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(Salon)   "The Conjuring" is a piece of rightwing Christian propaganda masquerading as a horror film. No, really   (salon.com) divider line 121
    More: Interesting, horror movies, Delta Sagittarii, alien abductions, peasants, Christian films, mainstream hollywood, camera angles, Just for the Record  
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5823 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 18 Jul 2013 at 4:48 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



121 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-07-18 02:16:47 PM
i would like to know vera farmiga biblically.
 
2013-07-18 02:19:54 PM
Its based on an 'actual case' by the Ed and Lorraine Warren, who are known fraudsters who trumped up
every cast they ever worked.
 
2013-07-18 02:21:20 PM

DjangoStonereaver: Its based on an 'actual case' by the Ed and Lorraine Warren, who are known fraudsters who trumped up
every cast they ever worked.


interesting. not familiar with them. will google...
 
2013-07-18 02:58:27 PM

FlashHarry: DjangoStonereaver: Its based on an 'actual case' by the Ed and Lorraine Warren, who are known fraudsters who trumped up
every cast they ever worked.

interesting. not familiar with them. will google...


i.qkme.me
 
2013-07-18 03:15:25 PM
classicalchristianity.com

Someone needs to remove all this sand from her vagina.
 
2013-07-18 03:31:01 PM

vernonFL: [classicalchristianity.com image 850x680]

Someone needs to remove all this sand from her his vagina.


The author:

media.salon.com
 
2013-07-18 03:41:22 PM

Nabb1: his vagina


A man wrote that? Oh Jesus its worse than I thought.
 
2013-07-18 03:53:16 PM

DjangoStonereaver: Its based on an 'actual case' by the Ed and Lorraine Warren, who are known fraudsters who trumped up every cast they ever worked.


Knowing nothing about them until I read your post, I somehow knew they were involved in Amityville anyway. (My actual thought was: "I wonder if they were the 'investigators' the Luntzes hired, and if every single modern 'haunted house' story - Skeleton Key, Amityville Horror, etc - was 'based on' that same tale they told.")

// if you're going to watch either of the Amityville Horrors, watch the one with Ryan Reynolds
// the one from the 70s takes a hard left turn somewhere in reel 2, and never fully recovers
 
2013-07-18 03:56:09 PM

Dr Dreidel: watch the one with Ryan Reynolds


There are a few scenes where he isn't wearing a shirt   and I oh what um and what is this thread about?
 
2013-07-18 04:04:18 PM
We'll see what CAPalert has to say

www.capalert.com
 
2013-07-18 04:10:15 PM
Lemme guess...the movie blames witches, pagans, atheists and women?
 
2013-07-18 04:14:04 PM

DanZero: We'll see what CAPalert has to say



I always forget about that site because it's so terribly designed I block it out of my memory but when I remember it and look it up it's always a hoot.

So yeah, Hollywood has a vested interest in making horror films to convert teenagers to Christianity. That just makes perfect sense. That's why they just give blank checks to Kirk Cameron. Because Hollywood is so damned Christian.
 
2013-07-18 04:15:18 PM
It's not unheard of for these types horror films to be supported, financially and otherwise, by religious groups. The Exorcism of Emily Rose was similar. The idea is that if they can convince you that the Devil exists, God must exist, too.
 
2013-07-18 04:18:07 PM

JerseyTim: The Exorcism of Emily Rose was similar. The idea is that if they can convince you that the Devil exists, God must exist, too.


I only saw pieces of that movie but wasn't the priest found guilty of...something and the jury didn't buy that Dexter's sister was actually possessed?
 
2013-07-18 04:22:17 PM
It's a movie based on the reassuring premise that when something is wrong in your family, your community or your country, you don't have to worry about the priests, the cops, the dads or the other male authority figures. They're the good guys. Blame the women.

Biatches be causin' all kinds of problems.
 
2013-07-18 04:26:04 PM
eh, so what? Seriously. Who would possibly give a f*ck?
 
2013-07-18 04:26:35 PM

Weaver95: Lemme guess...the movie blames witches, pagans, atheists and women?


Well, who would you blame? Sheesh
 
2013-07-18 04:32:06 PM

ourbigdumbmouth: Weaver95: Lemme guess...the movie blames witches, pagans, atheists and women?

Well, who would you blame? Sheesh


No love for the Jews? The gays? People who are left-handed?
 
2013-07-18 04:35:00 PM

vernonFL: [classicalchristianity.com image 850x680]

Someone needs to remove all this sand from her vagina.


Yes, one gets the sense that this guy is reading waaaaay too much into this movie.  Perhaps they should have dressed Farmiga in a go-go outfit.
 
2013-07-18 04:36:00 PM

FlashHarry: i would like to know vera farmiga biblically.


Oh, yes, please.
 
2013-07-18 04:40:56 PM
What was the name of that Catholic movie review site that used to get posted here?  I'd like to compare reviews.

If this overcritical twerp hated it so much for those reasons, they must love it over there.
 
2013-07-18 04:45:42 PM
So was The Passion of the Christ.
 
2013-07-18 04:48:12 PM

Paris1127: No love for the Jews? The gays? People who are left-handed?


Whoa, back off on the Jews unless you want to have to finance your own movies.
 
2013-07-18 04:49:59 PM
stop injecting your politics into the movies you watch.

kthxbai
 
2013-07-18 04:50:36 PM

DanZero: We'll see what CAPalert has to say


D'oh!  Missed your post.
 
2013-07-18 04:52:51 PM
I couldn't get past the first paragraph but my initial impressions of the trailers have been that it almost seems like a spoof of actual horror movies, in the fashion of Scary Movie. Everytime I see the trailers I keep expecting something absurd to happen.
 
2013-07-18 04:54:50 PM

FloydA: So was The Passion of the Christ.


I loved The Jesus Chainsaw Massacre!
 
2013-07-18 04:54:57 PM

FlashHarry: i would like to know vera farmiga biblically.


Nice little rack. NSFW
 
2013-07-18 04:57:04 PM
What the hell was that guy talking about?
 
2013-07-18 05:00:18 PM
"If the script by twin brothers Chad and Carey Hayes (once the lead writers on the '90s mystery-spinoff series "Baywatch Nights,"


aaaand we are done here.
 
2013-07-18 05:03:45 PM
I prefer my "based on a true story" genre horror films to end with a thorough debunking by skeptics and the haunted house in question to become a kitschy tourist trap for people traveling somewhere else. It's that sort of satisfying denouement that I require from supernatural horror.
 
2013-07-18 05:05:50 PM
FTA:  "The Conjuring" wants to walk back one of America's earliest historical crimes, the Salem Witch Trials of 1692 and make it look like there must have been something to it after all. Those terrified colonial women, brainwashed, persecuted and murdered by the religious authorities of their day - see, they actually were witches, who slaughtered children and pledged their love to Satan and everything! That's not poetic license It's reprehensible and inexcusable bullshiat "

Holy Cow!  That writer is way too unhinged and butt hurt.
 
2013-07-18 05:05:59 PM
Wan was a creator of the "Saw" franchise and directed its first film, and because of that has frequently been pilloried as an example of everything that's wrong with contemporary horror.

Why?? The first Saw movie was great. I only sat through the second because it had Shawnee Smith, but the first one was awesome. I loved the limited set size and the minimal cast.
 
2013-07-18 05:06:31 PM
Still going to see it.

/how hard is it to live life constantly seeing your opposite political party's boogeymen in everything, Salon "writer"?
 
2013-07-18 05:07:43 PM

DjangoStonereaver: Its based on an 'actual case' by the Ed and Lorraine Warren, who are known fraudsters who trumped up
every cast they ever worked.


THESE are the people who brought us the Amityville Fraud?

I'll pirate this movie, just to keep them from getting a penny from me, even indirectly thru HBO.Fark them.
 
2013-07-18 05:07:49 PM

FlashHarry: i would like to know vera farmiga biblically and vertically, and horizontally, and as a friend, and as more than a friend, and....


Fixed that for me.

There's been a spot in my celeb-crush heart for Ms. Farmiga ever since I saw her on a old NBC TV series that never got a chance called UC: Undercover.
 
2013-07-18 05:09:15 PM

TrainingWheelsNeeded: I couldn't get past the first paragraph but my initial impressions of the trailers have been that it almost seems like a spoof of actual horror movies, in the fashion of Scary Movie. Everytime I see the trailers I keep expecting something absurd to happen.


it apparently falls back on the usual new england haunting cliches (some sort of salem witch connection.) In this case the author claims he's descended from a convicted "witch" so he's mad that they still get trotted out as the root of evil. not sure why this is a political thing and not just cliched writing, but i guess if my family almost didn't exist because a bunch of idiots almost drowned my ancestors based on their ridiculous witch crap, i might be crabby when the same stories about them are still getting trotted out hundreds of years later.
 
2013-07-18 05:10:09 PM
Welcome to out sanguinary sect of worship.
Feel at home in our black conventicle,
As we anathematise
All of those who oppose us.
Don't summon the devil,
Don't call the priests,
If you need the strength
The conjuring. Obey!!!
Behold the flames rise
From the compass' cardinal points.
Burn the sacred oil,
And, with the ashes you'll annoint.
Arrange the symbols,
Of the wizard, and, magician.
Light the candles,
Place the parchment paper in position.
Between it's leaves place
The lash from a black cat's eye,
A straw of a broom,
Fold, and, burn, and, centralise.
Don't summon the devil,
Don't call the priests,
If you need the strength,
The conjuring.
I am the devil's advocate,
A salesman, if you will
You know my name. [You know my name]
I met your father years ago,
Gave him what he'd please.
He called my name, you'll do the same.
I'm claiming what is mine by right,
It's time to close the deal.
You're bought and sold, bought and sold.
Come join me in my infernal depths,
Mephisto's hall of fame.
I've got your soul, I've got your soul.
The conjuring. Obey!!!
 
2013-07-18 05:10:34 PM

Mugato: JerseyTim: The Exorcism of Emily Rose was similar. The idea is that if they can convince you that the Devil exists, God must exist, too.

I only saw pieces of that movie but wasn't the priest found guilty of...something and the jury didn't buy that Dexter's sister was actually possessed?


Not a great movie but not bad. It tried to be a little deeper than the average horror movie without being preachy. After medical treatment failed the family turned to the priest and the girl died during an exorcism. The jury found the priest guilty of negligence in her death but as an acknowledgment that he hadn't actually done anything morally wrong asked that he be given a sentence of time served.
 
2013-07-18 05:12:30 PM

Nabb1: vernonFL: [classicalchristianity.com image 850x680]

Someone needs to remove all this sand from her his vagina.

The author:

[media.salon.com image 75x75]


However, I do think that he still has a vagina (no, not the use of one from a friendly woman-type person, one of his own). That style of writing is distinctive to the gritty hoo-ha crowd. At the end of it, I was wondering who had eaten the very special Little Debbies cake that he had put in the office refrigerator and had been looking forward to snacking on all day long.
 
2013-07-18 05:13:21 PM

Klom Dark: Welcome to out sanguinary sect of worship.
Feel at home in our black conventicle,
As we anathematise
All of those who oppose us.
Don't summon the devil,
Don't call the priests,
If you need the strength
The conjuring. Obey!!!
Behold the flames rise
From the compass' cardinal points.
Burn the sacred oil,
And, with the ashes you'll annoint.
Arrange the symbols,
Of the wizard, and, magician.
Light the candles,
Place the parchment paper in position.
Between it's leaves place
The lash from a black cat's eye,
A straw of a broom,
Fold, and, burn, and, centralise.
Don't summon the devil,
Don't call the priests,
If you need the strength,
The conjuring.
I am the devil's advocate,
A salesman, if you will
You know my name. [You know my name]
I met your father years ago,
Gave him what he'd please.
He called my name, you'll do the same.
I'm claiming what is mine by right,
It's time to close the deal.
You're bought and sold, bought and sold.
Come join me in my infernal depths,
Mephisto's hall of fame.
I've got your soul, I've got your soul.
The conjuring. Obey!!!


Damn you beat me to it. One of my all time favorites.  *fist bump
 
2013-07-18 05:13:40 PM
OK but is the movie any good?
 
2013-07-18 05:14:04 PM

js34603: Still going to see it.

/how hard is it to live life constantly seeing your opposite political party's boogeymen in everything, Salon "writer"?


I am outraged at the insensitivity of that post.  I demand Drew banninate you immediately.

How dare you discriminate against sociopolitical injectors!?!
 
2013-07-18 05:14:44 PM

Silly_Sot: I was wondering who had eaten the very special Little Debbies cake that he had put in the office refrigerator and had been looking forward to snacking on all day long.


The ones he was saving because "I've been really good this week.  i DESERVE them..."?  I ate them.  AND THEY WERE DELICIOUS
 
2013-07-18 05:14:50 PM
img5.imageshack.us

I saw the preview for this movie, and I was like, "Cool! Bob Odenkirk in a horror movie! That will be hilarious!" Then I was like, "No, that's gotta be Will Arnett." Imagine my surprise when it turned out to be a third guy all together.
 
2013-07-18 05:16:15 PM

Smeggy Smurf: OK but is the movie any good?


It has some decent reviews. Apparently if you like old school, non-torture porn horror it should be worth a watch.
 
2013-07-18 05:16:43 PM
Can't we just a farking movie without some left-wing or right-wing asshole calling it right-wing or left-wing.
 
2013-07-18 05:17:01 PM

Smeggy Smurf: OK but is the movie any good?


getting excellent reviews- 82% on the tomato meter and they are usually much harsher on genre flicks
 
2013-07-18 05:17:17 PM

phedex: Klom Dark: Welcome to out sanguinary sect of worship.
Feel at home in our black conventicle,
As we anathematise
All of those who oppose us.
Don't summon the devil,
Don't call the priests,
If you need the strength
The conjuring. Obey!!!
Behold the flames rise
From the compass' cardinal points.
Burn the sacred oil,
And, with the ashes you'll annoint.
Arrange the symbols,
Of the wizard, and, magician.
Light the candles,
Place the parchment paper in position.
Between it's leaves place
The lash from a black cat's eye,
A straw of a broom,
Fold, and, burn, and, centralise.
Don't summon the devil,
Don't call the priests,
If you need the strength,
The conjuring.
I am the devil's advocate,
A salesman, if you will
You know my name. [You know my name]
I met your father years ago,
Gave him what he'd please.
He called my name, you'll do the same.
I'm claiming what is mine by right,
It's time to close the deal.
You're bought and sold, bought and sold.
Come join me in my infernal depths,
Mephisto's hall of fame.
I've got your soul, I've got your soul.
The conjuring. Obey!!!

Damn you beat me to it. One of my all time favorites.  *fist bump


Sorry man :)
 
2013-07-18 05:17:50 PM

vernonFL: Nabb1: his vagina

A man wrote that? Oh Jesus its worse than I thought.


FTFA: "As a ninth-generation descendant of Abigail Faulkner . .  ."  Anybody who talks about "relatives" more than four generations removed is usually from New England and very often owns a navy blazer with a coat of arms on it.  They are also likely to be a twat.
 
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