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(Think Progress)   Wisconsin Republican proposes amendment to state constitution that says fertilized eggs would be extended the rights of U.S. citizenship, 13 years faster than Mexicans   (thinkprogress.org) divider line 137
    More: Stupid, U.S. Citizenship, Mexico, U.S., constitutional amendments, Wisconsin, state constitution  
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1517 clicks; posted to Politics » on 16 Jul 2013 at 6:21 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



137 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-07-16 05:52:09 PM  
I am going to adopt a massive collection of zygotes and then write them all off as dependents on my taxes.
 
2013-07-16 06:10:39 PM  
GOP -- That little toddler sister who stands behind mom's dress and points her finger when you're in trouble for something:

Bad! You're bad, you're bad, and YOU'RE bad! Bad, bad, bad!

Punish, punish, punish! No-no-no!

You're bad. Very bad. I get to punish you. Punish, punish. Bad, bad, bad.
 
2013-07-16 06:17:29 PM  
They DO start learning English 12 yeas sooner.
 
2013-07-16 06:22:39 PM  

jehovahs witness protection: They DO start learning English 12 yeas sooner.


This sentence is so perfect, I nearly died laughing.
 
2013-07-16 06:24:38 PM  
So would frozen fertilized eggs be classified as enemy combatants so we could "legally" detain them indefinitely?
 
2013-07-16 06:24:52 PM  
There's a sperm bank in Milwaukee that is now its own Congressional District
 
2013-07-16 06:24:57 PM  

jehovahs witness protection: They DO start learning English 12 yeas sooner.


Self-pwned
 
2013-07-16 06:25:20 PM  

jehovahs witness protection: They DO start learning English 12 yeas sooner.



Screen cap time.
 
2013-07-16 06:26:01 PM  

DamnYankees: In all seriousness, would this mean that all people conceived in the US are now citizens? So the people who hate anchor babies now want to basically let immigrants have anchor sex?


That does sound like the case. This sounds like the poster zygote for the Law of Unintended Consequences.
 
2013-07-16 06:27:38 PM  
It's what Jesus would have wanted
 
2013-07-16 06:31:50 PM  
We're going to need to adjust our laws regarding slavery and kidnapping if all pregnant women are now holding American citizens against their will.
 
2013-07-16 06:34:25 PM  
4.bp.blogspot.com

"See, the really hardcore people will tell you life begins at fertilization. Fertilization, when the sperm fertilizes the egg. Which is usually a few moments after the man says "Gee, honey, I was going to pull out but the phone rang and it startled me."But even after the egg is fertilized, it's still six or seven days before it reaches the uterus and pregnancy begins. And not every egg makes it that far. Eighty percent of a woman's fertilized eggs are rinsed and flushed out of her body once a month during those delightful few days she has. They wind up on sanitary napkins, and yet they are fertilized eggs. So basically what these anti-abortion people are telling us is that any woman who's had more than more than one period is a serial killer!"
 
2013-07-16 06:35:25 PM  
This kind of shiat is always going to fail from a simple practical perspective: a fertilized ovum don't always or even usually implant and grow in a natural pregnancy, and IVF (which involves fertilizing several ova and removing the less viable ones) is a very popular method of family planning for couples with low fertility.

Or, in short, this hurts people that  want to have children a lot more than those that don't.  People that don't want to have children are only harmed in irregular circumstances like condom failure, rape, and so on.  People that are trying to have kids are now murderers every time they're having unprotected sex and the woman still gets her period, and aren't allowed to use fertility-boosting methods to have kids.

Implementation of these kinds of things would last about as long as it takes those things to sink in, if even that.
 
2013-07-16 06:38:28 PM  
Damn Yankees: In all seriousness, would this mean that all people conceived in the US are now citizens? So the people who hate anchor babies now want to basically let immigrants have anchor sex?


I suspect this is a GOP effort to link immigrants (whose vote they need) and their assumed "greater fertility rates" to the end goal of making all fetuses "human" with "rights" (ie - no abortion for you, ever)

call me cynical
 
2013-07-16 06:40:23 PM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: I just can't understand why women aren't more upset about the crap that's been happening lately

/because I think they could do something about it immediately if they did


They could shut it all down.
 
2013-07-16 06:42:12 PM  
Back before I instituted a complete ban on any discussion of abortion in any of my classes, I would occasionally bring this up as an example of a ridiculous, nonsensical consequence of the concept of fetal personhood.

I'm ecstatic that the Republicans have stooped to that level.  Just makes them look stupider.  Hillary Clinton is going to have a farking FIELD day with these idiots, during her entire 8 year tenure as President.
 
2013-07-16 06:44:40 PM  
FTA Wisconsin Rep. Andre Jacque (R) is proposing an amendment to the state constitution that would extend all the rights of U.S. citizenship to fertilized eggs. The amendment stipulates that "the terms 'people' and 'person' shall apply to every human being at any stage of development."

This clown is fishing for campaign money from the anti-choice kooks.
 
2013-07-16 06:45:48 PM  

Jim_Callahan: IVF (which involves fertilizing several ova and removing the less viable ones) is a very popular method of family planning for couples with low fertility.


But if God had wanted those couples to have children, they would have them. Just look at Abraham and Sarah!
/runs
 
2013-07-16 06:47:52 PM  
I can't understand the point of this.  Abortion will still be protected under the constitution, but in the meantime, the cops will likely have to investigate any miscarriage that comes to their attention just in case it's murder.
 
2013-07-16 06:51:02 PM  
Everyone knows life begins the moment you unhook the bra.
 
2013-07-16 06:52:08 PM  
Did I miss the vote that granted Wisconsin's government overriding authority over matters of United States citizenship?
 
2013-07-16 06:52:10 PM  

Lorelle: grokca: Lorelle: Diogenes: Fetal Personhood, Corporate Personhood....

Pretty soon the only entities without personhood will be actual people.

The GOP has already decided that women are nothing more than incubators.

I thought they made sandwiches too.

Not while incubating. Risk of miscarriage, you know.


I think you meant involuntary manslaughter, under this bill.
 
2013-07-16 06:55:58 PM  
So I can carry a few zygotes in a cooler and use the car pool lane. Neat!
 
2013-07-16 06:59:41 PM  
Hey baby, how would you like to go generate a tax credit?
 
2013-07-16 07:00:51 PM  

jst3p: Everyone knows life begins the moment you unhook the bra.


Well, for me it did.
 
2013-07-16 07:01:49 PM  
I've got a half dozen frozen embryos, they cost $500/year to keep. I was going to destroy them, but now I get a child deduction for each, that's a net profit.
 
2013-07-16 07:02:54 PM  
Service guarantees citizenship
i96.photobucket.com
/yes please
 
2013-07-16 07:07:10 PM  

Diogenes: Fetal Personhood, Corporate Personhood....

Pretty soon the only entities without personhood will be actual people.


Just the way Republican Jesus intended
 
2013-07-16 07:07:47 PM  

Diogenes: Trivia Jockey: Jackson Herring: Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) said that an amendment to a US immigration bill would cause your mother's vagina to have the "most militarized border" since the Berlin Wall came down in 1989.

I made a run for your mom's border last night.

Minute Men takes on a whole new meaning.


A minute? What's your secret, man?
 
2013-07-16 07:09:33 PM  

Nuclear Monk: Service guarantees citizenship
[i96.photobucket.com image 260x294]
/yes please


"service"
 
2013-07-16 07:22:36 PM  
They'll have 2nd Amendment rights, too, I presume?

cdn.thedailybeast.com
 
2013-07-16 07:25:10 PM  
Does that mean that if a fertilized egg is frozen for 3 years before implantation, then the resulting human can legally vote 15 years after his/her birth?
 
2013-07-16 07:27:18 PM  
The Supremacy Clause, how the fark does that work?
 
2013-07-16 07:45:04 PM  
I'm going to fertilize dozens of eggs, freeze them, declare them dependents, and then write them off on tax forms.
 
2013-07-16 07:53:19 PM  
Once again, I find myself bringing up ectopic pregnancies.

If a fertilized egg is a person, what do we do when that egg implants itself in the wrong place? Failing to treat the condition almost certainly (98%-99% chance) results in death for both the fetus and the mother, but the only truly effective treatment is to abort the fetus either chemically or surgically. The only chance of a successful delivery is if the egg implanted itself in the abdomen, and even that often results in the death of the mother (usually due to hemorrhage before the fetus is even viable, or extreme bleeding when the placenta is removed).

The rate of ectopic pregancy is around 2%, and there are about 6.7 million pregnancies per year.in the U.S. That's around 134,000 cases per year where the choice is to either kill the fetus or let both fetus and mother die. As long as abortion is legal, it's a fairly simple decision... Terminate the pregnancy and save the mother.  As soon as abortion is made illegal, it becomes significantly more difficult than it should be.

Technically, the treatment for an ectopic pregnancy is an abortion. Realistically, the fetus has almost no chance of surviving, but I seem to remember a recent case where a woman with cancer was denied treatment because it might harm the fetus... so they both died.
 
2013-07-16 08:06:24 PM  
States can't determine US citizenship.

End of story.
 
2013-07-16 08:16:53 PM  

ariseatex: Those two will just have to keep farking until they make a zygote to protect then.


What I expect much sooner is for scientists to be able to convert adult stem cells into sperm cells, irregardless of the sex of the stem cell donor.  Imagine when lesbian couples can father each others' children.

Wrap you head around that.
 
2013-07-16 08:25:07 PM  
Without reading the article I'm going to guess Grothman or Lazich...

/Jacque
//The darkhorse come in and closed down the stretch
 
2013-07-16 08:28:24 PM  
They're gonna demand a fence be built in front of all vaginas.

OUCH
 
2013-07-16 08:39:33 PM  

DamnYankees: In all seriousness, would this mean that all people conceived in the US are now citizens? So the people who hate anchor babies now want to basically let immigrants have anchor sex?


Wait till I start suing Republicans for violating the civil rights of all those fertilized eggs every time they pass another law cutting welfare benefits for children (SNAP, WIC) or making it harder for pregnant women to get prenatal healthcare (on behalf of the eggs inside of them).

After all, if an egg has rights, then it has rights to those benefits, and standing to sue for them in court--or for someone to sue on their behalf. Someone needs to look into that. Like with Citizens United, the Republicans could be opening the can of worms that will cut their own throat.
 
2013-07-16 08:40:08 PM  

REO-Weedwagon: FTA Wisconsin Rep. Andre Jacque (R) is proposing an amendment to the state constitution that would extend all the rights of U.S. citizenship to fertilized eggs. The amendment stipulates that "the terms 'people' and 'person' shall apply to every human being at any stage of development."

This clown is fishing for campaign money from the anti-choice kooks.


He's so far in Pro-Life's pocket it's not even funny; this is him earning his funding for next year's election.
 
2013-07-16 08:53:06 PM  

Jgok: If a fertilized egg is a person, what do we do when that egg implants itself in the wrong place?


Send in a SWAT team to break up the hostage situation.
 
2013-07-16 08:57:28 PM  

PirateKing: Jgok: If a fertilized egg is a person, what do we do when that egg implants itself in the wrong place?

Send in a SWAT team to break up the hostage situation.


OK, that made me laugh more than it should have.
 
2013-07-16 09:04:57 PM  
FTFA: They point out that an unconstitutional personhood amendment would invite expensive legal battles.

So they're arguing that it should not be pursued because a legal battle would be expensive. Well how about not doing it because it would be farking unconstitutional?
 
2013-07-16 09:05:28 PM  
What happens when a plane flies into one of the fetal citizen states? Does the FAA suddenly have to fine the airline for being over-crowded?

Fire regulations for buildings will be a mess.
 
2013-07-16 09:08:41 PM  

Witty_Retort: What happens when a plane flies into one of the fetal citizen states? Does the FAA suddenly have to fine the airline for being over-crowded?

Fire regulations for buildings will be a mess.


It's going to wreak havoc on all you can eat buffet rules.
 
2013-07-16 09:09:44 PM  
Conservatism: having more respect for unborn human life than sentient humans
 
2013-07-16 09:09:57 PM  

Weaver95: I just don't understand the GOP anymore.  if they really gave a damn about kids, they'd make sure health care and federal food programs were well funded.  ditto for schools and job training for when they graduate.  instead the focus is on making sure abortion is illegal, women have little or no access to affordable health care and 2 min after the kid is born nobody with an 'R' after their name gives a damn about you.  But hey - save the fetus, right?


Yeah, pretty much. And this is from the party that's always biatching about intrusive government regulations.
 
2013-07-16 09:20:59 PM  

Gyrfalcon: PirateKing: Jgok: If a fertilized egg is a person, what do we do when that egg implants itself in the wrong place?

Send in a SWAT team to break up the hostage situation.

OK, that made me laugh more than it should have.


Definitely. Soda should not exit through nostrils.

/does the egg have "Stand Your Ground" rights?
 
2013-07-16 09:24:11 PM  

Weaver95: I just don't understand the GOP anymore.  if they really gave a damn about kids, they'd make sure health care and federal food programs were well funded.  ditto for schools and job training for when they graduate.  instead the focus is on making sure abortion is illegal, women have little or no access to affordable health care and 2 min after the kid is born nobody with an 'R' after their name gives a damn about you.  But hey - save the fetus, right?


Yeah, I don't get it either. This is the most retarded thing I have heard in a while, and in Wisconsin that is saying a lot
 
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