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(Huffington Post)   A parenting trend most of Fark can get behind   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 145
    More: Amusing, CTFD, attachment parenting  
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13429 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jul 2013 at 12:28 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-07-18 11:58:08 AM
If you allow your kids to cruise TFD threads I would seriously have to question your parenting style.
 
2013-07-18 12:02:50 PM
Ok, I can live with that.

/2 kids
 
2013-07-18 12:03:57 PM

Diogenes: If you allow your kids to cruise TFD threads I would seriously have to question your parenting style.


My kids submit most of the stuff in TFD, which explains a lot.
 
2013-07-18 12:11:13 PM
Actually, if your child is acting up in public, then there *is* a second step after Calm the fark Down.
 
2013-07-18 12:28:38 PM
fark you
 
2013-07-18 12:28:39 PM
If some folks were any calmer about their parenting they'd slip into a coma.
 
2013-07-18 12:29:53 PM
Abortion?
 
2013-07-18 12:30:33 PM
If only there was some kind of medication that could help with that...
 
2013-07-18 12:31:01 PM

The My Little Pony Killer: Actually, if your child is acting up in public, then there *is* a second step after Calm the fark Down.


And a third, and a fourth, etc.
 
2013-07-18 12:31:46 PM
No, I prefer the parenting method of "Control Your Farking Kid". I see families on the MBTA where the parents let their kids run crazy and go kicking around so they hit you in the leg and whatnot. I try to avoid being near families on the T.

And for heaven's sake, stop buying those baby strollers that are the size of a SUV.
 
2013-07-18 12:32:01 PM
I predict well reasoned, rational discussion in this thread.
 
2013-07-18 12:32:54 PM
Righteous belt-whuppuns? Because that's a trend I could get behind.

25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-07-18 12:33:44 PM
CTFD followed by telling your kid to STFU.

All you need to know about taking your kid in public.
 
2013-07-18 12:34:53 PM

markfara: The My Little Pony Killer: Actually, if your child is acting up in public, then there *is* a second step after Calm the fark Down.

And a third, and a fourth, etc.


Right out to the car.

It only has to be done once really.  Just follow through, and they (generally) stop.

//All bets are off if the kid is tired or hungry.  In that case, get them home as quickly as possible.
 
2013-07-18 12:35:20 PM

Krieghund: If only there was some kind of medication that could help with that...


1000mg of Whupass will cure a kid of misbehaving
35mg of Wudshed will also work
10,000mg of NotBeingAPussyParent in case either of those don't work
 
2013-07-18 12:35:47 PM

Satan's Bunny Slippers: I predict well reasoned, rational discussion in this thread.


Good luck with THAT!
 
2013-07-18 12:36:40 PM
I predict this will end in disaster.

rlv.zcache.com
 
2013-07-18 12:38:06 PM
I expected the BLSOLB method, Beat the Living Sh*t Outta the Little Bastard.
 
2013-07-18 12:38:23 PM

meat0918: //All bets are off if the kid is tired or hungry. In that case, get them home as quickly as possible.


Which astounds me when I see toddlers at the store at 10 at night, screaming throwing a fit and the parent(s) are yelling or hitting them to stop.

Hey jackass, get your crotch fruit to bed you ass wagon!
 
2013-07-18 12:38:36 PM
Spank them when necessary
Hug them in between spankings
kiss them in between hugs
tell them how proud you are of them
don't hit their mom
don't cheat on their mom
tell them the family is a team and fark everyone else
calm the fark down indeed
 
2013-07-18 12:38:45 PM

Krieghund: If only there was some kind of medication that could help with that...


farm4.staticflickr.com
 
2013-07-18 12:38:52 PM
I look forward to a lengthy, rancorous discussion filled with snotty comments about helicopter parents, snowflakes, crotch droppings, breast feeding, etc.

/my first green, if I'm not mistaken
//Thanks, Fark, and Huffington Post
 
2013-07-18 12:39:21 PM

Agnes Gonxha's Confidant: Spank them when necessary


No.
 
2013-07-18 12:39:40 PM
I still remember putting our (at the time) 2 year old daughter on time-out at the San Diego County Fair once.  She was pitching a fit, so we sat her down between some bales of hay and made her sit alone for 2 minutes...wouldn't start the timer until she stopped crying either.  We were standing about 10 feet away watching.

The looks of horror on peoples' faces were hilarious.  Like, "How dare you discipline your child for acting like an ass!"  Yeah...we discipline our kids where and when they need it.  Doesn't matter if it's the zoo, the fair, or school.
 
2013-07-18 12:40:11 PM
As an expecting parent of our first child I'm going to go with the Native American approach and not going to encourage the baby to cry (by not responding to the crying).  First time it starts crying it's going to be hung up on a tree out back for 30 minutes (obviously exaggerating, but I will do my best not to respond to crying, as to not encourage it).

Will pay plenty of attention to the child, but will not be a helicopter parent.  I will teach them to be aware of their surroundings and will not be driving them everywhere.  They can walk to the bus stop and home without my supervision.  If we live close enough to the school, they can walk to the school and back without needing me to supervise or give them a ride to/from school.

I will not overfeed my child, I will do my best to feed them non-processed foods.  I will encourage them to be active physically as well as mentally.  I will not indoctrinate them with religion, I will allow them to be a child.
 
2013-07-18 12:40:13 PM

Smelly Pirate Hooker: I look forward to a lengthy, rancorous discussion filled with snotty comments about helicopter parents, snowflakes, crotch droppings, breast feeding, etc.

/my first green, if I'm not mistaken
//Thanks, Fark, and Huffington Post


It is your fourth green light it says so on your profile. Maybe you are a little too calm.
 
2013-07-18 12:41:48 PM
Made the decision not to have any kids so you can do whatever you want in your life? Calm the f*ck down.

...

Oh wait. I'm already calm.
 
2013-07-18 12:41:57 PM

markfara: The My Little Pony Killer: Actually, if your child is acting up in public, then there *is* a second step after Calm the fark Down.

And a third, and a fourth, etc.


What do you tell a kid with two black eyes?

Nothing they've already been told twice.
 
2013-07-18 12:42:27 PM
Can I still bang the nanny?
 
2013-07-18 12:42:36 PM
I tried to parent by this method bringing my kids up. Seemed to work. They are now happy, healthy adults for the most part. I think they still like me. Or at the least, they tolerate me.
 
2013-07-18 12:42:37 PM
Oh and I will set clear rules and boundaries, and will inform my child on the consequences of their actions if they refuse to heed what I'm saying.  I will follow-through with those consequences if they do not adhere to what I'm saying.

I won't be the parent in the movie theater who kindly asks their 7-10 year old child to "please quiet down" 20 times, and on the 21st time I won't say "you need to stop talking or we will leave" another 20 times before giving up.
 
2013-07-18 12:43:42 PM

gopher321: Made the decision not to have any kids so you can do whatever you want in your life? Calm the f*ck down.

...

Oh wait. I'm already calm.


Keep telling yourself it was a voluntary decision, you need a willing sexual partner to get a woman pregnant.
 
2013-07-18 12:43:48 PM
I recommend the university of Minnesota's spankalogical institute for a few months.

/Worked for that little fu*kr Ned Flanders
//Damn that kid was annoying!
 
2013-07-18 12:43:53 PM
After my friend's husband left her when she was 7 1/2 months pregnant, her two sisters and mother stepped in and helped out. Her poor son is a mess. He comes from a dysfunctional family of women, who always did have their hearts in the right place. I shudder when I see him (he's 4). Maybe he'll grow out of the maniac he has become.

/CSS
 
2013-07-18 12:45:13 PM

Rev.K: Ok, I can live with that.

/2 kids


Yeah, seems pretty easy
 
2013-07-18 12:45:19 PM

Smelly Pirate Hooker: I look forward to a lengthy, rancorous discussion filled with snotty comments about helicopter parents, snowflakes, crotch droppings, breast feeding, etc.

/my first green, if I'm not mistaken
//Thanks, Fark, and Huffington Post


Login:Smelly Pirate Hooker (Want to http://www.fark.com/totalfarksignup?SponsorLogin=Smelly%20Pirate%20Hoo ker">sponsor this Farker for TotalFark?) (What's Fark account number:609171Account created:2010-11-07 23:26:12Submitted links approved:4
 
2013-07-18 12:45:40 PM
My 3 year old son is running around here naked, covered in dirt, holding a plastic shovel and fighting an invisible monster (to me at least).

/he is awesome
 
2013-07-18 12:46:01 PM
image.spreadshirt.com
 
2013-07-18 12:46:37 PM
CrazyCracka420:
They can walk to the bus stop and home without my supervision.  If we live close enough to the school, they can walk to the school and back without needing me to supervise or give them a ride to/from school.


Wait, wait wait! Are you aware of how many kids get kidnapped every year? There are child predators in every neighborhood. Just get on the internet and you will see how crazy this world is.

This never happened in 1990. It's as if the internet made people go crazy and kill and rape people.
 
2013-07-18 12:46:58 PM
Daddy drinks because baby cries.
 
2013-07-18 12:47:18 PM

Grumpy Cat: After my friend's husband left her when she was 7 1/2 months pregnant,


Damn, dats farked up.

At least get the kid to walking age before jumping the fence for the border
 
2013-07-18 12:47:37 PM

CrazyCracka420: gopher321: Made the decision not to have any kids so you can do whatever you want in your life? Calm the f*ck down.

...

Oh wait. I'm already calm.

Keep telling yourself it was a voluntary decision, you need a willing sexual partner to get a woman pregnant.


a.abcnews.com

"No you don't."
 
2013-07-18 12:47:44 PM

CrazyCracka420: As an expecting parent of our first child I'm going to go with the Native American approach and not going to encourage the baby to cry (by not responding to the crying).  First time it starts crying it's going to be hung up on a tree out back for 30 minutes (obviously exaggerating, but I will do my best not to respond to crying, as to not encourage it).

Will pay plenty of attention to the child, but will not be a helicopter parent.  I will teach them to be aware of their surroundings and will not be driving them everywhere.  They can walk to the bus stop and home without my supervision.  If we live close enough to the school, they can walk to the school and back without needing me to supervise or give them a ride to/from school.

I will not overfeed my child, I will do my best to feed them non-processed foods.  I will encourage them to be active physically as well as mentally.  I will not indoctrinate them with religion, I will allow them to be a child.


Good luck with that.  I thought the same thing.  Babies cry because they want to be fed, or changed, or they're cold or too hot.

Ignoring it doesn't really work until they reach the age they start using crying to consciously manipulate you, but by then you can tell the difference between a fake cry and a real one.
 
2013-07-18 12:47:56 PM

neongoats: CTFD followed by telling your kid to STFU.

All you need to know about taking your kid in public.


This. Also, mastering the whispered "WAIT UNTIL WE GET TO THE CAR." is a brown belt level qualifier. Being able to cut your eyes at your kid and have them STFU gets the black belt.

My kid is a good kid. People remark on how grown up he is, and how polite he is in social situations. He still acts like a kid, and he's funny and charming, but he knows not to act like an asshat or there will be consequences. I figure I'm doing ok.
 
2013-07-18 12:49:09 PM
Typical loving family...

img9.imageshack.us
 
2013-07-18 12:49:17 PM

meat0918: Just follow through, and they (generally) stop.


That's the key that so many parents fail to understand. There have to be consequences, not just vague threats.

If you're the kind of parent I see in the grocery store who is saying, "Now Eric, stop hitting your sister no Eric, don't do that put that back Eric, you can't have that Eric, I told you not do that Eric, stop annoying the lady Eric, Eric quit it, I said no, Eric Eric come over here right now, what did I tell you Eric quit running Eric Eric stop no Eric don'tdothatEricEricstopbehavingthatwaynoEricquititEricEricEricEricEric EricEricEricEric..." then you have failed as a parent.
 
2013-07-18 12:51:35 PM

cowgirl toffee: Typical loving family...

[img9.imageshack.us image 602x440]


I have the weirdest boner right now
 
2013-07-18 12:52:02 PM

Agnes Gonxha's Confidant: Spank them when necessary


In seven years across two of them, it's never been necessary. Psychological warfare is much more effective since, you know, you're supposed to be smarter than they are. if they're too young to be mentally manipulated, they're too young for spanking. Thus, no.
 
2013-07-18 12:54:23 PM

Prank Call of Cthulhu: meat0918: Just follow through, and they (generally) stop.

That's the key that so many parents fail to understand. There have to be consequences, not just vague threats.

If you're the kind of parent I see in the grocery store who is saying, "Now Eric, stop hitting your sister no Eric, don't do that put that back Eric, you can't have that Eric, I told you not do that Eric, stop annoying the lady Eric, Eric quit it, I said no, Eric Eric come over here right now, what did I tell you Eric quit running Eric Eric stop no Eric don'tdothatEricEricstopbehavingthatwaynoEricquititEricEricEricEricEric EricEricEricEric..." then you have failed as a parent.


I've left a shopping cart of stuff in the aisle (I apologized to the nearest employee), and took the kids home.  The deal was, they behave while I need to get stuff at the hardware store, and then I would take them to the toy store so they could spend some birthday money they had been saving.  They didn't behave, so home we went.

I generally only have to remind them of that incident if they start acting up.

The real key that everyone (myself sometimes included) is "Behavior rewarded is behavior repeated".
 
2013-07-18 12:54:30 PM

CrazyCracka420: gopher321: Made the decision not to have any kids so you can do whatever you want in your life? Calm the f*ck down.

...

Oh wait. I'm already calm.

Keep telling yourself it was a voluntary decision, you need a willing sexual partner to get a woman pregnant.


You do know that women don't actually have the ability to shut the whole thing down and that men can get unwanted erections, don't you?
 
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