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(AZ Family)   A man is found dead in the desert. He is wearing a backpack containing two reptiles. There are no other footprints near the body. How did he die?   (azfamily.com) divider line 140
    More: Dumbass, Daniel Genaro, Fish Department, Cochise County Sheriff's Office  
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18858 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jul 2013 at 3:46 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



140 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-07-17 09:07:24 PM  
www.newgameplusplus.net
 
2013-07-17 09:15:47 PM  
scrapetv.com
 
2013-07-17 09:15:50 PM  
He died of Arizona in July.

In other news, we have a state reptile?
 
2013-07-17 09:16:29 PM  
Was Jane naked?
 
2013-07-17 09:28:35 PM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: In other news, we have a state reptile?


Should be the Gila monster.
 
2013-07-17 09:37:05 PM  
Reptile Dysfunction....it's a killer.
 
2013-07-17 09:41:50 PM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: He died of Arizona


i.imgur.com
 
2013-07-17 09:51:55 PM  
Is one of them Voight-Kampf questions?
 
2013-07-17 10:22:04 PM  

Shostie: Is one of them Voight-Kampf questions?


You're not helping. Why is that?
 
2013-07-17 10:42:52 PM  

violentsalvation: ecmoRandomNumbers: In other news, we have a state reptile?

Should be the Gila monster.


I know, right? And the state bird should be a rabid bat. All of our state symbols should be able to kill you.
 
2013-07-17 11:08:50 PM  
Well you know what they say: a snake in the pack is worth two in the desert, or something like that
 
2013-07-17 11:52:19 PM  
Given Fark traffic this week, I'm going with George Zimmerman or a concussion caused by that power plant blowing up, which has only been greenlit 17 times in the past week.
 
2013-07-17 11:54:07 PM  
Go on and save yourself
And take it out on me
Go on and save yourself
And take it out on me, yeah

I'm not a martyr
I'm not a prophet
And I won't preach to you
But here's a caution
You better understand
That I won't hold your hand
But if it helps you mend
Then I won't stop it
 
2013-07-17 11:56:56 PM  

Lsherm: Given Fark traffic this week, I'm going with George Zimmerman or a concussion caused by that power plant blowing up, which has only been greenlit 17 times in the past week.


Sandsharknado
 
2013-07-18 12:55:13 AM  
He stopped breathing
 
2013-07-18 12:58:01 AM  
Arizona desert in July.  I'm guessing he was poached.
 
2013-07-18 01:05:39 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: He stopped breathing


Heart failure.
 
2013-07-18 01:24:09 AM  

Boojum2k: MaudlinMutantMollusk: He stopped breathing

Heart failure.


That, too
 
2013-07-18 02:03:47 AM  
Heart attack? Cancers? Sudden death syndrome? Leukemia? Malaria? Typhoid?   Tuberculosis? Diarrheal Diseases? Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease?  AIDS? Cerebrovascular Disease?  Ebola? Polio?  I don't, subby. What are you getting at?
 
2013-07-18 02:07:38 AM  

colinspooky: Heart attack? Cancers? Sudden death syndrome? Leukemia? Malaria? Typhoid?   Tuberculosis? Diarrheal Diseases? Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease?  AIDS? Cerebrovascular Disease?  Ebola? Polio?


Lupus
 
2013-07-18 02:10:49 AM  

phlegmmo: colinspooky: Heart attack? Cancers? Sudden death syndrome? Leukemia? Malaria? Typhoid?   Tuberculosis? Diarrheal Diseases? Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease?  AIDS? Cerebrovascular Disease?  Ebola? Polio?

Lupus


It's never lupus.
 
2013-07-18 02:40:32 AM  
I'll go with exposure, hypothermia or dehydration related causes

/dnrtfa
 
2013-07-18 02:45:05 AM  
Can't think about spending time in the desert without this song coming to mind- seems apropos

Miles from nowhere
I guess I'll take my time
Oh yeah, to reach there
Look up at the mountain
I have to climb
Oh yeah, to reach there.

Lord my body has been a good friend
But I won't need it when I reach the end

Miles from nowhere
Guess I'll take my time
Oh yeah, to reach there
I creep through the valleys
And I grope through the woods
'cause I know when I find it my honey
It's gonna make me feel good
I love everything
So don't it make you feel sad
'cause I'll drink to you, my baby
I'll think to that, I'll think to that.

Miles from nowhere
Not a soul in sight
Oh yeah, but it's alright
I have my freedom
I can make my own rules
Oh yeah, the ones that I choose

Lord my body has been a good friend
But I won't need it when I reach the end

Miles from nowhere
I Guess I'll take my time
Oh yeah, to reach there.

/cat stevens goodness
 
2013-07-18 02:53:29 AM  

Bung_Howdy: /cat stevens goodness


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rU-KVObNEd4

Also a good choice for thinking of the desert.
 
2013-07-18 03:02:20 AM  

Boojum2k: Bung_Howdy: /cat stevens goodness

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rU-KVObNEd4

Also a good choice for thinking of the desert.


agreed
 
2013-07-18 03:23:05 AM  

phlegmmo: colinspooky: Heart attack? Cancers? Sudden death syndrome? Leukemia? Malaria? Typhoid?   Tuberculosis? Diarrheal Diseases? Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease?  AIDS? Cerebrovascular Disease?  Ebola? Polio?

Lupus


Boogie fever.
 
2013-07-18 03:26:07 AM  
Another appropriate song for the desert: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amDo-KqUjpA
 
2013-07-18 03:48:14 AM  
Hypothermia. Also, he drowned.
 
2013-07-18 03:50:22 AM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: He died of Arizona in July.


That was my first guess too.

A state reptile?  Hell, we have a state rock where I live.  Our legislature apparently doesn't have anything better to do.
 
2013-07-18 03:50:30 AM  
He probably died before being pushed through the Stargate
 
2013-07-18 03:50:49 AM  
Ninjas got him.
 
2013-07-18 03:53:16 AM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: He died of Arizona in July.


Cause of death: Being Outside in July

In other news, we have a state reptile?

www.bloomberg.com
 
2013-07-18 03:54:16 AM  
Probably because he never named the horse.

Really, who goes through the entire desert without ever naming the horse?
 
2013-07-18 03:56:50 AM  

gwenners: Probably because he never named the horse.

Really, who goes through the entire desert without ever naming the horse?


Probably someone who feels good to be out of the rain.
 
2013-07-18 03:57:27 AM  
www.esperino.com
 
2013-07-18 03:58:07 AM  

gfid: gwenners: Probably because he never named the horse.

Really, who goes through the entire desert without ever naming the horse?

Probably someone who feels good to be out of the rain.


Plus in the desert you can't even remember *your* name
 
2013-07-18 03:58:54 AM  

rikdanger: phlegmmo: colinspooky: Heart attack? Cancers? Sudden death syndrome? Leukemia? Malaria? Typhoid?   Tuberculosis? Diarrheal Diseases? Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease?  AIDS? Cerebrovascular Disease?  Ebola? Polio?

Lupus

Boogie fever.


Rockin' Pnumonia?
 
2013-07-18 03:59:11 AM  
everybody posting song lyrics ..

All I wanna do is have some fun
I got a feeling I'm not the only one
All I wanna do is have some fun
I got a feeling I'm not the only one
All I wanna do is have some fun
Until the sun comes up over
Santa Monica Boulevard

so anyways ...enough about that  story.
 
2013-07-18 04:04:03 AM  
He fell out of the ISS, where he was doing zero-gee experiments on reptiles.
 
2013-07-18 04:05:05 AM  

colinspooky: Heart attack? Cancers? Sudden death syndrome? Leukemia? Malaria? Typhoid?   Tuberculosis? Diarrheal Diseases? Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease?  AIDS? Cerebrovascular Disease?  Ebola? Polio?  I don't, subby. What are you getting at?


White people
 
2013-07-18 04:05:44 AM  
Drone strike? And the rattlers are a coverup?
 
2013-07-18 04:08:14 AM  
He was pushed out of a subway.
 
2013-07-18 04:09:15 AM  
Seen fleeing from the scene:
lh3.ggpht.com
 
2013-07-18 04:11:24 AM  
An 800lb snowman fell on him?
 
2013-07-18 04:11:26 AM  
Insufficient urine intake.
 
2013-07-18 04:13:14 AM  
i2.photobucket.com

Was there a tortoise?
 
2013-07-18 04:14:52 AM  
He had severe Von Recklinghausen's Neurofibromatosis. One of the internal fibroids which, over the years, had attached to his proximal aorta finally caused a weakening of the vascular wall leading to an inevitable dissecting aortic aneurysm. The pain was too much, it was as if an invisible railroad spike was stabbing him through his chest and out of his back. He thought about some reptiles. He thought about his pregnant daughter living in St. Croix. He thought he heard his wife's voice calling to him .. his wife who had died so long ago. He looked up and she was standing in front of him .. telling him, "It's not your time, yet. You have much to do here." The pain seemed to abate somewhat, and as he struggled to his feet she whispered to him, "I'm just screwing with you." The aneurysm erupted into and throughout his mediastinum. He felt like a hand grenade had gone off inside of him. His body fell limp onto the earth. He was, as they say in Texas, D.R.T.

Dead Right There.
 
2013-07-18 04:19:30 AM  
vampire bites look similar to rattlers. do not be fooled!
 
2013-07-18 04:26:58 AM  
I think it was Airbus. They have a reputation built on the pre-meditated killing of passengers.
 
2013-07-18 04:27:48 AM  
I'm gonna go with death caused by being a dumbass.
 
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