Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(PQ Monthly)   Farkette wants a date with George Clooney, who has conveniently broken up with Stacy Keibler   (pqmonthly.com) divider line 54
    More: Obvious, George Clooney, local celebrity, Hollywood Insider, fine dining, LGBT rights, Human Rights Campaign  
•       •       •

469 clicks; posted to FarkUs » on 18 Jul 2013 at 6:27 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



54 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-07-18 05:53:50 PM  
Get in line, sister. I'm a straight male, and I'm pretty sure that I'D bang Clooney given the opportunity.
 
2013-07-18 05:55:28 PM  
I'm not sure advertising on Fark is going to get you there

/Clooney strikes me as more of a Reddit guy
 
2013-07-18 05:59:32 PM  
Only George Clooney could drop something like this, knowing he can get younger and hotter:

www3.pictures.zimbio.com
 
2013-07-18 06:00:02 PM  
I read the whole letter, but I see you're appealing to his better nature. If my sister wrote that letter, it would probably include a variation of the phrase "bang me repeatedly like a snare drum owned by an autistic child" and/or several iterations of that theme. Probably with illustrations or cutouts from such upscale publications as Hustler.
 
2013-07-18 06:01:05 PM  
Are you a supermodel or hot actress?

From picture, Farkette is who a non-celebrity male in Clooney's age range would be proud to date, but this is Clooney.

CLOONEY.

I could think of the five hottest women I've ever actually seen in my life and Clooney would probably say "nope, wouldn't even touch 'em."

Again.  CLOONEY.

Props for the attempt, though.  One never knows what may happen until one tries.
 
2013-07-18 06:03:43 PM  
How does this get the interesting tag? All of the farketts want a date with George Cloony, even those of us who like other farketts.
 
2013-07-18 06:24:55 PM  
I might help if you had some kind of handicap or potato deficiency, but I think you're on your own here.

/plus, I bet you are a lurker
 
2013-07-18 06:26:56 PM  

tnpir: Only George Clooney could drop something like this, knowing he can get younger and hotter:

[www3.pictures.zimbio.com image 424x594]


And DiCapprio.
 
2013-07-18 06:31:43 PM  
Good luck. I was going to snark but I thought the letter was funny and at the very least succeeds in drawing attention to a good cause.
 
2013-07-18 06:45:59 PM  
OK, so which "Farkette" is she?
 
2013-07-18 06:49:20 PM  

tnpir: Only George Clooney could drop something like this, knowing he can get younger and hotter:

[www3.pictures.zimbio.com image 424x594]


No shiat man.

That chick is flawless.
 
2013-07-18 06:55:02 PM  

thismomentinblackhistory: Good luck. I was going to snark but I thought the letter was funny and at the very least succeeds in drawing attention to a good cause.


Gotta agree with this. Good luck to you, I hope Clooney responds, even if it doesn't quite work out.
 
2013-07-18 07:38:35 PM  
Don't let them talk you out of it. You keep at him.

If you need stalking equipment, I have some good high-powered binoculars that never get used anymore, thanks to that restraining order. Stupid judges getting in the way of my deep and abiding love for Anne Hathaway.
 
2013-07-18 09:25:54 PM  
Why women are so obsessed with status is beyond me. No really, status is beyond me.
 
2013-07-18 09:33:49 PM  

tnpir: Only George Clooney could drop something like this, knowing he can get younger and hotter:

[www3.pictures.zimbio.com image 424x594]



Sharp knees, etc....
 
2013-07-18 10:26:57 PM  
Sometimes success comes to the one who just has the guts to ask. I recall an article recently that was about how beautiful people are less likely to be asked out, because people are so afraid of being rejected that they go straight for the average-looking person, and write off the beautiful one without ever speaking a word to them. How do you know that beautiful person doesn't have a lot of common interests? Maybe you're both really into Star Trek: TNG, and you could have an awesome conversation about your favourite .gifs, or something, which later leads to you givin' each other lots of sex. It may be far-fetched but it's never impossible, and you'll never know unless you ask.

So, although I wish this Farkette the best of luck, it sounds like she already knows that, to a large extent, you make your own luck.
 
2013-07-18 11:00:50 PM  
and if he was a cashier at the local supermarket you wouldn't look twice.
 
2013-07-18 11:30:32 PM  
You'd have better luck getting a date with Stacy Keibler.
 
2013-07-19 01:48:34 AM  
/nomatterhowhotsheis.jpg
 
2013-07-19 01:59:17 AM  

Cyberluddite: OK, so which "Farkette" is she?


THIS.
 
2013-07-19 02:59:57 AM  

NASAM: tnpir: Only George Clooney could drop something like this, knowing he can get younger and hotter:

[www3.pictures.zimbio.com image 424x594]

No shiat man.

That chick is flawless.


I disagree.  She has pancake boobs.  I'd still do her.  Clooney's rejects are always going to be better than anything I can get.
 
2013-07-19 05:29:48 AM  

OgreMagi: NASAM: tnpir: Only George Clooney could drop something like this, knowing he can get younger and hotter:

[www3.pictures.zimbio.com image 424x594]

No shiat man.

That chick is flawless.

I disagree.  She has pancake boobs.  I'd still do her.  Clooney's rejects are always going to be better than anything I can get.


Really, dude?

If those are pancake boobs.....

admirationfoods.com

I'm gonna need a lot of syrup.
 
2013-07-19 06:19:09 AM  
First I nee to know your qualifications

BIE/EIP
 
2013-07-19 07:28:16 AM  

tnpir: Only George Clooney could drop something like this, knowing he can get younger and hotter:

[www3.pictures.zimbio.com image 424x594]


Remember, boys, no matter how hot she may seem, some guy, somewhere, is tired of her shiat.
 
2013-07-19 10:13:08 AM  

what_now: How does this get the interesting tag? All of the farketts want a date with George Cloony, even those of us who like other farketts.


Not I - he seems boring. Even in his movies.

/Any man who looks THAT good must spend a lot of time on himself - and I'm too selfish. I want him devoted to me, not his mirror.
 
2013-07-19 11:28:39 AM  
I will be sad when he rejects her by saying he has to promote his movie Ocean's 23.  That's the Clooney equivalent of saying he has to wash his hair that night.
 
2013-07-19 11:44:39 AM  
I don't want a relationship with the guy, just a date. It's a FUNDRAISER. So please share the link with everyone you know in the spirit of giving. Also, I haven't had a single date this year, so I NEED THIS.

;)
 
2013-07-19 12:14:23 PM  

TaraDublinRocks: I don't want a relationship with the guy, just a date. It's a FUNDRAISER. So please share the link with everyone you know in the spirit of giving. Also, I haven't had a single date this year, so I NEED THIS.

;)


Hey, I wish you the best of luck on it. It's a longshot, but just like the lottery, you can't win if you don't play.

Also, I find it very difficult to believe you haven't had a date in a year.
 
2013-07-19 12:25:04 PM  
Well, thank you, but I've been (mostly) unhappily single for a long time now, since March 2012. I went on a few really bad dates last year so I haven't been out with anyone new in 2013. Portland's a tough town if you're a single straight woman over 40.
 
2013-07-19 12:31:35 PM  

TaraDublinRocks: Well, thank you, but I've been (mostly) unhappily single for a long time now, since March 2012. I went on a few really bad dates last year so I haven't been out with anyone new in 2013. Portland's a tough town if you're a single straight woman over 40.


Adult Friend Finder
 
2013-07-19 12:39:37 PM  
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

No online dating stuff. No more. It's BAD. BAD, I tell you.

http://taradublinrocks.tumblr.com/post/43849120156/like-a-train-wrec k- i-cannot-look-away
 
2013-07-19 01:26:39 PM  
When did you break up with Stacey Keibler?
 
2013-07-19 01:27:44 PM  

Langston: Get in line, sister. I'm a straight male, and I'm pretty sure that I'D bang Clooney given the opportunity.


He'd just use you and toss you away like a used rubber like he does to all his women.
 
2013-07-19 01:37:56 PM  

SurfaceTension: tnpir: Only George Clooney could drop something like this, knowing he can get younger and hotter:

[www3.pictures.zimbio.com image 424x594]

Remember, boys, no matter how hot she may seem, some guy, somewhere, is tired of her shiat.


Using this tired, stupid, and unfunny line should be cause for an immediate ban. Is it 1999?
 
2013-07-19 01:38:48 PM  

Crewmannumber6: TaraDublinRocks: Well, thank you, but I've been (mostly) unhappily single for a long time now, since March 2012. I went on a few really bad dates last year so I haven't been out with anyone new in 2013. Portland's a tough town if you're a single straight woman over 40.

Adult Friend Finder


Cougarlife.com maybe you can get in one of their sweet commercials
 
2013-07-19 01:53:48 PM  

TaraDublinRocks: Well, thank you, but I've been (mostly) unhappily single for a long time now, since March 2012. I went on a few really bad dates last year so I haven't been out with anyone new in 2013. Portland's a tough town if you're a single straight woman over 40.


That's too bad.  Come out to my town and I can offer you another disappointing date.  It's Dublin, which means it was preordained.  :D
 
2013-07-19 02:09:46 PM  

TaraDublinRocks: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

No online dating stuff. No more. It's BAD. BAD, I tell you.

http://taradublinrocks.tumblr.com/post/43849120156/like-a-train-wrec k- i-cannot-look-away


YIKES
 
2013-07-19 02:26:28 PM  

TaraDublinRocks: Portland's a tough town if you're a single straight woman over 40.


Did you ever think about lowering your standards, just a little? I'm sure there are available men who are not celebrity multimillionaires; as one example where you could lower your standards.
 
2013-07-19 02:53:34 PM  

Mentat: tnpir: Only George Clooney could drop something like this, knowing he can get younger and hotter:

[www3.pictures.zimbio.com image 424x594]

And DiCapprio.


And James Woods
 
2013-07-19 03:24:51 PM  

Because People in power are Stupid: TaraDublinRocks: Portland's a tough town if you're a single straight woman over 40.

Did you ever think about lowering your standards, just a little? I'm sure there are available men who are not celebrity multimillionaires; as one example where you could lower your standards.


Trust me, I don't need a multimillionaire movie star. But a MAN would be nice. The males of Portland I've encountered have all be boys playing at being men. And my standards are pretty, well, standard: a smart, funny, attractive guy over 35 who likes stuff I like and won't flake out on me. Portland is full of flaky men, and everyone suddenly seems to be 32. It's not a fun time right now.
 
2013-07-19 03:25:58 PM  
have all BEEN boys playing at men. Yay internet typos! (Grammar nerd here)
 
2013-07-19 03:31:07 PM  
Funny
Smart
Dark-haired
Great kisser
Sexy
Reliable
Attentive
Confident
Liberal
Loves to cook & eats everything
Has seen lots of movies & likes cool music
Possibly tattooed
Not passive
A good man to have around my sons
Maybe plays guitar
Not addicted to any substances
Supportive of me
Lives within an acceptable driving distance
Is over 40 (although I'd accept someone as young as 36 if the proper maturity levels were in effect)


There are things on that list that don't necessarily make your average VIN diagram overlap
 
2013-07-19 03:33:54 PM  
A girl can dream. :)
 
2013-07-19 03:35:51 PM  
Too bad you're not into over 50, broke, married men. Otherwise we'd be perfect for each other.
 
2013-07-19 03:45:31 PM  
We're veering way far away from the point here, which is, I'm trying to raise money and awareness for marriage equality and Human Rights Campaign. The Gala is a week from tomorrow, so we're running out of time to get this going.
 
2013-07-19 04:22:34 PM  

TaraDublinRocks: I'm trying to raise money and awareness for marriage equality and Human Rights Campaign.


This sounds more like an elaborate means of trapping your celebrity crush into "just a date".

I'm sorry but I just read "Train Wreck" and although I think you are a great story-teller/writer... I would not want to date you and I'm no where near George Clooney status. Furthermore, I don't think you could get past a level 3 handler for George Clooney. (If you are counting that's assistant to the assistant to the assistant of GC).

As I said, I think you are a good writer -perhaps you could meet a man who is also a writer. There are lots of places where people share their writing and rely on each other for critiques and support.

Alternately, I think you should consider some of those guys that you put in the "friend zone". Even if you just go out with them as friends -you may be introduced to someone else through the interaction.

As far as decrying men as being "boys" -I bet you couldn't walk a mile in their shoes. That guy with the fountainhead book for example -sounded like he was trying to kindly let you down. It was probably for the best.  Don't be so hard on them or yourself.

Furthermore, don't have a set of rules (example: "must not like Ayn Rand"; "must know who Foo Fighters are"). It's a sad commentary on our society that we become  fixated with pop culture as symbols. We view talking about these symbols as an exchange of meaning -when in fact the meaning is rather vapid.

But hey, I'm not seeking to date the female equivalent of George Clooney (who is that Eva Longoria?)
 
2013-07-19 04:34:08 PM  

TaraDublinRocks: Because People in power are Stupid: TaraDublinRocks: Portland's a tough town if you're a single straight woman over 40.

Did you ever think about lowering your standards, just a little? I'm sure there are available men who are not celebrity multimillionaires; as one example where you could lower your standards.

Trust me, I don't need a multimillionaire movie star. But a MAN would be nice. The males of Portland I've encountered have all be boys playing at being men. And my standards are pretty, well, standard: a smart, funny, attractive guy over 35 who likes stuff I like and won't flake out on me. Portland is full of flaky men, and everyone suddenly seems to be 32. It's not a fun time right now.


Well there's your problem.
 
2013-07-19 04:52:42 PM  
I'm seeking a date to raise money for the Human Rights Campaign, not a relationship for the rest of my life.
 
2013-07-19 05:12:18 PM  

TaraDublinRocks: I'm seeking a date to raise money for the Human Rights Campaign, not a relationship for the rest of my life.


Uh huh, caught that -It's just a big coincidence that you want to date George Clooney. Pray tell, is the charity money going to one of George Clooney's favorite charities? No?

Then how are you going to get past his handlers?
 
2013-07-19 05:20:45 PM  
I chose Clooney because he was in the news for being single again. I certainly wouldn't choose someone who was already married, like Dave Grohl.
 
Displayed 50 of 54 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report