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(Breaking News) NewsFlash City of Detroit files for Chapter 9 bankruptcy protection, Omni Consumer Products rumored to be offering bailout   (breakingnews.com) divider line 674
    More: NewsFlash, White House, emergency managers, insolvent, bankruptcy, real options  
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8200 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jul 2013 at 5:32 PM (39 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»


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674 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-07-18 04:25:50 PM
static.guim.co.uk
The city is already as bad of a warzone as it's portrayed in the movie, so it's about damn time this got started.
 
2013-07-18 04:28:01 PM
'bout f**kin' time!

The place has been circling the drain for years.
 
2013-07-18 04:28:11 PM
If MC Hammer can bounce back, so can Detroit
 
2013-07-18 04:29:48 PM

ourbigdumbmouth: If MC Hammer can bounce back, so can Detroit


they just have to pray
 
2013-07-18 04:30:27 PM
God I hope Detroit's soul music gets repossessed, sold at auction to a Chinese billionaire.
 
2013-07-18 04:31:11 PM
If they liquidate the city's assets, that should raise dozens of dollars.
 
2013-07-18 04:32:30 PM

log_jammin: ourbigdumbmouth: If MC Hammer can bounce back, so can Detroit

they just have to pray


When all else fails just throw some Pumps in the Bump
 
2013-07-18 04:34:03 PM
I hope Detroit's baseless civic pride gets sold to Des Moines.
 
2013-07-18 04:34:13 PM
WE'RE #1!
WE'RE #1!
WE'RE #1!
 
2013-07-18 04:34:55 PM

Nabb1: If they liquidate the city's assets, that should raise dozens of dollars.


Just like mortgaging Baltic and Mediterranean avenue.
 
2013-07-18 04:37:01 PM
Hey, can we make Detroit a giant Mexican embassy?  Two birds with one stone.
 
2013-07-18 04:38:41 PM
I faced a similar problem in Sim City. I resolved it through cheat codes
 
2013-07-18 04:39:44 PM

Nabb1: If they liquidate the city's assets, that should raise dozens of dollars.


We have the People Mover. So that's like, $50 right there.
 
2013-07-18 04:40:41 PM

megarian: WE'RE #1!
WE'RE #1!
WE'RE #1!


Seems more like #2.
 
2013-07-18 04:42:33 PM

Boojum2k: megarian: WE'RE #1!
WE'RE #1!
WE'RE #1!

Seems more like #2.


But we're the largest city to file.

Don't take this away from us...
 
2013-07-18 04:45:40 PM
I hear they're selling off the midnight train going anywhere.
 
2013-07-18 04:47:10 PM

megarian: Don't take this away from us...


Sorry, it's going on auction along with the rest of Detroit's points of pride.  Oslo has been looking for a title like this for a while.
 
2013-07-18 04:48:06 PM

megarian: Boojum2k: megarian: WE'RE #1!
WE'RE #1!
WE'RE #1!

Seems more like #2.

But we're the largest city to file.

Don't take this away from us...


Now I just want to visit for the parade.

/if you're going to suck, might as well be the suckiest bunch of sucks who ever sucked
 
2013-07-18 04:49:02 PM
Teach the others a lesson.
 
2013-07-18 04:49:20 PM

megarian: Boojum2k: megarian: WE'RE #1!
WE'RE #1!
WE'RE #1!

Seems more like #2.

But we're the largest city to file.

Don't take this away from us...


I think you interpreted "#2" incorrectly.
 
2013-07-18 04:50:35 PM

Nabb1: megarian: Boojum2k: megarian: WE'RE #1!
WE'RE #1!
WE'RE #1!

Seems more like #2.

But we're the largest city to file.

Don't take this away from us...

I think you interpreted "#2" incorrectly.


Poopy
 
2013-07-18 04:51:15 PM
images.celebstwitter.com
 
2013-07-18 04:51:23 PM

Nabb1: megarian: Boojum2k: megarian: WE'RE #1!
WE'RE #1!
WE'RE #1!

Seems more like #2.

But we're the largest city to file.

Don't take this away from us...

I think you interpreted "#2" incorrectly.


No. I get it. Poop.

/poop
//poop thread?
 
2013-07-18 04:52:43 PM

miss diminutive: megarian: Boojum2k: megarian: WE'RE #1!
WE'RE #1!
WE'RE #1!

Seems more like #2.

But we're the largest city to file.

Don't take this away from us...

Now I just want to visit for the parade.

/if you're going to suck, might as well be the suckiest bunch of sucks who ever sucked


At least the parade will have a bonfire.

Well, maybe a few of them.
 
2013-07-18 04:53:09 PM
But the Tigers are still in 1st.
 
2013-07-18 04:53:18 PM

megarian: miss diminutive: megarian: Boojum2k: megarian: WE'RE #1!
WE'RE #1!
WE'RE #1!

Seems more like #2.

But we're the largest city to file.

Don't take this away from us...

Now I just want to visit for the parade.

/if you're going to suck, might as well be the suckiest bunch of sucks who ever sucked

At least the parade will have a bonfire.

Well, maybe a few of them.


What's left to burn?
 
2013-07-18 04:54:03 PM
i789.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-18 04:54:33 PM

megarian: miss diminutive: megarian: Boojum2k: megarian: WE'RE #1!
WE'RE #1!
WE'RE #1!

Seems more like #2.

But we're the largest city to file.

Don't take this away from us...

Now I just want to visit for the parade.

/if you're going to suck, might as well be the suckiest bunch of sucks who ever sucked

At least the parade will have a bonfire.

Well, maybe a few of them.


Any late night, extreme discount, brick-window shopping on the schedule?
 
2013-07-18 04:57:20 PM
Congratulations on finally achieving parity with Stockton, CA!
 
2013-07-18 05:00:01 PM

miss diminutive: megarian: miss diminutive: megarian: Boojum2k: megarian: WE'RE #1!
WE'RE #1!
WE'RE #1!

Seems more like #2.

But we're the largest city to file.

Don't take this away from us...

Now I just want to visit for the parade.

/if you're going to suck, might as well be the suckiest bunch of sucks who ever sucked

At least the parade will have a bonfire.

Well, maybe a few of them.

Any late night, extreme discount, brick-window shopping on the schedule?


I hope so. I got my good lootin' shoes on.
 
2013-07-18 05:01:12 PM

megarian: I got my good lootin' shoes on.


Fire Sale!
 
2013-07-18 05:08:10 PM

megarian: But we're the largest city to file.
Don't take this away from us...


Really? People still actually live in Detroit?

Don't worry, though--not only are you #1 in bankruptcy, you'll alway be ranked #1 in dumpster fires, too!
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-07-18 05:08:58 PM
WSJ writes: Most at risk under the bankruptcy case is the city's $11 billion in unsecured debt. That includes almost $6 billion in health and other benefits for retirees; more than $3 billion for retiree pensions; and about $530 million in general-obligation bonds.

Offer former employees free housing in Detroit in lieu of pension and other benefits.
 
wee [TotalFark]
2013-07-18 05:11:37 PM
$9.2 billion in unfunded pension obligations will do that to you.

Blood from a stone...
 
2013-07-18 05:12:00 PM

Cyberluddite: megarian: But we're the largest city to file.
Don't take this away from us...

Really? People still actually live in Detroit?

Don't worry, though--not only are you #1 in bankruptcy, you'll alway be ranked #1 in dumpster fires, too!


See! Now THAT'S looking on the bright side!
 
2013-07-18 05:14:26 PM

ZAZ: WSJ writes: Most at risk under the bankruptcy case is the city's $11 billion in unsecured debt. That includes almost $6 billion in health and other benefits for retirees; more than $3 billion for retiree pensions; and about $530 million in general-obligation bonds.

Offer former employees free housing in Detroit in lieu of pension and other benefits.



But..but...that's too logical! It'll never work! You'll shatter the space time barrier if you attempt to inject logic like that into a city like Detroit!
 
2013-07-18 05:15:17 PM
Don't mess with Dick Jones
 
2013-07-18 05:17:14 PM

megarian: I hope so. I got my good lootin' shoes on.


Woot! I'll go dust off my bag of holding.
 
2013-07-18 05:17:51 PM

strangeluck: But..but...that's too logical! It'll never work!


Most of the cheap abandoned houses in Detroit have been befouled by squatters, had their wiring and plumbing stolen, and have a structural integrity akin to paper mache.
 
2013-07-18 05:18:48 PM
But, but, Republicans. GOP, even!
 
2013-07-18 05:23:15 PM
They probably just finished listening to Peter Francis Geraci's tapes.
 
2013-07-18 05:26:58 PM

Boojum2k: megarian: I got my good lootin' shoes on.

Fire Sale!


Black Day in July anniversary is Tuesday.
 
2013-07-18 05:33:51 PM

strangeluck: [static.guim.co.uk image 460x276]
The city is already as bad of a warzone as it's portrayed in the movie, so it's about damn time this got started.


Worse, actually.
 
2013-07-18 05:34:17 PM
So how *do* you repo an entire city, anyway?
 
2013-07-18 05:35:00 PM
I'm calling this "Black Day in July 2: Electric Boogaloo"
 
2013-07-18 05:35:44 PM

Kuroshin: So how *do* you repo an entire city, anyway?


Mark my words, Michigan tax payers will foot the bill.
 
2013-07-18 05:36:02 PM
Liberal Paradise.
 
2013-07-18 05:36:08 PM
Detwoit?
 
2013-07-18 05:36:41 PM

megarian: Nabb1: megarian: Boojum2k: megarian: WE'RE #1!
WE'RE #1!
WE'RE #1!

Seems more like #2.

But we're the largest city to file.

Don't take this away from us...

I think you interpreted "#2" incorrectly.

No. I get it. Poop.

/poop
//poop thread?


Detroit thread

/same difference
//poop
 
2013-07-18 05:36:54 PM
I'd buy that for a dollar...
 
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