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(Buzzfeed)   "Also, he may have accidentally mailed a vibrator to Michele Bachmann"   (buzzfeed.com ) divider line
    More: Amusing, Michele Bachmann, conservative Christians, group of companies, Maya & Miguel, Rick Tyler, Rand Paul  
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3426 clicks; posted to Politics » on 17 Jul 2013 at 11:18 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



76 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2013-07-17 11:22:58 AM  
Supposed to go to Marcus?
 
2013-07-17 11:24:04 AM  
Supposed to go to Pelosi?
 
2013-07-17 11:24:48 AM  
"Christian businessman"?  Did something go wrong and they found out that the con artist they thought they were working for was really batshait crazy after all?
 
2013-07-17 11:25:55 AM  
Heh, that's awesome.

Should send her and Marcus some anal beads next.  Or a nice 'ole butt plug.
 
2013-07-17 11:27:04 AM  

Satanic_Hamster: Heh, that's awesome.

Should send her and Marcus some anal beads next.  Or a nice 'ole butt plug.


That was accidentally sent to Santorum.
 
2013-07-17 11:27:06 AM  
She and Marcus probably use it Requiem for a Dream style.
 
2013-07-17 11:27:22 AM  
Michelle:  What is this- oh my goodness!
Marcus:  I'll get rid of it honey.  *takes vibrator and copy of ESPN Mag Body Issue into bathroom*
Michelle:  What a great husband!
 
2013-07-17 11:32:20 AM  
Meanwhile, Wenzel has filed his own suit against Strategy Group in an effort to work for his father's political consulting firm, Wenzel Strategies. He's also claiming that Elsass is holding personal items of his hostage in the office, including a computer and a harpoon.

Was it bring your harpoon to work day?
 
2013-07-17 11:33:50 AM  

Witty_Retort: Supposed to go to Marcus?


Done in one.
 
2013-07-17 11:34:44 AM  
a vibrator

www.travelsnitch.org
approves
 
2013-07-17 11:34:53 AM  
Sounds like it was a Magic Wand. I think Michelle (and Marcus) could benefit from some "intense" "massage" sessions. (Actually, the increased blood flow might really help with Shelly's migraine problems.)

Also, it sounds like this office had sheets of LSD dropped into the water cooler every morning. HOOOOOOOOOLY crap.
 
2013-07-17 11:35:36 AM  
Be sure to read the first part of this report that came out about a month or so ago.  Long read, but it's some real crazy shiat.
 
2013-07-17 11:38:46 AM  
Whatever for?

I heard she gets plenty of satisfaction from her gay husband.
 
2013-07-17 11:38:47 AM  
"female pleasure machine"  - not necessarily a dildo.
 
2013-07-17 11:39:40 AM  
5. Holding him to Family Time Accountability - Being home, finding time to be with family, this has to become a major part of his renewal, again his wife is going to have to be instrumental in letting us know if he's keeping his promise

Lolz.  Part of their demands were that he needs to spend more time with his family.
 
2013-07-17 11:40:05 AM  
Accidentally the whole thing?
 
2013-07-17 11:40:07 AM  
OK, the fact that this is on Buzzfeed cracked me up.
 
2013-07-17 11:40:50 AM  

Philip Francis Queeg: Meanwhile, Wenzel has filed his own suit against Strategy Group in an effort to work for his father's political consulting firm, Wenzel Strategies. He's also claiming that Elsass is holding personal items of his hostage in the office, including a computer and a harpoon.

Was it bring your harpoon to work day?


Maybe it wasn't a Captain Ahab kind of harpoon, but rather the kind of harpoon that you you might wrap in a dirty red bandana. Maybe he plays it while Bobbi sings the blues.
 
2013-07-17 11:41:02 AM  
After the managers made their demands in a dramatic meeting that culminated with them laying hands on their boss and praying for his soul

That's farking creepy, man.
 
2013-07-17 11:41:28 AM  
Only one?
 
2013-07-17 11:42:54 AM  

Fart_Machine: Satanic_Hamster: Heh, that's awesome.

Should send her and Marcus some anal beads next.  Or a nice 'ole butt plug.

That was accidentally sent to Santorum.


I'm sure that one was sent on purpose.
 
2013-07-17 11:43:13 AM  

meat0918: Only one?


With two ends, I'd guess.
 
2013-07-17 11:44:00 AM  

theknuckler_33: After the managers made their demands in a dramatic meeting that culminated with them laying hands on their boss and praying for his soul

That's farking creepy, man.


What? That's not how you finish meetings where you work? Weird...
 
2013-07-17 11:44:20 AM  

Satanic_Hamster: Heh, that's awesome.

Should send her and Marcus some anal beads next.  Or a nice 'ole butt plug.


Not a good idea. Marcus spent days organizing his butt plug collection (Michelle thinks they're "traffic cones") and a new butt plug means he'll have to reorganize his collection all over again.

Feel free to send Michelle the anal beads - just make sure to use it a few times before you send it and call it a "necklace made with rare chocolate pearls".
 
2013-07-17 11:45:03 AM  

theknuckler_33: After the managers made their demands in a dramatic meeting that culminated with them laying hands on their boss and praying for his soul

That's farking creepy, man.


I also like the demand that he change churches, including giving a suggestion.
 
2013-07-17 11:45:19 AM  
She could probably use it.
 
2013-07-17 11:45:25 AM  
She can do ass-to-ass with a double dong with Marcus.
 
2013-07-17 11:47:29 AM  

theknuckler_33: After the managers made their demands in a dramatic meeting that culminated with them laying hands on their boss and praying for his soul

That's farking creepy, man.


I love that he responded to that by firing three of them.
 
2013-07-17 11:51:42 AM  

Witty_Retort: Supposed to go to Marcus?


You leave me out of this.
 
2013-07-17 11:52:59 AM  

Almost Everybody Poops: She and Marcus probably use it Requiem for a Dream style.


Ass to ass?
 
2013-07-17 11:53:14 AM  
Wenzel has filed his own suit against Strategy Group in an effort to work for his father's political consulting firm, Wenzel Strategies. He's also claiming that Elsass is holding personal items of his hostage in the office, including a computer and a harpoon

Are we absolutely certain this isn't satire?
 
2013-07-17 11:54:20 AM  
www.hdwallpaperspics.com
//obscure, I think not.
 
2013-07-17 11:55:17 AM  

theknuckler_33: After the managers made their demands in a dramatic meeting that culminated with them laying hands on their boss and praying for his soul

That's farking creepy, man.


You know you have a great story when "accidentally" sending a vibrator to a Congresswoman isn't the weirdest part.
 
2013-07-17 11:55:48 AM  
Talk about rejecting Jesus's plea for humility.

Also, how the hell do you "accidentally" mail somebody a vibrator? You tripped and dropped the vibrator into a box, sealed it up, addressed it to them, and put it in the mail all while you were falling to the ground from the initial trip?
 
2013-07-17 11:57:36 AM  
Those people sound like stoned hippies from some sideways Christian hippie universe.

the managers planned to begin their intervention with a prayer, "to set the tone in a loving way" because they "had to do all possible to convey genuine love." Everhart said they needed to let him know they were "there to help him."

If these people think you're crazy you've got real problems.
 
2013-07-17 11:58:57 AM  

Serious Black: Talk about rejecting Jesus's plea for humility.

Also, how the hell do you "accidentally" mail somebody a vibrator? You tripped and dropped the vibrator into a box, sealed it up, addressed it to them, and put it in the mail all while you were falling to the ground from the initial trip?


According to the article they wanted to send her something for migraines but ended up sending a magic wand instead.
 
2013-07-17 12:02:11 PM  
Wait, these guys are in Columbus, Ohio?  Really?

I can only imagine that their offices are as far from the Short North as possible to avoid and "gay beams" that might emanate from there. Probably south side of town, Grovetucky area.
 
2013-07-17 12:02:34 PM  

Fart_Machine: Serious Black: Talk about rejecting Jesus's plea for humility.

Also, how the hell do you "accidentally" mail somebody a vibrator? You tripped and dropped the vibrator into a box, sealed it up, addressed it to them, and put it in the mail all while you were falling to the ground from the initial trip?

According to the article they wanted to send her something for migraines but ended up sending a magic wand instead.


They just mixed up migraines and hysteria, understandable.
 
2013-07-17 12:04:13 PM  

gnosis301: "female pleasure machine"  - not necessarily a dildo.


Credit card?

Ha, be sure tip your '40s-style waitress.
 
2013-07-17 12:05:41 PM  

Gaseous Anomaly: Fart_Machine: Serious Black: Talk about rejecting Jesus's plea for humility.

Also, how the hell do you "accidentally" mail somebody a vibrator? You tripped and dropped the vibrator into a box, sealed it up, addressed it to them, and put it in the mail all while you were falling to the ground from the initial trip?

According to the article they wanted to send her something for migraines but ended up sending a magic wand instead.

They just mixed up migraines and hysteria, understandable.


I tell stories about hysteria and the history of vibrators to tourists in my job as a tour guide, so I'm getting a charge - er, a kick out of your reply.
 
2013-07-17 12:05:48 PM  

Fart_Machine: Serious Black: Talk about rejecting Jesus's plea for humility.

Also, how the hell do you "accidentally" mail somebody a vibrator? You tripped and dropped the vibrator into a box, sealed it up, addressed it to them, and put it in the mail all while you were falling to the ground from the initial trip?

According to the article they wanted to send her something for migraines but ended up sending a magic wand instead.


That's actually a smart idea. Orgasms are a very good treatment for headaches. That may be why she had a headache problem in the first place; most beards don't get laid very often.
 
2013-07-17 12:06:05 PM  

Fart_Machine: Serious Black: Talk about rejecting Jesus's plea for humility.

Also, how the hell do you "accidentally" mail somebody a vibrator? You tripped and dropped the vibrator into a box, sealed it up, addressed it to them, and put it in the mail all while you were falling to the ground from the initial trip?

According to the article they wanted to send her something for migraines but ended up sending a magic wand instead.


Which is really funny considering this quote about Obama from Bachmann yesterday....

"He has a perpetual magic wand, and nobody's given him a spanking yet and taken it out of his hand," the Minnesota Republican told. "That's what Congress needs to do. The way we spank the president is we do it through the checkbook."
 
2013-07-17 12:07:01 PM  
He just thought it was a shoulder massager.
 
2013-07-17 12:07:34 PM  

Cletus C.: gnosis301: "female pleasure machine"  - not necessarily a dildo.

Credit card?

Ha, be sure tip your '40s-style waitress.


I wasn't going to say it
 
2013-07-17 12:10:37 PM  

Philip Francis Queeg: Meanwhile, Wenzel has filed his own suit against Strategy Group in an effort to work for his father's political consulting firm, Wenzel Strategies. He's also claiming that Elsass is holding personal items of his hostage in the office, including a computer and a harpoon.

Was it bring your harpoon to work day?


www.nobleknight.com

To be fair, it is one of the best naval war games ever made. It was even part of the US Naval Academy curriculum. What right-thinking Conservative wouldn't want to have a copy on display?
 
2013-07-17 12:10:42 PM  

Dr. Whoof: Wait, these guys are in Columbus, Ohio?  Really?

I can only imagine that their offices are as far from the Short North as possible to avoid and "gay beams" that might emanate from there. Probably south side of town, Grovetucky area.


Google Maps says it has a Delaware address, but it's well to the south of downtown Delaware, close to the Alum Creek Lake dam.
 
2013-07-17 12:11:06 PM  
Both parties sound like controlling nut jobs.
 
2013-07-17 12:11:54 PM  

gnosis301: "female pleasure machine"  - not necessarily a dildo.


Are you implying that it might have been a Sybian? Or one of those hammer drills with a dong on the end?

Inquiring minds want to know....
 
2013-07-17 12:12:07 PM  
I can understand the vibrator bit. From my experiences working at Brookstone, unless you were a store manager you got paid diddlyshiat and had very little training on what as sold.

I took it upon myself to read up on everything.... ...i guess thats why my sales were always low, i cant sell people a line of bullshiat. ...like a weather alarm clock that doesnt cover the county the clock is in, and needs an additional fee based subscription.
 
2013-07-17 12:12:51 PM  

Shirley Ujest: Both parties sound like controlling nut jobs.


when people name the voices in their head 'God', that tends to happen.
 
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