, where people assume that just because they aren't in their hometown (or home country) they can behave like raging dipshiats.


I was going to say that you just described the British Empire, but we have this:

willfullyobscure: We conquered the entire goddamned world sailing in wooden bathtubs and wearing wool, biatches. What makes you think Brits are inoffensive, even tempered and inclined toward temperance? Don't like it? Don't serve booze or don't cater to  English speakers.

But you're looking at a race of people that  conquered the known world. Expect trouble, nod and smile, and be grateful for the trade, weaklings.


Okay.  And you lost it to a coolie in a diaper.  Plus, the Americans had to come and save your ass from some Austro-Chaplin wanker - after we beat you (twice).  By rights, your precious Queen is the bought-and-paid-for utili-coont for our maximum security prisons.  Our "special relationship" can best be described as Master (USA) and (used-up, toothless slattern (England). So strap those lips on the American dick, because your betters have told you to.

/or you could send your precious Navy across the Atlantic to try something
//Didn't think so
///slave
 
2013-07-19 10:04:16 PM  
If it's any consolation - they're not better-behaved at home

/been to Leeds on a friday night.
 
2013-07-19 10:11:46 PM  
So Europe has their own version of Tijuana?
 
2013-07-19 10:14:00 PM  
FTFA:

Drunken Brits, angry Muslims and the Med resort that's the front line in a culture war

Redundant.

*Ducks*
 
2013-07-19 10:14:22 PM  

Sockeye Sashimi: As someone who used to live and work in the Costa del Sol, España, I can attest to the truth of this.

The English, not Scots, Welsh or Irish per se, are the worst.


This is why you go to the Costa Brava in España, and Bodrum (after you set the time machine back 30 years), in Türkiye.  You may need to sincerely try to learn the language first, though.
 
2013-07-19 10:14:30 PM  

lohphat: So Europe has their own version of Tijuana?


Yep.  Leeds
 
2013-07-19 10:15:24 PM  

orangehat: From the article:

His girlfriend, Lucy Clayton, added: 'We're getting drunk next to a mosque. That might seem disrespectful. But if people don't want that to happen they shouldn't make this a tourist resort, should they?'

She's definitely an ambassador for her country.


She seems to have the same attitude and complete lack of understanding that a lot of people have in this thread. They have the attitude of "If they sell alcohol I can act like a total ass, and if they don't like it don't sell alcohol." And they completely miss the point that they don't care if you come to drink, it is you acting like beligerant assholes that they have a problem with. And no, because they sell alcohol or have a party resort doesn't mean they shoulld accept people acting like assholes.
 
2013-07-19 10:15:48 PM  
This thread again.  I can attest from personal experience in the Caribbean, Egypt, and France that the English really are this way when they go on vacation.  I've said this before - if this is how you act once the white cliffs of Dover are out of sight, then you deserved to lose your empire - Jaguar being owned by Tata is just the start.

One of the PMs, describing British decline and American ascendency, said "We shall be the Greece to their Rome".  From where I sit, Britain is imitating Rome pretty damned well.  "Let's get wasted every night and throw up all over the place!"  Spring Break in the US only lasts a few weeks; it seems like the English practice it year round.
 
2013-07-19 10:17:16 PM  
Typical dousche from Britland on a Holiday
Knew them all too well from my Navy days
Always tried to avoid them
Don't understand why there are so many people trying to help him
Dad taught me that stupidity should be painful, because it is the only way, to be some what sure, that a stupid person can learn what not to do
Leave him laying there, stupid shiat deserves it

i877.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-19 10:18:26 PM  
Why do you have to go all the way to Turkey to get drunk?
 
2013-07-19 10:20:18 PM  
I've run into a few of the stupidly intoxicated British tourists in Tokyo, and they can f*ck right off. My British friends agree that they are embarrassing twats.
 
2013-07-19 10:21:22 PM  

revrendjim: Enormous-Schwanstucker: Lt. Cheese Weasel: Stupid Turks. Open a resort town and prop up alcohol tourism and debauchery and then get offended because your Sky Wizard is a gay homosex boy butt raper?  Sure.

I was going to say something similar to this, with different and albeit slightly less colorful language. I can't, however, find any fault in your scribe.

They show disdain for outsiders yet they want our money, into the EU, etc...so bad they can taste it.

I've worked with the Turks, gov't and wireless telecom and they are abysmal to deal with. Archaic rules, laws, restrictions and other such nonsense. Listen Turks, when I am in Adana, 50 or so miles from the Syrian border trying to fix YOUR shiatty telecom infrastructure and dodge all sorts of problematic people and other dangers the last thing I need is to be bogged down with a form that wasn't filled out with every stinking detail. It's enough of a risk moving around there as it is.

Sure, the brits are giant assholes but as you so eloquently put it the Turks are begging for trouble.

There is a reason such things are called "Byzantine."


I left that word out, not wanting to be Captain Obvious but thank you for the assist.
 
2013-07-19 10:22:07 PM  

phalamir: miss diminutive: It just seems like this is a slight variation of the Greater Internet Farkwad Theory, where people assume that just because they aren't in their hometown (or home country) they can behave like raging dipshiats.

I was going to say that you just described the British Empire, but we have this:

willfullyobscure: We conquered the entire goddamned world sailing in wooden bathtubs and wearing wool, biatches. What makes you think Brits are inoffensive, even tempered and inclined toward temperance? Don't like it? Don't serve booze or don't cater to  English speakers.

But you're looking at a race of people that  conquered the known world. Expect trouble, nod and smile, and be grateful for the trade, weaklings.

Okay.  And you lost it to a coolie in a diaper.  Plus, the Americans had to come and save your ass from some Austro-Chaplin wanker - after we beat you (twice).  By rights, your precious Queen is the bought-and-paid-for utili-coont for our maximum security prisons.  Our "special relationship" can best be described as Master (USA) and (used-up, toothless slattern (England). So strap those lips on the American dick, because your betters have told you to.

/or you could send your precious Navy across the Atlantic to try something
//Didn't think so
///slave


Hey there, itg, how you doin'?
 
2013-07-19 10:23:52 PM  
Yay England.
 
2013-07-19 10:30:00 PM  
Wassa bovvah?
 
2013-07-19 10:30:53 PM  
Aussies are as bad, if not worse.
Then we have American tourists. At least the Brit and Aussie tourists have the excuse of drunkenness. The Americans are sober asshats.

Why do American tourists speak so loudly?
So you can hear them over their clothes.
You can always tell when a plane full of British tourists lands. The whining can still be heard after the engines have been shut down.
 
2013-07-19 10:31:01 PM  

Enormous-Schwanstucker: Lt. Cheese Weasel: Stupid Turks. Open a resort town and prop up alcohol tourism and debauchery and then get offended because your Sky Wizard is a gay homosex boy butt raper?  Sure.

I was going to say something similar to this, with different and albeit slightly less colorful language. I can't, however, find any fault in your scribe.

They show disdain for outsiders yet they want our money, into the EU, etc...so bad they can taste it.

I've worked with the Turks, gov't and wireless telecom and they are abysmal to deal with. Archaic rules, laws, restrictions and other such nonsense. Listen Turks, when I am in Adana, 50 or so miles from the Syrian border trying to fix YOUR shiatty telecom infrastructure and dodge all sorts of problematic people and other dangers the last thing I need is to be bogged down with a form that wasn't filled out with every stinking detail. It's enough of a risk moving around there as it is.

Sure, the brits are giant assholes but as you so eloquently put it the Turks are begging for trouble.

bluraymedia.ign.com


Listen man, I'm getting out of here. The catacombs man.
 
2013-07-19 10:33:31 PM  

whatshisname: Why do you have to go all the way to Turkey to get drunk?


This was going to be my next query.  *tiny fist*  Just get farking drunk in Liverpool and stay home ya limey twats.
 
2013-07-19 10:33:35 PM  

whatshisname: The drunken British contingent seems to change locations every few years. Don't worry, folks, in 3 or 4 years, they'll be off spending their money and puking all over Croatia or somewhere.


=============

I was watching some travel show that had done an episode about Croatia.  While they were filming in some restaurant a commotion erupted off to the side.  As it turned out there were a couple of tables of female English tourists who were trying to dine and dash. The restaurant staff dragged them back in and called the police.
 
2013-07-19 10:34:18 PM  

RayD8: Aussies are as bad, if not worse.
Then we have American tourists. At least the Brit and Aussie tourists have the excuse of drunkenness. The Americans are sober asshats.

Why do American tourists speak so loudly?
So you can hear them over their clothes.
You can always tell when a plane full of British tourists lands. The whining can still be heard after the engines have been shut down.



I assure you, when I visit Prague in November, I will be a drunk American with class.
 
2013-07-19 10:36:17 PM  
British people on "holiday" exemplify the expression, "a wretched hive of scum and villainy".

/ They shouldn't be allowed to leave those islands
 
2013-07-19 10:36:18 PM  

The_Sponge: RayD8: Aussies are as bad, if not worse.
Then we have American tourists. At least the Brit and Aussie tourists have the excuse of drunkenness. The Americans are sober asshats.

Why do American tourists speak so loudly?
So you can hear them over their clothes.
You can always tell when a plane full of British tourists lands. The whining can still be heard after the engines have been shut down.


I assure you, when I visit Prague in November, I will be a drunk American with class.


We're counting on you. And when you do a Czech whoor, we want pictures.
 
2013-07-19 10:38:19 PM  

Lt. Cheese Weasel: We're counting on you. And when you do a Czech whoor, we want pictures.


But pictures wouldn't be classy....a gentleman never kisses f*cks and tells.
 
2013-07-19 10:39:49 PM  

The_Sponge: Lt. Cheese Weasel: We're counting on you. And when you do a Czech whoor, we want pictures.

But pictures wouldn't be classy....a gentleman never kisses f*cks and tells.


Your alliances are now under study by the NSA. Deliver the BIE or hmmmmm....
 
2013-07-19 10:55:49 PM  

rubi_con_man: If it's any consolation - they're not better-behaved at home

/been to Leeds on a friday night.


But I've heard that the football matches in England are the very model of decorum.
 
2013-07-19 11:05:54 PM  
I don't think they are British....It's just a bunch of Farkers.
 
2013-07-19 11:19:12 PM  
THERE ... ARE ... FOUR ... BUTTS!

i.dailymail.co.uk
 
2013-07-19 11:21:30 PM  

miss diminutive: namatad: NOW I want Kabab

Oh god.

NEED KABAB SOONISH.


Hey if you're doing a Kebab run make mine a Koftie, I'll have the garlic source.
 
2013-07-19 11:26:31 PM  

ongbok: She seems to have the same attitude and complete lack of understanding that a lot of people have in this thread. They have the attitude of "If they sell alcohol I can act like a total ass, and if they don't like it don't sell alcohol." And they completely miss the point that they don't care if you come to drink, it is you acting like beligerant assholes that they have a problem with. And no, because they sell alcohol or have a party resort doesn't mean they shoulld accept people acting like assholes.


It's possible to drink excessively and not become a belligerent asshole?

Or are you saying that British tourists shouldn't drink excessiavahahohoahahaha!

I can't even finish that sentence.
 
2013-07-19 11:26:49 PM  
You can't just say "British" - you need to narrow it down a bit:

Top 10 Places Where People Reside Who Can't Handle Alcohol When Traveling On Vacation:

1. Northwest England, UK
2. Bayonne, New Jersey
3. Thuringia, Germany
4. London, UK
5. Central Transdanubia, Hungary
6. Kosovo
7. Cleveland, Ohio
8. Monaco
9. The Dutch
10. Breckinridge, Oklahoma
 
2013-07-19 11:29:54 PM  

Sneakytoes: THERE ... ARE ... FOUR ... BUTTS!


And I cannot lie. . .
 
2013-07-19 11:56:21 PM  

RayD8: Aussies are as bad, if not worse.
Then we have American tourists. At least the Brit and Aussie tourists have the excuse of drunkenness. The Americans are sober asshats.

Why do American tourists speak so loudly?
So you can hear them over their clothes.
You can always tell when a plane full of British tourists lands. The whining can still be heard after the engines have been shut down.


I've worked in hospitality a few years, and almost always lived in tourist towns.
Aussies and Brits are assholes to everyone when they're drunk. Americans are assholes drunk or sober - but usually only to anyone who's working a job. And they give bribes. They think every country that's not USA is a third world hellhole, and all they have to do is bribe their way in or out of anything, which is farking hilarious.
 
2013-07-20 12:01:45 AM  
i.dailymail.co.uk media.screened.com
 
2013-07-20 12:21:37 AM  
OLD NEWS IS SO EXCITING!!!

I did a Euro-backpack thing for 2 months in 1990.  In Ios we made friends with a hotel owner who was about 4 years into owning his business.   He said when the Brit tourists came stumbling off the boats he'd tell them he was sold out regardless of how many romms he had available.   He said the trouble they brought, the mess they made and their sheer jerkoffishness made it not worth giving them a room.  Americans, he said, were mostly ignorant loudmouths but they were polite, left good tips and were no trouble.
 
2013-07-20 12:21:44 AM  
I really can't see the point of travelling great distances to go on holiday, if you're going to spend half your time  drunk or hungover. Maybe it's the fact that I'm a Kiwi and NZ is so remote that making it to another country is an accomplishment in itself, but I want new experiences when I'm on holiday. I can get shiatfaced well enough at home.
 
2013-07-20 12:29:42 AM  
As I've seen plenty of Americans do it I would like to use the no true Scotsman defence.  These aren't Brits, they're chav scum, you'd get a similar thing if a bunch of innercity guido's escaped from the states and landed in a place full of sun, half naked women and very very very cheap booze.

The only people going to these destinations are the ones who want to get pissed, get in to fights and then sleep it off in the sun for a few weeks.  As a Brit I have very little problem on holiday, even in Spain because I don't go to those resorts as I'm not looking to either get pissed, in to a fight or sleep of the resultant headache.
 
2013-07-20 01:35:37 AM  

ybishop: [lh4.ggpht.com image 480x656]


"Dammit Frank keep it together."

As someone who, any minute now, will have to go to the corner bar and drag a friend back to my place, I lol'd (literally) at your pic. He had a terrible day and it's more or less a given that he's passing out here because I'm about five doors from where he's getting 'faced. If I strained my ears enough I bet I could hear him getting in a fight over darts or football stats.

/not in the mood to be in a bar tonight so my GF is keeping him company
//yes, I trust both of them, and she doesn't drink much so she can help drag his giant ass back to my place
 
2013-07-20 02:26:31 AM  
Sounds as if they have nobody to blame but themselves.  Young adults [on holiday or not] are retarded, regardless of ethnicity or nationality.  So then treat them like the retards they are.

If they're stumbling out of bars intoxicated almost to the point of collapsing, then you institute rules that forbid bartenders from giving additional drinks to people who are clearly beyond their limit.  Also, require bouncers that will toss people who are clearly beyond their limit but are still be snuck drinks.

If you clamp down on the 10% that is causing 90% of the mischief, things will sort themselves out quickly.
 
2013-07-20 02:52:40 AM  
Makes you proud to be British.

www.happysnapper.com

*wipes away a tear*
 
2013-07-20 03:00:23 AM  
Gawd bless you, Ma'am!

1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-07-20 04:07:33 AM  

Dinjiin: Sounds as if they have nobody to blame but themselves.  Young adults [on holiday or not] are retarded, regardless of ethnicity or nationality.  So then treat them like the retards they are.

If they're stumbling out of bars intoxicated almost to the point of collapsing, then you institute rules that forbid bartenders from giving additional drinks to people who are clearly beyond their limit.  Also, require bouncers that will toss people who are clearly beyond their limit but are still be snuck drinks.

If you clamp down on the 10% that is causing 90% of the mischief, things will sort themselves out quickly.


I tended bar for some years (and made more money than at my 'real' job). Putting the blame on the bartender is usually unfair. For starters, drinkers can be at the cusp of stupidity but still forming complete sentences while ordering a drink, and then hit the bathroom with three Mexican valiums. You can get a sense as to who you don't want to serve, but without any real proof you just serve them, especially in a pedestrian-based tourist town like I live in. Suddenly the bartender is liable? People turn into monsters in minutes. It wasn't my job to babysit your sorry asses, although that's what I did.
 
2013-07-20 05:04:52 AM  
British travelling: getting drunk, fighting and puking in new places full of brits.
 
2013-07-20 06:49:48 AM  

Sneakytoes: THERE ... ARE ... FOUR ... BUTTS!

[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x708]


Right there in the butt-tocks.
 
2013-07-20 07:35:24 AM  
I work in a hotel.

British soldiers are somehow worse.

It's the same drunken stupidity, but they shout "WE'RE SERVING OUR COUNTRY YOU coont!" in the middle of it.

//Why yes, I have called a couple of English commanding officers to let them know which jail their unit is being housed at currently.
///Good times, good times.
 
2013-07-20 08:56:38 AM  
Build a street full of bars and night-clubs, get offended when people get drunk and have fun. Come to Turkey!
 
2013-07-20 08:57:32 AM  
My eyes filled with tears of pride reading that article.

Still got it, by God. We've still got it.
 
2013-07-20 09:02:02 AM  
man this same thing happened to me once when I went to Rhodes, there was a special for the brits to fly there dirt cheap and they just behaved like uncaged animals.  The funny thing was, i was in my early 20's and when i saw how they got absolutely completely shiatfaced hammered i basically decided to stop partying like i would normally and decided to really scale back on my alcohol consumption.  Honestly watching that was something between a tragedy and horror story it really was.
 
2013-07-20 10:09:41 AM  

miss diminutive: It just seems like this is a slight variation of the Greater Internet Farkwad Theory, where people assume that just because they aren't in their hometown (or home country) they can behave like raging dipshiats.


Speaking as someone who's lived in Florida for 32 years, I couldn't agree more. The fact that tourism negates us having a state income tax is the only thing keeping us from wholesale tourist slaughter. Oh, and the fact that they do a pretty go job of offing themselves, like feeding the nice alligator by hand and petting the pretty snake and riding a sailboard during a hurricane....
 
2013-07-20 10:10:49 AM  

See You Next Tuesday: Judging from your horrible command of YOUR OWN LANGUAGE, I'd wager you've woken up in your fair share of vomit-puddles, some of which were yours, some not.


My language?  Dear boy I'm speaking fluent American other wise you inbred retards complain.  Don't like it?  Don't complain when I spell COLOUR correctly.

Besides aren't you supposed to be busy raping babies just like your daddy did to you?  Go on you know you love it.
 
2013-07-20 10:32:58 AM  
I never thought I'd think, "where's the Wahabists when you need them?"
 
2013-07-20 11:43:53 AM  
It was the Aussies in Spain. If there were more than 3 of them together you could here them from 2 blocks away.
 
2013-07-20 02:18:38 PM  

whatshisname: Why do you have to go all the way to Turkey to get drunk?



FYI, I'm not a drinker and don't get the whole "drink yourself stupid" idea either.. 
But why spend the money to do it? This whole concept is the dumbest thing ever..

 I'm going to spend a bunch of money to fly to another country and stay in a resort and do the exact same thing I could do at home, except here i get to offend a bunch of people and give my country a bad name
in the process..

Good grief..Just stay home and barf all over your own streets and let your own cops
shuffle your stupid butt home. I imagine it's also just wonderful for all of the non-party crowd who
go there to just relax, see the sights and get some warmth..They have to put up with these a-holes
in town and in their resorts.
 
2013-07-20 03:36:05 PM  
Cheap flights, cheap hotels, cheap drinks, too much sun - what do you expect? Even the dregs of British society can afford a week at one of these shiathole resorts. Our drinking culture is terrible though, it was only when I went abroad for the first time that I realised that drunken fights, men walking round with bloodied shirts and head-wounds, drunk women passed out on the street etc wasn't normal.

I can say that the Russians are the up and comers in the "Idiot Abroad" stakes though. More and more of them can now afford to go to these types of resorts too and they're probably the rudest, most ignorant bunch of people I've ever seen. Don't know how to queue, treat the waiters/hotel staff etc like dirt. On the plus side, the wives/mistresses are usually much younger than the men and dress like prostitutes so they're not all bad I suppose.
 
2013-07-20 08:15:54 PM  
I am proud Canadians haven't been mentioned once in this thread. We turned out okay.

Though speaking from experience, Canadians can be shiatheads as well, especially in Thailand. But everyone is, over there. Hated visiting Thailand. Should have stayed in the Philippines.
 
2013-07-20 10:33:44 PM  

Burke Turkey: I am proud Canadians haven't been mentioned once in this thread. We turned out okay.

Though speaking from experience, Canadians can be shiatheads as well, especially in Thailand. But everyone is, over there. Hated visiting Thailand. Should have stayed in the Philippines.


Canadians apologize after they vomit.  They even apologize to the vomit.
 
2013-07-21 03:36:57 AM  

FrancoFile: Burke Turkey: I am proud Canadians haven't been mentioned once in this thread. We turned out okay.

Though speaking from experience, Canadians can be shiatheads as well, especially in Thailand. But everyone is, over there. Hated visiting Thailand. Should have stayed in the Philippines.

Canadians apologize after they vomit.  They even apologize to the vomit.


www.ethansenglishcafe.com
 
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