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(AZ Family)   A man is found dead in the desert. He is wearing a backpack containing two reptiles. There are no other footprints near the body. How did he die?   (azfamily.com) divider line 140
    More: Dumbass, Daniel Genaro, Fish Department, Cochise County Sheriff's Office  
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18865 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jul 2013 at 3:46 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



140 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-07-17 09:07:24 PM  
www.newgameplusplus.net
 
2013-07-17 09:15:47 PM  
scrapetv.com
 
2013-07-17 09:15:50 PM  
He died of Arizona in July.

In other news, we have a state reptile?
 
2013-07-17 09:16:29 PM  
Was Jane naked?
 
2013-07-17 09:28:35 PM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: In other news, we have a state reptile?


Should be the Gila monster.
 
2013-07-17 09:37:05 PM  
Reptile Dysfunction....it's a killer.
 
2013-07-17 09:41:50 PM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: He died of Arizona


i.imgur.com
 
2013-07-17 09:51:55 PM  
Is one of them Voight-Kampf questions?
 
2013-07-17 10:22:04 PM  

Shostie: Is one of them Voight-Kampf questions?


You're not helping. Why is that?
 
2013-07-17 10:42:52 PM  

violentsalvation: ecmoRandomNumbers: In other news, we have a state reptile?

Should be the Gila monster.


I know, right? And the state bird should be a rabid bat. All of our state symbols should be able to kill you.
 
2013-07-17 11:08:50 PM  
Well you know what they say: a snake in the pack is worth two in the desert, or something like that
 
2013-07-17 11:52:19 PM  
Given Fark traffic this week, I'm going with George Zimmerman or a concussion caused by that power plant blowing up, which has only been greenlit 17 times in the past week.
 
2013-07-17 11:54:07 PM  
Go on and save yourself
And take it out on me
Go on and save yourself
And take it out on me, yeah

I'm not a martyr
I'm not a prophet
And I won't preach to you
But here's a caution
You better understand
That I won't hold your hand
But if it helps you mend
Then I won't stop it
 
2013-07-17 11:56:56 PM  

Lsherm: Given Fark traffic this week, I'm going with George Zimmerman or a concussion caused by that power plant blowing up, which has only been greenlit 17 times in the past week.


Sandsharknado
 
2013-07-18 12:55:13 AM  
He stopped breathing
 
2013-07-18 12:58:01 AM  
Arizona desert in July.  I'm guessing he was poached.
 
2013-07-18 01:05:39 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: He stopped breathing


Heart failure.
 
2013-07-18 01:24:09 AM  

Boojum2k: MaudlinMutantMollusk: He stopped breathing

Heart failure.


That, too
 
2013-07-18 02:03:47 AM  
Heart attack? Cancers? Sudden death syndrome? Leukemia? Malaria? Typhoid?   Tuberculosis? Diarrheal Diseases? Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease?  AIDS? Cerebrovascular Disease?  Ebola? Polio?  I don't, subby. What are you getting at?
 
2013-07-18 02:07:38 AM  

colinspooky: Heart attack? Cancers? Sudden death syndrome? Leukemia? Malaria? Typhoid?   Tuberculosis? Diarrheal Diseases? Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease?  AIDS? Cerebrovascular Disease?  Ebola? Polio?


Lupus
 
2013-07-18 02:10:49 AM  

phlegmmo: colinspooky: Heart attack? Cancers? Sudden death syndrome? Leukemia? Malaria? Typhoid?   Tuberculosis? Diarrheal Diseases? Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease?  AIDS? Cerebrovascular Disease?  Ebola? Polio?

Lupus


It's never lupus.
 
2013-07-18 02:40:32 AM  
I'll go with exposure, hypothermia or dehydration related causes

/dnrtfa
 
2013-07-18 02:45:05 AM  
Can't think about spending time in the desert without this song coming to mind- seems apropos

Miles from nowhere
I guess I'll take my time
Oh yeah, to reach there
Look up at the mountain
I have to climb
Oh yeah, to reach there.

Lord my body has been a good friend
But I won't need it when I reach the end

Miles from nowhere
Guess I'll take my time
Oh yeah, to reach there
I creep through the valleys
And I grope through the woods
'cause I know when I find it my honey
It's gonna make me feel good
I love everything
So don't it make you feel sad
'cause I'll drink to you, my baby
I'll think to that, I'll think to that.

Miles from nowhere
Not a soul in sight
Oh yeah, but it's alright
I have my freedom
I can make my own rules
Oh yeah, the ones that I choose

Lord my body has been a good friend
But I won't need it when I reach the end

Miles from nowhere
I Guess I'll take my time
Oh yeah, to reach there.

/cat stevens goodness
 
2013-07-18 02:53:29 AM  

Bung_Howdy: /cat stevens goodness


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rU-KVObNEd4

Also a good choice for thinking of the desert.
 
2013-07-18 03:02:20 AM  

Boojum2k: Bung_Howdy: /cat stevens goodness

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rU-KVObNEd4

Also a good choice for thinking of the desert.


agreed
 
2013-07-18 03:23:05 AM  

phlegmmo: colinspooky: Heart attack? Cancers? Sudden death syndrome? Leukemia? Malaria? Typhoid?   Tuberculosis? Diarrheal Diseases? Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease?  AIDS? Cerebrovascular Disease?  Ebola? Polio?

Lupus


Boogie fever.
 
2013-07-18 03:26:07 AM  
Another appropriate song for the desert: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amDo-KqUjpA
 
2013-07-18 03:48:14 AM  
Hypothermia. Also, he drowned.
 
2013-07-18 03:50:22 AM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: He died of Arizona in July.


That was my first guess too.

A state reptile?  Hell, we have a state rock where I live.  Our legislature apparently doesn't have anything better to do.
 
2013-07-18 03:50:30 AM  
He probably died before being pushed through the Stargate
 
2013-07-18 03:50:49 AM  
Ninjas got him.
 
2013-07-18 03:53:16 AM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: He died of Arizona in July.


Cause of death: Being Outside in July

In other news, we have a state reptile?

www.bloomberg.com
 
2013-07-18 03:54:16 AM  
Probably because he never named the horse.

Really, who goes through the entire desert without ever naming the horse?
 
2013-07-18 03:56:50 AM  

gwenners: Probably because he never named the horse.

Really, who goes through the entire desert without ever naming the horse?


Probably someone who feels good to be out of the rain.
 
2013-07-18 03:57:27 AM  
www.esperino.com
 
2013-07-18 03:58:07 AM  

gfid: gwenners: Probably because he never named the horse.

Really, who goes through the entire desert without ever naming the horse?

Probably someone who feels good to be out of the rain.


Plus in the desert you can't even remember *your* name
 
2013-07-18 03:58:54 AM  

rikdanger: phlegmmo: colinspooky: Heart attack? Cancers? Sudden death syndrome? Leukemia? Malaria? Typhoid?   Tuberculosis? Diarrheal Diseases? Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease?  AIDS? Cerebrovascular Disease?  Ebola? Polio?

Lupus

Boogie fever.


Rockin' Pnumonia?
 
2013-07-18 03:59:11 AM  
everybody posting song lyrics ..

All I wanna do is have some fun
I got a feeling I'm not the only one
All I wanna do is have some fun
I got a feeling I'm not the only one
All I wanna do is have some fun
Until the sun comes up over
Santa Monica Boulevard

so anyways ...enough about that  story.
 
2013-07-18 04:04:03 AM  
He fell out of the ISS, where he was doing zero-gee experiments on reptiles.
 
2013-07-18 04:05:05 AM  

colinspooky: Heart attack? Cancers? Sudden death syndrome? Leukemia? Malaria? Typhoid?   Tuberculosis? Diarrheal Diseases? Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease?  AIDS? Cerebrovascular Disease?  Ebola? Polio?  I don't, subby. What are you getting at?


White people
 
2013-07-18 04:05:44 AM  
Drone strike? And the rattlers are a coverup?
 
2013-07-18 04:08:14 AM  
He was pushed out of a subway.
 
2013-07-18 04:09:15 AM  
Seen fleeing from the scene:
lh3.ggpht.com
 
2013-07-18 04:11:24 AM  
An 800lb snowman fell on him?
 
2013-07-18 04:11:26 AM  
Insufficient urine intake.
 
2013-07-18 04:13:14 AM  
i2.photobucket.com

Was there a tortoise?
 
2013-07-18 04:14:52 AM  
He had severe Von Recklinghausen's Neurofibromatosis. One of the internal fibroids which, over the years, had attached to his proximal aorta finally caused a weakening of the vascular wall leading to an inevitable dissecting aortic aneurysm. The pain was too much, it was as if an invisible railroad spike was stabbing him through his chest and out of his back. He thought about some reptiles. He thought about his pregnant daughter living in St. Croix. He thought he heard his wife's voice calling to him .. his wife who had died so long ago. He looked up and she was standing in front of him .. telling him, "It's not your time, yet. You have much to do here." The pain seemed to abate somewhat, and as he struggled to his feet she whispered to him, "I'm just screwing with you." The aneurysm erupted into and throughout his mediastinum. He felt like a hand grenade had gone off inside of him. His body fell limp onto the earth. He was, as they say in Texas, D.R.T.

Dead Right There.
 
2013-07-18 04:19:30 AM  
vampire bites look similar to rattlers. do not be fooled!
 
2013-07-18 04:26:58 AM  
I think it was Airbus. They have a reputation built on the pre-meditated killing of passengers.
 
2013-07-18 04:27:48 AM  
I'm gonna go with death caused by being a dumbass.
 
2013-07-18 04:29:44 AM  

you are a puppet: gfid: gwenners: Probably because he never named the horse.

Really, who goes through the entire desert without ever naming the horse?

Probably someone who feels good to be out of the rain.

Plus in the desert you can't even remember *your* name


But there ain't no one for to give you no pain!
 
2013-07-18 04:36:38 AM  

Cyno01: [i2.photobucket.com image 800x323]

Was there a tortoise?


You've never tasted the glacial tang of dexobrimadine. You've never felt the affection of a thousand rigid bristles.
 
2013-07-18 04:38:36 AM  
"Arizona Game and Fish Department spokesman Mark Hart says trade in the snakes is illegal but that there is some poaching."

It's illegal to kill a rattlesnake in AZ? Are you farking kidding me? Here in TX that's a year round sport. We even make an event out of it and have Rattlesnake Roundupswith rides for the kids, cook-offs, snake skin souvenirs and all the snake jerky you can eat.
 
2013-07-18 04:54:49 AM  

ReapTheChaos: "Arizona Game and Fish Department spokesman Mark Hart says trade in the snakes is illegal but that there is some poaching."

It's illegal to kill a rattlesnake in AZ? Are you farking kidding me? Here in TX that's a year round sport. We even make an event out of it and have Rattlesnake Roundupswith rides for the kids, cook-offs, snake skin souvenirs and all the snake jerky you can eat.


Whatever else people say about Texas, I think we can all agree you're smarter than Arizona. Arizona is like Desert Mississippi.
 
2013-07-18 04:55:44 AM  

ReapTheChaos: "Arizona Game and Fish Department spokesman Mark Hart says trade in the snakes is illegal but that there is some poaching."

It's illegal to kill a rattlesnake in AZ? Are you farking kidding me? Here in TX that's a year round sport. We even make an event out of it and have Rattlesnake Roundupswith rides for the kids, cook-offs, snake skin souvenirs and all the snake jerky you can eat.


You live in a place that has made Whacking Day a reality?
 
2013-07-18 04:59:17 AM  

Cyno01: [i2.photobucket.com image 800x323]

Was there a tortoise?


What's that?
 
2013-07-18 05:00:52 AM  
paging Jonathan Creek
 
2013-07-18 05:06:13 AM  

ReapTheChaos: "Arizona Game and Fish Department spokesman Mark Hart says trade in the snakes is illegal but that there is some poaching."

It's illegal to kill a rattlesnake in AZ? Are you farking kidding me? Here in TX that's a year round sport. We even make an event out of it and have Rattlesnake Roundupswith rides for the kids, cook-offs, snake skin souvenirs and all the snake jerky you can eat.


A few years ago in Colorado some kid got bit by a rattlesnake in his parent's garage.  Aside from being charged an astronomical amount for antivenin criminal charges were filed because his father killed the snake.   I really don't care how protected a species is, if they draw first blood as far as I'm concerned those laws don't apply anymore.  (At least in my mind.  Department of Wildlife may have other notions though)
 
2013-07-18 05:11:09 AM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: All of our state symbols should be able to kill you.


Gonna have to second that for no other reason than cuz
 
2013-07-18 05:13:17 AM  
One set of footprints?
He died somewhere else and Jesus dumped the body there.
Put out an APB for Jesus.
Caution: If you shoot and kill him, hang around the morgue a few days, he tends to wander off.
 
2013-07-18 05:14:59 AM  
/dnrtfa

I'm guessing his backpack wasn't thick enough to stop some kind of snake from biting him. Either that or scorpions got to him.
 
2013-07-18 05:24:04 AM  
As the balloon lost altitude, the men took of their clothes and threw them overboard to decrease the weight of the balloon. The balloon continued to drop so the men drew straws to see who would be forced to jump. The dead man in the desert drew the shortest one (the half toothpick).
 
2013-07-18 05:25:19 AM  
Ah yes, I see the desert hover-pack serial killer is active again.
Only way to avoid the sweet kiss of doom from this ass-clown is to walk backwards towards the sun with ten or twelve of those automatic flying robot defenders spinning around in your personal airspace, helps to have a large bear or two also, and maybe some poisoned slurpees.
 
2013-07-18 05:31:34 AM  

gfid: ReapTheChaos: "Arizona Game and Fish Department spokesman Mark Hart says trade in the snakes is illegal but that there is some poaching."

It's illegal to kill a rattlesnake in AZ? Are you farking kidding me? Here in TX that's a year round sport. We even make an event out of it and have Rattlesnake Roundupswith rides for the kids, cook-offs, snake skin souvenirs and all the snake jerky you can eat.

A few years ago in Colorado some kid got bit by a rattlesnake in his parent's garage.  Aside from being charged an astronomical amount for antivenin criminal charges were filed because his father killed the snake.   I really don't care how protected a species is, if they draw first blood as far as I'm concerned those laws don't apply anymore.  (At least in my mind.  Department of Wildlife may have other notions though)


That father should have remembered to say "It's coming right for us"

up-ship.com
 
2013-07-18 05:40:11 AM  

Boojum2k: Bung_Howdy: /cat stevens goodness

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rU-KVObNEd4

Also a good choice for thinking of the desert.


I want you to know... if we were dying of thirst in the desert... I would let you drink the last drop of my urine.
 
2013-07-18 06:03:00 AM  

gfid: ecmoRandomNumbers: He died of Arizona in July.

That was my first guess too.

A state reptile?  Hell, we have a state rock where I live.  Our legislature apparently doesn't have anything better to do.


So do we. We have a state "leafy green vegetable" too.

\blue granite
\\collard greens
 
2013-07-18 06:07:27 AM  
He died of mob shooting. Like everyone else in the desert.
 
2013-07-18 06:07:47 AM  
How I think he died...

img827.imageshack.us
 
2013-07-18 06:13:42 AM  
Started like this.
www.latenightwithjimmyfallon.com
 
2013-07-18 06:29:09 AM  
Rattlesnakes are protected there? Aren't those farker everywhere?
 
2013-07-18 06:36:29 AM  
He was sky-diving, jumped out of an airplane, but the parachute didn't open because it had rattlesnakes in it. The pack on his back is a rattle-snake infected parachute.
 
2013-07-18 06:44:04 AM  
Well duh, someone replaced his parachute with snakes.
 
2013-07-18 06:46:11 AM  
Naked? HE DIED OF HYPOTHERMIA!!

That's one thing to miss about TF,  the lateral thinking puzzles run by <b>Jen The Librarian</b>.

Sliding Carp: Was Jane naked?


Jane, as always, was an ignorant slut.  You do the math.
 
2013-07-18 07:16:40 AM  

Deep Contact: Started like this.
[www.latenightwithjimmyfallon.com image 595x382]



Nothing to be proud of Russ.......


/50 yards....
 
2013-07-18 07:19:02 AM  

Archie Goodwin: An 800lb snowman fell on him?


wasn't me.
 
2013-07-18 07:20:23 AM  
Farking banana peels.
 
2013-07-18 07:20:37 AM  
Super long range sniper rifle.
 
2013-07-18 07:21:31 AM  
His ammunition ship was torpedoed by a WWII U-boat.  The explosion was so great, that it took this long for his body to fall back to the ground.
 
2013-07-18 07:41:21 AM  
Mr Creek? Paging Mr Jonathan Creek...

i.telegraph.co.uk

// They could probably stay with Maddie. I think she was living in Texas last time they mentioned her.
 
2013-07-18 07:44:31 AM  

Lokasenna: Mr Creek? Paging Mr Jonathan Creek...

[i.telegraph.co.uk image 620x400]

// They could probably stay with Maddie. I think she was living in Texas last time they mentioned her.


i can't believe two of us were sufficiently lame to make that joke
 
2013-07-18 07:45:00 AM  
He jumped out of an airplane with a backpack full of snakes instead of a parachute.
 
2013-07-18 07:49:12 AM  
The Cochise County Sheriff's Office

www.indyweek.com
 
2013-07-18 07:50:53 AM  

RobSeace: The Cochise County Sheriff's Office

[www.indyweek.com image 850x587]


Holy shiat.  I'm listening to that right now.  :O
 
2013-07-18 07:52:45 AM  
He was shot with a McMillan 50 caliber sniper rifle from 2,800 yards away beating the previous record by an impressive distance. Fingerprints proved him to be the second in command of the Arizona Al Qaeda organization.
 
2013-07-18 07:55:12 AM  

OscarTamerz: He was shot with a McMillan 50 caliber sniper rifle from 2,800 yards away beating the previous record by an impressive distance. Fingerprints proved him to be the second in command of the Arizona Al Qaeda organization.


AAQO...
AAQO...
AAQO...
AAQO...
 
2013-07-18 07:56:36 AM  
Drone strike.

No, not a Predator.  A Highlander.  Beat him to death with a set of bagpipes.
 
2013-07-18 07:57:25 AM  
He took Larry Hobson's parking spot.
 
2013-07-18 07:59:59 AM  
Boating accident.  Fell overboard and run over.  The propeller killed him.
 
2013-07-18 08:04:45 AM  
 
2013-07-18 08:07:03 AM  
He died of a self correcting problem.
 
2013-07-18 08:07:18 AM  
Insufficient urine was consumed in the emergency.

/Bear Grylls, paging Bear Grylls.
 
2013-07-18 08:09:54 AM  
He had to go poop and tried to use the komodo.
 
2013-07-18 08:14:56 AM  
He was beaten to death by a nude PETA protester that used a palm frond (that had naturally shedded from a tree, not cruelly harvested) to cover up her footprints as she left the scene.
 
2013-07-18 08:15:48 AM  

you are a puppet: gfid: gwenners: Probably because he never named the horse.

Really, who goes through the entire desert without ever naming the horse?

Probably someone who feels good to be out of the rain.

Plus in the desert you can't even remember *your* name


I thought it was only if you're strange, that no one remembers your name.
 
2013-07-18 08:19:20 AM  
www.vote29.com
/realizes this was supposed to the the Mojave
 
2013-07-18 08:23:38 AM  

Nabb1: Shostie: Is one of them Voight-Kampf questions?

You're not helping. Why is that?


Because he looks like George Zimmerman.

/amidoingitright?
 
2013-07-18 08:30:23 AM  
My guess:
www.feistees.com
 
2013-07-18 08:33:35 AM  
www.hotflick.net

"snakes are deadly"
 
2013-07-18 08:44:00 AM  
Cochise County?  Maybe the Volm got him for being a traitorous skitter-lover.

ext.pimg.tw
 
2013-07-18 08:47:49 AM  
Sand people. They travel single file to hide their numbers.
 
2013-07-18 08:52:20 AM  

GunPlumber: Sand people. They travel single file to hide their numbers.


Can't call 'em Sand People anymore.  Too racist.  You're supposed to call 'em "Tusken-Americans" now.
 
2013-07-18 08:54:05 AM  

Rapmaster2000: /realizes this was supposed to the the Mojave


Freaked me out the first time I realized the Okie was Tobey Maguire.
 
2013-07-18 09:06:48 AM  
Ken Cuccinelli sucked the snake venom out but then had to kill him.
 
2013-07-18 09:11:45 AM  
Genaro was eaten by a T-rex while taking a dump.
 
2013-07-18 09:13:07 AM  
gfid: A state reptile? Hell, we have a state rock where I live. Our legislature apparently doesn't have anything better to do.

Amazingly enough, forty five of the fifty states have a state rock. Link 46 if you count crack cocaine as New Jersey's state rock.
 
2013-07-18 09:16:52 AM  

Boojum2k: phlegmmo: colinspooky: Heart attack? Cancers? Sudden death syndrome? Leukemia? Malaria? Typhoid?   Tuberculosis? Diarrheal Diseases? Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease?  AIDS? Cerebrovascular Disease?  Ebola? Polio?

Lupus

It's never lupus.


Except for that one time
 
2013-07-18 09:18:04 AM  
*borat voice*
Dehydration!
 
2013-07-18 09:18:34 AM  

varmitydog: gfid: A state reptile? Hell, we have a state rock where I live. Our legislature apparently doesn't have anything better to do.

Amazingly enough, forty five of the fifty states have a state rock. Link 46 if you count crack cocaine as New Jersey's state rock.


Do crystals count as a rock, they are a mineral right?

If so I nominate Crystal Meth for Missouri
 
2013-07-18 09:19:53 AM  
Oh!  I know! I know!

Now I haven't bothered to read the thread, so sorry if someone else already thought of the correct answer... but...

Clearly this guy is a sky diver.  But when he went to jump out of the plane, his jokester friends replaced his parachute with two reptiles.

Ta daaa!
 
2013-07-18 09:20:20 AM  
Arizona. The Austrailia of the northern hemisphere.
 
2013-07-18 09:21:11 AM  

abhorrent1: Rattlesnakes are protected there? Aren't those farker everywhere?


This species  is protected.  Others are fair game.
 
2013-07-18 09:24:09 AM  
This ghost-written account of "The Giant Rat of Sumatra" wasn't worth wait.
 
2013-07-18 09:41:16 AM  
Without reading the article?  Exposure to the elements... either dehydration or heat-stroke, or both...
 
2013-07-18 09:59:30 AM  
Give me an hour. I'll figure it out
i.usatoday.net
 
2013-07-18 10:02:22 AM  
Natural causes?
 
2013-07-18 10:12:44 AM  
Who run barter town?
 
2013-07-18 10:20:10 AM  
Ooh i read a book with this plotline.  they dropped him out of a helicopter
 
2013-07-18 10:29:14 AM  

vbob: He had severe Von Recklinghausen's Neurofibromatosis. One of the internal fibroids which, over the years, had attached to his proximal aorta finally caused a weakening of the vascular wall leading to an inevitable dissecting aortic aneurysm. The pain was too much, it was as if an invisible railroad spike was stabbing him through his chest and out of his back. He thought about some reptiles. He thought about his pregnant daughter living in St. Croix. He thought he heard his wife's voice calling to him .. his wife who had died so long ago. He looked up and she was standing in front of him .. telling him, "It's not your time, yet. You have much to do here." The pain seemed to abate somewhat, and as he struggled to his feet she whispered to him, "I'm just screwing with you." The aneurysm erupted into and throughout his mediastinum. He felt like a hand grenade had gone off inside of him. His body fell limp onto the earth. He was, as they say in Texas, D.R.T.

Dead Right There.


Holy shiate... this... this is just awesome.
 
2013-07-18 10:46:14 AM  

MythDragon: you are a puppet: gfid: gwenners: Probably because he never named the horse.

Really, who goes through the entire desert without ever naming the horse?

Probably someone who feels good to be out of the rain.

Plus in the desert you can't even remember *your* name

I thought it was only if you're strange, that no one remembers your name.


La laaaaa laaaa lalala la lalala. LAAAAA laaaa...
 
2013-07-18 11:01:17 AM  
I believe that Indiana Jones HATES SNAKES!
 
2013-07-18 11:02:29 AM  
he was one of the Cinci IRS agents "targeting" conservative groups...

also...

Most people would be thrilled to be dumped in Miami. Sadly, I am not most people. Spend a few years as a covert operative, and a sunny beach just looks like a vulnerable tactical position with no decent cover.
 
2013-07-18 11:08:52 AM  
 When you go on the run, the first thing you do is lay down tracks in the opposite direction, but that only works if the bad guys find the trail and believe it's for real. Which means selling it. You need to put on a little show, make them feel clever. When you make somebody work to get a piece of information they'll believe it that much more because it's hard to get.
 
2013-07-18 11:11:17 AM  

dittybopper: GunPlumber: Sand people. They travel single file to hide their numbers.

Can't call 'em Sand People anymore.  Too racist.  You're supposed to call 'em "Tusken-Americans" now.


Jawa pleases...
 
2013-07-18 11:38:09 AM  
I personally am glad he decided to kill the snakes, rather than hit the lever. That would have been bad for all of us!!!!


/obscure?
//on Fark!??! NAH!
 
2013-07-18 11:53:40 AM  
www.virtuescience.com
 
2013-07-18 12:01:45 PM  
I'm more curious as to what killed the snakes.
 
2013-07-18 12:13:13 PM  
I'm gonna go with choked on vomit
 
2013-07-18 12:14:53 PM  
Was he scheduled to testify against Whitey Bulger?
 
2013-07-18 12:40:56 PM  
I love these old-school text adventures.

L
 
2013-07-18 01:10:57 PM  
Apaches. Apaches got 'im.

/why was the ground white at Custer's Last Stand?
//'cause the Injuns just kept a-comin' and a-comin'!
///GERONIMO!
 
2013-07-18 01:59:49 PM  

gibbon1: ecmoRandomNumbers: He died of Arizona in July.

Cause of death: Being Outside in July

In other news, we have a state reptile?

[www.bloomberg.com image 200x266]


Outstanding!
 
2013-07-18 03:20:34 PM  

Oldiron_79: I'm gonna go with choked on vomit


Though, not necessarily his own...

/You can't dust for vomit...
 
2013-07-18 03:57:16 PM  
He obviously died from a-reptile disfunction.
 
2013-07-18 04:35:49 PM  
I thought maybe Monk was getting renewed.
 
2013-07-18 07:00:51 PM  

gwenners: Probably because he never named the horse.

Really, who goes through the entire desert without ever naming the horse?


Look, in the desert, you can't even remember YOUR name.
 
2013-07-19 01:25:08 AM  

colinspooky: Heart attack? Cancers? Sudden death syndrome? Leukemia? Malaria? Typhoid?   Tuberculosis? Diarrheal Diseases? Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease?  AIDS? Cerebrovascular Disease?  Ebola? Polio?  I don't, subby. What are you getting at?



I figured the snakes managed to get loose just enough to bite him through the backpack, but not enough to get out. Or maybe they bit him when he caught them.
 
2013-07-19 02:28:42 AM  
Cause of death: Instant karma
 
2013-07-19 02:56:43 AM  
Nothing new here.  Illegal immigrants die all the time in the Arizona desert, most often due to exposure.  So it was going to be sooner or later that someone with illegal rattlesnakes dies in the Arizona desert.
 
2013-07-19 08:46:26 AM  
this guy obviously thought he was King Sh*t of F*ck Island.
 
2013-07-19 01:33:38 PM  
A giant icicle fell on him just right, so it stabbed him to death, and then the icicle melted.
 
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