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(Fark)   My idea for Farkcon '14. A rippin' and a tearin' trip to Hedonism II. DIT   (fark.com) divider line 601
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2214 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jul 2013 at 4:58 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



601 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-07-19 03:36:21 PM  
I've never been to Farkcon and it seems like everyone always had a good time, but last year's seemed to be planned kind of last minute so I thought I would try to get the ball rolling with an unsolicited suggestion to Drew and the higher ups. The guys with real pull. Anyway, we all know there's always been a lot of sexual tension among us so why not take steps to resolve that at the world's premiere clothing optional adult beach resort, Hedonism II?
I can provide a laundry hamper of my communal sex toys and maybe if we get enough people to sign up we can get a group discount on anal lube. I've already starting to plan some fun group activities. Helicopter dick competition, twerk off, chili eating contest (I make it with beans, shut up purists), a double handy sesh, and a biggest dick contest. We all know a bunch of you guys can't stop telling us about your supposed monster dongs. Now it's time to put up or shut up. I feel like it should be by total volume. Any of you engineering types know the best way to do this?
To answer some concerns, yes the facility is clean. The assured me the ringworm problem is long gone and they keep the hot tubs highly cholrinated and skim them every hour.
Just imagine the moment when you and one of your most hated trolls are in the musty dungeon room and your eyes meet. Something magic happens. This stuff can really happen!
So, it's not until April so you have plenty of time to work on your beach bod and grow out your ponytail. Rumor has it, one of the mods is into punishment play...
One last thing, bring extra towels. They don't provide them to you for health reasons and believe me, there is going to be of goo.

sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net
 
2013-07-19 03:36:25 PM  
Nice ponytail.
 
2013-07-19 03:36:39 PM  
It isn't going to suck itself.

BIG NAKED PARTY Y'ALL!
 
2013-07-19 03:37:22 PM  
This sounds pretty great.  Someone make sure to take notes.
 
2013-07-19 03:37:33 PM  
Oh, f*ck yes!
 
2013-07-19 03:37:43 PM  
Austin 2014
 
2013-07-19 03:37:52 PM  

Actual Farking: Any of you engineering types know the best way to do this?


Water displacement method.
 
2013-07-19 03:38:06 PM  
GAH!
 
2013-07-19 03:38:15 PM  
I'm in.
 
2013-07-19 03:39:11 PM  
GROOOOOSSSSS
 
2013-07-19 03:39:14 PM  

Actual Farking: Any of you engineering types know the best way to do this?


Water displacement, obviously.
 
2013-07-19 03:39:15 PM  

rappy: I'm in.


\o/

I have a super-tight speedo that matches today's Hawaiian shirt.
 
2013-07-19 03:39:26 PM  
Cause I may be bad,
but I'm perfectly good at it
Sex in the air, I don't care,
I love the smell of it
Sticks and stones may break my bones
But chains and whips excite me

For SPCMike

/Pitch Perfect high five
 
2013-07-19 03:39:42 PM  
Ripping...tearing....

No I think I've already had enough of that a couple months ago.
 
2013-07-19 03:39:51 PM  

Ponzholio: Actual Farking: Any of you engineering types know the best way to do this?

Water displacement method.


Dang, I was way slow...
 
2013-07-19 03:40:08 PM  
I'll bring godzildo.
 
2013-07-19 03:40:15 PM  
EWWWWWWWWWWWW
 
2013-07-19 03:40:21 PM  
I know a state patrolmen and his wife go to that place every year and just rave about it.
 
2013-07-19 03:40:24 PM  
The fun of being pampered at a resort and the joy of a journey of sexual exploration with your fellow farkers. What could be better?!?!?
 
2013-07-19 03:40:33 PM  
Time to dust off the horse cock dildo
 
2013-07-19 03:40:49 PM  
Can I get a fark shop customized vibrator?
 
2013-07-19 03:40:54 PM  
been there a few times, would go again.
 
2013-07-19 03:40:57 PM  
Ill have to start perfecting the dick swang
 
2013-07-19 03:41:19 PM  

skybreaker: Time to dust off the horse cock dildo


You let that thing get dusty?
 
2013-07-19 03:41:31 PM  
*hork*
 
2013-07-19 03:41:35 PM  
lol
 
2013-07-19 03:41:38 PM  
This could take creepy to a whole new level.
 
2013-07-19 03:41:47 PM  
It's a metaphor, ami!
 
2013-07-19 03:41:49 PM  

ami5000: skybreaker: Time to dust off the horse cock dildo

You let that thing get dusty?


The horse it's modeled from was named Dusty.
 
2013-07-19 03:41:53 PM  

EviLincoln: I know a state patrolmen


Is he schizophrenic?
 
2013-07-19 03:41:54 PM  

Piizzadude: been there a few times, would go again.


Really?
 
2013-07-19 03:42:13 PM  

myschief: Cause I may be bad,
but I'm perfectly good at it
Sex in the air, I don't care,
I love the smell of it
Sticks and stones may break my bones
But chains and whips excite me

For SPCMike

/Pitch Perfect high five


High five!
 
2013-07-19 03:42:13 PM  

ami5000: skybreaker: Time to dust off the horse cock dildo

You let that thing get dusty?


The dust just clings to the lube.
 
2013-07-19 03:42:28 PM  

Piizzadude: been there a few times, would go again.


Great, another weirdo.
 
2013-07-19 03:42:28 PM  

myschief: I love the smell of it


Oh god, the smell.
 
2013-07-19 03:42:34 PM  

Actual Farking: Piizzadude: been there a few times, would go again.

Really?


Got any stories?
 
2013-07-19 03:42:44 PM  
There is not a thread more perfect for this:
i.imgur.com
 
2013-07-19 03:42:49 PM  
If farkers are going to a resort named after a vice it should be Gluttony
 
2013-07-19 03:43:00 PM  

Ceteris Paribus says: EviLincoln: I know a state patrolmen

Is he schizophrenic?


Sigh. No. Other than the hedonism thing, he's actually a very with it guy.
 
2013-07-19 03:43:35 PM  
We need to get this biatch greened.
 
2013-07-19 03:43:49 PM  

Go Fast Turn Left: rappy: I'm in.

\o/

I have a super-tight speedo that matches today's Hawaiian shirt.


I...
 
2013-07-19 03:43:54 PM  

EviLincoln: Ceteris Paribus says: EviLincoln: I know a state patrolmen

Is he schizophrenic?

Sigh. No. Other than the hedonism thing, he's actually a very with it guy.


You uhhhh, you didn't get that I see.
 
2013-07-19 03:44:03 PM  
I've been there. It was definitely different than any other vacation, that's for sure. The worst part was all the employees trying to creep on the action. Really skeevy.
 
2013-07-19 03:44:16 PM  
I've been to a couple fark gatherings, and both times everyone was way cool and nice, but there's always one creepy person who's there and doesn't talk to anyone. You want that person naked, seeing you naked?
 
2013-07-19 03:44:44 PM  

imapirate: I've been to a couple fark gatherings, and both times everyone was way cool and nice, but there's always one creepy person who's there and doesn't talk to anyone. You want that person naked, seeing you naked?


I bet they'd feel less awkward about masturbating in the corner. That's for sure.
 
2013-07-19 03:45:04 PM  

skybreaker: EviLincoln: Ceteris Paribus says: EviLincoln: I know a state patrolmen

Is he schizophrenic?

Sigh. No. Other than the hedonism thing, he's actually a very with it guy.

You uhhhh, you didn't get that I see.


I got it.
 
2013-07-19 03:45:19 PM  
I've never felt awkward about masturbating in the corner.
 
2013-07-19 03:45:25 PM  
Don't you have to have some minimum requirements to go to that sort of thing, like being able to fit through the airplane door?
 
2013-07-19 03:45:30 PM  

naughtyrev: I've been there. It was definitely different than any other vacation, that's for sure. The worst part was all the employees trying to creep on the action. Really skeevy.


I want a resort that is staffed by a bunch of Dr. Doofenshmirtzes
 
2013-07-19 03:45:41 PM  
VOTE THIS PUPPY UP
 
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