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(AZ Family)   A man is found dead in the desert. He is wearing a backpack containing two reptiles. There are no other footprints near the body. How did he die?   (azfamily.com) divider line 140
    More: Dumbass, Daniel Genaro, Fish Department, Cochise County Sheriff's Office  
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18855 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jul 2013 at 3:46 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-07-18 04:29:44 AM

you are a puppet: gfid: gwenners: Probably because he never named the horse.

Really, who goes through the entire desert without ever naming the horse?

Probably someone who feels good to be out of the rain.

Plus in the desert you can't even remember *your* name


But there ain't no one for to give you no pain!
 
2013-07-18 04:36:38 AM

Cyno01: [i2.photobucket.com image 800x323]

Was there a tortoise?


You've never tasted the glacial tang of dexobrimadine. You've never felt the affection of a thousand rigid bristles.
 
2013-07-18 04:38:36 AM
"Arizona Game and Fish Department spokesman Mark Hart says trade in the snakes is illegal but that there is some poaching."

It's illegal to kill a rattlesnake in AZ? Are you farking kidding me? Here in TX that's a year round sport. We even make an event out of it and have Rattlesnake Roundupswith rides for the kids, cook-offs, snake skin souvenirs and all the snake jerky you can eat.
 
2013-07-18 04:54:49 AM

ReapTheChaos: "Arizona Game and Fish Department spokesman Mark Hart says trade in the snakes is illegal but that there is some poaching."

It's illegal to kill a rattlesnake in AZ? Are you farking kidding me? Here in TX that's a year round sport. We even make an event out of it and have Rattlesnake Roundupswith rides for the kids, cook-offs, snake skin souvenirs and all the snake jerky you can eat.


Whatever else people say about Texas, I think we can all agree you're smarter than Arizona. Arizona is like Desert Mississippi.
 
2013-07-18 04:55:44 AM

ReapTheChaos: "Arizona Game and Fish Department spokesman Mark Hart says trade in the snakes is illegal but that there is some poaching."

It's illegal to kill a rattlesnake in AZ? Are you farking kidding me? Here in TX that's a year round sport. We even make an event out of it and have Rattlesnake Roundupswith rides for the kids, cook-offs, snake skin souvenirs and all the snake jerky you can eat.


You live in a place that has made Whacking Day a reality?
 
2013-07-18 04:59:17 AM

Cyno01: [i2.photobucket.com image 800x323]

Was there a tortoise?


What's that?
 
2013-07-18 05:00:52 AM
paging Jonathan Creek
 
2013-07-18 05:06:13 AM

ReapTheChaos: "Arizona Game and Fish Department spokesman Mark Hart says trade in the snakes is illegal but that there is some poaching."

It's illegal to kill a rattlesnake in AZ? Are you farking kidding me? Here in TX that's a year round sport. We even make an event out of it and have Rattlesnake Roundupswith rides for the kids, cook-offs, snake skin souvenirs and all the snake jerky you can eat.


A few years ago in Colorado some kid got bit by a rattlesnake in his parent's garage.  Aside from being charged an astronomical amount for antivenin criminal charges were filed because his father killed the snake.   I really don't care how protected a species is, if they draw first blood as far as I'm concerned those laws don't apply anymore.  (At least in my mind.  Department of Wildlife may have other notions though)
 
2013-07-18 05:11:09 AM

ecmoRandomNumbers: All of our state symbols should be able to kill you.


Gonna have to second that for no other reason than cuz
 
2013-07-18 05:13:17 AM
One set of footprints?
He died somewhere else and Jesus dumped the body there.
Put out an APB for Jesus.
Caution: If you shoot and kill him, hang around the morgue a few days, he tends to wander off.
 
2013-07-18 05:14:59 AM
/dnrtfa

I'm guessing his backpack wasn't thick enough to stop some kind of snake from biting him. Either that or scorpions got to him.
 
2013-07-18 05:24:04 AM
As the balloon lost altitude, the men took of their clothes and threw them overboard to decrease the weight of the balloon. The balloon continued to drop so the men drew straws to see who would be forced to jump. The dead man in the desert drew the shortest one (the half toothpick).
 
2013-07-18 05:25:19 AM
Ah yes, I see the desert hover-pack serial killer is active again.
Only way to avoid the sweet kiss of doom from this ass-clown is to walk backwards towards the sun with ten or twelve of those automatic flying robot defenders spinning around in your personal airspace, helps to have a large bear or two also, and maybe some poisoned slurpees.
 
2013-07-18 05:31:34 AM

gfid: ReapTheChaos: "Arizona Game and Fish Department spokesman Mark Hart says trade in the snakes is illegal but that there is some poaching."

It's illegal to kill a rattlesnake in AZ? Are you farking kidding me? Here in TX that's a year round sport. We even make an event out of it and have Rattlesnake Roundupswith rides for the kids, cook-offs, snake skin souvenirs and all the snake jerky you can eat.

A few years ago in Colorado some kid got bit by a rattlesnake in his parent's garage.  Aside from being charged an astronomical amount for antivenin criminal charges were filed because his father killed the snake.   I really don't care how protected a species is, if they draw first blood as far as I'm concerned those laws don't apply anymore.  (At least in my mind.  Department of Wildlife may have other notions though)


That father should have remembered to say "It's coming right for us"

up-ship.com
 
2013-07-18 05:40:11 AM

Boojum2k: Bung_Howdy: /cat stevens goodness

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rU-KVObNEd4

Also a good choice for thinking of the desert.


I want you to know... if we were dying of thirst in the desert... I would let you drink the last drop of my urine.
 
2013-07-18 06:03:00 AM

gfid: ecmoRandomNumbers: He died of Arizona in July.

That was my first guess too.

A state reptile?  Hell, we have a state rock where I live.  Our legislature apparently doesn't have anything better to do.


So do we. We have a state "leafy green vegetable" too.

\blue granite
\\collard greens
 
2013-07-18 06:07:27 AM
He died of mob shooting. Like everyone else in the desert.
 
2013-07-18 06:07:47 AM
How I think he died...

img827.imageshack.us
 
2013-07-18 06:13:42 AM
Started like this.
www.latenightwithjimmyfallon.com
 
2013-07-18 06:29:09 AM
Rattlesnakes are protected there? Aren't those farker everywhere?
 
2013-07-18 06:36:29 AM
He was sky-diving, jumped out of an airplane, but the parachute didn't open because it had rattlesnakes in it. The pack on his back is a rattle-snake infected parachute.
 
2013-07-18 06:44:04 AM
Well duh, someone replaced his parachute with snakes.
 
2013-07-18 06:46:11 AM
Naked? HE DIED OF HYPOTHERMIA!!

That's one thing to miss about TF,  the lateral thinking puzzles run by <b>Jen The Librarian</b>.

Sliding Carp: Was Jane naked?


Jane, as always, was an ignorant slut.  You do the math.
 
2013-07-18 07:16:40 AM

Deep Contact: Started like this.
[www.latenightwithjimmyfallon.com image 595x382]



Nothing to be proud of Russ.......


/50 yards....
 
2013-07-18 07:19:02 AM

Archie Goodwin: An 800lb snowman fell on him?


wasn't me.
 
2013-07-18 07:20:23 AM
Farking banana peels.
 
2013-07-18 07:20:37 AM
Super long range sniper rifle.
 
2013-07-18 07:21:31 AM
His ammunition ship was torpedoed by a WWII U-boat.  The explosion was so great, that it took this long for his body to fall back to the ground.
 
2013-07-18 07:41:21 AM
Mr Creek? Paging Mr Jonathan Creek...

i.telegraph.co.uk

// They could probably stay with Maddie. I think she was living in Texas last time they mentioned her.
 
2013-07-18 07:44:31 AM

Lokasenna: Mr Creek? Paging Mr Jonathan Creek...

[i.telegraph.co.uk image 620x400]

// They could probably stay with Maddie. I think she was living in Texas last time they mentioned her.


i can't believe two of us were sufficiently lame to make that joke
 
2013-07-18 07:45:00 AM
He jumped out of an airplane with a backpack full of snakes instead of a parachute.
 
2013-07-18 07:49:12 AM
The Cochise County Sheriff's Office

www.indyweek.com
 
2013-07-18 07:50:53 AM

RobSeace: The Cochise County Sheriff's Office

[www.indyweek.com image 850x587]


Holy shiat.  I'm listening to that right now.  :O
 
2013-07-18 07:52:45 AM
He was shot with a McMillan 50 caliber sniper rifle from 2,800 yards away beating the previous record by an impressive distance. Fingerprints proved him to be the second in command of the Arizona Al Qaeda organization.
 
2013-07-18 07:55:12 AM

OscarTamerz: He was shot with a McMillan 50 caliber sniper rifle from 2,800 yards away beating the previous record by an impressive distance. Fingerprints proved him to be the second in command of the Arizona Al Qaeda organization.


AAQO...
AAQO...
AAQO...
AAQO...
 
2013-07-18 07:56:36 AM
Drone strike.

No, not a Predator.  A Highlander.  Beat him to death with a set of bagpipes.
 
2013-07-18 07:57:25 AM
He took Larry Hobson's parking spot.
 
2013-07-18 07:59:59 AM
Boating accident.  Fell overboard and run over.  The propeller killed him.
 
2013-07-18 08:04:45 AM
 
2013-07-18 08:07:03 AM
He died of a self correcting problem.
 
2013-07-18 08:07:18 AM
Insufficient urine was consumed in the emergency.

/Bear Grylls, paging Bear Grylls.
 
2013-07-18 08:09:54 AM
He had to go poop and tried to use the komodo.
 
2013-07-18 08:14:56 AM
He was beaten to death by a nude PETA protester that used a palm frond (that had naturally shedded from a tree, not cruelly harvested) to cover up her footprints as she left the scene.
 
2013-07-18 08:15:48 AM

you are a puppet: gfid: gwenners: Probably because he never named the horse.

Really, who goes through the entire desert without ever naming the horse?

Probably someone who feels good to be out of the rain.

Plus in the desert you can't even remember *your* name


I thought it was only if you're strange, that no one remembers your name.
 
2013-07-18 08:19:20 AM
www.vote29.com
/realizes this was supposed to the the Mojave
 
2013-07-18 08:23:38 AM

Nabb1: Shostie: Is one of them Voight-Kampf questions?

You're not helping. Why is that?


Because he looks like George Zimmerman.

/amidoingitright?
 
2013-07-18 08:30:23 AM
My guess:
www.feistees.com
 
2013-07-18 08:33:35 AM
www.hotflick.net

"snakes are deadly"
 
2013-07-18 08:44:00 AM
Cochise County?  Maybe the Volm got him for being a traitorous skitter-lover.

ext.pimg.tw
 
2013-07-18 08:47:49 AM
Sand people. They travel single file to hide their numbers.
 
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