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(Gothamist)   Contest to crown Brooklyn's tiniest penis will be held tomorrow. Contest delayed to get permits allowing extra parking for all the monster trucks   (gothamist.com) divider line 120
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10863 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jul 2013 at 3:37 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-07-19 01:33:49 PM
Um...

i.imgur.com
 
2013-07-19 01:42:32 PM
The people who run that bar are friends of my girlfriend.  I once saw an argument in French turn into a fist fight there.
 
2013-07-19 02:02:43 PM
They already did that on Howard Stern.
 
2013-07-19 02:52:28 PM
I'm just going to hop on over to some public wifi hotspot instead of clicking that at work.
 
2013-07-19 03:10:17 PM
i105.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-19 03:23:36 PM
I gotta wonder how one finds the chutzpah to suggest participation in this to a man. Well, other than the obligatory "link this story on Facebook and tag all ex-boyfriends" route.
 
2013-07-19 03:29:35 PM

James!: The people who run that bar are friends of my girlfriend.  I once saw an argument in French turn into a fist fight there.


Can you get us a reduced entrance fee?
 
2013-07-19 03:39:00 PM

brap: James!: The people who run that bar are friends of my girlfriend.  I once saw an argument in French turn into a fist fight there.

Can you get us a reduced entrance fee?


I assumed it was free.
 
2013-07-19 03:39:48 PM
If it's really that tiny, how are they going to fit a crown on it?
 
2013-07-19 03:41:15 PM

brap: James!: The people who run that bar are friends of my girlfriend.  I once saw an argument in French turn into a fist fight there.

Can you get us a reduced entrance fee?


images1.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-07-19 03:42:18 PM
Can we start giving out Most Cliche'd Toy Envy awards to every moron who keeps using this joke?
 
2013-07-19 03:42:43 PM

new_york_monty: If it's really that tiny, how are they going to fit a crown on it?


They can borrow my tweezers and magnifying glass that I use to pee.
 
2013-07-19 03:42:49 PM
So they're going to crown King Needledick of Long island?
 
2013-07-19 03:43:27 PM

AaronK: new_york_monty: If it's really that tiny, how are they going to fit a crown on it?

They can borrow my tweezers and magnifying glass that I use to pee.


Good luck in the contest!
 
2013-07-19 03:45:29 PM

James!: brap: James!: The people who run that bar are friends of my girlfriend.  I once saw an argument in French turn into a fist fight there.

Can you get us a reduced entrance fee?

I assumed it was free.


Well maybe when it's rock hard.  Oh FREE, my bad.
 
2013-07-19 03:46:31 PM
Some women like small dicks.
They're called "imaginary".
 
2013-07-19 03:47:03 PM
Flaccid or erect?
 
2013-07-19 03:47:08 PM
/penis


I WIN!!!
 
2013-07-19 03:48:34 PM
Hell, I would sign up just to come in last.  Talk about an ego boost.

/I'm the runner up?  shiat...
 
2013-07-19 03:48:50 PM
I was going to be in it, but had to pull out.
 
2013-07-19 03:49:17 PM

Ryker's Peninsula: Some women like small dicks.
They're called "imaginary".


So all that asian porn is just a hoax? I thought small penises make women scream in pain when being impaled by a needle.
 
2013-07-19 03:49:39 PM
Cue the tiny Dick apolgists.
 
2013-07-19 03:49:43 PM
I was going to go, but they kept asking me if my entry was in...
 
2013-07-19 03:51:16 PM
Aimee Arciuolo, in May, she told us: "I do expect there will be a few giant dicks that come to show off, but if they are over eight inches they will be disqualified and forced to buy a round for the judges."

Good idea.
 
2013-07-19 03:51:22 PM
i1.ytimg.com
 
2013-07-19 03:51:26 PM
upload.wikimedia.org
 
WGJ
2013-07-19 03:52:34 PM
Three midgets were sitting around getting drunk one day when they decided to go down the the Guinness place to see if they qualified for any records. One had teeny-tiny hands, 1 had teeny-tiny feet, and 1 had a teeny-tiny penis.

So they get there and the midget with the teeny-tiny hands goes in first. About 45 minutes later he comes out yelling "woo-hoo! I've got the smallest hands in the world!"

The midget with the teeny-tiny feet goes in next, and about 45 minutes later he comes out yelling "woo-hoo! I've got the smallest feet in the world!"

The midget with the teeny-tiny penis goes in last, and about 10 minutes later he comes out yelling "who the fark is WGJ?!?"
 
2013-07-19 03:52:37 PM
Great, another thing the Chinese will beat us at.
 
2013-07-19 03:52:52 PM
www.smbc-comics.com
 
2013-07-19 03:53:15 PM

Nonrepeating Rotating Binary: Can we start giving out Most Cliche'd Toy Envy awards to every moron who keeps using this joke?


You sound less than fat.
 
2013-07-19 03:53:24 PM
I'm  engorged to a full inch.
 
2013-07-19 03:54:05 PM
It's not about size, it's about how you use it. People shouldnt be embarassed!
 
2013-07-19 03:54:50 PM

Already Disturbed: [i1.ytimg.com image 480x360]


Is that from the Richard Bey Show? I think it is. Jerry Springer's even funnier predecessor.
 
2013-07-19 03:56:36 PM

Supercampion: It's not about size, it's about how you use it. People shouldnt be embarassed!


Use it as a substitute syringe for insulin?
 
2013-07-19 03:57:26 PM
sigh, I remember when Brooklyn used to be tough
 
2013-07-19 03:57:34 PM
or hummer driver
 
2013-07-19 03:58:02 PM
This is a real thing? This link & article is not a joke?

Oh.
 
2013-07-19 03:58:30 PM

Kanemano: sigh, I remember when Brooklyn used to be tough


Back before the hipster invasion.
 
2013-07-19 03:59:24 PM
Where do I park?

img.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-19 03:59:41 PM
I think I'll enter the contest but first I'll fill my underwear with ice cubes.
 
2013-07-19 04:05:06 PM
It's just not fair if they don't hold a contest for the Brooklyn's biggest vagina.

/preemptively: your mom
 
2013-07-19 04:06:13 PM
Two guys are sitting in a bar. One of them says "I have the smallest head in the world." The other guy says "I have the smallest penis in the world." They decide to go to the Hall of Records to see if they're right. A few hours later they meet up and the first guy says "Whaddaya know! I do have the smallest head in the world!" The other guy says "Who the hell is Justin Bieber?"
 
2013-07-19 04:11:52 PM

traylor: It's just not fair if they don't hold a contest for the Brooklyn's biggest vagina.

/preemptively: your mom


farm1.staticflickr.com


/also these days, there'd be too many contestants
 
2013-07-19 04:13:23 PM
Obligatory
thinningtheherd.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-07-19 04:14:34 PM
Just remember, some are grow'rs, some are show'rs.
 
2013-07-19 04:14:39 PM

Astorix: or hummer driver


I don't know about that.

Almost all the Hummers I see these days are being driven by brothers.  And they... well... you know.
 
2013-07-19 04:17:39 PM
Society comes down unfairly on us "growers"...I mean it's still small, but it's not THAT small!
 
2013-07-19 04:19:09 PM
There is a developmental condition called "Micro Penis"  (NSFW GIS).

There was some speculation that Rush Limbaugh has this condition considering how frantic he gets during his various pain-killer / Viagra legal problem that his medical records not be released.
 
2013-07-19 04:19:32 PM
So would it be considered a winner or a loser for those that get knocked out quick for being too big??
 
2013-07-19 04:19:53 PM
Tiniest penis in New York?  First, start by looking at the guys.

Or is that balls they lack?
 
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