If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Slate)   College hookups are a myth, unless you are "white and wealthy," claims columnist who was too ugly to be anyone's regret   (slate.com) divider line 189
    More: Fail, quantitative research, ethnic stereotype, sexual freedom, colleges  
•       •       •

9236 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jul 2013 at 10:13 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



189 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-07-19 10:59:30 PM  
Also, you guys are such assholes. If the author had bangs, brown hair, and eyebrows you guys would be all over her.
 
2013-07-19 11:01:03 PM  
blog.zap2it.com

Is it just me?
 
2013-07-19 11:01:05 PM  
I never understood hookups. I always kept coming back for more until I couldn't get any more.
 
2013-07-19 11:03:00 PM  
And there are also the ones who voluntarily stayed out of the pool.

I was a committed christian during college. *siiiiiiigh*

Also poor.
 
2013-07-19 11:03:47 PM  
ArmednHammered:
/enjoy the month of TF

Oh sweet, thanks dude!
 
2013-07-19 11:04:32 PM  

Honest Bender: Only about 40 percent of those hookups include sexual intercourse

I think the author might be confused as to what exactly a "hookup" is.  Here's a hint: It involves sex.


Not true.  Hooking up means (to some people) simply going home with someone, which could only mean making out.

Also, to the author: HAHAHAHAHAHA.  Wealthy?  Sorry, let me repeat: HAHAHA!GAHAHAOHMYHAHA. Anyone in college is fair game.
 
2013-07-19 11:04:53 PM  

spidermilk: Also, you guys are such assholes. If the author had bangs, brown hair, and eyebrows you guys would be all over her.


Actually, all us guys require are boobs, vagina, and heartbeat.  And the heartbeat is negotiable.
 
2013-07-19 11:05:09 PM  

miss diminutive: sugarhi: I'm writing my dissertation on hookups

I really want to sit in on your supervisory committee meetings.


I think that depends on your PI. I only had one committee meeting because my PI was like, we don't need their opinions. Still got those opinions when you went to present seminar every year anyway, you were just less prepared for the onslaught.
 
2013-07-19 11:05:25 PM  

blugenes: spidermilk: I banged more girls in college than you guys. And they were hotter. And I knew them less than you knew yours. And it was way easier and I was trying way less hard than you guys. The author is a fool, I'd never hookup with that kind of chick.

If you had a dozen 2s or 3s that is your decision, but quantity does not always equate to quality.  Random sex has its allure, but I think when you know the partner and what they like it makes things *so* much more interesting.  So keep your numbers, I'll cherish my own experiences without regrets.


Hey, I agree with you fully, I am just mocking the studmans in this thread because this is the internet where bragging doesn't count. Females never brag this way because we have tact. And really, cherishing your own experiences without regrets is the most important thing.
 
2013-07-19 11:05:40 PM  

spidermilk: Also, you guys are such assholes. If the author had bangs, brown hair, and eyebrows you guys would be all over her.


Yes?
 
2013-07-19 11:05:48 PM  
I didn't read the article and I'm not particularly handsome but I did go to college. All I have to say is that college is a non-stop opportunity shop. No where else in life is a man surrounded by more willing and better than average looking women. All that is necessary is the want and you will get something to satisfy your desires. The only thing that slows you down are your youthful ideals.
 
2013-07-19 11:06:13 PM  

GeneralJim: Subby: "claims columnist who was too ugly to be anyone's regret".
I would hit her without regrets, then take her to dinner and a movie, and hit again. Methinks subby is confused.
[lisawadedotcom.files.wordpress.com image 450x450]
Dr. Lisa Wade, PhD.


Put me down as someone who thinks she`s cute.
 
2013-07-19 11:07:02 PM  
ph0rk was white, but poor in college.

ph0rk did all right.
 
2013-07-19 11:08:13 PM  
It's funny when straight people talk about hook ups

/ when I was in college it was one a week on average but sometimes twice a day and not sure how to count fourgys
 
2013-07-19 11:08:14 PM  

spidermilk: blugenes: spidermilk: I banged more girls in college than you guys. And they were hotter. And I knew them less than you knew yours. And it was way easier and I was trying way less hard than you guys. The author is a fool, I'd never hookup with that kind of chick.

If you had a dozen 2s or 3s that is your decision, but quantity does not always equate to quality.  Random sex has its allure, but I think when you know the partner and what they like it makes things *so* much more interesting.  So keep your numbers, I'll cherish my own experiences without regrets.

Hey, I agree with you fully, I am just mocking the studmans in this thread because this is the internet where bragging doesn't count. Females never brag this way because we have tact. And really, cherishing your own experiences without regrets is the most important thing.


Self deprecation is still OK though right? Or is that also sad, but from the other end of the spectrum.?
 
2013-07-19 11:11:07 PM  

blugenes: http://lisa-wade.com/

Here's the author's website.  I disagree with her article, as a college student who looked about 2/3 - 3/4 actual age I still had several hookup opportunities.  My family is not rich, I took 17-18 hours a semester most of the time, look like Harry Potter crossed with Peter Parker, and there were plenty of competitors on the ground, yet I had opportunities on a semi-regular basis.  Perhaps things have changed in the last so many years, but I get the feeling that surveys are not the best way to judge these things.  There is certainly a lot of peer pressure on these kids to be Dionysian, but many manage and do their best to endure those years.  I do find it interesting that an associate professor is a Chair, but given the lacerations in education recently maybe it is just a sign of the times.


wonderful example of not writing the way you speak
 
2013-07-19 11:11:33 PM  

Abuse Liability: spidermilk: blugenes: spidermilk: I banged more girls in college than you guys. And they were hotter. And I knew them less than you knew yours. And it was way easier and I was trying way less hard than you guys. The author is a fool, I'd never hookup with that kind of chick.

If you had a dozen 2s or 3s that is your decision, but quantity does not always equate to quality.  Random sex has its allure, but I think when you know the partner and what they like it makes things *so* much more interesting.  So keep your numbers, I'll cherish my own experiences without regrets.

Hey, I agree with you fully, I am just mocking the studmans in this thread because this is the internet where bragging doesn't count. Females never brag this way because we have tact. And really, cherishing your own experiences without regrets is the most important thing.

Self deprecation is still OK though right? Or is that also sad, but from the other end of the spectrum.?


Anyone less humble than me is a braggart.

Anyone more humble than me is employing false humility.
 
2013-07-19 11:12:29 PM  

Honest Bender: Only about 40 percent of those hookups include sexual intercourse

I think the author might be confused as to what exactly a "hookup" is.  Here's a hint: It involves sex.


I assume they mean 40 percent are just oral. Obviously there's gotta be some sex involved.
 
2013-07-19 11:13:27 PM  

NobleHam: 60 percent


FTFM
 
2013-07-19 11:14:00 PM  

Abuse Liability: spidermilk: blugenes: spidermilk: I banged more girls in college than you guys. And they were hotter. And I knew them less than you knew yours. And it was way easier and I was trying way less hard than you guys. The author is a fool, I'd never hookup with that kind of chick.

Self deprecation is still OK though right? Or is that also sad, but from the other end of the spectrum.?


I love self deprecation as long as you don't really hate yourself....
 
2013-07-19 11:14:31 PM  

spidermilk: blugenes: spidermilk: I banged more girls in college than you guys. And they were hotter. And I knew them less than you knew yours. And it was way easier and I was trying way less hard than you guys. The author is a fool, I'd never hookup with that kind of chick.

If you had a dozen 2s or 3s that is your decision, but quantity does not always equate to quality.  Random sex has its allure, but I think when you know the partner and what they like it makes things *so* much more interesting.  So keep your numbers, I'll cherish my own experiences without regrets.

Hey, I agree with you fully, I am just mocking the studmans in this thread because this is the internet where bragging doesn't count. Females never brag this way because we have tact. And really, cherishing your own experiences without regrets is the most important thing.


Women may not brag about sex, and that is debatable, but the least tactful people I know are women.
 
2013-07-19 11:14:48 PM  

ph0rk: Abuse Liability: spidermilk: blugenes: spidermilk: I banged more girls in college than you guys. And they were hotter. And I knew them less than you knew yours. And it was way easier and I was trying way less hard than you guys. The author is a fool, I'd never hookup with that kind of chick.

If you had a dozen 2s or 3s that is your decision, but quantity does not always equate to quality.  Random sex has its allure, but I think when you know the partner and what they like it makes things *so* much more interesting.  So keep your numbers, I'll cherish my own experiences without regrets.

Hey, I agree with you fully, I am just mocking the studmans in this thread because this is the internet where bragging doesn't count. Females never brag this way because we have tact. And really, cherishing your own experiences without regrets is the most important thing.

Self deprecation is still OK though right? Or is that also sad, but from the other end of the spectrum.?

Anyone less humble than me is a braggart.

Anyone more humble than me is employing false humility.


I have a huge package, but never get laid... analyze that!
 
2013-07-19 11:14:54 PM  

DubtodaIll: I didn't read the article and I'm not particularly handsome but I did go to college. All I have to say is that college is a non-stop opportunity shop. No where else in life is a man surrounded by more willing and better than average looking women. All that is necessary is the want and you will get something to satisfy your desires. The only thing that slows you down are your youthful ideals.


What percentage of the girls were better than average looking?

At my college it was only 50%.
 
2013-07-19 11:15:02 PM  

spidermilk: Abuse Liability: spidermilk: blugenes: spidermilk: I banged more girls in college than you guys. And they were hotter. And I knew them less than you knew yours. And it was way easier and I was trying way less hard than you guys. The author is a fool, I'd never hookup with that kind of chick.

Self deprecation is still OK though right? Or is that also sad, but from the other end of the spectrum.?

I love self deprecation as long as you don't really hate yourself....


It is pretty hard to make it funny if you don't hate yourself at least a little bit.
 
2013-07-19 11:15:30 PM  

NobleHam: Honest Bender: Only about 40 percent of those hookups include sexual intercourse

I think the author might be confused as to what exactly a "hookup" is.  Here's a hint: It involves sex.

I assume they mean 40 percent are just oral. Obviously there's gotta be some sex involved.


I thought that too. Now I'm really confused and have no idea what hook up means. And now I feel old.
 
2013-07-19 11:15:38 PM  

megarian: Whatever the fark I did in college, apparently I did it wrong.

Does anyone have a graph? I'm confused.


remember your formula for a graph?  y=mx+b?  To the author, race is the m (where white =2, and apparently everything else equals like .01), x is the amount of times you attempt, b is your tax bracket, and y is the number of hookups.  Howe'er, in my experience college hook ups are a bit more complicated (and by complicated I mean easier and awesome).  y=(number attempts)(how attractive you are)(amount of game)(BAC of target)+(no one gives a shiat about your money so equivalent to one)(ability to crack a joke).

Now, if you paid attention to your calc one course you'd know that your rate of hooking up is the derivative in regards to x (#of attempts).  So the more you attempt, the more you bag.

Here's the tricky part, some a hole is going to make you take the anti-derivative of this for no reason.  You will never use it in your career unless you're designing a circuit or water flow (or gasp, you're a physicist), so what you do is flip him(or her, we are not sexist in mathematics) the bird, give the appropriate amount of high fives as you walk out the class, then get laid at the next party due to rumors and notoriety.  This is an increase to your x factor by 2.

/sorry this is what happens when I'm drunk
 
2013-07-19 11:16:21 PM  
So, how much money is Drew making from all these nonsense Slate and Salon links?
 
2013-07-19 11:17:37 PM  
WHY did math just happen?
 
2013-07-19 11:17:38 PM  

lake_huron: DubtodaIll: I didn't read the article and I'm not particularly handsome but I did go to college. All I have to say is that college is a non-stop opportunity shop. No where else in life is a man surrounded by more willing and better than average looking women. All that is necessary is the want and you will get something to satisfy your desires. The only thing that slows you down are your youthful ideals.

What percentage of the girls were better than average looking?

At my college it was only 50%.


Depends on the school.

Yes, yes, I know what you mean - related to the general population though, it depends on the school.
 
2013-07-19 11:17:44 PM  
Anyone else get the feeling that people have faaaaar too much time on their hands nowadays?
 
2013-07-19 11:18:03 PM  

fullyautomatic: Being just out of college, I can attest that the term "hookup" doesn't mean just sex anymore like it used to. Weird how that changed, since hookup used to specifically mean just sex, usually without any of the other bases. Also, anyone can have sex in college, regardless of color or cash.


I guess the people who weren't getting laid wanted to have "hook ups" too, so they started saying they hooked up when they brushed her arm in bio lab, or whatever, and now the meaning has drifted.

Like how "nookie" used to mean a vagina.
 
2013-07-19 11:18:10 PM  
I was white, poor, and hooked up with a bunch of nonwhite girls in college.  Was unaware this made me unique.
 
2013-07-19 11:18:34 PM  

lake_huron: DubtodaIll: I didn't read the article and I'm not particularly handsome but I did go to college. All I have to say is that college is a non-stop opportunity shop. No where else in life is a man surrounded by more willing and better than average looking women. All that is necessary is the want and you will get something to satisfy your desires. The only thing that slows you down are your youthful ideals.

What percentage of the girls were better than average looking?

At my college it was only 50%.


I went to Wake Forest so 8 out of 10 girls were 7s or better.
 
2013-07-19 11:18:57 PM  

Owangotang: spidermilk: blugenes: spidermilk: I banged more girls in college than you guys. And they were hotter. And I knew them less than you knew yours. And it was way easier and I was trying way less hard than you guys. The author is a fool, I'd never hookup with that kind of chick.

If you had a dozen 2s or 3s that is your decision, but quantity does not always equate to quality.  Random sex has its allure, but I think when you know the partner and what they like it makes things *so* much more interesting.  So keep your numbers, I'll cherish my own experiences without regrets.

Hey, I agree with you fully, I am just mocking the studmans in this thread because this is the internet where bragging doesn't count. Females never brag this way because we have tact. And really, cherishing your own experiences without regrets is the most important thing.

Women may not brag about sex, and that is debatable, but the least tactful people I know are women.


Yeah, not so sure its tact... more like, you don't brag about being able to convert oxygen into ATP using an electron transport chain(hint:because it's as easy as breathing), whereas for guys, its a challenge. To verify this, have a man and woman walk into a bar and request sex from the patrons and see who gets more bites.
 
2013-07-19 11:20:09 PM  

GORDON: Like how "nookie" used to mean a vagina.


I will never understand the backwards hat ranting of fred durst
 
2013-07-19 11:21:45 PM  

thecpt: megarian: Whatever the fark I did in college, apparently I did it wrong.

Does anyone have a graph? I'm confused.

remember your formula for a graph?  y=mx+b?  To the author, race is the m (where white =2, and apparently everything else equals like .01), x is the amount of times you attempt, b is your tax bracket, and y is the number of hookups.  Howe'er, in my experience college hook ups are a bit more complicated (and by complicated I mean easier and awesome).  y=(number attempts)(how attractive you are)(amount of game)(BAC of target)+(no one gives a shiat about your money so equivalent to one)(ability to crack a joke).

Now, if you paid attention to your calc one course you'd know that your rate of hooking up is the derivative in regards to x (#of attempts).  So the more you attempt, the more you bag.

Here's the tricky part, some a hole is going to make you take the anti-derivative of this for no reason.  You will never use it in your career unless you're designing a circuit or water flow (or gasp, you're a physicist), so what you do is flip him(or her, we are not sexist in mathematics) the bird, give the appropriate amount of high fives as you walk out the class, then get laid at the next party due to rumors and notoriety.  This is an increase to your x factor by 2.

/sorry this is what happens when I'm drunk


I wish someone had given me this formula when I was in college.  I was way too shy to hook up.  Hell, I'm still way shy.  I'm only a raging asshole on the internet.
 
2013-07-19 11:21:47 PM  
Hey, I didn't have to be a virgin until postgraduate school to figure that out. Most of us learn that truth at seventeen.

A brown eyed girl in hand me downs
Whose name I never could pronounce
Said: "Pity please the ones who serve
They only get what they deserve"
The rich relationed hometown queen
Marries into what she needs
With a guarantee of company
And haven for the elderly...
 
2013-07-19 11:24:43 PM  

Honest Bender: Only about 40 percent of those hookups include sexual intercourse

I think the author might be confused as to what exactly a "hookup" is.


Parcheesi and heavy petting?
 
2013-07-19 11:26:08 PM  

Archimedes' Principal: So, how much money is Drew making from all these nonsense Slate and Salon links?


More than you want to think about, but that's another thread. And that is this authors problem, she's thinking too much. Chill the fark out and go get laid, it isn't as difficult as she's making it out to be.
 
2013-07-19 11:26:22 PM  
everything is a myth

unless you're white and wealthy
 
2013-07-19 11:26:49 PM  

OgreMagi: I wish someone had given me this formula when I was in college. I was way too shy to hook up. Hell, I'm still way shy. I'm only a raging asshole on the internet.


moi aussi, mon ami.  I joined the engineering fraternity on campus, so it was a sacrifice; would you like to be emerged in social situations with cute girls and be made fun of on Fark for no reason for the rest of your life?  Trial and error was my friend.
 
2013-07-19 11:32:52 PM  
I'm white, but if by "wealthy" you mean "buried under a mountain of student debt and working at the local McD's just to help pay for your expenses" then yeah, I guess I qualify. But getting laid in college never really cost me anything. Every weekend some fraternity or sports team would have a party and include free booze.

Difficulty: Find a baseball or soccer player that has only had one or two and keep him from drinking enough to throw up on your shoes later. Wear a v-neck or tube top and a pleated skirt.

Disclaimer: The above might not work for the guys, so if you're throwing a party with free booze, just look for the chick with the v-neck and pleated skirt.
 
2013-07-19 11:33:27 PM  

Abuse Liability: Yeah, not so sure its tact... more like, you don't brag about being able to convert oxygen into ATP using an electron transport chain(hint:because it's as easy as breathing), whereas for guys, its a challenge. To verify this, have a man and woman walk into a bar and request sex from the patrons and see who gets more bites.


That just sounds funny.

"Pardon me miss, might I trouble you for some sex?
 
2013-07-19 11:35:01 PM  

thecpt: megarian: Whatever the fark I did in college, apparently I did it wrong.

Does anyone have a graph? I'm confused.

remember your formula for a graph?  y=mx+b?  To the author, race is the m (where white =2, and apparently everything else equals like .01), x is the amount of times you attempt, b is your tax bracket, and y is the number of hookups.  Howe'er, in my experience college hook ups are a bit more complicated (and by complicated I mean easier and awesome).  y=(number attempts)(how attractive you are)(amount of game)(BAC of target)+(no one gives a shiat about your money so equivalent to one)(ability to crack a joke).

Now, if you paid attention to your calc one course you'd know that your rate of hooking up is the derivative in regards to x (#of attempts).  So the more you attempt, the more you bag.

Here's the tricky part, some a hole is going to make you take the anti-derivative of this for no reason.  You will never use it in your career unless you're designing a circuit or water flow (or gasp, you're a physicist), so what you do is flip him(or her, we are not sexist in mathematics) the bird, give the appropriate amount of high fives as you walk out the class, then get laid at the next party due to rumors and notoriety.  This is an increase to your x factor by 2.

/sorry this is what happens when I'm drunk


That made sense.

I am afraid. Help.
 
2013-07-19 11:36:44 PM  

miss diminutive: Abuse Liability: Yeah, not so sure its tact... more like, you don't brag about being able to convert oxygen into ATP using an electron transport chain(hint:because it's as easy as breathing), whereas for guys, its a challenge. To verify this, have a man and woman walk into a bar and request sex from the patrons and see who gets more bites.

That just sounds funny.

"Pardon me miss, might I trouble you for some sex?


I picture you saying that like the grey poupon commercial. And yes, it would work better with a British accent.
 
2013-07-19 11:36:58 PM  

Abuse Liability: I always thought it was competition that kept you from getting any.  Me and my friends were all white and not wealthy.  My roommates hooked up all the time, but I never could seem to close the deal often (not going to say never... but not often).

/only relatively ugly
//don't check profile

.

You're adorable, and so is your family.
 
2013-07-19 11:38:14 PM  

supayoda: I'm white, but if by "wealthy" you mean "buried under a mountain of student debt and working at the local McD's just to help pay for your expenses" then yeah, I guess I qualify. But getting laid in college never really cost me anything. Every weekend some fraternity or sports team would have a party and include free booze.

Difficulty: Find a baseball or soccer player that has only had one or two and keep him from drinking enough to throw up on your shoes later. Wear a v-neck or tube top and a pleated skirt.

Disclaimer: The above might not work for the guys, so if you're throwing a party with free booze, just look for the chick with the v-neck and pleated skirt.


You're over thinking this. Do you have breasts? Congratulations, you're getting laid tonight.
 
2013-07-19 11:38:22 PM  

Abuse Liability: ph0rk: Abuse Liability: spidermilk: blugenes: spidermilk: I banged more girls in college than you guys. And they were hotter. And I knew them less than you knew yours. And it was way easier and I was trying way less hard than you guys. The author is a fool, I'd never hookup with that kind of chick.

If you had a dozen 2s or 3s that is your decision, but quantity does not always equate to quality.  Random sex has its allure, but I think when you know the partner and what they like it makes things *so* much more interesting.  So keep your numbers, I'll cherish my own experiences without regrets.

Hey, I agree with you fully, I am just mocking the studmans in this thread because this is the internet where bragging doesn't count. Females never brag this way because we have tact. And really, cherishing your own experiences without regrets is the most important thing.

Self deprecation is still OK though right? Or is that also sad, but from the other end of the spectrum.?

Anyone less humble than me is a braggart.

Anyone more humble than me is employing false humility.

I have a huge package, but never get laid... analyze that!


That's funny, because I have a smaller cock, and get more pussy than anybody I know.  you can see me on /r/tinydick
 
2013-07-19 11:38:34 PM  

miss diminutive: Abuse Liability: Yeah, not so sure its tact... more like, you don't brag about being able to convert oxygen into ATP using an electron transport chain(hint:because it's as easy as breathing), whereas for guys, its a challenge. To verify this, have a man and woman walk into a bar and request sex from the patrons and see who gets more bites.

That just sounds funny.

"Pardon me miss, might I trouble you for some sex?


Don't be so crass, he's got a valid and unavoidable point. The qualifications are far for stringent for a man to be a man whore than it is for a woman to be a slut.
 
2013-07-19 11:39:17 PM  
Seriously, do researchers really believe that college kids tell the truth in these surveys? And yes I am aware there are maths to control for lying on these surveys but I don't think even math is up to the job of separating truth from lies when dealing with the alcohol-blurred memories/regrets/fantasies of a bunch of college kids.
 
Displayed 50 of 189 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


Report