If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Cracked)   Here are five horrifying secrets supermarkets don't want you to know, with #5 enough to make this with the "Sick" tag   (cracked.com) divider line 168
    More: Sick, buddy cop, exact science, supermarkets  
•       •       •

33211 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Jul 2013 at 11:33 PM (51 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



168 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-07-16 12:00:25 AM
That's why all those 'mericuns are starving to death.
 
2013-07-16 12:00:47 AM

God Is My Co-Pirate: The My Little Pony Killer: Always wash your produce before putting it in your mouth. No exceptions.

/uses grocery carts from the store downstairs when going on dumpster runs
//no, they don't get wiped down afterwards

///wash your produce before you eat it, seriously

I had an idiot coworker who told me she never washed her produced "because I buy organic, so it doesn't need washing."


What did she think organic fertilizer was?

/Spoiler alert: it's poop.
 
2013-07-16 12:02:37 AM

Mokmo: And then people wonder why the rates of food poisoning is so different between US and Europe ?


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/German_E.Coli_outbreak
 
2013-07-16 12:04:00 AM
When I first moved out on my own and went to the grocery store I bought some pepperoni (it was pre-sliced for pizza and packaged in that tight plastic then put into a cardboard box and refrigerated).  Anyway, after I got home and opened it looked and felt weird.  I looked at the date and saw it had expired months ago :/.  I'm not sure why it didn't dawn on me to check the date beforehand.  That was the first time I started to realize grocery stores might not be on the up and up.

Also, I'm glad I wipe down my cart every time.  I always feel like people look at me funny when I do, but whatever.

Also, when people say wash your produce, I've never known what that meant exactly for different people.  I generally rinse and then wipe them dry with a paper towel.  Do people use soap or something?  I've always worried that I'm doing it wrong.
 
2013-07-16 12:04:39 AM
#5 is the same old "X has more germs on it than a toilet seat" garble.
 
2013-07-16 12:04:56 AM

Relatively Obscure: I don't care about most of these, at a glance.  Mislabeling food as other food, though, is not okay.


"Reconditioning Food Programs" that are allowed by the FDA?  Not cool.
 
2013-07-16 12:06:07 AM
If the pink slime Fark threads have taught me anything, it's that you are some kind of weirdo liberal fruit if you don't swallow anything and everything a business owner wants to sell you.
 
2013-07-16 12:06:16 AM

PillsHere: When I first moved out on my own and went to the grocery store I bought some pepperoni (it was pre-sliced for pizza and packaged in that tight plastic then put into a cardboard box and refrigerated).  Anyway, after I got home and opened it looked and felt weird.  I looked at the date and saw it had expired months ago :/.  I'm not sure why it didn't dawn on me to check the date beforehand.  That was the first time I started to realize grocery stores might not be on the up and up.

Also, I'm glad I wipe down my cart every time.  I always feel like people look at me funny when I do, but whatever.

Also, when people say wash your produce, I've never known what that meant exactly for different people.  I generally rinse and then wipe them dry with a paper towel.  Do people use soap or something?  I've always worried that I'm doing it wrong.


NEVER use soap.  You want to wash it under water with some sort of abrasion.  A vegetable brush is handy to have around (just wash it after you use it every time, keep it in a drawer and don't use it for cleaning your pans).
 
2013-07-16 12:07:34 AM

Big Dave: If the pink slime Fark threads have taught me anything, it's that you are some kind of weirdo liberal fruit if you don't swallow anything and everything a business owner wants to sell you.


If the Pink Slime Fark threads have taught me anything, it's that if you come up with a cutsey name for something and say that McDonald's uses it in their food, people will believe that it's evil and that McDonald's uses it in their food, even if they don't.
 
2013-07-16 12:07:36 AM

Gaddiel: teenage mutant ninja rapist: For god sakes never use the coffee grinder. Trust me on that one. Also if you enjoy fast food then never ever get pickles on anything.

Crap, I like pickles on my burger. Care to elaborate?


Is it because of that guy who was fired for putting his dick in the pickle slicer?
 
2013-07-16 12:10:45 AM
Is there any place poop free???
 
2013-07-16 12:10:49 AM

JohnnyRebel88: Relatively Obscure: I don't care about most of these, at a glance.  Mislabeling food as other food, though, is not okay.

"Reconditioning Food Programs" that are allowed by the FDA?  Not cool.


Why not? Is it causing any problems?

How much food is it okay to waste because it sounds yucky?
 
2013-07-16 12:11:30 AM

JesseL: teenage mutant ninja rapist: For god sakes never use the coffee grinder. Trust me on that one. Also if you enjoy fast food then never ever get pickles on anything.

Also things that have failed to kill me. Meh.


Mabey it did not kill you. Mabey it was the best steak I ever ate. But if I found out that the steak had spent 2 days marinating in loogies and pee I still would not have seconds.
 
2013-07-16 12:11:34 AM

eraser8: I'm surprised that people are unaware of #5.

First thing I do when I come home from the market?  Wash my hands.


Do you also wipe down your car handle, seat belt and steering wheel?

Godscrack: [www.tommackieracing.com image 337x450]

I'm just glad most supermarkets have these at the door.


Yes, because how did humans ever manage before? Germs are everywhere. And you have microscopic mites on your eyelashes.

/oh god, get em off, get em off!!!!
 
2013-07-16 12:11:49 AM
What sort of crap grocery store is this article referring to? The store I work in has frequent unannounced white glove inspections that are very particular. If things aren't sold by the sell-by date, especially meat, it goes to the deli to be served within a day. If it doesn't sell, it goes in the pig bin, along with everything else. None of this redating garbage. And the fish commentary is just stupid. It's not your grocery store that's lying to you about what fish you're eating, those lies start much further up the chain.
 
2013-07-16 12:11:55 AM

JesseL: All that and yet I'm still alive, so I give all 5 "secrets" a solid meh.


The drive to the supermarket is far more dangerous than anything at the supermarket.
 
2013-07-16 12:13:32 AM

litespeed74: Is there any place poop free???


Maybe, and hilariously, Uranus.
 
2013-07-16 12:13:46 AM
but she poops in there!
seriouslyforreal.com
 
2013-07-16 12:13:59 AM

Godscrack: [www.tommackieracing.com image 337x450]

I'm just glad most supermarkets have these at the door.


You wouldn't get sick all the time if you didn't constantly use those damn wipes.  You don't build immunity by living in a sterile bubble.
 
2013-07-16 12:14:34 AM

eraser8: I'm surprised that people are unaware of #5.

First thing I do when I come home from the market?  Wash my hands.


By the time you wash your hands you have already transferred that poop to your keys, car, home doorhandles, and sink taps.
You can not escape the poop.
 
2013-07-16 12:16:52 AM
Didn't the Mythbusters do a show on storing your toothbrush near the toilet vs. elsewhere and inadvertently discovered that pretty much everything in the world which is anywhere near humans is covered in human poop?
 
2013-07-16 12:16:56 AM

Ivo Shandor: Gaddiel: teenage mutant ninja rapist: For god sakes never use the coffee grinder. Trust me on that one. Also if you enjoy fast food then never ever get pickles on anything.

Crap, I like pickles on my burger. Care to elaborate?

Is it because of that guy who was fired for putting his dick in the pickle slicer?


Kids piss in the pickle jar. Never witnessed it but have heard from several sources. Also kids will put frozen patties on their feet and skate across the floor on them.
also kids will piss in oven cleaner. That one I did witness.

as for the coffe grinder I once saw a fat bas*ard gob a steady stream of loogies into the grinder. For like 20 damn minutes.

saw kids in the meat department slapping eachother with steaks. Shiat if I think back to my days as a teen working in grocery stores Im sure I could remember some other doozies. Hell I quit buger king over the oven cleaner thing.

Im all for shenanigans. But pulling a tyler durden on the food supply crosses a line to me.
mainly cause I love to eat.
 
2013-07-16 12:17:17 AM

The My Little Pony Killer: Always wash your produce before putting it in your mouth. No exceptions.

/uses grocery carts from the store downstairs when going on dumpster runs
//no, they don't get wiped down afterwards

///wash your produce before you eat it, seriously


how much should we wash it? a simple rinse down in the sink?  use soap?  bleach? scrub down?
 
2013-07-16 12:18:18 AM

teenage mutant ninja rapist: JesseL: teenage mutant ninja rapist: For god sakes never use the coffee grinder. Trust me on that one. Also if you enjoy fast food then never ever get pickles on anything.

Also things that have failed to kill me. Meh.

Mabey it did not kill you. Mabey it was the best steak I ever ate. But if I found out that the steak had spent 2 days marinating in loogies and pee I still would not have seconds.


Honestly, the way you misspell maybe is way more upsetting.

/priorities, I have them
 
2013-07-16 12:18:21 AM

meanmutton: PillsHere: When I first moved out on my own and went to the grocery store I bought some pepperoni (it was pre-sliced for pizza and packaged in that tight plastic then put into a cardboard box and refrigerated).  Anyway, after I got home and opened it looked and felt weird.  I looked at the date and saw it had expired months ago :/.  I'm not sure why it didn't dawn on me to check the date beforehand.  That was the first time I started to realize grocery stores might not be on the up and up.

Also, I'm glad I wipe down my cart every time.  I always feel like people look at me funny when I do, but whatever.

Also, when people say wash your produce, I've never known what that meant exactly for different people.  I generally rinse and then wipe them dry with a paper towel.  Do people use soap or something?  I've always worried that I'm doing it wrong.

NEVER use soap.  You want to wash it under water with some sort of abrasion.  A vegetable brush is handy to have around (just wash it after you use it every time, keep it in a drawer and don't use it for cleaning your pans).


Why not use soap?  Unless your fruit is organic it's covered with waxy/oily pesticides and a bit of dish detergent is one of the only safe ways to remove it.

Wash a non organic apple with a drop of soap and marvel at the new non waxy texture the peel has.  And grapes? Have fun individually washing those with a brush.
 
2013-07-16 12:19:45 AM

Thingster: Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Rising_Zan_Samurai_Gunman: Hate to tell you this subby, but there is literally poop everywhere, and its actually ok to be exposed to little bits of it - that's what your immune system is for.
  Now obviously, if there is visible poop on the cart, then you shouldn't use it.  And produce should always be washed, mostly due to salmonella  (especially melons - wash thoroughly before slicing)

  As for the other stuff, most of that is already known and not that gross.  You can actually eat most many spoiled foods with minimal health effects, it will just make you retch if it smells or tastes gross.  Peanut butter for example can go rancid, but that's about the worst that happens to it.  For many, many foods, the date on the package is a sell by date, not a use by date, which could be months or years later in some cases.

My rule is if it has to be stored in the fridge, it's gone within 24 hours of the use by date. Stored at room temperature, it's fine. I buy meat in the red sticker (huge markdown for close to expiring at my supermarket) area and freeze it. Thaw it out 24 hours beforehand and you've got cheap meat for a meal.

You're potentially wasting a lot of food. 24hours? Be brave, the smell test works, really.

Even after that, there's cutting mold away and boiling. I'm not saying I do that, but as Americans, we throw away tons of perfectly serviceable foods.


Agreed, wasting a lot of food.  Just in case you don't know, that date on eggs is a sell by date - they're usually good at least 3 weeks past that is properly stored.  in fact, if you're making hard boiled eggs, you usually want them at least a week past that date.
     Condiments are also generally fine well past the date, but it depends.  Mayo should go sooner rather than later - it can go longer if its a squeeze bottle vs a jar you put a knife into.  Mustard lasts a very long time.  Tonight I actually used Salad dressing that had a "Best By" date of October 2012, and it tasted completely fine.  It has been in my fridge and not sitting out in the summer heat, which helps.
 
2013-07-16 12:19:58 AM

jsmilky: The My Little Pony Killer: Always wash your produce before putting it in your mouth. No exceptions.

/uses grocery carts from the store downstairs when going on dumpster runs
//no, they don't get wiped down afterwards

///wash your produce before you eat it, seriously

how much should we wash it? a simple rinse down in the sink?  use soap?  bleach? scrub down?


farm5.staticflickr.com
 
2013-07-16 12:20:12 AM

cameroncrazy1984: People still go to supermarkets that don't have disinfectant wipes  right at the entrance?


I never realized they were there for that reason.
Makes sense I guess, so that all the Howie Mandels, and Adrian Monks of the world don't starve to death.

I have never had a problem with any of that stuff.
Many years ago, I supervised janitorial crews, and we used to clean toilets, garbage cans, sinks, whatever, without gloves, and none of us even got the sniffles.

The workers at the offices we cleaned however, were out sick all the time despite the fact that we cleaned and disinfected damn near everything, every night.

We used to even do the door knobs, push bars, banisters etc because that's what they wanted, and paid for.
These were state offices, and it was almost laughable watching the officer workers coming to work  wearing surgical masks during flu season, and using a pen to touch the elevator buttons.
 
2013-07-16 12:20:59 AM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-07-16 12:21:11 AM

lewismarktwo: meanmutton: PillsHere: When I first moved out on my own and went to the grocery store I bought some pepperoni (it was pre-sliced for pizza and packaged in that tight plastic then put into a cardboard box and refrigerated).  Anyway, after I got home and opened it looked and felt weird.  I looked at the date and saw it had expired months ago :/.  I'm not sure why it didn't dawn on me to check the date beforehand.  That was the first time I started to realize grocery stores might not be on the up and up.

Also, I'm glad I wipe down my cart every time.  I always feel like people look at me funny when I do, but whatever.

Also, when people say wash your produce, I've never known what that meant exactly for different people.  I generally rinse and then wipe them dry with a paper towel.  Do people use soap or something?  I've always worried that I'm doing it wrong.

NEVER use soap.  You want to wash it under water with some sort of abrasion.  A vegetable brush is handy to have around (just wash it after you use it every time, keep it in a drawer and don't use it for cleaning your pans).

Why not use soap?  Unless your fruit is organic it's covered with waxy/oily pesticides and a bit of dish detergent is one of the only safe ways to remove it.

Wash a non organic apple with a drop of soap and marvel at the new non waxy texture the peel has.  And grapes? Have fun individually washing those with a brush.


I got the grape thing covered; Mrs LC peels them all for me and puts them in a container for me to take to work.
 
2013-07-16 12:21:40 AM

Oldiron_79: Godscrack: Blaming janitors for poop on carts? No. Try babies.

That's what the fold down seat with the two legs holes up front is there for. That way 20 or 50 different babies can leave 'their mark' all over that seat and handle area. Ever seen store employees wiping them down?

I've never seen anyone like hand wiping them, but I've seen the store like hosing them off.


The big stores do actually clean the carts, professionally. That's something the author either omitted or just didn't know about.

I've worked at a grocery store before, and have seen this done at many other stores for other companies.

It may only happen once a month, but it does happen. And how do they do it? A car wash! I'm not joking either, I've actually watched it. There's companies that large stores contract with, who will bring a trailer mounted washer system that the carts get pushed through. And the one I saw before literally looked like any regular car wash with rotating brushes inside, just smaller and mobile.

Was kinda interesting to watch as they pushed about 10 carts through at a time, the machine scrubed them, while an assistant stood at the exit with a pressure hose and rinsed them off.
 
2013-07-16 12:22:07 AM

fusillade762: Ivo Shandor: #6 - That nice red color on the meat comes from treating it with carbon monoxide. It's not a sign of freshness.

I thought it was usually a combination of nitrogen and carbon dioxide?


Unless it's the fresh made sandwich spread in the meat dept. Then it could be kool-ade. Unscrupulous stores will make it out of past date hot dogs and bologna and add a little red mix to restore the fresh look.
Food recycling happens, but it can be done safely. This is not safe.

/20 yrs.grocery retail experience.
/Quit in March to finish my degree.
 
2013-07-16 12:22:24 AM
This is nothing.

There are far scarier things in the food industry.  Between "acceptable levels" of contaminants, additives that are only legal because the FDA was bribed to approve them, and genetically modified foods that are only safety-tested by the company's who are trying to profit from selling them....  our entire food system is on the precipice of crashing.

Much bigger issues.
 
2013-07-16 12:23:30 AM

LiberalConservative: I got the grape thing covered; Mrs LC peels them all for me


o O

Are you joking?
 
2013-07-16 12:25:25 AM

teenage mutant ninja rapist: For god sakes never use the coffee grinder. Trust me on that one. Also if you enjoy fast food then never ever get pickles on anything.


What's wrong with the pickles. I just got sliders at Krystal. Am I gonna be OK? Also what about the coffee grinder?
 
2013-07-16 12:25:35 AM

Nuclear Monk: Deedeemarz: I was only bothered by the ice cream potpourri. Seriously--any of that weird B&J potato chip pickle and hot sauce ice cream crap can just magically be turned into chocolate?!? Ewwww

Really?  That was the least bothersome one to me, because hey, you end up with chocolate ice cream! Woot!

Not that the others were terribly bothersome either...using Walmart as the example for a grocery store with terrible meat practices kinda comes with a huge 'NO DUH!'.  I can only assume it's store policy to advance the expiration date after the meat has been sitting in a bin all day at Customer Returns.


I am a nurse. Got over E. coli years ago and pretty much immune to food borne illness from years of eating food that has set out for way too long. Just don't like the idea of unchocolate becoming chocolate 😱
 
2013-07-16 12:25:55 AM

thisisyourbrainonFark: Yes, because how did humans ever manage before?


By dying at much younger ages due to a lack of medicine and sanitation?
 
2013-07-16 12:29:00 AM

thisisyourbrainonFark: LiberalConservative: I got the grape thing covered; Mrs LC peels them all for me

o O

Are you joking?


Not at all. She also peels my grapefruit, even removing the bitter segment walls. I have never asked her to do this. Think is a Chinese thing.
 
2013-07-16 12:29:56 AM

meanmutton: Big Dave: If the pink slime Fark threads have taught me anything, it's that you are some kind of weirdo liberal fruit if you don't swallow anything and everything a business owner wants to sell you.

If the Pink Slime Fark threads have taught me anything, it's that if you come up with a cutsey name for something and say that McDonald's uses it in their food, people will believe that it's evil and that McDonald's uses it in their food, even if they don't.


McDonald's may not be the worst food on the planet but it's close.  It's barely rea meat and bread and cheese.  Speaking of pickles... they are probably the most sanitary/cleanest/healthiest thing you can get on a sandwich from McD's.
 
2013-07-16 12:31:00 AM

ArcadianRefugee: thisisyourbrainonFark: Yes, because how did humans ever manage before?

By dying at much younger ages due to a lack of medicine and sanitation?


And yet life expectancy has increased over the past several decades without people wiping down their carts until now.
 
2013-07-16 12:31:04 AM
that article was a load of crap. well maybe it's true for some grocery stores - wouldn't surprise me.

I work for a big chain here in the Southeast so let me chime in:

#5. There Is Poop on the Shopping Carts
while not impossible, many carts do get cleaned. customers wipe them down several times a day now that we have so many germaphobes in this country. they also get left out in the rain often. and believe it or not, at least 4 times a year they get pressure washed in the middle of the night. so yes, they do get cleaned occasionally. wipe down your carts before you use them and don't put food in the "seat" area, dumbass.

#4. They Change Expiration Dates (and It's Usually Legal)

the only time i've seen this done is if something is cut late at night (ie, it just lost a full day) or due to an error. not saying it doesn't happen and i'm pretty sure it's not legal.


#3. Food Gets Recycled

 what. a load. of bullshiat. well, sort of. anything perishable gets tossed - especially anything frozen like ice cream. what? do you think grocery stores want to pay for a refrigerated truck to send that shiat back to the manufacturer? no - they toss it in the trash and the manufacturer either gives us credit or we take a loss. the one exception here is produce - those fresh cut salads and fruit slices? some of them may be from 1 day expired product (expired but no visible/smelly/whatever defects) or damaged product (cut strawberries might be from a case of strawberries that had a moldy one it). all fruit and veggies are washed thoroughly before they are cut. this much is true.

#2. The Meat Might Be Wearing a Disguise

pretty sure it's illegal and if it happens mostly due to a misprint. I know Europe had a problem with this recently. fact is, you can tell most meat just by looking at it though I suppose some of the cheaper cuts may start to look similar.

#1. The Health Inspection System Is, Let's Say, Rather Lax

bull-farking-shiat. I have actually seen the USDA shut down departments and entire stores for extreme violations before (one such one was a deli that for some reason had no hot water - USDA shut them down for 2 days!) additionally fines are often given for violations which is a good motivator to keep your stuff clean because the USDA often shows up randomly and without warning. I will admit that shiat happens sometimes though. if you reach into a cold case and it clearly isn't cold you probably shouldn't buy whatever is in there - they do break sometimes - let someone who works there know so that they can throw out the product if it's temp is more than 10 degrees above 34-42.
 
2013-07-16 12:32:09 AM
Rising_Zan_Samurai_Gunman: Condiments are also generally fine well past the date, but it depends. Mayo should go sooner rather than later

I once heard that mayo was invented in France to overpower the taste of spoiling meats.

// mayo is one of the few things on the short list of food items that I will not eat (along with beets and pickles), which is odd because I can eat eggs and oil (in the case of mayo), and vinegar and cucumber (in the case of pickles), but something goes wrong when they are combined. BEETS OTOH are horrid no matter the preparation.
 
2013-07-16 12:32:46 AM

LiberalConservative: thisisyourbrainonFark: LiberalConservative: I got the grape thing covered; Mrs LC peels them all for me

o O

Are you joking?

Not at all. She also peels my grapefruit, even removing the bitter segment walls. I have never asked her to do this. Think is a Chinese thing.


Peeling the grapes just seems utterly time-consuming. I only do it with my M&Ms.
 
HBK
2013-07-16 12:32:58 AM

hubiestubert: The last one, about health inspections is the one that should worry you. My industry is taken to task over and over again about food borne illness, and groceries aren't held anywhere near as accountable.


There's a new Kroger near my house. My first trip there the girl bagged pork, chicken, and produce in the same bag.

When I worked at a grocery store, that would have gotten you an immediate write-up.
 
2013-07-16 12:33:14 AM
PROTIP:  Live in another country for a while. Buy groceries. Become horrified at what passes for food in the US versus the rest of the world.
 
2013-07-16 12:33:20 AM

ArcadianRefugee: thisisyourbrainonFark: Yes, because how did humans ever manage before?

By dying at much younger ages due to a lack of medicine and sanitation?


Maybe the for-profit food industry is just trying to reset the balance that was upset by all of our advancements in modern medicine!  The world would be better off if half of babies didn't survive to adulthood.  Yes, I said that.  THERE ARE TOO MANY OF US!

Oh, and every family like the Duggar's should be forcibly sterilized.
 
2013-07-16 12:37:17 AM

ArcadianRefugee: thisisyourbrainonFark: Yes, because how did humans ever manage before?

By dying at much younger ages due to a lack of medicine and sanitation?


Generally, the life expectancy numbers you're thinking of were lower because people died in childhood a lot more. Because kids and the elderly have weaker immune systems than adults. If you made it past 12, you had a pretty good chance at a nice long life. But a lot of people died at 3 or whatever, so the average gets dragged down to 45 or whatever.

Seriously, you have a farking immune system for a reason. Unless it's compromised in some way, the whole bubble boy thing will make you less healthy, not more.
 
2013-07-16 12:37:31 AM

Dreamless: I used to work at a grocery store, so I'm really getting a kick out of some of these replies...

Uh, still reading the article.


I still work at a grocery store and while I'm also getting a kick, I'm kinda shaking my head too...
 
2013-07-16 12:38:09 AM
Meh.  I know all my meat is exactly what it's supposed to be.  100% dead deer.
 
2013-07-16 12:38:57 AM
Meh.

Do know how much rat crap, rat hair, and insect bits the FDA allows you to eat on a daily basis.  It's pretty safe to assume if you eat three times a day, you'll get at least a little of each.

Every day.
 
Displayed 50 of 168 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report