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(LA Times)   Hot Pockets going upscale to attract hipster foodie millennials, enlist Food Network celebrity chef Jeff Mauro to plug it   (latimes.com) divider line 92
    More: Ironic, Hot Pockets, Food Network, Jeff Mauro, celebrity chef, Bobby Flay  
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2369 clicks; posted to Business » on 17 Jul 2013 at 3:23 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



92 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-07-17 01:42:48 PM
Yeah but I hear it tastes just like a Hot Pocket.

Hot Pocket.
 
2013-07-17 01:45:14 PM
god damned hipsters, unsatisfied with the current quality of hot pockets
 
2013-07-17 01:46:07 PM
Just get a calzone.
 
2013-07-17 01:49:17 PM
As long as they can still be served boiling-lava-hot.

Hot Pocket!
 
2013-07-17 01:49:46 PM
"enlist Food Network celebrity chef Jeff Mauro to plug it"

Into a hipster's orifice of our choosing?
 
2013-07-17 01:53:52 PM
MOM!

Where is my organic chorizo peanut curry hotpocket on a bed of arugala garnished with cilantro-pickled asparagus?!?!
 
2013-07-17 01:58:36 PM
25.media.tumblr.com
/obligatory
 
2013-07-17 02:04:08 PM

exick: As long as they can still be served boiling-lava-hot.

Hot Pocket!


But only when you first bite into it.

By the time your second degree burned mouth makes it to the middle, the lava has been replaced by frozen mush that soothes your burns.
 
2013-07-17 02:09:15 PM
They ought to call those damn things "Lava Pockets" and be done with it.
 
2013-07-17 02:13:47 PM
Don't know the guy, it will fail, mostly because they have been successful making bad food
 
2013-07-17 02:17:12 PM

Aarontology: Just get a calzone.


They have those, too ...

www.artfire.com
 
2013-07-17 02:17:47 PM

HawgWild: Aarontology: Just get a calzone.

They have those, too ...

[www.artfire.com image 500x375]


Oh, dear god.
 
2013-07-17 02:18:56 PM
Warning! You just bought Hot Pockets! Hope you're drunk or heading home to a trailer!
 
2013-07-17 02:20:26 PM
If there's one thing hipster foodies love, it's the Food Network.
 
2013-07-17 02:20:44 PM
Hot Pockets are what completely giving up tastes like.
 
2013-07-17 02:22:04 PM

brap: Hot Pockets are what completely giving up tastes like.


They're the sweatpants and moccasins of food.
 
2013-07-17 02:23:56 PM

Aarontology: HawgWild: Aarontology: Just get a calzone.

They have those, too ...

[www.artfire.com image 500x375]

Oh, dear god.


www.1800pocketpc.com
 
2013-07-17 02:23:57 PM
i like the breakfast ones.
 
2013-07-17 02:29:51 PM

kbronsito: i like the breakfast ones.


Good morning! You're about to call in sick.

Hot Pocket!
 
2013-07-17 02:41:13 PM
a joke I saw on a comedy central special once

tee hee
 
2013-07-17 03:30:02 PM
Kinda like how Taco Bell has that hot chef in their ads now.  The present one is her gesturing in an OSHA-unapproved manner with a sharp knife.
 
2013-07-17 03:32:02 PM

JohnAnnArbor: Kinda like how Taco Bell has that hot chef in their ads now.  The present one is her gesturing in an OSHA-unapproved manner with a sharp knife.


It really shows how edgy they are
 
2013-07-17 03:33:12 PM
Jeff Mauro is not a celebrity chef. He's a dude who likes sandwiches a lot.

I hate Food Network.
 
2013-07-17 03:34:22 PM
In a related note: Why is there no rule, regulation, or law or something that says "The food you get must look like the food in the picture, or your money back"?

Yea, yea, I know, Falling Down...still, it is needed.
 
2013-07-17 03:35:03 PM

JohnAnnArbor: Kinda like how Taco Bell has that hot chef in their ads now.  The present one is her gesturing in an OSHA-unapproved manner with a sharp knife.


Her reputation as a legit chef took a nose dive after that. For some reason Collichio survived his Diet Coke debacle but pick the wrong endorsement Nd boom. Food cred ruined.
 
2013-07-17 03:36:55 PM

xaks: In a related note: Why is there no rule, regulation, or law or something that says "The food you get must look like the food in the picture, or your money back"?

Yea, yea, I know, Falling Down...still, it is needed.


My favorite is Olive Garden or Red Lobster. Looks like mostly shiat in the commercial but is really shiat in person.
 
2013-07-17 03:45:04 PM

Aarontology: Just get a calzone.


Yeah, but a calzone from where? You gotta make sure the cheese is free trade, the tomatoes were picked by living wage workers, and the dough is carbon-neutral. Also you gotta be the first to Yelp/Instagram it otherwise you're just a poser.

Is poser still a thing? If not, is it so not a thing that it's now a hipster thing?
 
2013-07-17 03:57:01 PM

HawgWild: Aarontology: Just get a calzone.

They have those, too ...

[www.artfire.com image 500x375]


That is an abomination unto the Lord.
 
2013-07-17 04:05:51 PM
I literally have not been able to even LOOK at Hot Pockets after hearing Gaffigan's routine.
 
2013-07-17 04:11:55 PM

Janusdog: JohnAnnArbor: Kinda like how Taco Bell has that hot chef in their ads now.  The present one is her gesturing in an OSHA-unapproved manner with a sharp knife.

Her reputation as a legit chef took a nose dive after that. For some reason Collichio survived his Diet Coke debacle but pick the wrong endorsement Nd boom. Food cred ruined.


Hey, I got the black bean cantina bowl because of her first ad.  First time in a Taco Bell in at least a decade.

It was pretty good, too.
 
2013-07-17 04:14:53 PM

Janusdog: Jeff Mauro is not a celebrity chef. He's a dude who likes sandwiches a lot.

I hate Food Network.


It has definitely gone to hell over the past decade.
 
2013-07-17 04:21:30 PM
Hipster Pocket....
 
2013-07-17 04:23:54 PM
Will they still be prepared in a dirty microwave?
 
2013-07-17 04:30:48 PM

Aarontology: Just get a calzone.


I was sort of going to say this. I think "Hot Pocket" is a name with too much baggage. Just call them Quick Calzones or something like that. It's basically the same thing.
 
2013-07-17 04:40:12 PM

HawgWild: Aarontology: Just get a calzone.

They have those, too ...

[www.artfire.com image 500x375]


In Papyrus font.  Spectacular.
 
2013-07-17 04:57:22 PM
They should have one of these new Hot Pockets use manatee meat as the main filling.

Sea Cow Pocket!
 
2013-07-17 05:01:08 PM

paswa17: They should have one of these new Hot Pockets use manatee meat as the main filling.

Sea Cow Pocket!


Hey, there aren't any seagoing marsupials, are there?
 
2013-07-17 05:02:31 PM
Which orifice will it be plugged into?
 
2013-07-17 05:06:15 PM
death pocket
 
2013-07-17 05:31:59 PM

SilentStrider: I literally have not been able to even LOOK at Hot Pockets after hearing Gaffigan's routine.


Same. My daughter put it on one day, and not only did we giggle ourselves to bits that night at the store in the freezer aisle, but whenever one of us has a bad idea we derail it with that sing-song jingle.

/ "Dad, I'm gonna take a walk up to the store, k?"
// "At 11pm?" *cough* " Hot pocket. ♫"
// "Hmm."
 
2013-07-17 05:57:53 PM
I wonder how much the makers of hot pockets hate Gaffigan.
 
2013-07-17 06:12:25 PM
meh. Hot pockets are good "im kinda hungry but dont really want to cook so whats in the freezer that i can eat in 3 minutes?" kinda stuff. Like frozen burritos or single serve pizzas. Nuke it, add sricracha, let cool and consume.
 
2013-07-17 06:28:20 PM

jst3p: I wonder how much the makers of hot pockets hate Gaffigan.


They sent him crates of the things in thanks for the publicity. Their sales have actually increased significantly since his special aired.
 
2013-07-17 06:33:30 PM

Lost Thought 00: jst3p: I wonder how much the makers of hot pockets hate Gaffigan.

They sent him crates of the things in thanks for the publicity. Their sales have actually increased significantly since his special aired.



Free publicity pocket!
 
2013-07-17 06:35:15 PM
Hot Pockets and  Top Ramen for Thanksgiving Dinner next on America's Test Kitchen.
 
2013-07-17 06:35:40 PM

Lost Thought 00: jst3p: I wonder how much the makers of hot pockets hate Gaffigan.

They sent him crates of the things in thanks for the publicity. Their sales have actually increased significantly since his special aired.


The same thing happened with the bacon company after people saw his chunk on bacon.

/"chunky bacon!"
 
2013-07-17 06:38:00 PM
Say what you will, but the new pretzel-bread Hot Pockets are  really friggin good.
 
2013-07-17 06:47:27 PM
I used to always keep a few boxes of Hot Pockets in my freezer for a quick convenient lunch. I'm not a a fan of the traditional pepperoni pizza ones, but the ham & cheese ones, the barbecue style beef, the cheeseburger, and the four cheese pizza ones weren't bad.

And to prevent the nuclear lava ends/icy mush middle problem with the hot pockets, I've always found that letting them sit for at least 5 minutes (while still in the microwave sleeves) after taking them out of the microwave helps to distribute the heat.

But, alas, Hot Pockets are now forbidden territory for me (low sodium diet means I try to stay away from processed foods as much as humanly possible). I think now if I had one I'd be sick all night.
 
2013-07-17 06:48:01 PM

JadedFloridian: Say what you will, but the new pretzel-bread Hot Pockets are  really friggin good.


...that being a relative assessment, obviously. I've had a really good 7-11 burrito before, too. Doesn't mean I'd be passing it along to Alton Brown with my recommendations.
 
2013-07-17 06:49:28 PM

brap: Hot Pockets are what completely giving up tastes like.


Because your taste buds are permanently burned off by the lava temperature filling.
 
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