If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(TwinCities.com)   Doggone   (twincities.com) divider line 161
    More: Sad, Schoep, internet, Internet celebrity, Lake Superior  
•       •       •

9885 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jul 2013 at 11:14 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



161 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-07-19 11:57:49 AM  
My dog is 12, has knee issues, and is right at the life expectancy for the two breeds that make up his mix. I've already said I'm using several thousand slaves to build a pyramid for him when he goes.
 
2013-07-19 11:58:15 AM  

Pray 4 Mojo: I still get the feeling that this guy kept his dog around a little too long... but it doesn't make it any less sad.

I'll drop a Snausage on the curb today.


Also, I've been trying to email you a proper thank-you, but your email hates me.
 
2013-07-19 11:58:49 AM  

TommyymmoT: darth_badger: [blog.seattlepi.com image 275x378]


This dog is dead too.
[blog.seattlepi.com image 275x378]

I heard he escaped to Argentina and changed his name to 'Muffin'.


Hey... haven't seen you around... but thanks for the TF!
 
2013-07-19 11:59:42 AM  

megarian: Pray 4 Mojo: I still get the feeling that this guy kept his dog around a little too long... but it doesn't make it any less sad.

I'll drop a Snausage on the curb today.

Also, I've been trying to email you a proper thank-you, but your email hates me.


It's like a thank you party up in here!!!

Welcome... btw.
 
2013-07-19 11:59:44 AM  
FTFA: When reached on Thursday, Stonehouse Hudson focused on the positive: "Schoep and John had an amazing relationship ... I hope that people can give John some space and privacy for now ... he just lost his best friend."

Efforts to reach Unger on Thursday evening were unsuccessful.


. . .

[Reporter} Molly Guthrey can be reached at 651-228-5505.

I've a mind to call Ms. Guthrey and tell her she's an obtuse twit.
 
2013-07-19 12:00:34 PM  

bambi121899: Glad to see this story. It's a nice contrast to the other dog story that happened in the Twin Cities this week. WARNING: you'll want to punch your monitor. And cry.  http://www.twincities.com/localnews/ci_23688659/savage-man-accused-be a ting-dog-sledgehammer


... he later told police he had attempted to kill the dog because it was old, could barely walk and had defecated on the floor.   Sounds like he's describing himself.  Deserves the same "euthanization" method, also.

/Go kill yourself you old bastard.
 
2013-07-19 12:00:45 PM  

Satan's Bunny Slippers: Kid Shelleen: OC left a few weeks ago.  

Sorry for the "Sad Story, Bro."

Oh dear.....I too have an OC, mine's HC (Homeless Cat).  He's been around since I moved in just over a year ago.  I hope I can get him in a carrier before snow flies this year, even if it's only for TNR.

I also have 3 inside cats, but this story just reminds me that my 13 year old Himi is probably not long for this world.  *sigh*  He's just old.


We adopted a stray that showed up outside one day.  She was probably around 3 months old, and nothing but skin and bones. She had a badly infected eye as well.  It was completely closed.  I fed her a couple times, then came home from work one day to find her curled up and sleeping in the mulch near the front door.  Broke my heart.  I was able to get her in a carrier by Macguyvering that shiat with some fishing line.  I put some food in the back of the carrier, then yanked the door shut when she went in.  She is now one of our indoor cats, and completely healthy.  I've had lots of cats over the years, and she is by far the sweetest.  Always wants to be pet, and loves to chirp and talk to you.  She and the cat we already had are now best buds.
 
2013-07-19 12:00:48 PM  

jankyboy: "It would have been better if men and dogs grew from boyhood and puppyhood together, and in so doing pass on together. However, nature is not so ordered. So long as there are dogs and men, dogs will die, and men will weep for them." -- Burton Spiller


"Old men miss many dogs." Steve Allen I think.
 
2013-07-19 12:01:39 PM  

Englebert Slaptyback: Gonna go hug the doggies, hug the doggies.


Fark Me with a Chainsaw: Englebert Slaptyback: Gonna go hug the doggies, hug the doggies.

Jimmie two-times?

/get the papers

 
2013-07-19 12:01:56 PM  

FarkingReading:
I came to Fark for a laugh this morning after getting some pretty rotten news and then I saw this. Ug.

Oh, and what was that rotten news? The 6-month-old puppy that is my 6-year-old's favorite thing in the world has to be put to sleep. It's being done today and we have to tell her tonight. This is going to be rough.


For the right amount, I'll 'break' into your 'house' and 'steal' said 'puppy' from your 'child'. But you're gonna have to take to pup to the vet. I've had to do that with a cocker spaniel and two cats. It doesn't get easier.

To make it look good, I'll also grab the big screen (non refundable) cause we don't want the kid to ask you in ten years "Why did the bad man only take my puppy and pistol whip daddy?"
 
2013-07-19 12:04:11 PM  
That's sad.  He had a good life, though.
 
2013-07-19 12:05:15 PM  

bambi121899: Glad to see this story. It's a nice contrast to the other dog story that happened in the Twin Cities this week. WARNING: you'll want to punch your monitor. And cry.  http://www.twincities.com/localnews/ci_23688659/savage-man-accused-be a ting-dog-sledgehammer


...

Goddamnitsomuch.
 
2013-07-19 12:10:14 PM  
He made it to 20!  Good dog and good dedicated owner.  RIP Schoep.

Now home for lunch to kiss my pups and remind them to age slowly.
 
2013-07-19 12:10:19 PM  
So here's something I always wondered... and since were having a ripping good dead  dog thread...

When it was time for my Lab to go. I fryed up a steak and sat on the floor feeding her little pieces while she curled up next to me. My other dog (who I freely admit I regularly called "Other Dog") sat a little ways away and waited for his piece... which he only got one of when we were done.

The Lab and I leave... and I come back with only her leash and collar... and other dog was really upset.

So...  question is... when the time came for HIS steak and cuddling... was he thinking, "Oh Fark me. I'm gonna disappear now."
 
2013-07-19 12:13:31 PM  

FarkingReading: I came to Fark for a laugh this morning after getting some pretty rotten news and then I saw this. Ug.

Oh, and what was that rotten news? The 6-month-old puppy that is my 6-year-old's favorite thing in the world has to be put to sleep. It's being done today and we have to tell her tonight. This is going to be rough.


How utterly sad.  Are you going to tell her the truth?  I would lie and say the dog had to go to Superdog training school or something like that.  I could not tell a 6 year old that a six month old puppy had to be put to sleep.   Why does the puppy have to be put to sleep?
 
2013-07-19 12:14:28 PM  

Pray 4 Mojo: So here's something I always wondered... and since were having a ripping good dead  dog thread...

When it was time for my Lab to go. I fryed up a steak and sat on the floor feeding her little pieces while she curled up next to me. My other dog (who I freely admit I regularly called "Other Dog") sat a little ways away and waited for his piece... which he only got one of when we were done.

The Lab and I leave... and I come back with only her leash and collar... and other dog was really upset.

So...  question is... when the time came for HIS steak and cuddling... was he thinking, "Oh Fark me. I'm gonna disappear now."


WHY ARE WE DOING THIS? WHY?

/weeping uncontrollably
//take your dusty room and cram it
 
2013-07-19 12:22:51 PM  
Well, if I didn't already feel like opening a vein this morning, I surely do after this story and thread.
 
2013-07-19 12:24:52 PM  

Pray 4 Mojo: So here's something I always wondered... and since were having a ripping good dead  dog thread...

When it was time for my Lab to go. I fryed up a steak and sat on the floor feeding her little pieces while she curled up next to me. My other dog (who I freely admit I regularly called "Other Dog") sat a little ways away and waited for his piece... which he only got one of when we were done.

The Lab and I leave... and I come back with only her leash and collar... and other dog was really upset.

So...  question is... when the time came for HIS steak and cuddling... was he thinking, "Oh Fark me. I'm gonna disappear now."


My Dad had to put his elderly lab down a few weeks ago on my birthday. Same kind of story. I ran over and told her bye, which is pretty tough.

Lost a grandchild the year before on the day before my birthday. I think I will just stop having birthdays.
 
2013-07-19 12:25:35 PM  

teenytinycornteeth: WHY ARE WE DOING THIS? WHY?

/weeping uncontrollably
//take your dusty room and cram it


Okay... let's tell funny dog stories.

I brought a chick home one time... we go to bed... and my dog jumps up there with us. Chick says... "I'm doing this with your dog in here." So I kicked her out. Fark you biatch... my dog was here first.

Now somebody else tell a better one...
 
2013-07-19 12:27:09 PM  
It gets real awkward having to explain to my co-workers why it gets so damn dusty in here.
 
2013-07-19 12:28:22 PM  

Pray 4 Mojo: teenytinycornteeth: WHY ARE WE DOING THIS? WHY?

/weeping uncontrollably
//take your dusty room and cram it

Okay... let's tell funny dog stories.

I brought a chick home one time... we go to bed... and my dog jumps up there with us. Chick says... "I'm doing this with your dog in here." So I kicked her out. Fark you biatch... my dog was here first.

Now somebody else tell a better one...


When I was married, me and the ex were getting bizzy, enjoying some oral activities.....our mixed breed dog had nudged open the bedroom door, and decided that daddy's upended rear was just too interesting to pass up a good "jump right up there and give it a good SNIFF!".  Needless to say, laughter interrupted the rest of sexytime.
 
2013-07-19 12:29:09 PM  

Pray 4 Mojo: "I'm doing this with your dog in here."


"NOT doing this"... Fark... I can't even tell a not-very-funny story right.

Do the needful: Lost a grandchild the year before


Dogs die... that's what they do. I've loved every dog I've ever had more than I can express... but they're with us only a short time. It's not hard to prepare to say goodbye.

Losing a grandchild (or a child) is just farking wretched awful. You have my sincerest sympathy.
 
2013-07-19 12:30:03 PM  

Pray 4 Mojo: I brought a chick home one time... we go to bed... and my dog jumps up there with us. Chick says... "I'm doing this with your dog in here."

Kinky

 
2013-07-19 12:39:08 PM  
Great, now my allergies are acting up (yeah... allergies... it's pretty dusty in here all of a sudden.) I just want to go hug my pups, but am stuck at work.
 
2013-07-19 12:41:16 PM  
My lovable dog killed a bird yesterday and left it on the back porch for me. Last time it was an opossum.
 
2013-07-19 12:42:12 PM  

Babbs: WayneKerr: Dogs die. That's what they do.

So do people. But I feel worse when dogs die than I do when most people die. Cause, you know, people suck. And you are proof.


Favorited.
 
2013-07-19 12:42:14 PM  

sandi_fish: My lovable dog killed a bird yesterday and left it on the back porch for me. Last time it was an opossum.


When it's a neighbor, you should start to worry.
 
2013-07-19 12:45:22 PM  

Cold_Sassy: bambi121899: Glad to see this story. It's a nice contrast to the other dog story that happened in the Twin Cities this week. WARNING: you'll want to punch your monitor. And cry.  http://www.twincities.com/localnews/ci_23688659/savage-man-accused-be a ting-dog-sledgehammer

... he later told police he had attempted to kill the dog because it was old, could barely walk and had defecated on the floor.   Sounds like he's describing himself.  Deserves the same "euthanization" method, also.

/Go kill yourself you old bastard.


Stuff like this ^ ? It's why you're favorited.
 
2013-07-19 12:49:48 PM  

Harry Freakstorm: FarkingReading: I came to Fark for a laugh this morning after getting some pretty rotten news and then I saw this. Ug.

Oh, and what was that rotten news? The 6-month-old puppy that is my 6-year-old's favorite thing in the world has to be put to sleep. It's being done today and we have to tell her tonight. This is going to be rough.

For the right amount, I'll 'break' into your 'house' and 'steal' said 'puppy' from your 'child'. But you're gonna have to take to pup to the vet. I've had to do that with a cocker spaniel and two cats. It doesn't get easier.

To make it look good, I'll also grab the big screen (non refundable) cause we don't want the kid to ask you in ten years "Why did the bad man only take my puppy and pistol whip daddy?"


I shouldn't chuckle at this but can't help it.
 
2013-07-19 12:54:26 PM  

bambi121899: Glad to see this story. It's a nice contrast to the other dog story that happened in the Twin Cities this week. WARNING: you'll want to punch your monitor. And cry.  http://www.twincities.com/localnews/ci_23688659/savage-man-accused-be a ting-dog-sledgehammer


Click that? Oh hell no!
 
2013-07-19 12:56:30 PM  
20 years with this dog. The older they get, the harder it is to say goodbye.  Had to put down our ancient cancer-ridden Aussie a few weeks ago. Best dog we ever had.  damn....
 
2013-07-19 01:05:03 PM  

Pray 4 Mojo: teenytinycornteeth: WHY ARE WE DOING THIS? WHY?

/weeping uncontrollably
//take your dusty room and cram it

Okay... let's tell funny dog stories.

I brought a chick home one time... we go to bed... and my dog jumps up there with us. Chick says... "I'm doing this with your dog in here." So I kicked her out. Fark you biatch... my dog was here first.

Now somebody else tell a better one...


My first dog, Marge, was an overweight beagle mix that ate EVERYTHING.  I once had to pull a smashed-by-a-truck-bird carcass out of her mouth because she was chewing it as we walked, like gum.  Anyway, I am also something of a slob and left a pile of laundry out and Marge loved eating the crotch out of underpants. (who doesn't?) What I didn't realize is that she pretty much ate the ENTIRE PAIR of underpants.  All I found were some little hot pink satin shreds on the ground.

The next day, out for our walk, she squats to poop and I see a little tuft of pink satin coming out of her butt.  She starts freaking because she can't push it out, whining, wiggling her butt...so yes, I had to reach down and, like a magician, pull the pink fabric free from her rectum in a dramatic flourish.  They were still recognizable as underpants, but my rule is "if its been digested by a dog, don't wear it again"
 
2013-07-19 01:08:06 PM  
Can we not do dead pet threads?  Can that be a rule?

Now onto the dead pet story.  Are dumb cat ran away when we went on vacation and our sitter accidentally let him and smart cat out.  Smart cat stayed, but smart cat and our dog were super lonely so we got a kitten a few months later. we named him Chi.  Chi was awesome he and the dog slept on the bed while we were out he and smart cat got along great.  One day a few months after we got him Chi stopped eating out of the blue.  We took him to the vet.  He had FIP.  I don't recall what FIP stands for and I refuse to look it up again.  Anyhow it's essentially an autoimmune disease that means congratulations your kitten is going to die and there's nothing you can do about it even if you offer the vet all your money to fix it.

So the vet says he's not long for this world but lets see how long we can keep him comfortable because it could be a week or two before it becomes necessary to euthanize.  We take home and Chi moved a grand total of 4 feet on his own he climbed onto my chest to sleep that night an off my chest to lay on the bed, and that was the sum total of things Chi did his last day.  We called the vet and took him in.  Smart cat and dog were as inconsolable as we were.

/pets are great
//losing them is not
 
2013-07-19 01:08:55 PM  
My mom's Australian Terrier will be 11 in December.  She's diabetic, and has lost her left eye to an infection a couple of years back.  She can't see very well in the other eye either, due to glaucoma.  Every day she gets eye drops and insulin twice a day.  I know that when she's gone she'll be in a better place, but I still don't want that day to come anytime soon.
 
2013-07-19 01:27:23 PM  

teenytinycornteeth: The next day, out for our walk, she squats to poop and I see a little tuft of pink satin coming out of her butt. She starts freaking because she can't push it out, whining, wiggling her butt...so yes, I had to reach down and, like a magician, pull the pink fabric free from her rectum in a dramatic flourish. They were still recognizable as underpants, but my rule is "if its been digested by a dog, don't wear it again"


TADA!

/You should donated them to Goodwill.
 
2013-07-19 01:28:18 PM  

John Buck 41: Cold_Sassy: bambi121899: Glad to see this story. It's a nice contrast to the other dog story that happened in the Twin Cities this week. WARNING: you'll want to punch your monitor. And cry.  http://www.twincities.com/localnews/ci_23688659/savage-man-accused-be a ting-dog-sledgehammer

... he later told police he had attempted to kill the dog because it was old, could barely walk and had defecated on the floor.   Sounds like he's describing himself.  Deserves the same "euthanization" method, also.

/Go kill yourself you old bastard.

Stuff like this ^ ? It's why you're favorited.


Thanks, mister.  I meant every word.
 
2013-07-19 01:29:46 PM  

John Buck 41: WayneKerr: Dogs die. That's what they do.

Buzzharsher


I have a new favorite word.
 
2013-07-19 01:37:02 PM  
So on Wed. we called on a request for foster homes for a litter of puppies. By the time we called they had been taken by a rescue org. so we weren't needed.

Then we went to the grocery store that night. As we leave some kids are talking about the dog outside. Wasn't a dog. Was a tiny puppy who still had her milk teeth and she was down by a busy street in a grassy area of the lot by herself. Fiancee went to check on her.

Two days later: Her name is Jean Louise. But her daddy calls her Scout. Guess it was fated for us to get a dog that day. Wish I was tech savvy enough to post a pic. of her and her big sister Angel who absolutely ADORES her.
 
2013-07-19 01:38:48 PM  

Glockenspiel Hero: 20 years old?  That's pretty incredible for a big dog.


That's pretty incredible for almost any dog.
 
2013-07-19 01:52:01 PM  

sandi_fish: FarkingReading: I came to Fark for a laugh this morning after getting some pretty rotten news and then I saw this. Ug.

Oh, and what was that rotten news? The 6-month-old puppy that is my 6-year-old's favorite thing in the world has to be put to sleep. It's being done today and we have to tell her tonight. This is going to be rough.

How utterly sad.  Are you going to tell her the truth?  I would lie and say the dog had to go to Superdog training school or something like that.  I could not tell a 6 year old that a six month old puppy had to be put to sleep.   Why does the puppy have to be put to sleep?


I heard something that makes sense....NEVER tell a child that any living thing has to be "put to SLEEP."  Then this child will associate SLEEP with death and dying, etc.
 
2013-07-19 01:56:25 PM  
Pioneer press's new website is annoying as fark, I stopped visiting
 
2013-07-19 02:00:31 PM  

Babbs: WayneKerr: Dogs die. That's what they do.

So do people. But I feel worse when dogs die than I do when most people die. Cause, you know, people suck. And you are proof.


Amen.
 
2013-07-19 02:03:39 PM  

thefatbasturd: So on Wed. we called on a request for foster homes for a litter of puppies. By the time we called they had been taken by a rescue org. so we weren't needed.

Then we went to the grocery store that night. As we leave some kids are talking about the dog outside. Wasn't a dog. Was a tiny puppy who still had her milk teeth and she was down by a busy street in a grassy area of the lot by herself. Fiancee went to check on her.

Two days later: Her name is Jean Louise. But her daddy calls her Scout. Guess it was fated for us to get a dog that day. Wish I was tech savvy enough to post a pic. of her and her big sister Angel who absolutely ADORES her.


Well, she'll need a best friend called Dill, soon...
 
2013-07-19 02:19:30 PM  
I still cry when I think about losing my Buddy.  14 years old.  Two weeks before he died he got Vestibular Syndrome.  First week awful, second week like a puppy again.  I went to work on Tuesday after Memorial Day and came home to him dead on his bed.  I can still see him there, can still smell his scent.  And dammit, crying as I write this.

Since then, I've taken in three dogs.  One abandoned as a nursing puppy with its mother at the pound, one was dumped at 10 weeks, bloated with worms, in the yard across from my house and one from a neighbor who just can't get around to fixing her dog.  Each one has thanked me in numerous ways, the most important being the greeting I get every day when I come home.

I've never had ANY person treat me as kindly as my dogs have.  Buddy was the most special dog ever, and I miss him like hell.

Buddy:  files.dogster.com

Trixie:files.dogster.com

Minnie:files.dogster.com

Jeep: files.dogster.com
 
2013-07-19 02:21:32 PM  
thefatbasturd: ...Two days later: Her name is Jean Louise. But her daddy calls her Scout. Guess it was fated for us to get a dog that day. Wish I was tech savvy enough to post a pic. of her and her big sister Angel who absolutely ADORES her.

That touched my heart.
 
2013-07-19 02:41:07 PM  

WayneKerr: Just another story to distract us from the atrocities set upon us by a corrupt government.


"Funny?" "Funny!"
 
2013-07-19 02:49:02 PM  
My Georgie, a Bassett / Lab mix, is 14 and is starting to show her age. Just a few minutes ago, she had some kind of palsy-like incident where her head was shaking uncontrollably from side to side. She looked so scared and all I could do was comfort her until it passed.

Don't know if it was a seizure or some other type of neuromuscular thingy.

I know what's coming, just don't know when. Makes me want to cry just thinking about it.
 
2013-07-19 02:49:23 PM  

Pray 4 Mojo: Pray 4 Mojo: "I'm doing this with your dog in here."

"NOT doing this"... Fark... I can't even tell a not-very-funny story right.

Do the needful: Lost a grandchild the year before

Dogs die... that's what they do. I've loved every dog I've ever had more than I can express... but they're with us only a short time. It's not hard to prepare to say goodbye.

Losing a grandchild (or a child) is just farking wretched awful. You have my sincerest sympathy.


Thank you. I really appreciate it. It was a phone call I never want to experience again in my life.
 
2013-07-19 02:53:51 PM  
FarkingReading: I came to Fark for a laugh this morning after getting some pretty rotten news and then I saw this. Ug.
Oh, and what was that rotten news? The 6-month-old puppy that is my 6-year-old's favorite thing in the world has to be put to sleep. It's being done today and we have to tell her tonight. This is going to be rough.


still haven't read Why.  Now reckon Won't.  So Sad when pets, esp Young Ones, must go or be sent to The Bridge.
 
2013-07-19 02:57:35 PM  

zabadu: Since then, I've taken in three dogs.


What kind of dog is Trixie?
 
Displayed 50 of 161 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report