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(Fark)   One of our own needs help. Please see DIT about a mother-to-be that needs a hand   (fark.com) divider line 590
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693 clicks; posted to FarkUs » on 15 Jul 2013 at 1:08 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



590 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-07-15 01:05:25 PM  
I saw a porno once where this skinny, not pregnant chick was getting DP'd and her tits were sprinkling the floor with milk like a hose. Shiat was everywhere.
 
2013-07-15 01:05:29 PM  

Shaggydum80: Can't wait to see the liter reaction to this clusterf*ck.


It's going on farkus so no one will see it.
 
2013-07-15 01:05:53 PM  

Mr. Murder: I tend to never stimulate the nipples of a female human being too much, regardless if they have ever had kids or not.  You just never know what is going to come out of those things.


This is why you're single.  Well, I mean, it's one of the many reasons.  But it's definitely on the list.
 
2013-07-15 01:06:08 PM  

imapirate: I saw a porno once where this skinny, not pregnant chick was getting DP'd and her tits were sprinkling the floor with milk like a hose. Shiat was everywhere.


Link?
 
2013-07-15 01:06:23 PM  

Mr. Murder: I tend to never stimulate the nipples of a female human being too much, regardless if they have ever had kids or not.  You just never know what is going to come out of those things.


www.godlikeproductions.com
 
2013-07-15 01:06:35 PM  
Also, buying formula on Amazon before the baby is born isn't a great idea. There's no telling what formula the baby will take and it's a much bigger pain in the ass to send it back to Amazon than it would be to take it back to a store.
 
2013-07-15 01:06:46 PM  

Mr. Murder: I tend to never stimulate the nipples of a female human being too much, regardless if they have ever had kids or not.  You just never know what is going to come out of those things.


What if they shot out Mike & Ike's? You'd be kicking yourself if you knew you passed up an opportunity to get Mike & Ike's...
 
2013-07-15 01:06:56 PM  

imapirate: I saw a porno once where this skinny, not pregnant chick was getting DP'd and her tits were sprinkling the floor with milk like a hose. Shiat was everywhere.


Sounds like you have good taste in cinema.
 
2013-07-15 01:07:05 PM  
Is the amazon bill going to come to my house? I have never done registrys before
 
2013-07-15 01:07:31 PM  

Ponzholio: Mr. Murder: I tend to never stimulate the nipples of a female human being too much, regardless if they have ever had kids or not.  You just never know what is going to come out of those things.

What if they shot out Mike & Ike's? You'd be kicking yourself if you knew you passed up an opportunity to get Mike & Ike's...


Who is Ike?
 
2013-07-15 01:07:50 PM  

LlamaGirl: I want to make scrambled eggs with tit milk.


I don't know if that would work, it's full of digestive enzymes. I would add it to baby cereal for my older daughter when she started solid food at 6 months and the cereal would be reduced down from its original state in 15 minutes if it wasn't eaten.
 
2013-07-15 01:08:49 PM  

spcMike: Ponzholio: Mr. Murder: I tend to never stimulate the nipples of a female human being too much, regardless if they have ever had kids or not.  You just never know what is going to come out of those things.

What if they shot out Mike & Ike's? You'd be kicking yourself if you knew you passed up an opportunity to get Mike & Ike's...


Who is Ike?


southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com

 
2013-07-15 01:09:30 PM  
Wet nurses make damn good money in China.
 
2013-07-15 01:09:50 PM  

Shaggydum80: Can't wait to see the liter reaction to this clusterf*ck.


Greening this seems like a bad idea.
 
DGS [TotalFark]
2013-07-15 01:10:09 PM  

Shaggydum80: Can't wait to see the liter reaction to this clusterf*ck.


No shiate. Some of these comments just leave me shaking my head.

/of course, somehow I got Robin Williams' voice in my head from Good Morning Vietnam
//SURPRIIISE SURPRIIISE SURPRIIISE
 
2013-07-15 01:10:21 PM  

Mr. Murder: I tend to never stimulate the nipples of a female human being too much, regardless if they have ever had kids or not.  You just never know what is going to come out of those things.


Even I cannot make the obvious penis joke here.
 
2013-07-15 01:10:32 PM  

ontariolightning: Is the amazon bill going to come to my house? I have never done registrys before


Same as any amazon purchase (i.e. you pay with a credit card, gift certificate, etc. at the time of purchase), except that it gets delivered directly to the address specified by the person who set up the registry.
 
2013-07-15 01:10:42 PM  

spcMike: imapirate: I saw a porno once where this skinny, not pregnant chick was getting DP'd and her tits were sprinkling the floor with milk like a hose. Shiat was everywhere.

Link?


Nah, it was on some shiatty DVD I bought back in college. I remember thinking "they're literally farking a kiddie meal out of her."
 
2013-07-15 01:11:07 PM  
pbs.twimg.com
 
2013-07-15 01:11:19 PM  

ami5000: Shaggydum80: Can't wait to see the liter reaction to this clusterf*ck.

Greening this seems like a bad idea.


It's FarkUs, not Main.
 
2013-07-15 01:11:54 PM  

ami5000: Shaggydum80: Can't wait to see the liter reaction to this clusterf*ck.

Greening this seems like a bad idea.


It could be spectacular.

But, maybe not if they keep sanitizing it.....
 
2013-07-15 01:12:20 PM  

spcMike: Tat'dGreaser: spcMike: Breast milk adds something to the bedroom fun.

Good god man

Don't knock it till you try it.


I think knocking was what caused the milk problem in the first place.
 
2013-07-15 01:12:46 PM  

Huck Chaser: ontariolightning: Is the amazon bill going to come to my house? I have never done registrys before

Same as any amazon purchase (i.e. you pay with a credit card, gift certificate, etc. at the time of purchase), except that it gets delivered directly to the address specified by the person who set up the registry.


Okay thanks that is good.
 
2013-07-15 01:13:46 PM  

ami5000: Greening this seems like a bad idea.


She'll probably end up with a new house by the end of the day.
 
2013-07-15 01:14:16 PM  
I just want to say since this seems to be slowing down, that I'm grateful for every single one of you. Even the snarkiest of you guys is like family to me here, and I'm thankful for well wishes, sarcasm, taunting abuse, and donations to my sad cause. Thank you.
 
2013-07-15 01:15:28 PM  

Tat'dGreaser: ami5000: Greening this seems like a bad idea.

She'll probably end up with a new house by the end of the day.


A beautiful house made of the finest insults.
 
2013-07-15 01:15:39 PM  

atlfarkette: [pbs.twimg.com image 500x584]


This is one of those situations where people actually do.

His whole ministry was about helping those in need, demonstrating compassion, putting others before yourself, bring charitable, and forgiving trespasses.

Yet here we are.
 
2013-07-15 01:15:44 PM  

Mr. Murder: I tend to never stimulate the nipples of a female human being too much, regardless if they have ever had kids or not. You just never know what is going to come out of those things.


i.imgur.com
 
2013-07-15 01:18:45 PM  

Teriaki: Hi everyone -


You are awesome!

kiwimoogle84: Thanks for reading/ listening. It truly is appreciated.


You're awesome too, I'll see what's left on Friday and ship something or donate.
 
2013-07-15 01:19:26 PM  
i798.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-15 01:22:25 PM  

Aarontology: atlfarkette: [pbs.twimg.com image 500x584]

This is one of those situations where people actually do.

His whole ministry was about helping those in need, demonstrating compassion, putting others before yourself, bring charitable, and forgiving trespasses.

Yet here we are.


Noooo I'm pretty sure Jesus thought all that stuff was gay and wanted us to hate the homosexuals and save fetuses.
 
2013-07-15 01:23:12 PM  
I don't think I've ever seen the farkus tab.
 
2013-07-15 01:24:26 PM  

ami5000: CapeFearCadaver: Hrm. I'm guessing some people have a case of the Mondays up in this b*tch.

Questioning a person who is asking for money seems smart. Do you always just give your money to anyone who asks for it?


kiwi is good people. Amongst other things she had a very successful fund raising thread on behalf of another one of our own, vincent_blackshadow.

I have no money to purchase anything for her or her soon-to-be here baby, but she has my utmost love, respect & support.
 
2013-07-15 01:25:47 PM  

Bathia_Mapes: ami5000: CapeFearCadaver: Hrm. I'm guessing some people have a case of the Mondays up in this b*tch.

Questioning a person who is asking for money seems smart. Do you always just give your money to anyone who asks for it?

kiwi is good people. Amongst other things she had a very successful fund raising thread on behalf of another one of our own, vincent_blackshadow.

I have no money to purchase anything for her or her soon-to-be here baby, but she has my utmost love, respect & support.


Bathia you're good people too. Thanks :)
 
2013-07-15 01:29:05 PM  
Firefly was super duper great. It's dumb they canceled it. You're into all things my sisters are into Kiwi. Interesting, indeedy.
 
2013-07-15 01:36:00 PM  
Also a message from Mister Kiwi if anyone cares, though I think the thread is just about dead:

I don't know who all you people are, but the way you all came around to help someone you don't even know who is going through a rough time makes me hope for humanity a little. I hope in some way we can repay you all someday.
 
2013-07-15 01:36:11 PM  

imapirate: spcMike: imapirate: I saw a porno once where this skinny, not pregnant chick was getting DP'd and her tits were sprinkling the floor with milk like a hose. Shiat was everywhere.

Link?

Nah, it was on some shiatty DVD I bought back in college. I remember thinking "they're literally farking a kiddie meal out of her."


First good laugh I have had in a while.  Thats funny.

/I too may have sampled the wifes production
 
2013-07-15 01:36:37 PM  

kiwimoogle84: Bathia_Mapes: ami5000: CapeFearCadaver: Hrm. I'm guessing some people have a case of the Mondays up in this b*tch.

Questioning a person who is asking for money seems smart. Do you always just give your money to anyone who asks for it?

kiwi is good people. Amongst other things she had a very successful fund raising thread on behalf of another one of our own, vincent_blackshadow.

I have no money to purchase anything for her or her soon-to-be here baby, but she has my utmost love, respect & support.

Bathia you're good people too. Thanks :)


:-)
 
2013-07-15 01:40:29 PM  
Sorry... didn't read the whole thing... but I thought this came up a week or two ago in a TFD and Kiwimoogle was appreciative but gonna be fine.

just curious...

/I'm helping!
 
2013-07-15 01:40:32 PM  
If I wasnt totally broke from just finishing paying off my wedding I would contribute. If I remember on Friday I'll take a look at the list and see whats left and maybe contribute.

I think that Finland had it right with their baby boxes. I would love to see something like this in the US.

http://njtoday.net/2013/07/07/finnish-baby-boxes/
 
2013-07-15 01:43:45 PM  

Pray 4 Mojo: Sorry... didn't read the whole thing... but I thought this came up a week or two ago in a TFD and Kiwimoogle was appreciative but gonna be fine.

just curious...

/I'm helping!


I was discussing my current debt, but the main kicker was that we went into this week with a few unexpected expenses and didn't have enough money to finish buying baby stuff. The existing debt I can work out on my own, medical bills are my career. I just didn't have a lot of newborn essentials because the car needed to be worked on and the utility bill was overdue, that kind of thing.
 
2013-07-15 01:44:36 PM  

kiwimoogle84: Also a message from Mister Kiwi if anyone cares, though I think the thread is just about dead:

I don't know who all you people are, but the way you all came around to help someone you don't even know who is going through a rough time makes me hope for humanity a little. I hope in some way we can repay you all someday.


I think I speak for all Farkers when I say please keep your baby away from Justin Bieber and everything will be even stevens. Try to keep your baby away from Shia Labouef too. I know he's kind of goofy looking so the baby might like it but long term you don't know the damage you'd be doing.  Peace!
 
2013-07-15 01:44:59 PM  

Pray 4 Mojo: Sorry... didn't read the whole thing... but I thought this came up a week or two ago in a TFD and Kiwimoogle was appreciative but gonna be fine.

just curious...

/I'm helping!


Actually... forget I said that. It doesn't matter.

Kiwimoogle... I'm in Sacramento and just sold something large on CL... so I have a bunch of cash on hand that hasn't been taken to the bank yet. Be really happy to help out... if there's a non-creepy way for you to get it. For serious. Email me please.
 
2013-07-15 01:47:45 PM  

ontariolightning: kiwimoogle84: Also a message from Mister Kiwi if anyone cares, though I think the thread is just about dead:

I don't know who all you people are, but the way you all came around to help someone you don't even know who is going through a rough time makes me hope for humanity a little. I hope in some way we can repay you all someday.

I think I speak for all Farkers when I say please keep your baby away from Justin Bieber and everything will be even stevens. Try to keep your baby away from Shia Labouef too. I know he's kind of goofy looking so the baby might like it but long term you don't know the damage you'd be doing.  Peace!


I sincerely hope you see the hilarity there.
 
2013-07-15 01:57:11 PM  
So, like the highest bid wins a kid?
 
2013-07-15 01:58:27 PM  

Spoon over Marin: So, like the highest bid wins a kid?


I must have bid highest. Didn't even know I was in an auction. :)

And Pray 4 Mojo- You have mail.
 
2013-07-15 01:59:19 PM  

kiwimoogle84: Also a message from Mister Kiwi if anyone cares, though I think the thread is just about dead:

I don't know who all you people are, but the way you all came around to help someone you don't even know who is going through a rough time makes me hope for humanity a little. I hope in some way we can repay you all someday.


Paypal'd
 
DGS [TotalFark]
2013-07-15 02:00:50 PM  

kiwimoogle84: Also a message from Mister Kiwi if anyone cares, though I think the thread is just about dead:

I don't know who all you people are, but the way you all came around to help someone you don't even know who is going through a rough time makes me hope for humanity a little. I hope in some way we can repay you all someday.


Oh, you'll pay. You wait.

YOU WAIT AND SEE.

/still posting babby pics, so..
 
2013-07-15 02:13:40 PM  

LlamaGirl: I want to make scrambled eggs with tit milk.


farkied
 
2013-07-15 02:27:56 PM  
Done. Congrats on the baby and good luck.
 
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