Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Think Progress)   Wisconsin Republican proposes amendment to state constitution that says fertilized eggs would be extended the rights of U.S. citizenship, 13 years faster than Mexicans   (thinkprogress.org) divider line 45
    More: Stupid, U.S. Citizenship, Mexico, U.S., constitutional amendments, Wisconsin, state constitution  
•       •       •

1519 clicks; posted to Politics » on 16 Jul 2013 at 6:21 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-07-16 03:54:19 PM  
8 votes:

James!: exick: James!: Hmm... so what is the law if a US Citizen takes up residence in your abdomen without your consent?

Stand your ground.

wxboy: James!: Hmm... so what is the law if a US Citizen takes up residence in your abdomen without your consent?

Stand your ground.

Ten seconds, guys.


Coincidentally, the average time it takes to make an anchor zygote.
2013-07-16 06:24:52 PM  
6 votes:
There's a sperm bank in Milwaukee that is now its own Congressional District
2013-07-16 03:52:29 PM  
6 votes:

James!: Hmm... so what is the law if a US Citizen takes up residence in your abdomen without your consent?


Stand your ground.
2013-07-16 03:42:23 PM  
6 votes:
Oh wow, that's great news, I created a path to citizenship with my wife just last night!
2013-07-16 05:21:16 PM  
5 votes:
Fetal Personhood, Corporate Personhood....

Pretty soon the only entities without personhood will be actual people.
2013-07-16 04:18:49 PM  
5 votes:
I would never have believed you if you had told me this morning I would go home tonight having heard the term "vaginal gerrymandering".
2013-07-16 04:13:08 PM  
4 votes:
I already love this thread. I want to give it a path to citizenship.
2013-07-16 03:50:25 PM  
4 votes:
Who knew the pathway to citizenship was a vagina?
2013-07-16 06:55:58 PM  
3 votes:
So I can carry a few zygotes in a cooler and use the car pool lane. Neat!
2013-07-16 06:24:57 PM  
3 votes:

jehovahs witness protection: They DO start learning English 12 yeas sooner.


Self-pwned
2013-07-16 06:22:39 PM  
3 votes:

jehovahs witness protection: They DO start learning English 12 yeas sooner.


This sentence is so perfect, I nearly died laughing.
2013-07-16 05:03:27 PM  
3 votes:

James!: Hmm... so what is the law if a US Citizen takes up residence in your abdomen without your consent?


With all the Planned Parenthoods closing down, this may give me an opening for new business idea:  Deportation Clinics.
2013-07-16 03:59:58 PM  
3 votes:
Great, these zygotes are going to get citizenship, which means the right to vote, and the next thing you know they'll be voting Democrat and the GOP will have to gerrymander your vaginas.
2013-07-16 09:29:38 PM  
2 votes:
Look at all those other fundamental rights fetuses can make great use of:

Speech: well known orators, all fetuses are known for their particularly complex and well-formed opinions.
Press: Did you know that Fox News determines the content of their story by the kicks of fetuses?  You do now!
Assembly: I cannot count the number of times I've seen a zygote out for a stroll to visit friends.
Religion: Sometimes you even have to stuff an islamic prayer mat up in there for the little guys.
Petition for redress of grievances: over 30% of change.org petitions are started before birth!
Right to bear arms: an organized militia of blastocysts saved my life on 3 separate occasions.
Quartering soldiers: I'm given to understand that the military never stores its members in wombs that don't want them.  Ever!
Unreasonable search and seizure: the multitude of private documents and private property that a fetus can earn by 3 months is astounding.
Right against self-incrimination: I've heard that cops would be willing to torture the barest beginnings of a central nervous system to extract a confession were it not for this right.

You know what, I think I've made my point.  There aren't any rights that fetuses can make use of because they're not people.
2013-07-16 06:51:02 PM  
2 votes:
Everyone knows life begins the moment you unhook the bra.
2013-07-16 05:12:29 PM  
2 votes:
"Citizen Zygote" would be a great name for a rock band.
2013-07-16 03:55:19 PM  
2 votes:

exick: James!: Hmm... so what is the law if a US Citizen takes up residence in your abdomen without your consent?

Stand your ground gonad.


FTFY.
2013-07-16 03:53:39 PM  
2 votes:

exick: James!: Hmm... so what is the law if a US Citizen takes up residence in your abdomen without your consent?

Stand your ground.


wxboy: James!: Hmm... so what is the law if a US Citizen takes up residence in your abdomen without your consent?

Stand your ground.


Ten seconds, guys.
2013-07-16 03:53:14 PM  
2 votes:
10 seconds too slow.
2013-07-16 03:52:39 PM  
2 votes:

James!: Hmm... so what is the law if a US Citizen takes up residence in your abdomen without your consent?


Stand your ground.
2013-07-16 03:49:50 PM  
2 votes:

kxs401: Guess you couldn't deport a pregnant illegal immigrant.


Anchor zygotes.
2013-07-17 08:26:13 AM  
1 votes:
Sometimes two eggs will get fertilizer but one will get larger quicker and absorb the sibling and later one fetus will kill another. Are they going to start slapping cuff on kids when they are born and arrest them on manslaughter charges.
2013-07-17 01:45:53 AM  
1 votes:

Lochsteppe: Gyrfalcon: kosherkow: so, if there is a miscarriage, does this become a homicide investigation?

/does the fetus receive an ID card, SSN... there are so many questions.
//can i drive alone in the carpool lane with pregrnant??

What about eggs and sperm? Are potential people enough to get you a pass for the HOV lane??

They'd have to change the signage: HOV LANE 250,000,000+ ONLY


That's discriminatory against us who have had a hot laptop and cheetoh dust pressed up against our genitals for several years.
2013-07-16 09:27:27 PM  
1 votes:
shiat, I just created a path to citizenship in my pants . . . at least, half a path.
2013-07-16 08:53:06 PM  
1 votes:

Jgok: If a fertilized egg is a person, what do we do when that egg implants itself in the wrong place?


Send in a SWAT team to break up the hostage situation.
2013-07-16 08:39:33 PM  
1 votes:

DamnYankees: In all seriousness, would this mean that all people conceived in the US are now citizens? So the people who hate anchor babies now want to basically let immigrants have anchor sex?


Wait till I start suing Republicans for violating the civil rights of all those fertilized eggs every time they pass another law cutting welfare benefits for children (SNAP, WIC) or making it harder for pregnant women to get prenatal healthcare (on behalf of the eggs inside of them).

After all, if an egg has rights, then it has rights to those benefits, and standing to sue for them in court--or for someone to sue on their behalf. Someone needs to look into that. Like with Citizens United, the Republicans could be opening the can of worms that will cut their own throat.
2013-07-16 07:22:36 PM  
1 votes:
They'll have 2nd Amendment rights, too, I presume?

cdn.thedailybeast.com
2013-07-16 07:00:51 PM  
1 votes:

jst3p: Everyone knows life begins the moment you unhook the bra.


Well, for me it did.
2013-07-16 06:40:23 PM  
1 votes:

MaudlinMutantMollusk: I just can't understand why women aren't more upset about the crap that's been happening lately

/because I think they could do something about it immediately if they did


They could shut it all down.
2013-07-16 06:34:25 PM  
1 votes:
4.bp.blogspot.com

"See, the really hardcore people will tell you life begins at fertilization. Fertilization, when the sperm fertilizes the egg. Which is usually a few moments after the man says "Gee, honey, I was going to pull out but the phone rang and it startled me."But even after the egg is fertilized, it's still six or seven days before it reaches the uterus and pregnancy begins. And not every egg makes it that far. Eighty percent of a woman's fertilized eggs are rinsed and flushed out of her body once a month during those delightful few days she has. They wind up on sanitary napkins, and yet they are fertilized eggs. So basically what these anti-abortion people are telling us is that any woman who's had more than more than one period is a serial killer!"
2013-07-16 06:27:38 PM  
1 votes:
It's what Jesus would have wanted
2013-07-16 06:25:20 PM  
1 votes:

jehovahs witness protection: They DO start learning English 12 yeas sooner.



Screen cap time.
2013-07-16 06:17:29 PM  
1 votes:
They DO start learning English 12 yeas sooner.
2013-07-16 06:10:39 PM  
1 votes:
GOP -- That little toddler sister who stands behind mom's dress and points her finger when you're in trouble for something:

Bad! You're bad, you're bad, and YOU'RE bad! Bad, bad, bad!

Punish, punish, punish! No-no-no!

You're bad. Very bad. I get to punish you. Punish, punish. Bad, bad, bad.
2013-07-16 05:40:46 PM  
1 votes:

Lorelle: Diogenes: Fetal Personhood, Corporate Personhood....

Pretty soon the only entities without personhood will be actual people.

The GOP has already decided that women are nothing more than incubators.


I thought they made sandwiches too.
2013-07-16 05:16:14 PM  
1 votes:

Trivia Jockey: Jackson Herring: Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) said that an amendment to a US immigration bill would cause your mother's vagina to have the "most militarized border" since the Berlin Wall came down in 1989.

I made a run for your mom's border last night.


Minute Men takes on a whole new meaning.
2013-07-16 05:15:22 PM  
1 votes:

ariseatex: vernonFL: Republican logic:

Deserves full protection under the law

Do NOT deserve full protection under the law.

Those two will just have to keep farking until they make a zygote to protect then.


Challenge accepted!
2013-07-16 05:14:49 PM  
1 votes:

Jackson Herring: Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) said that an amendment to a US immigration bill would cause your mother's vagina to have the "most militarized border" since the Berlin Wall came down in 1989.


I made a run for your mom's border last night.
2013-07-16 05:14:33 PM  
1 votes:

vernonFL: Republican logic:



Deserves full protection under the law



Do NOT deserve full protection under the law.


Those two will just have to keep farking until they make a zygote to protect then.
2013-07-16 05:12:52 PM  
1 votes:
Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) said that an amendment to a US immigration bill would cause your mother's vagina to have the "most militarized border" since the Berlin Wall came down in 1989.
2013-07-16 05:07:30 PM  
1 votes:
In all seriousness, would this mean that all people conceived in the US are now citizens? So the people who hate anchor babies now want to basically let immigrants have anchor sex?
2013-07-16 04:10:01 PM  
1 votes:
Will doctors have to read the Miranda warnings to a woman's abdomen before an abortion?
2013-07-16 03:51:21 PM  
1 votes:
Hmm... so what is the law if a US Citizen takes up residence in your abdomen without your consent?
2013-07-16 03:48:30 PM  
1 votes:
That could also make any baby conceived in this country a citizen, regardless of the origin of the parents.
Anchor Zygotes!
2013-07-16 03:45:58 PM  
1 votes:
Guess you couldn't deport a pregnant illegal immigrant.
 
Displayed 45 of 45 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report