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(Gothamist)   And now, the headline you were not expecting to see today: "Bronx prostitutes use giant telescope to see Saturn"   (gothamist.com) divider line 61
    More: Strange, Bronx, Hunts Point, small telescope, Saturn  
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7739 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jul 2013 at 12:11 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



61 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-07-19 08:42:50 AM
They've already seen Uranus.
 
2013-07-19 09:01:50 AM
Two problems:
1. that is not a giant telescope
2. Damn those are ugly prostitutes.
 
2013-07-19 09:12:28 AM

naughtyrev: They've already seen Uranus.


that'll cost extra.
 
2013-07-19 10:58:52 AM
I'm assuming they thought it was a massive crack pipe?
 
2013-07-19 11:08:43 AM
What does a hooker think when she approaches a car and the guy says, "You wanna see the rings of Saturn?"
 
2013-07-19 11:10:51 AM

Pray 4 Mojo: What does a hooker think when she approaches a car and the guy says, "You wanna see the rings of Saturn?"


that'll cost extra.
 
2013-07-19 11:50:16 AM
a) That is an awesome photo. That guy has some incredible portraits, quite harrowing stuff.

b) Those poor dears.  I can't imagine a tougher gig.
 
2013-07-19 12:12:54 PM

Pray 4 Mojo: What does a hooker think when she approaches a car and the guy says, "You wanna see the rings of Saturn?"


Look out, we got a badass over here?
 
2013-07-19 12:14:22 PM

grokca: 2. Damn those are ugly prostitutes.


I bet they do their ass-kegels
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dT1AHDjzcsQ
VERY NSFW audio
 
2013-07-19 12:15:50 PM
Yeah subby, I would expect that on like a Monday when business is down for them
 
2013-07-19 12:16:44 PM
How the hell does a whore looking up in the sky at BS she can't ever touch help bring her pimp any money? That's two lazy whores who need a lesson before a pimps gonna have to beat that ass.
 
2013-07-19 12:17:00 PM

thecpt: Yeah subby, I would expect that on like a Monday when business is down for them


Consumer Reports does say that Mondays are the best times to get a discount on hookers.
 
2013-07-19 12:17:51 PM
'Hey, you want your dick sucked or you want to look at Saturn?'
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-07-19 12:19:03 PM
FTFA


'Hey, you want your dick sucked or you want to look at Saturn?' She has a great sense of humor that way."


/I lol'd till i stopped.
 
2013-07-19 12:19:53 PM
In related news... Telescope Wielding Pimp Arrested After Cosmic Beatdown Of Prostitute
 
2013-07-19 12:19:58 PM
Even our societies most victimized have homan curiosity. Imagine if someone had shown them the stars when they were six, how their lives would have been different.
 
2013-07-19 12:19:59 PM

grokca: Two problems:
1. that is not a giant telescope
2. Damn those are ugly prostitutes.


This.

It's an expensive consumer-grade telescope (Meade LX90), to be sure... but giant telescope implies something like... well, like this:
www.heraldo.es
 
2013-07-19 12:20:08 PM

naughtyrev: They've already seen Uranus.


Done in 1. Subby fail for not including something this obvious in the headline.
 
2013-07-19 12:21:28 PM

GardenWeasel: naughtyrev: They've already seen Uranus.

Done in 1. Subby fail for not including something this obvious in the headline.


I'd have given him -1 for being so obvious.
 
2013-07-19 12:22:41 PM

darth_badger: How the hell does a whore looking up in the sky at BS she can't ever touch help bring her pimp any money? That's two lazy whores who need a lesson before a pimps gonna have to beat that ass.


images1.wikia.nocookie.net
"Lord, please pray for the soul of this biatch. And guide my pimp hand and make it strong, Lord. So that she might learn a ho's place. Amen. "
 
2013-07-19 12:22:52 PM

darth_badger: How the hell does a whore looking up in the sky at BS she can't ever touch help bring her pimp any money? That's two lazy whores who need a lesson before a pimps gonna have to beat that ass.


images.paraorkut.com
 
2013-07-19 12:22:52 PM

Prank Call of Cthulhu: 'Hey, you want your dick sucked or you want to look at Saturn?'
[1.bp.blogspot.com image 320x311]


Most disturbing juxtaposition of text and image yet.....
 
2013-07-19 12:24:55 PM

naughtyrev: They've already seen Uranus.


Done in one AU.
 
2013-07-19 12:30:58 PM
A giant telescope, as in specifically designed to view giants?
 
2013-07-19 12:32:37 PM
Takeesha and Deja are living examples of how not to name your child so it doesn't grow up to be a stereotype.
 
2013-07-19 12:33:00 PM

offmymeds: darth_badger: How the hell does a whore looking up in the sky at BS she can't ever touch help bring her pimp any money? That's two lazy whores who need a lesson before a pimps gonna have to beat that ass.

[images.paraorkut.com image 600x480]


25.media.tumblr.com

"Where's my biatches?"
 
2013-07-19 12:41:41 PM
Oh, Farkers. Like most of you wouldn't have ended up as the special Adjunct Assistant Crack Whores that Takeesha and Deja call when someone wants something really nasty, if you'd been dealt their hand.

That said, if that photographer was feeling pretty stoked about how big and giant and long they said his little choad of a telescope is, well...
 
2013-07-19 12:48:08 PM
That's actually kind of a poignant picture. Everybody needs a glimpse of something unexpected and beautiful from time to time.
 
2013-07-19 12:50:36 PM

Thurston Howell: It's an expensive consumer-grade telescope (Meade LX90), to be sure


It only seems to be about $1000 worth on Ebay if when he gets robbed.
 
2013-07-19 12:51:28 PM

obamadidcoke: Even our societies most victimized have homan curiosity. Imagine if someone had shown them the stars when they were six, how their lives would have been different.


Instead of keeping their heads down, never letting them look up at the sky?

/P.S.: I see what you did there with "ho-man." Or perhaps it wasn't on purpose?
 
2013-07-19 12:51:51 PM

Crewmannumber6: grokca: 2. Damn those are ugly prostitutes.

I bet they do their ass-kegels
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dT1AHDjzcsQ
VERY NSFW audio



Fark Keynesian economic philosophy, that's what I'm saying to you, Angela!
 
2013-07-19 12:53:03 PM
Strangely awesome story. Thanks, Subby.
 
2013-07-19 01:00:43 PM

offmymeds: [images.paraorkut.com image 600x480]


I think the pimp in the middle has a corporate sponsor.
www.x-entertainment.com
 
2013-07-19 01:19:54 PM
they'll give you a BJ so amazing you'll see Saturn
 
2013-07-19 01:26:29 PM
I'm glad they enjoyed it. Life has to suck if you're a street hooker.
 
2013-07-19 01:29:14 PM

Thurston Howell: grokca: Two problems:
1. that is not a giant telescope
2. Damn those are ugly prostitutes.

This.

It's an expensive consumer-grade telescope (Meade LX90), to be sure... but giant telescope implies something like... well, like this:
[www.heraldo.es image 800x534]


3.  Doesn't look like it's even plugged in.
 
2013-07-19 01:53:23 PM
Maybe sparking an interest in Astronomy will be the kick one of them needs to get her life on track. She'll get her GED... then spend a few years at a junior college... then transfer to a 4 year school where she will graduate with honors... get a PhD in Astrophysics at MIT... and design the landing craft for the first manned mission to Mars.
 
2013-07-19 01:54:55 PM

Prank Call of Cthulhu: 'Hey, you want your dick sucked or you want to look at Saturn?'


Why not both

You read my filthy filthy mind.
 
2013-07-19 02:17:43 PM
Now we know how they got here, from the previous post.

Train Hauling Trash Derails in Bronx
 
2013-07-19 02:23:22 PM

Pray 4 Mojo: What does a hooker think when she approaches a car and the guy says, "You wanna see the rings of Saturn?"


content8.flixster.com

You usually pay double for that kind of action cotton
 
2013-07-19 02:26:37 PM

Pray 4 Mojo: Maybe sparking an interest in Astronomy will be the kick one of them needs to get her life on track. She'll get her GED... then spend a few years at a junior college... then transfer to a 4 year school where she will graduate with honors... get a PhD in Astrophysics at MIT... and design the landing craft for the first manned mission to Mars.


Or not.
 
gja [TotalFark]
2013-07-19 02:52:44 PM

Pray 4 Mojo: What does a hooker think when she approaches a car and the guy says, "You wanna see the rings of Saturn?"


Maybe they thought they could steal the rings and pawn them.


/i will have a seat on the train now....asbestos underwear?check
 
2013-07-19 02:58:27 PM
"Takeesha would shout at them, 'Hey, you want your dick sucked or you want to look at Saturn?' She has a great sense of humor that way."
 
2013-07-19 02:59:37 PM
Why is toilet paper like star trek?

They both circle your anus, looking for Cling-ons


Thank you thank you, I'll be here all weekend!  :)
 
2013-07-19 03:30:25 PM

Nurglitch: I'm glad they enjoyed it. Life has to suck if you're a street hooker.


...pretty much by definition.
 
2013-07-19 03:37:32 PM
It may not be the headline we want, but it's the headline we need.
 
2013-07-19 03:39:01 PM

grokca: Two problems:
1. that is not a giant telescope
2. Damn those are ugly prostitutes.


Umm, no, those are pretty decent looking hookers.  I've been propositioned by much, much worse in St Paul just this week.

/shudder
 
2013-07-19 03:51:10 PM
That sounds kinda like a pangram.

Female Bronx prostitutes gaze skyward at heavenly quasars.
 
2013-07-19 03:56:31 PM
Maybe someone asked them "hey wanna look at some rings" and hope sprang for getting off the streets?
 
2013-07-19 04:16:06 PM

hobnail: grokca: Two problems:
1. that is not a giant telescope
2. Damn those are ugly prostitutes.

Umm, no, those are pretty decent looking hookers.  I've been propositioned by much, much worse in St Paul just this week.

/shudder


Well, the St Paul Pristitution Arrest web page is normally filled with some serious mutants, but everybody looks relatively normal this week.  Oddly enough, it's almost all men, so they must have had a sting.
 
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