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(Celebslam)   Katy Perry wants John Mayer to delete all of his ex-girlfriends' numbers. And no more texting them. And take her out on dates. Basically, stop acting like John Mayer   (celebslam.celebuzz.com) divider line 107
    More: Unlikely, Katy Perry, NOC  
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3446 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 16 Jul 2013 at 11:54 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-07-16 10:36:09 AM
Isn't this the same genius who thought she could settle Russell Brand down?
 
2013-07-16 10:43:55 AM
As you're reading this John Mayer has the girls from the "Blurred Lines" video competing via lingerie pillowfight to determine who gets to be the North Spire in the Reverse Suspension Bridge. The ringer on his phone is off so he cannot hear the 384 calls and 2,901 texts Katy Perry has sent since the first feather spill.
 
2013-07-16 10:46:57 AM
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-07-16 11:54:46 AM
Sure, when I do it I'm The Whore of Babylon but when John Mayer does it it's just John Mayer being John Mayer.

Which come to think of it may be its own punishment.
 
2013-07-16 11:59:00 AM
So she's single again right?
 
2013-07-16 12:00:09 PM

Evil Mackerel: So she's single again right?


She's still nuts, dude.
 
2013-07-16 12:02:10 PM
Or Taylor Swift...
 
2013-07-16 12:08:25 PM
Sure he's a douche, but he's also a douche who has tagged some premium ass
 
2013-07-16 12:08:26 PM
But there's strength in numbers I thought?
What is this John person supposed to do if the Katy person unexpectedly vanishes?
Or if she explodes like a Ducati being rode backwards on one wheel by three 400 pound leather-clad donkey-farking SWAT guys?
Or how about some kids get this Katy person, smack her up with a wrench and she starts spouting all kinds of ham-infested bilge water like a damn fire hydrant, spraying down the whole street straight out of her ass with turgid brown water?
The John person will need someone to make his dick feel good, and if he has deleted all those numbers he might never get there again, and lord knows it's so god damn hard as fark when you're a single guy, hard like some kind of ass-farking tire iron.
That Katy person, if she really loves him and knowing that she's a simple mortal (I assume she is anyway) she'd let him keep all his numbers. But yeah, women and logic equals piss rainbows bouncing off the moon.
 
2013-07-16 12:10:51 PM
It's hard not to get all "Ha ha!" over desirable women who go out of their way to choose men programmed for infidelity.  God forbid you date a guy who cares only about you.  How boring would that be?

/sounds fat
//not really
///happily married
 
2013-07-16 12:10:52 PM

IdBeCrazyIf: Sure he's a douche, but he's also a douche who has tagged some premium ass


True but at the end of the day wouldn't you rather use your fame to be more like Timberlake?   Tag premium ass AND be viewed as one of the most awesome people in the public eye?
 
2013-07-16 12:15:17 PM

IdBeCrazyIf: Sure he's a douche, but he's also a douche who has tagged some premium ass


Is he really a douche though? We all agree Bieber is a douche, because he does douchebaggins shiat on a regular basis.

What has John Mayer ever done to warrant this label?
 
2013-07-16 12:30:00 PM
I'll be back when this thread is more relevant to my interests...
 
2013-07-16 12:32:22 PM

Cymbal: IdBeCrazyIf: Sure he's a douche, but he's also a douche who has tagged some premium ass

Is he really a douche though? We all agree Bieber is a douche, because he does douchebaggins shiat on a regular basis.

What has John Mayer ever done to warrant this label?


Cribbing from SRV's wardrobe certainly isn't helping him.
 
2013-07-16 12:34:09 PM

IdBeCrazyIf: Sure he's a douche, but he's also a douche who has tagged some premium ass


This. That premium ass he's nailed is why she's so worried, even though it's part of what attracted her to him.

My wife doesn't worry per se, but she knows it wouldn't take me long to 'replace her' but the same holds true for her. Since we both have 'options' it keeps us attentive. Also keeps her from turning into a frigid b**ch.

I told her when we got married: 'You're quit putting out, I'm going out.'
 
2013-07-16 12:35:14 PM

YoOjo: But there's strength in numbers I thought?
What is this John person supposed to do if the Katy person unexpectedly vanishes?
Or if she explodes like a Ducati being rode backwards on one wheel by three 400 pound leather-clad donkey-farking SWAT guys?
Or how about some kids get this Katy person, smack her up with a wrench and she starts spouting all kinds of ham-infested bilge water like a damn fire hydrant, spraying down the whole street straight out of her ass with turgid brown water?
The John person will need someone to make his dick feel good, and if he has deleted all those numbers he might never get there again, and lord knows it's so god damn hard as fark when you're a single guy, hard like some kind of ass-farking tire iron.
That Katy person, if she really loves him and knowing that she's a simple mortal (I assume she is anyway) she'd let him keep all his numbers. But yeah, women and logic equals piss rainbows bouncing off the moon.


wow. thats two threads in row you derped.
 
2013-07-16 12:35:56 PM

Cymbal: IdBeCrazyIf: Sure he's a douche, but he's also a douche who has tagged some premium ass

Is he really a douche though? We all agree Bieber is a douche, because he does douchebaggins shiat on a regular basis.

What has John Mayer ever done to warrant this label?


this. i mean, he seems to stay pretty much out of the limelight...relatively speaking. i never hear of him getting into fights or social media arguements. i really never hear him badmouthing anyone. as far as i know he's not a problem drug/alcohol abuser.  he is a highly educated musician with some mad chops. he plays a variety of styles. he's ugly as sin and gets high-end tail. i can't hate on the guy.

DoBeDoBeDo: IdBeCrazyIf: Sure he's a douche, but he's also a douche who has tagged some premium ass

True but at the end of the day wouldn't you rather use your fame to be more like Timberlake?   Tag premium ass AND be viewed as one of the most awesome people in the public eye?


and this. i TRIED to not like jt. i failed. he's too cool!
 
2013-07-16 12:38:41 PM

DoBeDoBeDo: True but at the end of the day wouldn't you rather use your fame to be more like Timberlake? Tag premium ass AND be viewed as one of the most awesome people in the public eye?


Awesome? But what about people who like GOOD music?
 
2013-07-16 12:39:00 PM

inglixthemad: IdBeCrazyIf: Sure he's a douche, but he's also a douche who has tagged some premium ass

This. That premium ass he's nailed is why she's so worried, even though it's part of what attracted her to him.

My wife doesn't worry per se, but she knows it wouldn't take me long to 'replace her' but the same holds true for her. Since we both have 'options' it keeps us attentive. Also keeps her from turning into a frigid b**ch.

I told her when we got married: 'You're quit putting out, I'm going out.'


she married you with that ego and that grammar? she's a keeper, dude! don't screw this up!
 
2013-07-16 12:39:33 PM

inglixthemad: I told her when we got married: 'You're quit putting out, I'm going out.'


At least she puts up with your engrish.
 
2013-07-16 12:42:30 PM

EyeballKid: DoBeDoBeDo: True but at the end of the day wouldn't you rather use your fame to be more like Timberlake? Tag premium ass AND be viewed as one of the most awesome people in the public eye?

Awesome? But what about people who like GOOD music?


wac.450f.edgecastcdn.net
 
2013-07-16 12:47:25 PM
As I told my wife when we got married, if you stop eating out, I'll keep fishing trout.
 
2013-07-16 12:56:35 PM
And I would like Ms Perry to remove her shirt and blow me.  We all want something lassie.
 
2013-07-16 12:59:27 PM

RoyHobbs22: And I would like Ms Perry to remove her shirt and blow me.  We all want something lassie.


greedy.  I'd settle for one or the other.
 
2013-07-16 01:01:04 PM
I'm also on board with the "I don't get why John Mayer gets called a douche" train.

The guy is ultra-talented.  HE'S PLAYED WITH THE FRIGGING ROLLING STONES.  If you are a guitarist and can hold your own against Keith Richards, you get mad props.

Also, in Philly for the Fourth of July, he played a great set with Questlove as his drummer.
 
2013-07-16 01:01:53 PM
That poor John Mayer must be so lonely.
 
2013-07-16 01:05:01 PM

bungle_jr: inglixthemad: IdBeCrazyIf: Sure he's a douche, but he's also a douche who has tagged some premium ass

This. That premium ass he's nailed is why she's so worried, even though it's part of what attracted her to him.

My wife doesn't worry per se, but she knows it wouldn't take me long to 'replace her' but the same holds true for her. Since we both have 'options' it keeps us attentive. Also keeps her from turning into a frigid b**ch.

I told her when we got married: 'You're quit putting out, I'm going out.'

she married you with that ego and that grammar? she's a keeper, dude! don't screw this up!


lol after I read his comment, I checked his profile. Overly wordy with no pic?  gave me the douche chills.
 
2013-07-16 01:05:04 PM
I would fu*k him so hard, then tell everyone about it. He is HOT. He is TALENTED. And he screwed Jessica simpson so you know he does some freaky sh*t.
 
2013-07-16 01:06:10 PM
As I told my wife as I got married, if you quit looking out, I'll begin to shout.
 
2013-07-16 01:08:07 PM

MattyFridays: I'm also on board with the "I don't get why John Mayer gets called a douche" train.

The guy is ultra-talented.  HE'S PLAYED WITH THE FRIGGING ROLLING STONES.  If you are a guitarist and can hold your own against Keith Richards, you get mad props.

Also, in Philly for the Fourth of July, he played a great set with Questlove as his drummer.


I don't think John Mayer is a douche, but I think people that like his music are at higher risk for contracting douchiness.
 
2013-07-16 01:14:09 PM

inglixthemad: IdBeCrazyIf: Sure he's a douche, but he's also a douche who has tagged some premium ass

This. That premium ass he's nailed is why she's so worried, even though it's part of what attracted her to him.

My wife doesn't worry per se, but she knows it wouldn't take me long to 'replace her' but the same holds true for her. Since we both have 'options' it keeps us attentive. Also keeps her from turning into a frigid b**ch.

I told her when we got married: 'You're quit putting out, I'm going out.'


What's going to be hilarious is when this guy's rock-solid marriage finally does collapse in 8-10 years, and he immediately "hits the town" to go trollin' for some premium tail....only to find that all of the sudden he's the creepy 35-year-old in the bar that everyone is laughing at.
 
2013-07-16 01:16:44 PM
As I told my wife when we got married, if the gloves don't fit, you must acquit.
 
2013-07-16 01:17:27 PM

Esc7: MattyFridays: I'm also on board with the "I don't get why John Mayer gets called a douche" train.

The guy is ultra-talented.  HE'S PLAYED WITH THE FRIGGING ROLLING STONES.  If you are a guitarist and can hold your own against Keith Richards, you get mad props.

Also, in Philly for the Fourth of July, he played a great set with Questlove as his drummer.

I don't think John Mayer is a douche, but I think people that like his music are at higher risk for contracting douchiness.


He's a good musician and douche as a person.  They are not mutually exclusive.  It's like Floyd Mayweather Jr.  Probably the best boxer of his generation, also one of the biggest douches of his generation.  Just got to separate their personal actions from their professional talent.
 
2013-07-16 01:22:00 PM

MattyFridays: I'm also on board with the "I don't get why John Mayer gets called a douche" train.

The guy is ultra-talented.  HE'S PLAYED WITH THE FRIGGING ROLLING STONES.  If you are a guitarist and can hold your own against Keith Richards, you get mad props.

Also, in Philly for the Fourth of July, he played a great set with Questlove as his drummer.


The reasons he gets called a douche have nothing to do with his music.
 
2013-07-16 01:23:40 PM
She's right... he SHOULD do that for his girlfriend... However, she, specifically, is not worth doing that.
 
2013-07-16 01:25:07 PM
i.qkme.me
 
2013-07-16 01:25:33 PM

jayhawk88: What's going to be hilarious is when this guy's rock-solid marriage finally does collapse in 8-10 years, and he immediately "hits the town" to go trollin' for some premium tail....only to find that all of the sudden he's the creepy 35-year-old in the bar that everyone is laughing at.


Why, yes, the only woman he could possibly find is a younger lady with daddy issues, and lord knows that is a rare  woman. In case you can't tell, I'm rolling my eyes as I type this.
 
2013-07-16 01:25:35 PM
Why don't they just marry normal people?
 
2013-07-16 01:25:46 PM

T.rex: She's right... he SHOULD do that for his girlfriend... However, she, specifically, is not worth doing that.


If she's someone you intend to spend the rest of your life with, she's worth doing that. The end.
 
2013-07-16 01:27:20 PM
Nut in her mouth and bail, John Mayer! With like 300 million sperm flying in there you can always smile and know that there will always be one left hanging out in there. Even if it's just a little skeleton stuck between her teeth.
 
2013-07-16 01:27:53 PM

Gosling: T.rex: She's right... he SHOULD do that for his girlfriend... However, she, specifically, is not worth doing that.

If she's someone you intend to spend the rest of your life with, she's worth doing that. The end.


i agree... .i'm just saying Kate Perry is not that 'she', particularly for someone of Mayer's stature.
 
2013-07-16 01:28:33 PM

Klippoklondike: Esc7: MattyFridays: I'm also on board with the "I don't get why John Mayer gets called a douche" train.

The guy is ultra-talented.  HE'S PLAYED WITH THE FRIGGING ROLLING STONES.  If you are a guitarist and can hold your own against Keith Richards, you get mad props.

Also, in Philly for the Fourth of July, he played a great set with Questlove as his drummer.

I don't think John Mayer is a douche, but I think people that like his music are at higher risk for contracting douchiness.

He's a good musician and douche as a person.  They are not mutually exclusive.  It's like Floyd Mayweather Jr.  Probably the best boxer of his generation, also one of the biggest douches of his generation.  Just got to separate their personal actions from their professional talent.


Again, why is he a douche? Can you back this up with specifics?

Like countless others, he gets the douche label because folks are envious of him for any number of reasons.
 
2013-07-16 01:31:26 PM
If I had nailed the kind of A-list pussy John Mayer has, the "bar" a woman would have to meet to be my one & only would be so absurdly high as to be only theoretically possible.  We're talking asian ninja porn meets one-woman roman orgy meets chains & whips.  Every goddamned night.
 
2013-07-16 01:35:00 PM

Lexx: If I had nailed the kind of A-list pussy John Mayer has, the "bar" a woman would have to meet to be my one & only would be so absurdly high as to be only theoretically possible.  We're talking asian ninja porn meets one-woman roman orgy meets chains & whips.  Every goddamned night.


Maybe the bar would go around the horn, and it would be abysmally low, like Roseanne or "The Biggest Loser" contestant.
 
2013-07-16 01:37:50 PM

Cymbal: Klippoklondike: Esc7: MattyFridays: I'm also on board with the "I don't get why John Mayer gets called a douche" train.

The guy is ultra-talented.  HE'S PLAYED WITH THE FRIGGING ROLLING STONES.  If you are a guitarist and can hold your own against Keith Richards, you get mad props.

Also, in Philly for the Fourth of July, he played a great set with Questlove as his drummer.

I don't think John Mayer is a douche, but I think people that like his music are at higher risk for contracting douchiness.

He's a good musician and douche as a person.  They are not mutually exclusive.  It's like Floyd Mayweather Jr.  Probably the best boxer of his generation, also one of the biggest douches of his generation.  Just got to separate their personal actions from their professional talent.

Again, why is he a douche? Can you back this up with specifics?

Like countless others, he gets the douche label because folks are envious of him for any number of reasons.


He has a reputation as a womanizer.  Apparently he gives women the old "you're the only woman for me" spiel while banging every woman with a pulse.  Almost every relationship of his that makes headlines ends up with burned bridges.  Of course, I don't know the guy, so I don't know if it's true.  But, it's been going around for years and from many different outlets and people.

So yeah it's possible he's a good guy, but who knows for sure.
 
2013-07-16 01:38:36 PM

T.rex: i agree... .i'm just saying Kate Perry is not that 'she', particularly for someone of Mayer's stature.


Mayer will never find that 'she'. The guy is just going to chase tail after tail until one day he finds out too late that no girl he'd consider chasing is willing to put up with his antics anymore. Katy just happens to be a little more resilient than his previous girlfriends and willing to put up with more crap than usual.

Which is unfortunate. Katy is nice enough, seems like she'd be loyal and faithful as hell, but she's just getting taken advantage of by manchildren. She finds someone that isn't a gigantic raging asshole, she'd grow old with the guy in a heartbeat.
 
2013-07-16 01:39:12 PM
I kind of hate myself for admitting it, but I watched the Kay Perry movie "Part of Me" last week.

The worst part? As someone who hasn't really like her or her music... I found myself enamored with her. In the movie she sings more grandiose versions of her poppy songs that are just amazing. The girls got some damn talent.

The only exposure I have of John Mayer, outside of his music, is his terrible stand-up attempts. The guy REALLY wants to be funny, but just isn't. I remember cringing at his jokes and thinking that he must be in love with himself.
 
2013-07-16 01:43:07 PM
Who's John Mayer?
 
2013-07-16 01:45:03 PM

Gosling: Katy is nice enough, seems like she'd be loyal and faithful as hell, but she's just getting taken advantage of by manchildren. She finds someone that isn't a gigantic raging asshole, she'd grow old with the guy in a heartbeat.


It wouldn't surprise me at all that she wants that kind of relationship. IIRC, she grew up in a stable home and likely sees that as an ideal.

Problem is, she has an acute failure of the mate selection process. Hollywood/entertainment industry folks are generally NOT the kinds of people who will provide a stable and committed long term relationship. Yet that's who she's around, that who she dates. That will lead to more disappointment than enjoyment for her.

That kind of committed and stable LTR is hard enough to find when you aren't with someone famous who has no end of people willing to hop in bed with him. Choosing someone who tends to go through women rather quickly AND has that kind of fame is just begging for trouble.
 
2013-07-16 01:47:24 PM

akula: Gosling: Katy is nice enough, seems like she'd be loyal and faithful as hell, but she's just getting taken advantage of by manchildren. She finds someone that isn't a gigantic raging asshole, she'd grow old with the guy in a heartbeat.

It wouldn't surprise me at all that she wants that kind of relationship. IIRC, she grew up in a stable home and likely sees that as an ideal.

Problem is, she has an acute failure of the mate selection process. Hollywood/entertainment industry folks are generally NOT the kinds of people who will provide a stable and committed long term relationship. Yet that's who she's around, that who she dates. That will lead to more disappointment than enjoyment for her.

That kind of committed and stable LTR is hard enough to find when you aren't with someone famous who has no end of people willing to hop in bed with him. Choosing someone who tends to go through women rather quickly AND has that kind of fame is just begging for trouble.


A problem I can easily see is that normal people wouldn't be able to handle the attention, fame, papparazi, etc that comes with dating a celeb, so celebs are forced to only really date each other, which drastically increases the odds of hooking up with a narcissistic egomaniac.
 
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