If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Fark)   One of our own needs help. Please see DIT about a mother-to-be that needs a hand   (fark.com) divider line 21
    More: Sad  
•       •       •

678 clicks; posted to FarkUs » on 15 Jul 2013 at 1:08 PM (39 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-07-15 11:27:47 AM
2 votes:
If my wife asks why I am sending another woman a baby food maker and baby laundry detergent, I am going to be sooooo pissed off.
2013-07-15 05:17:32 PM
1 votes:

socially inept was taken: I just want to say that this was THE BEST baby shower I have ever been to.  I didn't have to taste unidentified mush, oooo and aaahhh over diaper genies, or get dressed up.

All baby showers should now be handled in this fashion.


but how am I going to win the "measure the string to show how large the pregnant woman is" game?

I always win that game.

;)
2013-07-15 05:02:25 PM
1 votes:
I just want to say that this was THE BEST baby shower I have ever been to.  I didn't have to taste unidentified mush, oooo and aaahhh over diaper genies, or get dressed up.

All baby showers should now be handled in this fashion.
2013-07-15 12:54:35 PM
1 votes:

ahab: rappy: And it was so gross/weird because she would have to leave to the bathroom to squirt milk in the toilet.

If you were a real friend, you would have said, "Just squirt it right here in my drink."


It would go nicely with some Kahlua.
2013-07-15 12:53:40 PM
1 votes:
I may have made a white Russian with breast milk in the past.
2013-07-15 12:48:53 PM
1 votes:

rappy: squirt milk in the toileti>

This porno sucks.

2013-07-15 12:41:50 PM
1 votes:

Aarontology: I always figured the appeal of pregnant porn is that the belly gets all big and the belly button turns into an outie, so it's like having a gigantic super boob underneath the already larger than normal boobs.


I figured it was a mental association thing.  The wife was horny as hell while pregnant, then no sex for a long time after she drops the bomb.  Pregnancy, ipso facto, becomes associated with sex.
*puffs pipe*
*bubbles come out*
2013-07-15 12:39:04 PM
1 votes:

KingoftheCheese: Tat'dGreaser: KingoftheCheese: The belly.

Like knowing there is a baby in there gets you worked up?

Don't turn this into a pedo thing. I just like the shape of a pregnant woman's body. that's all there is to it.


I always figured the appeal of pregnant porn is that the belly gets all big and the belly button turns into an outie, so it's like having a gigantic super boob underneath the already larger than normal boobs.
2013-07-15 12:34:16 PM
1 votes:

Huck Chaser: You like boats, but not the ocean. You go to a lake in the summer with your family up in the mountains. There's a long wooden dock and a boathouse with boards missing from the roof, and a place you used to crawl underneath to be alone. You're a sucker for French poetry and rhinestones. You're very generous. You're kind to strangers and children, and when you stand in the snow you look like an angel.


I'm a god, not the God.
2013-07-15 12:30:55 PM
1 votes:

rappy: Shaggydum80: I have to call and get her anti-anxiety medicine refilled today.

Anti-anxiety meds for a pet. My god.

And  Kwame just sort of blew my mind with that list of awful creatures. But I still stand by cats being in the top 2.


Spidercats.
2013-07-15 12:20:03 PM
1 votes:
View from  kiwi's front door in a couple of days:
farm8.staticflickr.com
2013-07-15 12:11:58 PM
1 votes:

ami5000: drkdstryer: Wait, he scammed TFark out of dollars, right? I thought when that got posted on TFD we just laughed at the poster.

Yup.


Yeah, I fell for that one and felt pretty stupid.  But I'm pretty confident that Teriaki and kiwi aren't faking this pregnancy to build their collection of teething rings, so I'm down with this.
2013-07-15 12:08:50 PM
1 votes:

feckingmorons: I can't help the world, but I can help a few people.


Did you just throw a starfish back into the ocean?
2013-07-15 12:04:08 PM
1 votes:
I'm a total lurker but that doesn't mean we can't help out too!  Diapers and a teething ring on the way, should be there Wednesday!  You just have to figure out which end of the baby to put each on.

/choose wisely
2013-07-15 12:03:22 PM
1 votes:

Tat'dGreaser: sgt cyanide: it's not my fault he makes me kill bugs and gets sad if he sleeps alone.

Good god


he did kill a cockroach that ran up the drain while I was cleaning the sink

I mean he covered his hands in toilet paper before throwing it away but at least he saved me when I let out a scream of death.

I'd tell you about the other things i do for him but then if sound like those people who are like IS THE BEST WIFE EVAR I LIVE WITH HIS COCK IN MY MOUTH AND IRON LAUNDRY WITH MY FEET SO MY HANDS ARE FREE FOR HIS PENIS

I mean. we don't even OWN an iron. but he does but me flowers and opens car doors for me-even when I'm driving
2013-07-15 11:52:27 AM
1 votes:

feckingmorons: Kiwi, your UPS guy is going to hate you on Wednesday.


hahaha oh god i demand pictures of the piles of boxes.
2013-07-15 11:42:51 AM
1 votes:
When I have a baby, I'm going to put a pony on the registry.
2013-07-15 11:32:22 AM
1 votes:

LlamaGirl: wizden: Ain't nobody got the stomach for that. I would have shot myself in the face within three months if I had to scrub that mess out of cloth diapers every time the baby exploded.

Your babies exploded? WTF were you feeding them!?


Newborn baby poop has the consistency of mustard, water, and small curd cottage cheese mixed together.
2013-07-15 11:31:49 AM
1 votes:

LlamaGirl: wizden: Ain't nobody got the stomach for that. I would have shot myself in the face within three months if I had to scrub that mess out of cloth diapers every time the baby exploded.

Your babies exploded? WTF were you feeding them!?


Chili, obviously.
2013-07-15 11:16:08 AM
1 votes:
How much do we have to donate to get naming rights for the baby?

//Good luck, i hope the rest of it goes easy
2013-07-15 11:06:48 AM
1 votes:
I recommend you push. PUSH PUSH PUSH PUSH PUSH

Real good.
 
Displayed 21 of 21 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report