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(The Daily Caller)   Bro-choice: Supporting abortion because it increases your chances of getting laid   (dailycaller.com ) divider line
    More: Obvious, University of Colorado at Boulder, male students, abortions, Caleb Bonham  
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6586 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Jul 2013 at 9:56 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-07-16 08:32:18 PM  
23 votes:
This is actually true. If you've never tried it before, you need to do this: Go up to the most attractive single woman in a bar, sit down next to her, lean in real close, and whisper in her ear the following: "I don't wear condoms, but don't worry, I'm pro-choice. Wanna bang a few out?" She'll be on you before you can blink. I swear to god this has worked so many times it's not even funny. You can buy her a drink if you want to, but it totally won't be necessary.
2013-07-16 08:34:17 PM  
11 votes:
images2.wikia.nocookie.net
2013-07-16 10:17:09 PM  
10 votes:
Totes true, bro. After lax prax one day my slampiece was givin' me dome, which was chill, but I wanted some pink. I told her if she got preggers we could see a bro of mine who knows a doc, get it set up. She was so hot for that she was chill. We even did it standing up, which like helps keep the swimmers down. I'm sensitive like that. Then she made me a sandwich, got me a Natty. So chill.
2013-07-16 09:59:44 PM  
8 votes:
i1.ytimg.com
2013-07-16 11:18:52 PM  
4 votes:

rmcooper4: This has me conflicted. On one hand, this video is another example of how terrible conservative humor is. On the other, it highlights the stupidity of bro-masculinity pretty darn well. Hmmm...


What did I ever do to you?
2013-07-16 10:53:52 PM  
3 votes:

thurstonxhowell: If you are attempting to bed a woman and the concept of abortion comes up in conversation, you have done something horribly, horribly wrong. Burn your pick up strategy to the ground and start again.


So you're saying "I bet we'd have beautiful babies...in the trash"--- is a bad pick up line?
2013-07-16 10:41:28 PM  
3 votes:

gweilo8888: cc_rider: Unintentional conservative humor is best the only conservative humor.

FTFY.


My Mom said I was an accident. Does that make me unintentional?
2013-07-16 10:08:46 PM  
3 votes:
I always just toss my one night stand chicks down a flight of stairs on their way out of the apartment...ye old abortion clinic style...
2013-07-16 10:07:21 PM  
3 votes:
Bro v. Wade: Getting laid without protection because fark it, that's what abortions are for.
2013-07-17 02:03:01 AM  
2 votes:
This actually works, guys. Before, when I was pro-life, I couldn't get a woman to sleep with me to save my life. Now since I've gone pro-choice, I'm rolling in bros, and I've got more cock than I can handle.
2013-07-17 01:38:46 AM  
2 votes:

LectertheChef: Bro choice? Really? Someone actually wants to make that a thing? Anybody who doesn't think that phrase is douchetastic needs to have their genitals eaten by rats.


That's kinda the whole point. Some genius decided the real way to win the culture war was to portray pro-choice feminist men as douchebag horndogs, The men who really respect women are the ones willing to just hold hands and stay pure until marriage. Because that's what women really want.

/Wha... Y-you don't want to marry me? I HOPE YOU GET CERVICAL CANCER, YOU SLUT.
2013-07-16 11:26:11 PM  
2 votes:

rmcooper4: You didn't get me a Power Wheel for Christmas 1990.

/bitter


Sorry about that. My buddy Glenn needed a hand with...um... unloading.... something from his trunk.
2013-07-16 11:14:11 PM  
2 votes:

Lando Lincoln: Post some conservative humor comics. Those are always a blast.


brandtstandard.files.wordpress.com

2013-07-16 10:15:35 PM  
2 votes:
from the comment section:

i42.tinypic.com
2013-07-16 10:01:48 PM  
2 votes:

Pocket Ninja: This is actually true. If you've never tried it before, you need to do this: Go up to the most attractive single woman in a bar, sit down next to her, lean in real close, and whisper in her ear the following: "I don't wear condoms, but don't worry, I'm pro-choice. Wanna bang a few out?" She'll be on you before you can blink. I swear to god this has worked so many times it's not even funny. You can buy her a drink if you want to, but it totally won't be necessary.


Pass this on to 5 friends and it'll totally come true this weekend at the bar!

/wink wink
2013-07-17 07:54:45 AM  
1 vote:

Alphax: Well, this is a weird troll thread.  And Supersized to the Main page, too.


wow.... almost as if... the main page is farking garbage?
2013-07-17 06:25:08 AM  
1 vote:

Lando Lincoln: Watching_Epoxy_Cure: I feel you may have got stung with that New Yorker jibe--do you want to share? You are among friends.

No, I don't want to share, I want to read some conservative humor. Let's see it.


What exactly constitutes conservative humor?  Just right-wingers cracking jokes in general, or specifically about politics, or only about something specific re: politics?

Because largely right-wing people tell the same jokes everyone else does, and it's funny about the same proportion of the time (i.e. 10%, in accordance with sturgeon's law).  Chicken crossing the road, dead baby, Obama's reading our e-mails, insert random meme here, etc.

As for political cartoons, none of them have ever been funny in the history of the comic strip.  Not once, not for any political alignment.  They're so lacking in humor that the Onion's fake strip is actually consistently funny just by making repeated jokes about how political cartoons aren't; that's how culturally ingrained political cartoons sucking is.

//Honestly most political humor that's actually funny doesn't really have a horse in the race, the speakers that are really attached tend to break down into rants, which are entertaining, but in a different way than actually being humorous.
2013-07-17 06:05:36 AM  
1 vote:

WhoopAssWayne: You know, if you really want fark to become a liberal circle-jerk like r/politics you're going to get exactly what you ask for drew/modmins.


i18.photobucket.com
It's a mean old world, Wayne.
2013-07-17 01:14:40 AM  
1 vote:
thepeoplescube.com
2013-07-17 01:09:53 AM  
1 vote:

LectertheChef: Bro choice? Really? Someone actually wants to make that a thing? Anybody who doesn't think that phrase is douchetastic needs to have their genitals eaten by rats.


As a bro-choice dude, I made my slampiece get an abortion after I went all Bro v. Wade on dat ass #totalfratmove
2013-07-17 12:51:32 AM  
1 vote:
That makes no sense. At all.

Why would anyone need to *lie* about being pro-choice in order to get laid? Seems like being pro-choice is part of being someone who enjoys sex, and understands the risks of (and solution to) an unwanted pregnancy.

That's like a vegan pretending to be "pro-meat" in order to get cheeseburger coupons.
2013-07-17 12:42:47 AM  
1 vote:

Duke_leto_Atredes: Iq test required for having kids
120 or above and finish at least a 2 year college degree. Or a trade school certificate.
Also permits for ten years of military service


Ladies and gentlemen... I give you Small Government Conservatism!
2013-07-17 12:34:28 AM  
1 vote:

Watching_Epoxy_Cure: Molavian: L Buff: Meanwhile ... Republican pickup lines:

[s3.amazonaws.com image 550x506]

That guy's hilarious!  Right up there with The New Yorker.

They are indeed on the bleeding edge of all those folks who enjoy thinking the exact same way about the important things.


He's no Mallard Fillmore that's for sure.
2013-07-17 12:08:09 AM  
1 vote:
images3.wikia.nocookie.net
2013-07-16 11:56:23 PM  
1 vote:

WhoopAssWayne: Flutie is rested and ready.


I would hope so. It's been 8 years or so since he last played.
2013-07-16 11:41:01 PM  
1 vote:
Shostie:

I love that sign because who else will right wing Christians ignore if there had been no Jesus?
2013-07-16 11:35:28 PM  
1 vote:
Prog-choice -- Pro-choice because it disproportionately reduces the birth rate of the Democrats' core constituency.
2013-07-16 11:16:38 PM  
1 vote:

WhoopAssWayne: Watching_Epoxy_Cure: You read reddit. /sorry.

Don't apologize. I'm just glad people are replying at all and I wasn't shadow-banned forever after my epic drunk the other night.


So you're used to reddit? Is that how it works over there?
2013-07-16 11:16:18 PM  
1 vote:

crasstalk.com

2013-07-16 11:06:54 PM  
1 vote:

WhoopAssWayne: Conservative Humor: What's r/politics?

Just assuming the sarcasm button is off, trying to be helpful, it's a default forum on reddit - http://www.reddit.com/r/politics


You read reddit.

/sorry.
2013-07-16 11:00:09 PM  
1 vote:

Molavian: L Buff: Meanwhile ... Republican pickup lines:

[s3.amazonaws.com image 550x506]

That guy's hilarious!  Right up there with The New Yorker.


Post some conservative humor comics. Those are always a blast.
2013-07-16 10:58:49 PM  
1 vote:
I always show potential dates my frequent abortion reward card and say "Don't worry, the next one's on the house."
2013-07-16 10:51:22 PM  
1 vote:
If you are attempting to bed a woman and the concept of abortion comes up in conversation, you have done something horribly, horribly wrong. Burn your pick up strategy to the ground and start again.
2013-07-16 10:51:11 PM  
1 vote:

zedster: from the comment section:

[i42.tinypic.com image 622x135]


i.qkme.me
2013-07-16 10:44:08 PM  
1 vote:

Conservative Humor: gweilo8888: cc_rider: Unintentional conservative humor is best the only conservative humor.

FTFY.

My Mom said I was an accident. Does that make me unintentional?


I told that b*tch to get an abortion.
2013-07-16 10:43:56 PM  
1 vote:

WhoopAssWayne: You know, if you really want fark to become a liberal circle-jerk like r/politics you're going to get exactly what you ask for drew/modmins.


I'm going to get cocaine, whisky, and loose wimmins?!??!?!?

Soooooo much better than Christmas.
2013-07-16 10:43:36 PM  
1 vote:
GOP: Being anti-abortion because your wife will cut you off if otherwise.
2013-07-16 10:43:18 PM  
1 vote:
Women like it when I tell them I want them to have my abortion.
2013-07-16 10:40:02 PM  
1 vote:
Silly me, I thought bro-choice was frat boys experimenting with homosexuality.
2013-07-16 10:39:19 PM  
1 vote:
Meanwhile ... Republican pickup lines:


s3.amazonaws.com
2013-07-16 10:37:34 PM  
1 vote:
He's not getting laid no matter how many popped collars he's got.
2013-07-16 10:25:46 PM  
1 vote:

theorellior: gweilo8888: You're too late, and trying too hard. Pocket Ninja already brought the funny, and now you just seem like the warm-up act who arrived after the show was over.

You're being harsh, bro. Pocket Ninja was using more of a generic young guy persona, I was going with a complete brodude characterization. I think they both complement and enhance each other.


Dude, I hate to harsh your bro-buzz or whatever but PocketNinja is not going to let you suck his cock.
2013-07-16 10:22:55 PM  
1 vote:

cc_rider: Unintentional conservative humor is best the only conservative humor.


FTFY.
2013-07-16 10:21:47 PM  
1 vote:

zedster: from the comment section:

[i42.tinypic.com image 622x135]



Unintentional conservative humor is best conservative humor.
2013-07-16 10:20:00 PM  
1 vote:

theorellior: Totes true, bro. After lax prax one day my slampiece was givin' me dome, which was chill, but I wanted some pink. I told her if she got preggers we could see a bro of mine who knows a doc, get it set up. She was so hot for that she was chill. We even did it standing up, which like helps keep the swimmers down. I'm sensitive like that. Then she made me a sandwich, got me a Natty. So chill.


You're too late, and trying too hard. Pocket Ninja already brought the funny, and now you just seem like the warm-up act who arrived after the show was over.
2013-07-16 10:16:52 PM  
1 vote:
I thought the article was going to be about a new slang term for the word gay.
2013-07-16 10:16:16 PM  
1 vote:
Is this kind of like how pro-life people only pretend to care about the child until it's born?
2013-07-16 10:16:12 PM  
1 vote:

GORDON: TheDirtyNacho: Its just simple math.  The majority of college age women (or american women in general, actually) are pro-choice.  For many in this set of women, it is a core belief - the opposite being a repulsor that decreases the chance they will have much to do with you.

So, if you want to increase the odds of getting laid, go with the majority.

Someone should venn diagram it for clarity.

95% of everything a man in his 20's does and says is in the pursuit of getting laid.  OF COURSE you say you are pro-choice.  Or even pro-life, if you are trying to bang that hot church girl.



True, one has to take into account local considerations.  If your set of potential lays is a bunch of church girls (and pretty conservative ones at that...) then a pro-life stance might be more effective.

It would be a good idea to broaden that set though, because that set would also probably want to marry you afterwards.
2013-07-16 10:16:00 PM  
1 vote:

Shostie: [images2.wikia.nocookie.net image 600x400]


Somebody else would've made up a story about a mythical Sky Daddy instead, and we'd all be worshipping (and fighting over) the Pasta, the Sauce, and the Holy Meatball?
2013-07-16 10:11:26 PM  
1 vote:
"cdn.semihuman.com
2013-07-16 10:10:23 PM  
1 vote:
Abortion? I avoid the potenital of pregnancy by only banging virgins, you know because you can't get pregnant the first time. Well that's what I hear and down here in Texas we don't have sex ed to done teach us no better.

/I'm 33 so I'm old enough that when I was in middle school and high school we actually had proper sexual education.
//the GOP retardation of my great state pains me
///the political flipping of Texas can't come quick enough
2013-07-16 10:09:44 PM  
1 vote:
What would happen the other way?

Potential hookup: "I gotta tell you, I'm pro-life and if I get pregnant, I'm going to have your child."

Ok, who's up for it?
2013-07-16 10:07:58 PM  
1 vote:
*shrug*

Can't be any worse than the common wisdom of "You should always go after moms, because you know they put out."
 
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