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(WCVB Boston)   "This is malicious fecal distribution"   (wcvb.com) divider line 39
    More: Amusing, food distribution, security camera  
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7994 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jul 2013 at 10:37 PM (38 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-07-19 12:09:45 AM
5 votes:
NCSB time.

So I'm walking back from the nearest liquor store to complete the night's drinking supplies. We've already started but somehow fallen short, and I live there so I know what to do. I'm walking back and I take a slightly different path through my neighboring streets.

And the fateful gurgle hits my guts. But it's way too low to be merely hunger - it's that kind of gurgle that says I'm going to shiat myself with gallons of mud real soon.

I can't do that now what the fark?

So I desperately look around and decide, well, there's no one in that yard. And it has a slight gully running through it and a slight downhill slope to hide in. And it's late enough no one's driving. And a few trees.

So I'm shiatting for dear life and everything I've got in me is becoming a Superfund problem for some poor crayfish downstream. And then I hear movement in the house that's hosting my toilet time, but luckily no one ever comes out or looks out.

Then someone across the street runs out and jumps in their truck and tears off, luckily not seeing me. I'm getting really nervous here. How many Mutant Ninja Turtles do I need to spawn tonight?

And finally the crisis has passed and I have to decide. In my haste you'll notice one part of this story is missing: Where the hell is the poopin paper? And... and then in my shame comes the decision: How much do I like these socks?

In the end I decided the right sock I could part with. And thankfully one sock was enough.

I quickly walked away from the crimescene and made my way back. I guess it was the sudden loss of electrolytes and water but I stumbled and smashed one bottle all over the street, hurried away, nothing left to recover. I have no idea what I did when I got back but I don't imagine I caroused any further that night.
2013-07-18 11:13:35 PM
5 votes:
Her name is Nicole.

entropy2.com
2013-07-18 10:44:10 PM
4 votes:
"If it happens again, I'm going to run out there with a hose and hose her down and say, 'Bad human!'" he said,

It puts the poop in the toilet or else it gets the hose again.
2013-07-18 10:43:53 PM
4 votes:
Remember when you used to be able to discretely shiat in your favorite alley on your weekend morning jog without wiping?  Not anymore.

Thanks Google glass.
2013-07-19 12:17:00 AM
3 votes:

tarheel07: ReapTheChaos: Maybe she should take her morning shiat BEFORE she goes for a jog. Just a thought.

Who wants to have poo residue smearing and frothing between their sweaty ass cheeks?


Santorum!
2013-07-18 10:49:59 PM
3 votes:

SpdrJay: He should film Poopy McJogger and put her up on YouTube for the world to laugh at.

/


Better, sell the footage to a German pron company and make a good $$$.

A live webcam would be even better. I know some people who would pay big money for it.

/I mean I don't know these people just heard about them
//OK then, what's the price?
2013-07-18 11:56:53 PM
2 votes:

jtown: ReapTheChaos: Maybe she should take her morning shiat BEFORE she goes for a jog. Just a thought.

Sometimes it's the motion that gets things moving.  I can lay in bed reading for an hour without the slightest need to go to the bathroom.  Then I get up and walk to the kitchen.  My body says, "Time to poop.  Now!"

But this crazy chick's actions seem intentional.  I can see it happening once.  But getting caught out at the exact same place multiple times is no accident.


You're right. The first time is random. The second time is suspicious. But the turd time....
2013-07-18 11:21:24 PM
2 votes:
I guess you could say...
(•_•)
( •_•)>⌐■-■
(⌐■_■)
She really needed to poop but couldn't find a public restroom nearby and she is also very regular.
2013-07-18 10:44:20 PM
2 votes:

SwiftFox: Jabberwookiee: Poop thread?

Poop thread.


Okay, everyone, a poop thread has been declared.

God help us and have mercy on our souls.
2013-07-19 05:41:46 AM
1 votes:
Malicious fecal distribution
s23.postimg.org
Hippos do it.

s9.postimg.org

Monkeys do it
2013-07-19 01:47:17 AM
1 votes:
i1130.photobucket.com
2013-07-19 01:01:58 AM
1 votes:
Only a woman could get away with a mid run poop.  Ass hair would ruin a man's chance of doing it properly.

Also, if they catch this woman and she's doing it because she won't poop in her boyfriend's apartment because he'll think she is gross, that's a farking win right there...
2013-07-19 12:17:09 AM
1 votes:
Raging Whore Moans:


KMFD



Fixed that for you.
2013-07-19 12:01:48 AM
1 votes:

jtown: ReapTheChaos: Maybe she should take her morning shiat BEFORE she goes for a jog. Just a thought.

Sometimes it's the motion that gets things moving.  I can lay in bed reading for an hour without the slightest need to go to the bathroom.  Then I get up and walk to the kitchen.  My body says, "Time to poop.  Now!"

But this crazy chick's actions seem intentional.  I can see it happening once.  But getting caught out at the exact same place multiple times is no accident.


Well the bowels are complicit in the commission of the crime as one cannot just commandpoop.  Is it a terroristic attack?  Possibly.

/unremarkable
2013-07-19 12:01:25 AM
1 votes:

ReapTheChaos: Maybe she should take her morning shiat BEFORE she goes for a jog. Just a thought.


She probably tried, but if she had the hangover shiats and the jogging loosened it up, well, she might not have had a lot of warning or options.

It happens.
2013-07-19 12:01:07 AM
1 votes:
Fecal is an adjective. A distribution can be fecal only metaphorically.

/poop nazi
2013-07-18 11:56:34 PM
1 votes:
Amusing, subby?

That shiat ain't funny,
2013-07-18 11:56:10 PM
1 votes:

Raging Whore Moans: MFD


Get your new alt! I got your new alt right here! Just five greenbacks a month! Going once, going twice...
2013-07-18 11:54:01 PM
1 votes:
MFD
2013-07-18 11:35:14 PM
1 votes:
The Mad Crapper strikes again
2013-07-18 11:32:35 PM
1 votes:

DirtyDeadGhostofEbenezerCooke: Jabberwookiee: DirtyDeadGhostofEbenezerCooke: Her name is was Nicole.

[entropy2.com image 468x308]

Just accept it. She's dead. And has been for a long time.

So you're saying the mystery crapper is a ghost?

I like it!


Yeah, his driveway is totally haunted.

We could sell tickets and give tours and...shiat.
2013-07-18 11:30:00 PM
1 votes:
One girl One House?
2013-07-18 11:27:13 PM
1 votes:

ongbok: Wait a minute. What the hell did she wipe her ass with? Or did she run home with a shiatty ass? And if she ran home with a shiatty ass, that shiat must have been itching like hell all the way home.

/These are the important questions, not who she is.


So look for the perp with smelly fingers?
2013-07-18 11:22:07 PM
1 votes:

Old Man Winter: I guess you could say...
(•_•)
( •_•)>⌐■-■
(⌐■_■)
She really needed to poop but couldn't find a public restroom nearby and she is also very regular.


YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!
2013-07-18 11:15:03 PM
1 votes:

Gyrfalcon: baorao: ReapTheChaos: Maybe she should take her morning shiat BEFORE she goes for a jog. Just a thought.

She might be like my dog, where she has this extra poop reservoir dedicated for mid-exercise evacuation.

"Mid-exercise evacuation" is almost as good as Malicious Fecal Distribution.


"I'll take Punk Rock Band Names for $400 Alex"
2013-07-18 11:03:22 PM
1 votes:

ReapTheChaos: Maybe she should take her morning shiat BEFORE she goes for a jog. Just a thought.


Who wants to have poo residue smearing and frothing between their sweaty ass cheeks?
2013-07-18 10:57:37 PM
1 votes:
Well no wonder.  After her run she was pooped out.
2013-07-18 10:56:21 PM
1 votes:
What a shiatty thing to do
2013-07-18 10:55:34 PM
1 votes:
Have the poop videos gone viral yet? Wake me when they doo.
2013-07-18 10:51:04 PM
1 votes:
Eeeeew.  She doesn't even wipe.

s3.amazonaws.com

"If it happens again, I'm going to run out there with a hose and hose her down and say, 'Bad human!'"

Please, please, please catch this on HD cameras from multiple angles.

This has to be some crazy ex thing.  Maybe that's where one of her former boyfriends used to live and she's too crazy to realize that someone else lives there now.
2013-07-18 10:49:40 PM
1 votes:

ReapTheChaos: Maybe she should take her morning shiat BEFORE she goes for a jog. Just a thought.


She might be like my dog, where she has this extra poop reservoir dedicated for mid-exercise evacuation.
2013-07-18 10:48:50 PM
1 votes:
"Poop...there it is"....."Poop.... there it is"
2013-07-18 10:48:23 PM
1 votes:
I think it was Melissa Colorado.
2013-07-18 10:48:09 PM
1 votes:

Pribar: Or maybe a scoped air rifle, get in some target practice while you teach her manners


I imagine it going down like this.
2013-07-18 10:46:06 PM
1 votes:
Thought it was about "Talk Radio" at first.
2013-07-18 10:45:24 PM
1 votes:
He's worried about the police not taking it seriously? Fine. Don't take it to the police.

He has a web cam set up. Sub in something with a little more resolving power, zoom in, and once he has some footage that clearly identifies her, post her "in action" for all the world to see.

Send photos of her in the squat to the local papers.
2013-07-18 10:43:42 PM
1 votes:
He should film Poopy McJogger and put her up on YouTube for the world to laugh at.

/
2013-07-18 10:41:41 PM
1 votes:
Band name.
2013-07-18 10:41:05 PM
1 votes:
Poop thread?
 
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