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(Des Moines Register)   Imagine how different The Lion King would have been if Mufasa had died from cancer, because that's exactly what happened at a Des Moines zoo   (desmoinesregister.com) divider line 60
    More: Sad, Blank Park Zoo, Des Moines, Des Moines zoo, Association of Zoos, zoos, cancers, Detroit Lions  
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3720 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Jul 2013 at 5:32 PM (39 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



60 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-07-16 05:14:09 PM
Simba would've immediately inherited the kingdom and nothing bad would happen

/The ciiiiiiiiiiiiiiircle of liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiife
//Also:

www.lily.fi
 
2013-07-16 05:35:09 PM
Ok, so how did Scar give him cancer, and how could Simba interpret as his fault?
 
2013-07-16 05:35:44 PM
And if Mufasa had a vagina.
 
2013-07-16 05:36:06 PM
So the evil Mexican hyenas took over the pen?
 
2013-07-16 05:37:40 PM
Hyenas laughing right in your face for being a bald lion.

/Hakuna Ma-chemo
 
2013-07-16 05:38:16 PM
Somebody fixes the cable?
 
2013-07-16 05:38:39 PM
There're were easily over a thousand hyenas in that movie and only about 2 dozen lions. Why'd they muck around with scar's plot and not just conquer the place?
 
2013-07-16 05:40:17 PM

weasil: Ok, so how did Scar give him cancer, and how could Simba interpret as his fault?


Simba stole his essence through intercourse suggested by scar.
 
2013-07-16 05:41:34 PM

Ned Stark: There're were easily over a thousand hyenas in that movie and only about 2 dozen lions. Why'd they muck around with scar's plot and not just conquer the place?


Also, the central theme of the story is: "Every form of life has a place and purpose, and all deserve respect.  Except for the hyenas, fark those guys."
 
2013-07-16 05:41:42 PM

weasil: Ok, so how did Scar give him cancer, and how could Simba interpret as his fault?


Scar was the cool lion in high school who got Mufasa to start smoking?
 
2013-07-16 05:42:09 PM
James Earl Jones died of cancer at a Des Moines zoo?
 
2013-07-16 05:45:41 PM
A tooma Mufasa?

what a horrible phrase.
 
2013-07-16 05:45:54 PM

ReverendJynxed: weasil: Ok, so how did Scar give him cancer, and how could Simba interpret as his fault?

Simba stole his essence through intercourse suggested by scar.


Loss of essence. I can assure you it has not recurred, Mandrake. Women, er, women sense my power, and they seek the life essence. I do not avoid women, Mandrake...but I do deny them my essence.
 
2013-07-16 05:50:01 PM
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-07-16 05:53:13 PM
It would have been a totally different movie because it would have been in a zoo?
 
2013-07-16 05:57:27 PM

Etchy333: Also, the central theme of the story is: "Every form of life has a place and purpose, and all deserve respect.  Except for the hyenas, fark those guys."


That's not such a bad lesson for kids. Life should be respected, and if we're going to make an exception, it should be for hyenas, the farked-up weirdo assholes of the animal kingdom.
 
2013-07-16 05:58:28 PM
Sex
 
2013-07-16 05:59:23 PM
My personal opinion -

People who support zoos, people who are senior management of zoos and the people who owns zoos need to be out in cages for ten years, fed scraps, get their 'medical care' when it's convenient and have their every mover scrutinized for amusement of the LoFo Voter. Oh, and they get to crap in public.

Let's see how  they like it. Go on, let's try  that for  while.
 
2013-07-16 06:00:05 PM
25.media.tumblr.com

It's not a lion!
 
2013-07-16 06:00:41 PM
Thank you submitter, I really had a good laugh at that headline.
 
2013-07-16 06:03:01 PM

Ned Stark: There're were easily over a thousand hyenas in that movie and only about 2 dozen lions. Why'd they muck around with scar's plot and not just conquer the place?


24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-07-16 06:03:38 PM
OK Subby, your headline made zero sense whatsoever, and I guess that's what is so brilliant about it.
 
2013-07-16 06:05:17 PM

Clemkadidlefark: My personal opinion -

People who support zoos, people who are senior management of zoos and the people who owns zoos need to be out in cages for ten years, fed scraps, get their 'medical care' when it's convenient and have their every mover scrutinized for amusement of the LoFo Voter. Oh, and they get to crap in public.

Let's see how  they like it. Go on, let's try  that for  while.


That's... That's the already premise of several reality gameshows.
 
2013-07-16 06:05:56 PM
www.starwarped.net

It's the CIIIIIIIIIIIIIRCLE of LIIIIIIIIIIIIFE...
 
2013-07-16 06:06:36 PM
"

Jekylman: Clemkadidlefark: My personal opinion -

People who support zoos, people who are senior management of zoos and the people who owns zoos need to be out in cages for ten years, fed scraps, get their 'medical care' when it's convenient and have their every mover scrutinized for amusement of the LoFo Voter. Oh, and they get to crap in public.

Let's see how  they like it. Go on, let's try  that for  while.

That's... That's the already premise of several reality gameshows.


"That's the already premise"? WTF am I typing?
 
2013-07-16 06:07:09 PM
who did what now?
 
2013-07-16 06:09:49 PM
*scans headline*

wallpaperpassion.com
 
2013-07-16 06:18:52 PM

Clemkadidlefark: My personal opinion -

People who support zoos, people who are senior management of zoos and the people who owns zoos need to be out in cages for ten years, fed scraps, get their 'medical care' when it's convenient and have their every mover scrutinized for amusement of the LoFo Voter. Oh, and they get to crap in public.

Let's see how  they like it. Go on, let's try  that for  while.


You want to send them to prison? Okay, but why?
 
2013-07-16 06:21:14 PM

ReverendJynxed: weasil: Ok, so how did Scar give him cancer, and how could Simba interpret as his fault?

Simba stole his essence through intercourse suggested by scar.


Maybe Scar was actually Harry Potter, and Simba was Voldemort, storing horcruxes in his enemies?
 
2013-07-16 06:23:06 PM

Jekylman: "Jekylman: Clemkadidlefark: My personal opinion -

People who support zoos, people who are senior management of zoos and the people who owns zoos need to be out in cages for ten years, fed scraps, get their 'medical care' when it's convenient and have their every mover scrutinized for amusement of the LoFo Voter. Oh, and they get to crap in public.

Let's see how  they like it. Go on, let's try  that for  while.

That's... That's the already premise of several reality gameshows.

"That's the already premise"? WTF am I typing?


Maybe you accidentally the whole thing.
 
2013-07-16 06:23:09 PM

Clemkadidlefark: My personal opinion -

People who support zoos, people who are senior management of zoos and the people who owns zoos need to be out in cages for ten years, fed scraps, get their 'medical care' when it's convenient and have their every mover scrutinized for amusement of the LoFo Voter. Oh, and they get to crap in public.

Let's see how  they like it. Go on, let's try  that for  while.


Depending on the animal it's not like being in the wild is any better.

We now release this rare northern white rhin... Oh, it's already been poached. Well, this is awkward *cough*.
 
2013-07-16 06:24:36 PM

semiotix: Etchy333: Also, the central theme of the story is: "Every form of life has a place and purpose, and all deserve respect.  Except for the hyenas, fark those guys."

That's not such a bad lesson for kids. Life should be respected, and if we're going to make an exception, it should be for hyenas, the farked-up weirdo assholes of the animal kingdom.


But, look how cute:

i.imgur.com
 
2013-07-16 06:26:50 PM
If a bear gets cancer in the woods.....does anyone start up a collection?
 
2013-07-16 06:29:28 PM
Yet another heartbreaking example of how African Americans are oppressed victims of discrimination, deprived of access to basic healthcare.


/So much for "Change We Can Believe In"
 
2013-07-16 06:36:11 PM
In the zoo, the mighty zoo
The lion dies tonight
In the zoo the quiet zoo
The lion dies tonight
 
2013-07-16 06:47:10 PM
pimpmybricks.files.wordpress.com

/RIP
 
2013-07-16 06:51:04 PM
If only the Lion had obamacare health insurance. Won't someone think of the cubs?
 
2013-07-16 07:03:50 PM
ts3.mm.bing.net

Wondering where the lions are.
 
2013-07-16 07:04:32 PM

Clemkadidlefark: My personal opinion -

People who support zoos, people who are senior management of zoos and the people who owns zoos need to be out in cages for ten years, fed scraps, get their 'medical care' when it's convenient and have their every mover scrutinized for amusement of the LoFo Voter. Oh, and they get to crap in public.

Let's see how  they like it. Go on, let's try  that for  while.


So, basically work in a cube farm?
 
2013-07-16 07:15:48 PM

mbillips: So, basically work in a cube farm?


Or teaching.
 
2013-07-16 07:46:20 PM
it's the nitrates in the water!

or, you know, the beast wished it on himself 'cause death is preferable to getting stared at by kids from ankeny all day
 
2013-07-16 07:51:19 PM
Hasa diga eebowai
 
2013-07-16 08:25:30 PM

Jekylman: "Jekylman: Clemkadidlefark: My personal opinion -

People who support zoos, people who are senior management of zoos and the people who owns zoos need to be out in cages for ten years, fed scraps, get their 'medical care' when it's convenient and have their every mover scrutinized for amusement of the LoFo Voter. Oh, and they get to crap in public.

Let's see how  they like it. Go on, let's try  that for  while.

That's... That's the already premise of several reality gameshows.

"That's the already premise"? WTF am I typing?


Maybe you don't type so good while your mover is being scrutinized.
 
2013-07-16 08:31:47 PM

Amos Quito: Yet another heartbreaking example of how African Americans are oppressed victims of discrimination, deprived of access to basic healthcare.


/So much for "Change We Can Believe In"


OK, that's actually funny and also clever and even subtle.

Thanks for TF btw!
 
2013-07-16 08:32:42 PM
Sad news for me - have pics of my kids watching the lions there.  Have one where she's asleep with a paw pressed on the glass of the observation area, and my son has his hand pressed on the other side.

/Nice little zoo there.
//But our new home zoo just had Panda twins
///So we got that going for us
 
2013-07-16 09:04:14 PM
UM this was a female lion who died of breast cancer- so why aren't we asking what if NALA died? farking sexists.

Anyway, I don't see how this is sad because she was 16, normal age for a lion to die in captivity. Plus when they have a limited breeding pool for animals being bred in captivity stuff like cancer is more likely. That said, lions in the wild that die from habitat destruction aren't gonna live long enough to get cancer anyway.

I think I might be going crazy because I'm starting to question animals in captivity. Like, seems fine to keep Giraffes in a zoo. Maybe just fine for elephants. Keeping dolphins or killer whales in captivity just to make money? fark no.
 
2013-07-16 09:09:50 PM

Clemkadidlefark: My personal opinion -

People who support zoos, people who are senior management of zoos and the people who owns zoos need to be out in cages for ten years, fed scraps, get their 'medical care' when it's convenient and have their every mover scrutinized for amusement of the LoFo Voter. Oh, and they get to crap in public.

Let's see how  they like it. Go on, let's try  that for  while.


Devil's advocate here:  Zoos actually do a lot to educate people about wildlife that they otherwise would not have access to.  Circuses are pretty farked up (they are generally a slightly upgraded throwback to Victorian times), and we shouldn't be surprised when a wild animal kills someone at a zoo (that's part of the risk of the job), but a world with zero zoos means generations of kids that don't give a crap about animals, science, and have an even more myopic view of the world.  The solution to LoFo voter is not to limit educational sources.
 
2013-07-16 09:14:29 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-07-16 10:12:34 PM
I remember when there was that whole 'Disney totally stole this story from some Japanese movie made in the 70s' thing.  I remember thinking umm... it's farking Hamlet ffs.
 
2013-07-16 10:51:09 PM

RatMaster999: Hasa diga eebowai


I love you
 
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