If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Fark)   One of our own needs help. Please see DIT about a mother-to-be that needs a hand   (fark.com) divider line 590
    More: Sad  
•       •       •

689 clicks; posted to FarkUs » on 15 Jul 2013 at 1:08 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



590 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-07-15 12:48:44 PM

ontariolightning: Okay. Thank you. I am going to help out because people who can't buy beer deserve help.


Weirdest justification ever.
 
2013-07-15 12:48:46 PM
Meh. I just thought some might get a giggle. I will take my "roll" elsewhere.
 
2013-07-15 12:48:53 PM

rappy: squirt milk in the toileti>

This porno sucks.

 
2013-07-15 12:48:57 PM

rappy: F*ck, I don't want babies.


The world thanks you for this.
 
2013-07-15 12:48:58 PM

rappy: LlamaGirl: I'd be hard pressed to say no to feeling something weird like that.

Seriously it was one of those things where you touch and then you quickly pull away and yell "AHH!!!"

And then you touch it again to make sure it is real. And it was so gross/weird because she would have to leave to the bathroom to squirt milk in the toilet.

F*ck, I don't want babies.


But I want to fill you with my seed.  HAVE MY BABIES, RAPPY!
 
2013-07-15 12:49:16 PM

ontariolightning: kiwimoogle84: ontariolightning: My donation depends on the answer to this question. Despite your money troubles have you still been buying alcohol? (Obviously the dude would be drinking it)

Haven't since my last hospitalization. The only beers he's had at all recently are those that someone else bought him. We were a month behind on registering our car, we don't have spare cash for that nonsense.

Okay. Thank you. I am going to help out because people who can't buy beer deserve help.


HA! I wasn't expecting that response. You're hilarious. :)
 
2013-07-15 12:49:43 PM

rappy: LlamaGirl: ...hard??? WHY!?

Dude, they are full of milk! Like seriously, I felt weird about grabbing her tits in the bar but I couldn't help myself. She kept pushing them my way and said "JUST FEEL THEM"

How do you say no to that?


"Sorry, I'm lactose-intolerant."

*shrug*
 
2013-07-15 12:49:59 PM

ontariolightning: Okay. Thank you. I am going to help out because people who can't buy beer deserve help.


hahaha
 
2013-07-15 12:50:13 PM

rappy: And it was so gross/weird because she would have to leave to the bathroom to squirt milk in the toilet.


apollokidz.com
 
2013-07-15 12:50:19 PM

wizden: rappy: squirt milk in the toileti>

This porno sucks.


Is 'Visitor Q' really considered a porno?
 
2013-07-15 12:50:24 PM

rappy: FunkOut: I think if you are getting mad you are being emotionally available. But I might be wrong.

And I thought sociopaths were considered cool these days. Who knew it was an insult? Hrrm, try to make a random remark and people take it to heart.

I want to cuddle your face with my mouth.


Every so often I get the impression you don't understand what certain words mean...
 
2013-07-15 12:50:32 PM

wizden: rappy: squirt milk in the toileti>

This porno sucks.


She did through a glory hole.  Stick with the clip til the end.
 
2013-07-15 12:50:52 PM

wizden: rappy: squirt milk in the toileti>

This porno sucks.


Hardest I've laughed all day.
 
2013-07-15 12:51:02 PM

GladGirl: rappy: With such expensive hospital bills, it seems like maybe you don't have insurance... which why have a child with no insurance? If you do, you really need a better plan.

Even supposedly "good" plans can have astronomical out-of-pocket maxes. My Blue Shield 80/20 PPO carried a $4,500 out-of-pocket max, which in a normal year I wouldn't even get close to touching, but with a pregnancy/birth that cost $38,000, plus another $40-50,000 in pre-adjusted costs for a two-day stay in the NICU, I quickly hit the max. And the kicker is that they count the baby as a whole new person on the insurance, so he was subject to a $4,500 out-of-pocket max himself.


THIS. I am hoping to save up $10k for this reason before having kids because in an instant I could be in this exact same situation. Of course, that won't cover me if lose my job or become disabled or something. Even for people in a good financial situation with an emergency fund, stuff can happen quickly and you can lose a lot. You Farkers rock for helping one of your own- this thread has brought tears to my eyes.
 
2013-07-15 12:51:04 PM

imapirate: LlamaGirl: rappy: I will say, my friend recently had a baby, and holy sh*t her tits are hard.

...hard??? WHY!?

Full of milk and fatty stuff, yo.


Oh god, they hurt so much at that stage.  The first couple of weeks after childbirth are just disgusting. You reguarly wake up covered in up to 7 body fluids.
 
2013-07-15 12:51:23 PM

Eutamias21: CatherineM: ontariolightning: My donation depends on the answer to this question.

Now this is interesting. Why does it depend?

The same reason people think welfare recipients should be drug tested.


Only certain types of welfare, usually the kind the person advocating the testing doesn't accept.

I've yet to hear one of those dipshiats saying people should be required to get tested for taking student loans, or an FHA loan, or the child care tax credit, or mortgage interest deduction and all the other forms of middle class welfare society tries to pretend isn't welfare, even though they're examples of the government offering some sort of assistance using public money as reimbursement for, or subsidizing of individual decisions.
 
2013-07-15 12:51:34 PM

rappy: And it was so gross/weird because she would have to leave to the bathroom to squirt milk in the toilet.


If you were a real friend, you would have said, "Just squirt it right here in my drink."
 
2013-07-15 12:51:46 PM

wizden: rappy: squirt milk in the toileti>

This porno sucks.


lmfao

oh wizzy you doof
 
2013-07-15 12:52:18 PM

CatherineM: ontariolightning: My donation depends on the answer to this question.

Now this is interesting. Why does it depend?


There are irresponsible broke people who aren't prioritized and then there are responsible broke people who know their priorities but just get screwed over. I believe they are responsible/ prioritized people who were dealt hard times. That's why.
 
2013-07-15 12:52:22 PM
This thread got weird.
 
2013-07-15 12:52:29 PM

rappy: LlamaGirl: I'd be hard pressed to say no to feeling something weird like that.

Seriously it was one of those things where you touch and then you quickly pull away and yell "AHH!!!"

And then you touch it again to make sure it is real. And it was so gross/weird because she would have to leave to the bathroom to squirt milk in the toilet.

F*ck, I don't want babies.


Don't have them. The difficult parts are really difficult and unless you really want them, it's not worth it. The biggest thing is how much time they take up.

Boobs are like rock hard the first month because the whole milk production cycle isn't quite sorted out. Too much gets made.
 
2013-07-15 12:52:30 PM

God Is My Co-Pirate: Oh god, they hurt so much at that stage. The first couple of weeks after childbirth are just disgusting. You reguarly wake up covered in up to 7 body fluids.


Vomit
Pee
Poop
Milk
Tears
Snot
Drool

Is that right?
 
2013-07-15 12:52:36 PM

ahab: rappy: And it was so gross/weird because she would have to leave to the bathroom to squirt milk in the toilet.

If you were a real friend, you would have said, "Just squirt it right here in my drink."


I used to be very fond of white russians.

Not anymore.
 
2013-07-15 12:53:27 PM

Ponzholio: wizden: rappy: squirt milk in the toileti>

This porno sucks.

Is 'Visitor Q' really considered a porno?


Now that was a f*cked up Wikipedia page.
 
2013-07-15 12:53:29 PM

rappy: FunkOut: I think if you are getting mad you are being emotionally available. But I might be wrong.

And I thought sociopaths were considered cool these days. Who knew it was an insult? Hrrm, try to make a random remark and people take it to heart.

I want to cuddle your face with my mouth.


Facehugger alien?
 
2013-07-15 12:53:40 PM
I may have made a white Russian with breast milk in the past.
 
2013-07-15 12:53:57 PM

ahab: rappy: And it was so gross/weird because she would have to leave to the bathroom to squirt milk in the toilet.

If you were a real friend, you would have said, "Just squirt it right here in my drink."


Your black russian is about to become a white russian.
 
2013-07-15 12:53:57 PM

kiwimoogle84: ahab: rappy: And it was so gross/weird because she would have to leave to the bathroom to squirt milk in the toilet.

If you were a real friend, you would have said, "Just squirt it right here in my drink."

I used to be very fond of white russians.

Not anymore.


I was about to say... that is a screwed up white russian.
 
2013-07-15 12:54:35 PM

ahab: rappy: And it was so gross/weird because she would have to leave to the bathroom to squirt milk in the toilet.

If you were a real friend, you would have said, "Just squirt it right here in my drink."


It would go nicely with some Kahlua.
 
2013-07-15 12:54:46 PM

Aarontology: Eutamias21: CatherineM: ontariolightning: My donation depends on the answer to this question.

Now this is interesting. Why does it depend?

The same reason people think welfare recipients should be drug tested.

Only certain types of welfare, usually the kind the person advocating the testing doesn't accept.

I've yet to hear one of those dipshiats saying people should be required to get tested for taking student loans, or an FHA loan, or the child care tax credit, or mortgage interest deduction and all the other forms of middle class welfare society tries to pretend isn't welfare, even though they're examples of the government offering some sort of assistance using public money as reimbursement for, or subsidizing of individual decisions.


When you think about it, drug testing defense contractors makes a lot more sense than welfare recipients.
 
2013-07-15 12:55:24 PM
This thread got *really* weird.
 
2013-07-15 12:56:38 PM

imontheinternet: When you think about it, drug testing defense contractors makes a lot more sense than welfare recipients.


A buddy of mine works for one. Depending on the contract, the guys on the line building stuff can be subject to random drug tests, or be required to take one before they begin work on the project.

The guys in the office? Not so much.
 
2013-07-15 12:56:42 PM

Huck Chaser: "Questioning" implies asking questions. Most of what I've seen in this thread is just pointless mockery.


Well. I hope she's better at baby once the kid arrives. The legitimate needs of the expectant mother and/or someone with high hospital bills seems to be one of a few things pretty much everyone agrees about and/or has an open wallet for... there are bound to be many local resources for this, the hospital itself being a notable source. I know from experience they will work with you pretty much forever regarding medical debt. I just don't see the pressing need for the Internet to factor in here at all.
 
2013-07-15 12:56:59 PM
I want to make scrambled eggs with tit milk.
 
2013-07-15 12:57:28 PM

ontariolightning: There are irresponsible broke people who aren't prioritized and then there are responsible broke people who know their priorities but just get screwed over. I believe they are responsible/ prioritized people who were dealt hard times. That's why.


Prioritized and responsible according to your standards?
 
2013-07-15 12:57:30 PM

KingoftheCheese: I may have made a white Russian with breast milk in the past.


img827.imageshack.us
 
2013-07-15 12:58:22 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-07-15 12:58:44 PM

Aarontology: imontheinternet: When you think about it, drug testing defense contractors makes a lot more sense than welfare recipients.

A buddy of mine works for one. Depending on the contract, the guys on the line building stuff can be subject to random drug tests, or be required to take one before they begin work on the project.

The guys in the office? Not so much.


That's just great.  There could be cokeheads out there on a 3-day bender building experimental weaponry for the military.
 
2013-07-15 12:59:30 PM
Breast milk adds something to the bedroom fun.
 
2013-07-15 12:59:51 PM

xanadian: This thread got *really* weird.


And I helped!
 
2013-07-15 01:00:20 PM

spcMike: Breast milk adds something to the bedroom fun.


Good god man
 
2013-07-15 01:01:23 PM

LlamaGirl: God Is My Co-Pirate: Oh god, they hurt so much at that stage. The first couple of weeks after childbirth are just disgusting. You reguarly wake up covered in up to 7 body fluids.

Vomit
Pee
Poop
Milk
Tears
Snot
Drool

Is that right?


And blood and sweat.  All the water weight (about 1/3 of total pregancy weight gain) comes right out again through night sweats.
 
2013-07-15 01:01:53 PM

imontheinternet: That's just great. There could be cokeheads out there on a 3-day bender building experimental weaponry for the military.


Or being given billions of dollars with relatively little oversight.
 
2013-07-15 01:02:12 PM
It's a good thing no one is being graphic. That might just break the internet.
 
2013-07-15 01:03:06 PM
Can't wait to see the liter reaction to this clusterf*ck.
 
2013-07-15 01:03:26 PM
So if I am reading the topic correctly.  You are offering an opportunity for people to work in lending a hand.  In other words, you are offering them a hand job.

That's an appeal I believe most Farkers will get behind.
 
2013-07-15 01:03:53 PM
I tend to never stimulate the nipples of a female human being too much, regardless if they have ever had kids or not.  You just never know what is going to come out of those things.
 
2013-07-15 01:04:04 PM

KingoftheCheese: I may have made a white Russian with breast milk in the past.



i576.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-15 01:04:19 PM

Tat'dGreaser: spcMike: Breast milk adds something to the bedroom fun.

Good god man


Don't knock it till you try it.
 
2013-07-15 01:04:33 PM

Mr. Murder: I tend to never stimulate the nipples of a female human being too much, regardless if they have ever had kids or not.  You just never know what is going to come out of those things.


Well f*ck this thread, I'm out
 
Displayed 50 of 590 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report