If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(The Gist)   Maximum trolling   (thegist.com) divider line 54
    More: Amusing  
•       •       •

16711 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jul 2013 at 12:44 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-07-18 12:48:30 PM  
5 votes:
Normally I'd say this is asinine, juvenile and disrespectful. In this case, come on he's practically BEGGING for this sort of thing.

Also, I don't know who originally said it, I believe it was a Farker, but Phelps' funeral is going to look like freaking burning man.
2013-07-18 12:46:14 PM  
5 votes:
Phelps is in the closet, no-one makes this much noise about anything without being it.
2013-07-18 12:46:55 PM  
4 votes:
Not sure how to react...  I'm all for gay marriages, but to stoop to Westboro's level of d-baggery... dunno.
2013-07-18 12:46:45 PM  
4 votes:
No, it's not maximum trolling.  WBC still gets the publicity out of it, which is what they want.  This 'Satanic Temple' is being played for fools.
2013-07-18 12:24:32 PM  
4 votes:
I actually LOL'd at the part about Fred Phelp's mom now being gay in the afterlife. Now that's how you do silly.
2013-07-18 01:10:54 PM  
3 votes:
Whenever social conservative Rick Santorum types start whining about persecution and about how the government if about to start rounding up all Christians who speak out against gays, there's really only one retort that you need:

"Fred Phelps is still a free man."
2013-07-18 02:35:57 PM  
2 votes:

Wall_of_Doodoo: I actually LOL'd at the part about Fred Phelp's mom now being gay in the afterlife. Now that's how you do silly.


Pretty sure the Mormons pioneered that move.
2013-07-18 01:31:20 PM  
2 votes:

Lando Lincoln: pedobearapproved: There are no such things as actual satanists.

[upload.wikimedia.org image 220x287]
Say that to my face, punk.


LaVey Satanism isn't really about Satan per se, it's more about saying to hell with organized religion and social conformity. If it pays homage to Satan, it'd be more in line with the Satan from Paradise Lost than Satan "evil dude who wants to eat your soul and such while wearing all red and making those damn yankees lose while we all sacrifice virgins."

It's actually a pretty neat take on religion if you can get past some of the whackadoodles who are involved with it.
2013-07-18 01:26:13 PM  
2 votes:
I am sure this will in no way fuel these folks' persecution complex...
2013-07-18 01:05:20 PM  
2 votes:
img194.imageshack.us
2013-07-18 12:50:03 PM  
2 votes:
This is hilariously awesome.  Bravo Satanists...bravo.

I'll bet even God is sitting back right now chuckling...
2013-07-18 12:37:09 PM  
2 votes:
Nice.
2013-07-18 03:21:32 PM  
1 votes:

Hobodeluxe: yeah stooping to their level doesn't make you look good.


If they were concerned about "looking good", they wouldn't be Satanists. They'd be Scientologists.
2013-07-18 03:13:38 PM  
1 votes:

Sofa King Smart: YoOjo: Phelps is in the closet, no-one makes this much noise about anything without being it.

for example:

: [encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com image 181x278]


All Cathy did was express his personal views to a few two-bit religious blogs. He didn't make a lot of noise about it. He also donated money to groups that he felt was in line with his beliefs, that's not making a lot of noise.

Who actually made a lot of noise about it were groups trying to tell people how to think, and it backfired miserably. Chik-Fil-A pretty much sold out their stock, even with extra trucks coming in, drive through lines were wrapped around the block, and people happily waited for 2+hours to show their support, not for Cathy's personal viewpoints, but for his right to say what he believes.

I was one of those people, I'm a stone-cold atheist, and an advocate of gay rights...but I'm farking sick and tired of people telling other people what to believe, and what they should say and not say.
2013-07-18 03:00:51 PM  
1 votes:

Random Anonymous Blackmail: So where does the horned head gear come in ... maybe I don't need to know.


images2.wikia.nocookie.net

Well not just *anyone* can pronounce a couple married. You need to be a priest, judge, ship captian or puny god to do that.
2013-07-18 02:59:25 PM  
1 votes:

Leo Bloom's Freakout: jakomo002: I'm sure Satan probably doesn't like the gheys.

Other than the "sin" of sodomy, they're usually super nice people, which probably pisses him off.

Actually, given Satan's M.O. as the great deceiver, it would be fine. We wants damned souls, however it comes about. If you can live a life of appearing to be good and entice others into your ways just to get them to commit that *one* act that condemns them for eternity, perfect. So many depictions of Satan show him as a beast and monster. More likely he would be the most attractive, likable, seducer ever.

To put it another way, he is lawful evil with pure charisma stats. He will use the rules and the system to corrupt and break you so that those same rules make you his.

/Not endorsing the point of view, but clarifying the concept of Satan/Lucifer.


and that has dick-all to do with La Veyan Satanism.  La Veyan Satanism basically says that there ARE no "deities".  We are our OWN gods.  He called it Satanism to be shocking.  It is really just humanism with some dogma attached because as he said, "humans like dogma".
2013-07-18 02:53:37 PM  
1 votes:

scubamage: frepnog: Lando Lincoln: scubamage: It's actually a pretty neat take on religion if you can get past some of the whackadoodles who are involved with it.

I wouldn't go that far. LaVey preached that it was okay to steal from others. I think he was pretty nonchalant about murder as well.

point me in a direction to thefts that La Vey or his church was involved in, or to any suspected Church of Satan murders.

/difficulty - you can't

//you are not accurate.  La Vey didn't "preach".  he held the occasional "black mass" mostly for media attention.  what he espoused was "do not turn the other cheek, give back to others what you receive".  in other words, if someone is an ass to you...  be an ass right back unless it pleases you to not.

Correct. Most of the negative connotations against the church came from the "Satanic Panic" from the 1970's to the 1980's, where the church was accused of hosting tons of criminal activities. These were later dismissed by the feds when they actually investigated them. Stealing goes directly against the Church's teachings.

Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them.When in another's lair, show them respect or else do not go there.If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat them cruelly and without mercy.Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the other person and they cry out to be relieved.Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained.Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.Do not harm little children.Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food.When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask them to stop. If they don't stop ...


kinda funny how if taken by themselves the satanic statements are pretty good advice.
2013-07-18 02:49:54 PM  
1 votes:

scubamage: Sorry about the formatting getting screwed up on that last one, fark decided to ignore the numbered list.


That looks a lot like IRL Sith philosophy. That's kind of fascinating.

/Having a bit of a nerdy summer
//The best kind of summer
2013-07-18 02:48:21 PM  
1 votes:

scubamage: Correct. Most of the negative connotations against the church came from the "Satanic Panic" from the 1970's to the 1980's, where the church was accused of hosting tons of criminal activities. These were later dismissed by the feds when they actually investigated them. Stealing goes directly against the Church's teachings.


On the other hand, Satanists love Ayn Rand's shtick... so that gives one some insight into their level of philosophical maturity.
2013-07-18 02:43:52 PM  
1 votes:

frepnog: Lando Lincoln: scubamage: It's actually a pretty neat take on religion if you can get past some of the whackadoodles who are involved with it.

I wouldn't go that far. LaVey preached that it was okay to steal from others. I think he was pretty nonchalant about murder as well.

point me in a direction to thefts that La Vey or his church was involved in, or to any suspected Church of Satan murders.

/difficulty - you can't

//you are not accurate.  La Vey didn't "preach".  he held the occasional "black mass" mostly for media attention.  what he espoused was "do not turn the other cheek, give back to others what you receive".  in other words, if someone is an ass to you...  be an ass right back unless it pleases you to not.


Correct. Most of the negative connotations against the church came from the "Satanic Panic" from the 1970's to the 1980's, where the church was accused of hosting tons of criminal activities. These were later dismissed by the feds when they actually investigated them. Stealing goes directly against the Church's teachings.

Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them.When in another's lair, show them respect or else do not go there.If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat them cruelly and without mercy.Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the other person and they cry out to be relieved.Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained.Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.Do not harm little children.Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food.When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask them to stop. If they don't stop, destroy them.
2013-07-18 02:43:37 PM  
1 votes:

xanadian: ehh...it's more like "moderate-high trolling."  Still kinda funny.  In a douchebag-y kind of way...  Kind of like when you draw dicks on the face of your passed-out frat bro who had 1 Jaeger-bomb too many.


You can't troll a master troll. He knows all the moves. Fred Phelps isn't bothered by this.

But it was still pretty funny.

[Scene opens in Heaven, an all-white modestly decorated studio apartment]
[Cathy Johnson, Fred Phelp's mom, sits in a chair watching television]
[there is a knock on the door]
[Cathy opens the door, and an angel with a clip board walks in]

Angel: "I'm sorry, Mrs. Johnson, but you are being sent down to Hell now."
Cathy: "What!? But why?"
Angel: "Well, you see...there was a certain Satanic ritual performed over your grave and..."
Cathy: "Satanists?! What kind of ritual?!"
Angel: "Well...have you noticed that you have been sexually attracted to women in the past few hours?"
Cathy: "What?! No!"
Angel: "It might take a few hours for the ritual to take full effect. Regardless...we have a strict policy here in Heaven - NO HOMOSEXUALS. I'm sorry, but the Satanists have turned you gay. There's nothing that we can do."
Cathy: "This is ridiculous! Why on Earth would Satanists..."
Angel: "...yes, I think you know why."
Cathy: "Haven't I suffered in purgatory long enough for my sins of mothering Freddy? And now this?"
Angel: "Yes, we all wish that you had been a better mother. Alas. Anyhow...please pack up your personal belongings. There will be a car to pick you up in a half hour."
2013-07-18 02:42:44 PM  
1 votes:

doubled99: They are professional trolls, in the truest sense of the word. Any lack of success at their lawsuits only speaks to their lack of legal expertise.


Except for that whole Westboro Baptist Church Wins Supreme Court Appeal Over Funeral Protests thing, right?
2013-07-18 02:40:54 PM  
1 votes:

Gaseous Anomaly: Difference between satanist and Satanist? I assume there are other worshipers of Satan than members of the Church Of Satan(tm).


Wiki agrees.
2013-07-18 02:39:45 PM  
1 votes:

frepnog: give those lesbian chicks a couple years.  one will be married to a man, the other will likely be engrossed heavily in Christianity.  the gay dudes will likely just still be gay dudes.


Maybe you should go cure them with your magic penis.
2013-07-18 02:38:59 PM  
1 votes:

Lando Lincoln: scubamage: It's actually a pretty neat take on religion if you can get past some of the whackadoodles who are involved with it.

I wouldn't go that far. LaVey preached that it was okay to steal from others. I think he was pretty nonchalant about murder as well.


point me in a direction to thefts that La Vey or his church was involved in, or to any suspected Church of Satan murders.

/difficulty - you can't

//you are not accurate.  La Vey didn't "preach".  he held the occasional "black mass" mostly for media attention.  what he espoused was "do not turn the other cheek, give back to others what you receive".  in other words, if someone is an ass to you...  be an ass right back unless it pleases you to not.
2013-07-18 02:20:08 PM  
1 votes:

YoOjo: Phelps is in the closet, no-one makes this much noise about anything without being it.


for example:

: encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
2013-07-18 02:02:31 PM  
1 votes:

nekom: Also, I don't know who originally said it, I believe it was a Farker, but Phelps' funeral is going to look like freaking burning man.


Nobody has seen Phred in quite a while... I wonder if he's even still alive.  Wouldn't surprise me to find out that he died a while ago and the family buried him somewhere on their compound.  That's illegal and would be grounds for a search warrant, and then authorities find... who knows what.  A stash of guns, a gay torture/sex dungeon, child porn, Phred's mummified remains posed on an alter in some kind of weird ancestor-worship shrine?  All the above?

Anyway, that's my favorite daydream-de-jour.
2013-07-18 01:56:29 PM  
1 votes:
2013-07-18 01:53:04 PM  
1 votes:
Sorry, but THIS is maximum trolling.

/ Context.
2013-07-18 01:52:31 PM  
1 votes:

scubamage: YoOjo: Phelps is in the closet, no-one makes this much noise about anything without being it.

I wish it was that case. He's a civil lawyer by trade. His whole business is to get people so pissed they punch him, or that he gets carted off by police, and then he sues the bejeesus out of them.

Ain't 'Murika grand?


No it's not.  Do not degrade the kind of douche bag that Phelps and his ilk are.  They are NOT making money off this "thing" of theirs.  They really believe it.  That's worse than doing it for money.  They really hate people.  So, please don't go around mitigating the degree of douche baggedness that they are.  Your statement is untrue and releases them from the real immorality of their hate and hypocrisy.
2013-07-18 01:43:20 PM  
1 votes:

Mikey1969: Z-clipped: Hobodeluxe: yeah stooping to their level doesn't make you look good.

They're Satanists.  I don't think "looking good" is high on their list of priorities. I mean, haven't these guys pretty much been trolling christians since the the Enlightenment?

No, really just 1966... Anton LaVey really just made the whole "satanist" thing up...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anton_LaVey#Beginnings_as_a_Satanist


All religions are just "made up".
2013-07-18 01:42:52 PM  
1 votes:
I submitted this yesterday with headline 2 words longer. Damn you subs. :p
2013-07-18 01:42:08 PM  
1 votes:

Fano: The first Satanists were described in Song of Roland.


I had to read that, over twenty years ago, in college. As I recall now, it's what you'd get if you turned the movie "300" into an epic poem: something short on plot and character development, but long on violent confrontation. It must have been the Medieval version of an action movie. Just stanza after stanza of characters getting "cleaved through the head down to the hauberk" and descriptions of the two halves of their heads just being held together by little strings of muscle until they both plopped down to the ground. It read like a snuff film. I'm sure I'm misremembering it, but all I recall was just gore-splattering death after gore-splattering death. Why this hasn't been made into a movie, I have no idea.
hej [TotalFark]
2013-07-18 01:37:26 PM  
1 votes:

oh_please: All these people are doing is lowering themselves to the WBC's level, that's just wrong.


Actually, they're also entertaining me.
2013-07-18 01:30:01 PM  
1 votes:

Mikey1969: No, really just 1966... Anton LaVey really just made the whole "satanist" thing up...


La Vey Satanists are atheists.  I think this is a different sort.

Also, the church made up Satanism LONG before that.

rationalwiki.org
2013-07-18 01:28:50 PM  
1 votes:
1) WBC already gets a crap-ton of PR, this little stunt won't add any significant PR to that hill that they've accrued.

2) Satanists, trolling fundamentalist Christians since the Dark Ages.

3) If all this accomplished was a momentary, split second, spat of rage in that gnarly old black thing that Phelps calls a heart, then it was worth every penny that it cost to see it done.

4) I would like to see this repeated with most of his dead relatives, followed up by lots of picket signs at their protests saying "Phelps' mom is gay and in hell thanks to us.  Hail Satan!"
2013-07-18 01:26:48 PM  
1 votes:
there are more "satanists" out there than you think, but the vast majority do not meet in any official capacity, do not have organized gatherings, and do not tell anyone.  Most "satanists" simply appear to be religion free and most "satanists" are not going to attention whore about BEING a "satanist".

/give those lesbian chicks a couple years.  one will be married to a man, the other will likely be engrossed heavily in Christianity.  the gay dudes will likely just still be gay dudes.
2013-07-18 01:20:36 PM  
1 votes:
Hobodeluxe: yeah stooping to their level doesn't make you look good.

They're Satanists.  I don't think "looking good" is high on their list of priorities. I mean, haven't these guys pretty much been trolling christians since the the Enlightenment?

No, really just 1966... Anton LaVey really just made the whole "satanist" thing up...


Are you implying made up bullshiat counts against the legitimacy of a religion?
2013-07-18 01:20:18 PM  
1 votes:

pedobearapproved: There are no such things as actual satanists.


I hear there's no true Scotsmen either.
2013-07-18 01:18:31 PM  
1 votes:

pedobearapproved: Z-clipped: Hobodeluxe: yeah stooping to their level doesn't make you look good.

They're Satanists.  I don't think "looking good" is high on their list of priorities. I mean, haven't these guys pretty much been trolling christians since the the Enlightenment?

There are no such things as actual satanists. It's just a name people throw out to try and get attention.


I'm pretty sure there are, but the vast majority of them are the rebelling 14-year-old children of Southern Baptist ministers.
2013-07-18 01:18:25 PM  
1 votes:

Z-clipped: Hobodeluxe: yeah stooping to their level doesn't make you look good.

They're Satanists.  I don't think "looking good" is high on their list of priorities. I mean, haven't these guys pretty much been trolling christians since the the Enlightenment?


No, really just 1966... Anton LaVey really just made the whole "satanist" thing up...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anton_LaVey#Beginnings_as_a_Satanist
2013-07-18 01:14:07 PM  
1 votes:

Z-clipped: Hobodeluxe: yeah stooping to their level doesn't make you look good.

They're Satanists.  I don't think "looking good" is high on their list of priorities. I mean, haven't these guys pretty much been trolling christians since the the Enlightenment?


There are no such things as actual satanists. It's just a name people throw out to try and get attention.
2013-07-18 01:07:03 PM  
1 votes:

mainstreet62: Wow......

Sure, WBC's actions are abhorrent to the extreme, but to do that on Phelps mom's grave is flat out nasty. I'm not saying the WBC never did anything nasty, they absolutely did.

It's a shot across the WBC's bow, for sure. I wonder how they will respond?


She's dead and has been dead a very long time, WTF does she care. Maybe Fred will experience for one second something like what he does the families that are just dealing with their 20-something year old son dying before his time.

/and yes thread trolls, I know she died before her time, but he's had something like 60 years to deal with that.
2013-07-18 01:03:52 PM  
1 votes:
I can only hope WBC fades into obscurity after Phelp's death.

But amusing, really? Who -cares- how they will respond. Stop giving these bigots the attention they crave.
2013-07-18 01:02:42 PM  
1 votes:

BishopHatto: Freddy doesn't love his mother.


Especially not now that she's one of them there lesbymens.

img.gawkerassets.com

"Now kiss!"
2013-07-18 01:00:59 PM  
1 votes:
Am I the only one who didn't bother to RTFA?

img.gawkerassets.com

I'd put a stiff in THEIR coffins.
2013-07-18 12:55:19 PM  
1 votes:
Come on Satanists...I expected so much better from them.

In other news...did anyone else want to stick their dick inbetween the lesbianists kissing?
2013-07-18 12:53:16 PM  
1 votes:

scubamage: YoOjo: Phelps is in the closet, no-one makes this much noise about anything without being it.

I wish it was that case. He's a civil lawyer by trade. His whole business is to get people so pissed they punch him, or that he gets carted off by police, and then he sues the bejeesus out of them.

Ain't 'Murika grand?


Exactly, they are a "religion" in the same sense that Tony Soprano is a "businessman."
2013-07-18 12:52:20 PM  
1 votes:
Wow......

Sure, WBC's actions are abhorrent to the extreme, but to do that on Phelps mom's grave is flat out nasty. I'm not saying the WBC never did anything nasty, they absolutely did.

It's a shot across the WBC's bow, for sure. I wonder how they will respond?
2013-07-18 12:51:33 PM  
1 votes:
24.media.tumblr.com
2013-07-18 12:48:41 PM  
1 votes:

YoOjo: Phelps is in the closet, no-one makes this much noise about anything without being it.


So fark is really Objectivist?

This is funny but not a good enough reason to go to Missssissssipppppi.
2013-07-18 12:48:11 PM  
1 votes:
Wow. I... okay.

The, uh... yeah. It's...

/...
2013-07-18 12:47:01 PM  
1 votes:
So where does the horned head gear come in ... maybe I don't need to know.
2013-07-18 12:14:20 PM  
1 votes:
Well South Park already proved Satan was gay and now we also know he uses it for good!

/thank God for Satan?
 
Displayed 54 of 54 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report