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(Gothamist)   Contest to crown Brooklyn's tiniest penis will be held tomorrow. Contest delayed to get permits allowing extra parking for all the monster trucks   (gothamist.com) divider line 121
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10848 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jul 2013 at 3:37 PM (51 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-07-19 04:21:45 PM

TomD9938: Almost all the Hummers I see these days are being driven by brothers.  And they... well... you know.


I've seen plenty of black men naked (on the internet) with average size members. I bet they're all thinking "wtf? I'm black, but I don't have a big dick. explain that one."
 
2013-07-19 04:22:27 PM
I must hurry. My people need me.

/ummm ......
 
2013-07-19 04:24:10 PM

Molavian: Tiniest penis in New York?  First, start by looking at the guys.

Or is that balls they lack?


This thread was starting to get confusing.  Thank god the editor of  New York Cock Aficionadoshowed up to tell us what was what.
 
2013-07-19 04:28:13 PM
As someone who's fulgy but has a huge cawk I should enter just so I can see if I can pick up a girl after I drop the robe and show off my impressive member amd am like guess I lose.
 
2013-07-19 04:32:50 PM

ChipNASA: So they're going to crown King Needledick of Long island?


Why did I read that as "King Nickleback"?
 
2013-07-19 04:33:01 PM

Loaf's Tray: Society comes down unfairly on us "growers"...I mean it's still small, but it's not THAT small!


Yes it is

Most fun I ever had was two weeks with a Danish girl who'd only ever been with show'ers.

She loved making it grow.

/so did I ...
 
2013-07-19 04:35:20 PM

Molavian: Tiniest penis in New York?  First, start by looking at the guys.

Or is that balls they lack?


thank god Fark has an expert on the subject
 
2013-07-19 04:38:39 PM
Winner of contest gets to join for threeway ...

encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
 
2013-07-19 04:38:41 PM
Anything under 8" qualifies for the tiny dick contest? Guess I should sign up...twice.
 
2013-07-19 04:39:41 PM

reillan: ChipNASA: So they're going to crown King Needledick of Long island?

Why did I read that as "King Nickleback"?


Same thing.
 
2013-07-19 04:45:10 PM
This belongs here then...

dl.dropboxusercontent.com
 
2013-07-19 04:47:07 PM
Should be held in Jamaica NY, so I have an excuse to pull out the Wendy joke
 
2013-07-19 04:49:51 PM
Clients of Rabbi Shlomo, "The shakey handed mohel" excluded.
 
2013-07-19 04:49:54 PM

Loaf's Tray: Society comes down unfairly on us "growers"...I mean it's still small, but it's not THAT small!


Why would that be such a big deal? Besides other men in changerooms and doctors, everyone else who sees your junk is going to see it in it's "enhanced" state anyway.
 
2013-07-19 04:51:18 PM

Casey Anthony: TomD9938: Almost all the Hummers I see these days are being driven by brothers.  And they... well... you know.

I've seen plenty of black men naked (on the internet) with average size members. I bet they're all thinking "wtf? I'm black, but I don't have a big dick. explain that one."


Sure... "on the internet" yeah yeah yeah.
 
2013-07-19 04:52:06 PM

Ambitwistor: [www.smbc-comics.com image 405x527]


It's funny because it's true! I bet, given the choice, more people would go for the guy with the  magnificently tiny penis, than the guy who was merely smallish. And I bet the guys with magnificently tiny penises are as cocky, no pun intended, as guys who are hung.


-- a parable --

The lioness was queen of the savannah, ruler of all she surveyed. But one day, as she stalked a gazelle, she stepped on a thorn, and fell to the ground in pain. "Come to me, O Gazelle, and remove this thorn from my paw, and if you do, I shall spare your life," she said. "I shall do as you ask, O Lioness," the gazelle replied, "that we may live in peace from this day forward. But beware: the thorn is deep, and it will be painful to remove. Do not, in your anger, forget your promise." The lioness replied, "You are a noble beast, Gazelle. I shall not forget my promise." So the gazelle went to work, removing the thorn. The lioness was greatly pained, and cried aloud, and shed many tears. But at last the thorn was free. The two animals parted in friendship, and the lioness kept her word to her dying day.

That same night, a mouse was heard to say: "Well what would you have done? She was sprawled wide open right there in front of me. Of course I farked her. And I'll tell you what, not only did I fark her, but you should have heard that biatch scream when I slipped it in."
 
2013-07-19 04:53:13 PM
As a person interested in science and such, I've always found it fascinating that my penis is so comically, cartoonishly small when not "in use", yet multiple women have found it to be more than satisfying.

And by multiple, I mean more than one.

/groWER
 
2013-07-19 05:00:35 PM

Casey Anthony: TomD9938: Almost all the Hummers I see these days are being driven by brothers.  And they... well... you know.

I've seen plenty of black men naked (on the internet) with average size members. I bet they're all thinking "wtf? I'm black, but I don't have a big dick. explain that one."


No we call ourselves average Joe's
 
2013-07-19 05:01:26 PM
Cunning plan: Compete, come in dead last, profit
 
2013-07-19 05:02:37 PM

semiotix: -- a parable --


OK, I laughed.. how long have you been waiting for a thread related enough to post that?
 
2013-07-19 05:03:27 PM

23FPB23: As a person interested in science and such, I've always found it fascinating that my penis is so comically, cartoonishly small when not "in use", yet multiple women have found it to be more than satisfying.

And by multiple, I mean more than one.

/groWER


I, too, am a lover of science, yet as I have no empirical evidence, I cannot say whether growth would mitigate what, at first glance, appears to be a lack of performance ability
 
2013-07-19 05:04:35 PM
It's not the meat its the motion!
 
2013-07-19 05:05:13 PM
This fetish is known as cuckolding, for those who are wondering.

It's a rather odd one.
 
2013-07-19 05:05:28 PM

traylor: It's just not fair if they don't hold a contest for the Brooklyn's biggest vagina.



No competition.  David Blaine.
 
2013-07-19 05:06:30 PM

Casey Anthony: TomD9938: Almost all the Hummers I see these days are being driven by brothers.  And they... well... you know.

I've seen plenty of black men naked (on the internet) with average size members. I bet they're all thinking "wtf? I'm black, but I don't have a big dick. explain that one."


Just like a fat chick with itty bitty titties, nearly the saddest words of mice or men
 
2013-07-19 05:07:54 PM
It's not funny!! It's a handicap!! I was born this way; you wouldn't laugh at a guy in a wheelchair!!!
 
2013-07-19 05:10:42 PM
I saw G.G. Allin when I was 15. I saw him poop on the stage, attack the crowd, squirt beer up his ass with a turkey baster and smash the microphone into his forehead. But the thing that traumatized me the most was his little bitty penis. I see why he was so angry.
 
2013-07-19 05:18:51 PM
TomD9938:

Almost all the Hummers I see these days are being driven by brothers.  And they... well... you know.

Drug dealers?
 
2013-07-19 05:20:33 PM

devilskware: I saw G.G. Allin when I was 15. I saw him poop on the stage, attack the crowd, squirt beer up his ass with a turkey baster and smash the microphone into his forehead. But the thing that traumatized me the most was his little bitty penis. I see why he was so angry.


Maybe he should of sang about having a Needle Cock, not one up it.
 
2013-07-19 05:24:35 PM
i.perezhilton.com
 
2013-07-19 05:31:20 PM

devilskware: I saw G.G. Allin when I was 15. I saw him poop on the stage, attack the crowd, squirt beer up his ass with a turkey baster and smash the microphone into his forehead. But the thing that traumatized me the most was his little bitty penis. I see why he was so angry.


Yet he always seemed to perform naked. My exposure to him is the documentary Hated: G.G. Allin & the Murder Junkies. I figured he got a thrill from showing everyone just how small it was. If I remember correctly, the night he died he was walking the New York streets naked.
 
2013-07-19 05:34:33 PM

FedExPope: 23FPB23: As a person interested in science and such, I've always found it fascinating that my penis is so comically, cartoonishly small when not "in use", yet multiple women have found it to be more than satisfying.

And by multiple, I mean more than one.

/groWER

I, too, am a lover of science, yet as I have no empirical evidence, I cannot say whether growth would mitigate what, at first glance, appears to be a lack of performance ability


Rule 1: She (or he, NTTAWWT) only sees it for the first time when it's 'angry'
 
2013-07-19 05:48:58 PM

karmaceutical: Casey Anthony: TomD9938: Almost all the Hummers I see these days are being driven by brothers.  And they... well... you know.

I've seen plenty of black men naked (on the internet) with average size members. I bet they're all thinking "wtf? I'm black, but I don't have a big dick. explain that one."

Sure... "on the internet" yeah yeah yeah.


How far away, exactly, do you think the day is when more people have seen genitals on the internet than in real life?
 
2013-07-19 05:49:49 PM

drjekel_mrhyde: Casey Anthony: TomD9938: Almost all the Hummers I see these days are being driven by brothers.  And they... well... you know.

I've seen plenty of black men naked (on the internet) with average size members. I bet they're all thinking "wtf? I'm black, but I don't have a big dick. explain that one."

No we call ourselves average Joe's


Based on your reply, I'm assuming you're a black dude with an average...Joe. Is there more smack talking about junk size with black guys than with white dudes? Being that the stereotype is black dudes all have tree trunks smacking their knees? Do black chicks always expect an elephant trunk when dating a black dude, and if so, is the response upon NOT seeing a BBC devastating?
 
2013-07-19 05:51:42 PM

Casey Anthony: TomD9938: Almost all the Hummers I see these days are being driven by brothers.  And they... well... you know.

I've seen plenty of black men naked (on the internet) with average size members. I bet they're all thinking "wtf? I'm black, but I don't have a big dick. explain that one."


That stereotype got started in Victorian times when a big dick was viewed as savage and animalistic.
 
2013-07-19 05:51:43 PM
Seen it on Stern before. It was just a bunch of fat dudes that made their dicks look like innies so you just end up with a bunch of ties. Boring.
 
2013-07-19 05:54:17 PM

jso2897: karmaceutical: Casey Anthony: TomD9938: Almost all the Hummers I see these days are being driven by brothers.  And they... well... you know.

I've seen plenty of black men naked (on the internet) with average size members. I bet they're all thinking "wtf? I'm black, but I don't have a big dick. explain that one."

Sure... "on the internet" yeah yeah yeah.

How far away, exactly, do you think the day is when more people have seen genitals on the internet than in real life?


I would figure that's the day when people are decidedly less foul and std rates have dropped considerably.
 
2013-07-19 05:54:25 PM

robohobo: drjekel_mrhyde: Casey Anthony: TomD9938: Almost all the Hummers I see these days are being driven by brothers.  And they... well... you know.

I've seen plenty of black men naked (on the internet) with average size members. I bet they're all thinking "wtf? I'm black, but I don't have a big dick. explain that one."

No we call ourselves average Joe's

Based on your reply, I'm assuming you're a black dude with an average...Joe. Is there more smack talking about junk size with black guys than with white dudes? Being that the stereotype is black dudes all have tree trunks smacking their knees? Do black chicks always expect an elephant trunk when dating a black dude, and if so, is the response upon NOT seeing a BBC devastating?


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0eUdk0YVHZM
 
2013-07-19 05:54:43 PM
robohobo: drjekel_mrhyde: Casey Anthony: TomD9938: Almost all the Hummers I see these days are being driven by brothers.  And they... well... you know.

I've seen plenty of black men naked (on the internet) with average size members. I bet they're all thinking "wtf? I'm black, but I don't have a big dick. explain that one."

No we call ourselves average Joe's

Based on your reply, I'm assuming you're a black dude with an average...Joe. Is there more smack talking about junk size with black guys than with white dudes? Being that the stereotype is black dudes all have tree trunks smacking their knees? Do black chicks always expect an elephant trunk when dating a black dude, and if so, is the response upon NOT seeing a BBC devastating?


Well I'm white and I don't think Ive seen a black one bigger than mine other than porn.
 
2013-07-19 05:54:51 PM

AaronK: They can borrow my tweezers and magnifying glass that I use to pee.


HAHAHAHA!!!  You haven't figured out that you can just tie a thread around it and fish around in your undies for that instead!
 
2013-07-19 06:06:35 PM
I thought the Yankees were in Boston tomorrow.
 
2013-07-19 06:12:34 PM

treesloth: HAHAHAHA!!!  You haven't figured out that you can just tie a thread around it and fish around in your undies for that instead!


That's how I got my first piercing!
 
2013-07-19 06:17:50 PM
Five bucks says this is the year one of the contestants breaks the outtie / innie barrier.
 
2013-07-19 06:27:10 PM

Fallout Boy: Seen it on Stern before. It was just a bunch of fat dudes that made their dicks look like innies so you just end up with a bunch of ties. Boring.


When your dick can't peek out of your fat rolls it's time for a change.
 
2013-07-19 06:27:19 PM
anyone can win Brooklyn. call me when the East Coast Finals are scheduled.
 
2013-07-19 06:33:26 PM

Abox: Fallout Boy: Seen it on Stern before. It was just a bunch of fat dudes that made their dicks look like innies so you just end up with a bunch of ties. Boring.

When your dick can't peek out of your fat rolls it's time for a change.


I had a very fat friend who constantly fretted about the size of his dick. Almost inevitably, when we'd be hanging out, he would eventually brush on the subject. One day I got sick of hearing about it and told him that the average man will gain about a half inch for every 50 lbs he loses. Shortly after, and for unrelated reasons, I moved away. I visited him again a year and a half later and he'd lost over 200 lbs! Stopped complaining about how short his dick was too. Still a virgin though, which is a shame. Man needs to get laid. He's a decade away from turning into a Steve Carrell movie.
 
2013-07-19 06:47:14 PM
 
2013-07-19 06:47:34 PM

robohobo: Already Disturbed: [i1.ytimg.com image 480x360]

Is that from the Richard Bey Show? I think it is. Jerry Springer's even funnier predecessor.



Indeed.
 
2013-07-19 06:51:11 PM
Wise man say: "Small penis leads to hurt feelings not vaginas."
 
2013-07-19 06:52:17 PM
You know what, I like them all. There is a position for every size./eip
 
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