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(WCVB Boston)   "This is malicious fecal distribution"   (wcvb.com) divider line 127
    More: Amusing, food distribution, security camera  
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8001 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jul 2013 at 10:37 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-07-18 11:13:35 PM
Her name is Nicole.

entropy2.com
 
2013-07-18 11:14:17 PM
bad human!
 
2013-07-18 11:15:03 PM

Gyrfalcon: baorao: ReapTheChaos: Maybe she should take her morning shiat BEFORE she goes for a jog. Just a thought.

She might be like my dog, where she has this extra poop reservoir dedicated for mid-exercise evacuation.

"Mid-exercise evacuation" is almost as good as Malicious Fecal Distribution.


"I'll take Punk Rock Band Names for $400 Alex"
 
2013-07-18 11:15:20 PM

DirtyDeadGhostofEbenezerCooke: Her name is was Nicole.

[entropy2.com image 468x308]


Just accept it. She's dead. And has been for a long time.
 
2013-07-18 11:15:23 PM
I think there's a good chance someone will see this and go *I know who she is* and it'll be all over the internet in no time

or someone will organize one of those human search engine things, crowd source? and hunt her down just to humiliate her

There was that woman in Japan I think it was whose little dog crapped on a train or a bus and she refused to pick it up
It was filmed and she was identified in no time
 
2013-07-18 11:16:36 PM

wildcardjack: Joggers diarrhea is a real problem. You jostle back and forth enough, along with drinking lots of water, and you're going to trip some "flush system" switch.


Uh, no. I ran three years of varsity cross country, and while I've had a couple times where I used those running skills to sprint for a toilet, it was much more of a Taco Bell-related thing.
 
2013-07-18 11:17:45 PM

jtown: Sometimes it's the motion that gets things moving. I can lay in bed reading for an hour without the slightest need to go to the bathroom. Then I get up and walk to the kitchen. My body says, "Time to poop. Now!"


Yep.  I was on a business trip once in a sort of wilderness area.  Decided to take advantage by going for an early morning jog and take in all of Mother Nature's glory.  Half-way through, the old bowels dropped like a two ton weight.  I left Mother Nature a gift on the side of the road and decided that early morning jogs were overrated.
 
2013-07-18 11:18:24 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-07-18 11:21:24 PM
I guess you could say...
(•_•)
( •_•)>⌐■-■
(⌐■_■)
She really needed to poop but couldn't find a public restroom nearby and she is also very regular.
 
2013-07-18 11:21:29 PM
Sell the house to Karl Rove. Show him where to plant the flowers.
 
2013-07-18 11:22:07 PM

Old Man Winter: I guess you could say...
(•_•)
( •_•)>⌐■-■
(⌐■_■)
She really needed to poop but couldn't find a public restroom nearby and she is also very regular.


YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!
 
2013-07-18 11:22:55 PM
i40.tinypic.com
 
2013-07-18 11:23:50 PM
Sounds like a police radio code.
 
2013-07-18 11:24:36 PM
Wait a minute. What the hell did she wipe her ass with? Or did she run home with a shiatty ass? And if she ran home with a shiatty ass, that shiat must have been itching like hell all the way home.

/These are the important questions, not who she is.
 
2013-07-18 11:26:05 PM

Jabberwookiee: DirtyDeadGhostofEbenezerCooke: Her name is was Nicole.

[entropy2.com image 468x308]

Just accept it. She's dead. And has been for a long time.


So you're saying the mystery crapper is a ghost?

I like it!
 
2013-07-18 11:27:13 PM

ongbok: Wait a minute. What the hell did she wipe her ass with? Or did she run home with a shiatty ass? And if she ran home with a shiatty ass, that shiat must have been itching like hell all the way home.

/These are the important questions, not who she is.


So look for the perp with smelly fingers?
 
2013-07-18 11:28:03 PM

KrispyKritter: Pribar: Invest in some poison oak and elephant grass hedges, that or string some razor wire around the perimeter to discourage the phantom shiatter

because cats, dogs, squirrels or deer would never wander into the area


Would hope they do, they're good eatin
 
2013-07-18 11:29:56 PM

Fart_Machine: ongbok: Wait a minute. What the hell did she wipe her ass with? Or did she run home with a shiatty ass? And if she ran home with a shiatty ass, that shiat must have been itching like hell all the way home.

/These are the important questions, not who she is.

So look for the perp with smelly fingers?


Look for the perp with a disgusting vaginal infection.
 
2013-07-18 11:30:00 PM
One girl One House?
 
2013-07-18 11:31:57 PM
Otherwise known as dog ownership.
 
2013-07-18 11:32:35 PM

DirtyDeadGhostofEbenezerCooke: Jabberwookiee: DirtyDeadGhostofEbenezerCooke: Her name is was Nicole.

[entropy2.com image 468x308]

Just accept it. She's dead. And has been for a long time.

So you're saying the mystery crapper is a ghost?

I like it!


Yeah, his driveway is totally haunted.

We could sell tickets and give tours and...shiat.
 
2013-07-18 11:34:05 PM

Fart_Machine: ongbok: Wait a minute. What the hell did she wipe her ass with? Or did she run home with a shiatty ass? And if she ran home with a shiatty ass, that shiat must have been itching like hell all the way home.

/These are the important questions, not who she is.

So look for the perp with smelly fingers?


That's gonna be a hell of a lineup
"Number 3 step forward. Arms forward, fingers out"
 
2013-07-18 11:35:14 PM
The Mad Crapper strikes again
 
2013-07-18 11:41:25 PM
Ewwwwwwwww! >.<
 
2013-07-18 11:46:42 PM
It's on the 10 pm news. Video. Teaser before commercials. Twice.
 
2013-07-18 11:47:09 PM
Just keep a video camera by the front/back door and watch for her.  When you see her approaching grab the camera and go out and film her schitting on your house, and get a good close up of her face.  Then post it on the internet!  No expectation of privacy when schitting in public!
 
2013-07-18 11:48:37 PM

baorao: ReapTheChaos: Maybe she should take her morning shiat BEFORE she goes for a jog. Just a thought.

She might be like my dog, where she has this extra poop reservoir dedicated for mid-exercise evacuation.


Then she should plan her run to go by a gas station or convenience store and use their bathroom.  That way she can not schitt in public and wipe her ass.
 
2013-07-18 11:54:01 PM
MFD
 
2013-07-18 11:56:10 PM

Raging Whore Moans: MFD


Get your new alt! I got your new alt right here! Just five greenbacks a month! Going once, going twice...
 
2013-07-18 11:56:34 PM
Amusing, subby?

That shiat ain't funny,
 
2013-07-18 11:56:53 PM

jtown: ReapTheChaos: Maybe she should take her morning shiat BEFORE she goes for a jog. Just a thought.

Sometimes it's the motion that gets things moving.  I can lay in bed reading for an hour without the slightest need to go to the bathroom.  Then I get up and walk to the kitchen.  My body says, "Time to poop.  Now!"

But this crazy chick's actions seem intentional.  I can see it happening once.  But getting caught out at the exact same place multiple times is no accident.


You're right. The first time is random. The second time is suspicious. But the turd time....
 
2013-07-19 12:01:07 AM
Fecal is an adjective. A distribution can be fecal only metaphorically.

/poop nazi
 
2013-07-19 12:01:25 AM

ReapTheChaos: Maybe she should take her morning shiat BEFORE she goes for a jog. Just a thought.


She probably tried, but if she had the hangover shiats and the jogging loosened it up, well, she might not have had a lot of warning or options.

It happens.
 
2013-07-19 12:01:26 AM
How about posting a "This Area Under Video Surveillance" sign?  It's true!
 
2013-07-19 12:01:48 AM

jtown: ReapTheChaos: Maybe she should take her morning shiat BEFORE she goes for a jog. Just a thought.

Sometimes it's the motion that gets things moving.  I can lay in bed reading for an hour without the slightest need to go to the bathroom.  Then I get up and walk to the kitchen.  My body says, "Time to poop.  Now!"

But this crazy chick's actions seem intentional.  I can see it happening once.  But getting caught out at the exact same place multiple times is no accident.


Well the bowels are complicit in the commission of the crime as one cannot just commandpoop.  Is it a terroristic attack?  Possibly.

/unremarkable
 
2013-07-19 12:04:39 AM

dv-ous: ReapTheChaos: Maybe she should take her morning shiat BEFORE she goes for a jog. Just a thought.

She probably tried, but if she had the hangover shiats and the jogging loosened it up, well, she might not have had a lot of warning or options.

It happens.


That is when you stop running, pinch your cheeks, walk and find the nearest McDonald's, Denny's, Dunkin Donuts, whatever. Dropping your draws and shiatting in a neighborhood is a little too native for me.
 
2013-07-19 12:09:45 AM
NCSB time.

So I'm walking back from the nearest liquor store to complete the night's drinking supplies. We've already started but somehow fallen short, and I live there so I know what to do. I'm walking back and I take a slightly different path through my neighboring streets.

And the fateful gurgle hits my guts. But it's way too low to be merely hunger - it's that kind of gurgle that says I'm going to shiat myself with gallons of mud real soon.

I can't do that now what the fark?

So I desperately look around and decide, well, there's no one in that yard. And it has a slight gully running through it and a slight downhill slope to hide in. And it's late enough no one's driving. And a few trees.

So I'm shiatting for dear life and everything I've got in me is becoming a Superfund problem for some poor crayfish downstream. And then I hear movement in the house that's hosting my toilet time, but luckily no one ever comes out or looks out.

Then someone across the street runs out and jumps in their truck and tears off, luckily not seeing me. I'm getting really nervous here. How many Mutant Ninja Turtles do I need to spawn tonight?

And finally the crisis has passed and I have to decide. In my haste you'll notice one part of this story is missing: Where the hell is the poopin paper? And... and then in my shame comes the decision: How much do I like these socks?

In the end I decided the right sock I could part with. And thankfully one sock was enough.

I quickly walked away from the crimescene and made my way back. I guess it was the sudden loss of electrolytes and water but I stumbled and smashed one bottle all over the street, hurried away, nothing left to recover. I have no idea what I did when I got back but I don't imagine I caroused any further that night.
 
2013-07-19 12:17:00 AM

tarheel07: ReapTheChaos: Maybe she should take her morning shiat BEFORE she goes for a jog. Just a thought.

Who wants to have poo residue smearing and frothing between their sweaty ass cheeks?


Santorum!
 
2013-07-19 12:17:09 AM
Raging Whore Moans:


KMFD



Fixed that for you.
 
2013-07-19 12:19:18 AM
"If it happens again, I'm going to run out there with a hose and hose her down and say, 'Bad human!'"

that was said in an artificially high, shrill voice, with wrists managing to flap and go limp while arms were still crossed. there's no other way.

/NTTAWWT
 
2013-07-19 12:19:48 AM

FARK rebel soldier: NCSB time.

So I'm walking back from the nearest liquor store to complete the night's drinking supplies. We've already started but somehow fallen short, and I live there so I know what to do. I'm walking back and I take a slightly different path through my neighboring streets.

And the fateful gurgle hits my guts. But it's way too low to be merely hunger - it's that kind of gurgle that says I'm going to shiat myself with gallons of mud real soon.

I can't do that now what the fark?

So I desperately look around and decide, well, there's no one in that yard. And it has a slight gully running through it and a slight downhill slope to hide in. And it's late enough no one's driving. And a few trees.

So I'm shiatting for dear life and everything I've got in me is becoming a Superfund problem for some poor crayfish downstream. And then I hear movement in the house that's hosting my toilet time, but luckily no one ever comes out or looks out.

Then someone across the street runs out and jumps in their truck and tears off, luckily not seeing me. I'm getting really nervous here. How many Mutant Ninja Turtles do I need to spawn tonight?

And finally the crisis has passed and I have to decide. In my haste you'll notice one part of this story is missing: Where the hell is the poopin paper? And... and then in my shame comes the decision: How much do I like these socks?

In the end I decided the right sock I could part with. And thankfully one sock was enough.

I quickly walked away from the crimescene and made my way back. I guess it was the sudden loss of electrolytes and water but I stumbled and smashed one bottle all over the street, hurried away, nothing left to recover. I have no idea what I did when I got back but I don't imagine I caroused any further that night.


You are truly a role model. May other farkers young and old look upon this post and behold the true glory of its wisdom.

/been there
//done that
///and then some
 
2013-07-19 12:33:55 AM
Jabberwookiee:
You are truly a role model. May other farkers young and old look upon this post and behold the true glory of its wisdom.

/been there
//done that
///and then some


This. I have been there and done that as well. Thankfully for me, the episodes happened in relatively unpopulated areas with a dense stand of trees nearby. I have learned from those experiences that I should not go for a walk shortly after eating a good dinner and enjoying a few beers. Only bad things can happen from that.
 
2013-07-19 12:59:12 AM
s3.amazonaws.com
 
2013-07-19 01:01:30 AM
Another reason to hate farkin' runners
 
2013-07-19 01:01:58 AM
Only a woman could get away with a mid run poop.  Ass hair would ruin a man's chance of doing it properly.

Also, if they catch this woman and she's doing it because she won't poop in her boyfriend's apartment because he'll think she is gross, that's a farking win right there...
 
2013-07-19 01:07:09 AM
For that neighborhood, it looks like his property is a shiathole.
 
2013-07-19 01:08:44 AM

SpaceBison: As someone who has run in races before, this is preferable to getting stuck behind the guy that has crapped his own pants.
[wtfoodge.com image 800x537]


Did he win?

I bet he was running faster after he shiat his pants. By the look on his face he looks like he can't stand his own smell and is trying to run away from himself. Can't run fast enough to do that.

But I really love the looks on the spectators faces.
 
2013-07-19 01:10:51 AM

SpaceBison: As someone who has run in races before, this is preferable to getting stuck behind the guy that has crapped his own pants.
[wtfoodge.com image 800x537]


"I thought it was a fart!"
 
2013-07-19 01:15:08 AM

Twitch Boy: Band name.


Came here to say that.
 
2013-07-19 01:16:58 AM
Malicious fecal distribution, eh? Reminds me of something.

I used to work at an airplane maintenance facility. One night maintenance gets a call that one of the restrooms smells horrible. Maybe a toilet plugged and overflowed. Maintenance gets there and inside one of the stalls someone smeared shiat all over the walls. Down the hall someone also wrote a message, in shiat, on a manager's office door.

I never did find out what that message was.
 
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