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(Guardian)   Why would you need lubricants for oral sex?   (guardian.co.uk) divider line 80
    More: Unlikely, Orthodox Jews, certification mark  
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9522 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Jul 2013 at 1:01 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



80 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-07-17 10:11:18 AM
"Sometimes, in the heat of passion, it's okay to go ass-to-mouth"

Also, some lubes are flavored for a reason.  Easier to have one tube for both licking off and sliding in.
 
2013-07-17 11:11:58 AM
Dry mouth?
 
2013-07-17 11:26:00 AM
Said subby's mom
 
2013-07-17 11:38:53 AM
"I'm going to make it so dry for you..."
 
2013-07-17 11:41:41 AM
Cottonmouth?
 
2013-07-17 11:49:04 AM

simplicimus: Cottonmouth?


You're doing it wrong
 
2013-07-17 11:50:47 AM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: simplicimus: Cottonmouth?

You're doing it wrong


Wouldn't surprise me.
 
2013-07-17 11:54:23 AM

simplicimus: Cottonmouth?


If you're going to f*ck a snake, you're going to need more than lube.
 
2013-07-17 11:55:24 AM
Orthodox Jews can buy sexual lubricants that have been declared kosher

That's good, I hate those lubricants that are made of pork and lobster.

Actually, my first BJ "this morning (I keed)" was from a pot head chick who had a really dry mouth. It was like sandpaper and I thought "shiat, I hate blowjobs. What's wrong with me?".  Luckily I had better experiences in the future.
 
2013-07-17 12:07:38 PM

Mugato: Orthodox Jews can buy sexual lubricants that have been declared kosher

That's good, I hate those lubricants that are made of pork and lobster.


Gelatin is often made with collagen taken from non-kosher animals (like pigs), or animals killed in ways other than the prescribed. Per wiki:
upload.wikimedia.org

// TMYK
// "I'm gonna get SUCH a beejer..."
 
2013-07-17 12:08:56 PM
Blessed are the lubed.
 
2013-07-17 12:13:15 PM

brap: Blessed are the lubed.


for they shall insert the girth
 
2013-07-17 12:16:10 PM
Oral sex? But I thought Orthodox Jews weren't supposed to have sex outside of marriage.
 
2013-07-17 12:16:48 PM
I read this as:

Why would you need lubricants? For oral sex.
 
2013-07-17 12:30:45 PM

Dr Dreidel: Mugato: Orthodox Jews can buy sexual lubricants that have been declared kosher

That's good, I hate those lubricants that are made of pork and lobster.

Gelatin is often made with collagen taken from non-kosher animals (like pigs), or animals killed in ways other than the prescribed. Per wiki:
upload.wikimedia.org

// TMYK
// "I'm gonna get SUCH a beejer..."


What the fark is the difference between "bovine hides" and "pig skin?"
 
2013-07-17 12:38:54 PM
You work in a morgue?
 
2013-07-17 12:39:37 PM

SurfaceTension: You work in a morgue?


Ew.

/still giggled
 
2013-07-17 12:40:10 PM

show me: Dr Dreidel: Mugato: Orthodox Jews can buy sexual lubricants that have been declared kosher

That's good, I hate those lubricants that are made of pork and lobster.

Gelatin is often made with collagen taken from non-kosher animals (like pigs), or animals killed in ways other than the prescribed. Per wiki:
[upload.wikimedia.org image 294x218]

// TMYK
// "I'm gonna get SUCH a beejer..."

What the fark is the difference between "bovine hides" and "pig skin?"



One covers a cow and the other covers a pig.
 
2013-07-17 12:47:30 PM

Sybarite: Oral sex? But I thought Orthodox Jews weren't supposed to have sex outside of marriage.


Lolled. Snerked a bit even.
 
2013-07-17 12:59:11 PM
CSB: I was in Mexico and got a bj from a hooker in the back room of a strip club - I wore a lubricated condom.
 
2013-07-17 01:05:52 PM
You mean besides alcohol?
 
2013-07-17 01:06:38 PM
Well maybe after a big meal of saltines you just need a lil extra moisture in there
 
2013-07-17 01:07:35 PM
I'll bet the Jews blew this.

CSB: Two of the more memorable encounters with orality I've had have been with nice Jewish girls. Clearly, my demonstrably Gentile junk must have seemed exotic after a steady diet of kosher dill.

Alas, from my male Jewish friends, I understand they stop after marriage.

/rolled back the rim to win.
 
2013-07-17 01:08:16 PM
It cuts the taste of shiat?
 
2013-07-17 01:08:55 PM
Also,

phillbarron.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-07-17 01:09:01 PM
It's not for oral, but if you get this all over your body parts, then you're going to risk getting some in your mouth.  Or for those who do use it for vaginal sex, then go do oral.  Or, of course, as someone immediately pointed out, ATM, if that's your thing... eww.
 
2013-07-17 01:09:30 PM
Just use a little schmaltz.
 
2013-07-17 01:09:34 PM
Jewish girls swallow?
 
2013-07-17 01:11:38 PM
I own four apartment buildings. I have central air.
i1.ytimg.com
And a well funded 401k.
 
2013-07-17 01:12:05 PM

Ennuipoet: brap: Blessed are the lubed.

for they shall insert the girth


Not bad!
 
2013-07-17 01:13:19 PM
darth_badger Jewish girls swallow?

No. But they do get chapped lips.
 
2013-07-17 01:18:32 PM

Sybarite: show me: Dr Dreidel: Mugato: Orthodox Jews can buy sexual lubricants that have been declared kosher

That's good, I hate those lubricants that are made of pork and lobster.

Gelatin is often made with collagen taken from non-kosher animals (like pigs), or animals killed in ways other than the prescribed. Per wiki:
[upload.wikimedia.org image 294x218]

// TMYK
// "I'm gonna get SUCH a beejer..."

What the fark is the difference between "bovine hides" and "pig skin?"


One covers a cow and the other covers a pig.


OK, I was asleep when I wrote that. Thanks.
 
2013-07-17 01:19:03 PM
What is the difference between jelly and jam?

Never heard of anyone jellying their dick in someone's mouth
 
2013-07-17 01:19:59 PM
Well, if you hawk up spit onto the cock like modern porn stars seem to have a fad for, i can see you running out of spit.

/seriously, knock that shiat off
 
drp
2013-07-17 01:21:01 PM
Duh, it's for after she takes the kosher peyote.
 
2013-07-17 01:22:19 PM

Fano: Well, if you hawk up spit onto the cock like modern porn stars seem to have a fad for, i can see you running out of spit.

/seriously, knock that shiat off


I wouldn't mind receiving a good horking.

/never been horked on
 
2013-07-17 01:23:42 PM
That's really farking stupid. Jewish girls don't give BJs.

/dated one
//never again
 
2013-07-17 01:23:45 PM
You don't need lube for oral unless your tongue is like a farkin cat's...
If that's the case...I pity you.
 
2013-07-17 01:24:12 PM
t3.gstatic.com

"Scar tissue."
 
2013-07-17 01:24:24 PM

brap: Blessed are the lubed.


Well, obviously it's not meant to be taken literally. It refers to any sexual device
 
2013-07-17 01:24:59 PM
Peel the scabs off and you won't have to use lubricants..
 
2013-07-17 01:25:05 PM

show me: Dr Dreidel: Mugato: Orthodox Jews can buy sexual lubricants that have been declared kosher

That's good, I hate those lubricants that are made of pork and lobster.

Gelatin is often made with collagen taken from non-kosher animals (like pigs), or animals killed in ways other than the prescribed. Per wiki:


// TMYK
// "I'm gonna get SUCH a beejer..."

What the fark is the difference between "bovine hides" and "pig skin?"


swine ain't bovine.
 
2013-07-17 01:25:27 PM
I could see it coming in handy (hehehe, I said "handy") in a case of Sjogren's syndrome.  Or maybe a bad case of graft-versus-host disease.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sj%C3%B6gren's_syndrome
 
2013-07-17 01:26:41 PM
memedump.com
 
2013-07-17 01:27:33 PM
From the manufacturer's website press release:

An Orthodox rabbi who works as a kosher supervisor - but who didn't want be identified due to the subject matter - said the newly kosher lube should glide off the shelves.
 
2013-07-17 01:27:34 PM

abhorrent1: That's really farking stupid. Jewish girls don't give BJs.

/dated one
//never again


darth_badger: Jewish girls swallow?


I think you both need to get out more. I've dated/hooked up with over a dozen who do (either/both). I have no idea where that stereotype came (heh) from.

Either that, or stop trolling for poon in Hasidic neighborhoods.

// actually, there's something of a problem with people in those communities "going native" on the d/l
// and, not knowing anything about contraception/STDs, they bring those problems right back with them
 
2013-07-17 01:28:09 PM

show me: Dr Dreidel: Mugato: Orthodox Jews can buy sexual lubricants that have been declared kosher

That's good, I hate those lubricants that are made of pork and lobster.

Gelatin is often made with collagen taken from non-kosher animals (like pigs), or animals killed in ways other than the prescribed. Per wiki:
[upload.wikimedia.org image 294x218]

// TMYK
// "I'm gonna get SUCH a beejer..."

What the fark is the difference between "bovine hides" and "pig skin?"


One is from pigs, one is from cows..... ?
 
2013-07-17 01:30:42 PM
It's just that big...
 
2013-07-17 01:33:05 PM
Global warming.
 
2013-07-17 01:35:12 PM
BJ lube?

Just eat a slice of cheesecake in front of her as she's going down.  Let nature take over from there.
 
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