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(Huffington Post)   The City of Detroit has a persistent, terrible problem. Okay, two problems. Three, I mean four, five, do I hear five problems? Five? Five to the arsonist in the back   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 113
    More: Misc, city services, Detroit, National Association of Insurance Commissioners, arson investigators, property value, Detroit Fire Department, emergency managers, Kevyn Orr  
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4167 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Jul 2013 at 12:50 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



113 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-07-15 12:53:16 PM
99? But a biatch ain't one?
 
2013-07-15 12:53:37 PM
Well, eventually they'll run out of vacant buildings.

Right?
 
2013-07-15 12:55:34 PM
You know, a 40-year Viking Funeral is a hell of a way to go.

RIP, US Industry; 1866 - 1973.
 
2013-07-15 12:56:01 PM
It used to be just the rivers burning in Detroit.
 
2013-07-15 12:56:15 PM
They took Cincinnati's police chief, who did a good job there, so things should get better soon.
 
2013-07-15 12:56:19 PM
Actually, Detroit only has one problem:

N_ggers.


/can I buy a vowel?
 
2013-07-15 12:56:26 PM
www.cardinalfang.net

Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Our *three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.... Our *four*...no... *Amongst* our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise.... oh, I'll come in again.
 
2013-07-15 12:56:47 PM
Nobody expects the Arson Investigation!
 
2013-07-15 12:57:11 PM

dv-ous: Well, eventually they'll run out of vacant buildings.

Right?


Orrrr... They could spawn a conflagration, it might actually burn down the entire city of Detroit.
 
2013-07-15 12:58:19 PM
No, it really does have just one problem: It's Detroit.

Trying to boil it down to specific issues is just needless pedantry.
 
2013-07-15 12:58:30 PM

Dick Gozinya: Actually, Detroit only has one problem:

N_ggers.


/can I buy a vowel?


Do Detroitians annoy you?
 
2013-07-15 12:59:06 PM

dv-ous: Well, eventually they'll run out of vacant buildings.

Right?


One might think.  One would be wrong.

When I see a dilapidated, abandoned building, I think, "wow, no one's torched that yet?"  Then I remember that's really not the normal course of business outside of Detroit and a few other nearby towns.
 
2013-07-15 12:59:42 PM
He also said the city has a 50/50 chance of a bankruptcy filing, a decision he is expected to reach as soon as this month.

Jokes aside, I was not aware of this and while Detroit sounds like a hellhole of the first order, this is pretty sad. Good luck, Detroit farkers. I'm sure you will need it. :(
 
2013-07-15 01:00:17 PM

Dick Gozinya: Actually, Detroit only has one problem:

N_ggers.


/can I buy a vowel?


White dudes LOVE setting things on fire too. Its more of a behavior of angst-ridden youths with no real opportunity. Feeling that you truly have nothing to lose will make people do some pretty wild stuff.
 
2013-07-15 01:00:23 PM
Meh.  Ghost towns have existed forever.  When your economy relies on one thing be it a mine or auto manufacturing, you're going to rise and fall with that industry.  Detroit was a boomtown for the first half of the 20th century and a declining power for the second.

Unfortunately, you're going to read a lot of posts in this thread arguing how some particular thing is actually to blame for this.  It's called confirmation bias.
 
2013-07-15 01:00:50 PM

iheartscotch: dv-ous: Well, eventually they'll run out of vacant buildings.

Right?

Orrrr... They could spawn a conflagration, it might actually burn down the entire city of Detroit.


millions of dollars in improvements.
 
2013-07-15 01:03:12 PM

Crewmannumber6: They took Cincinnati's police chief, who did a good job there, so things should get better soon.


One can hope.  However, that's been said before, after any number events.
 
2013-07-15 01:03:48 PM
Did I read that right? A house is $5000?
 
2013-07-15 01:03:51 PM
OCP....make it so!
 
2013-07-15 01:03:55 PM
Rapmaster2000


Meh. Ghost towns have existed forever. When your economy relies on one thing be it a mine or auto manufacturing, you're going to rise and fall with that industry.

Midwest oil boom towns will be next... give it 20 years.
 
2013-07-15 01:04:54 PM
FTA:
In a city that averages about 14 arsons a day, there are only 11 arson investigators, down from more than 20 in 2009.

"A fire is not determined to be arson until an arson investigator makes that determination," Austin told Reuters. "Arson investigators are investigating the scene of only 20 percent of all fires."



What I'm taking from this is that the number is actually probably much higher than 14 a day. Also, I think HUD is federally funded, so people will still be receiving money for food stamps and housing when there are no places to buy food.

I'm genuinely interested in what happens in that case. Not because I'm a bleeding-heart liberal, just out of morbid curiosity.
 
2013-07-15 01:05:12 PM

The Irresponsible Captain: It used to be just the rivers burning in Detroit.


That was Cleveland.

farm5.staticflickr.com
 
2013-07-15 01:07:03 PM
Is it Devil's Night already?
 
2013-07-15 01:09:49 PM
JohnnyCanuck: 99? But a biatch  match  ain't one?

FTFY
 
2013-07-15 01:10:11 PM
When are they going to green light Delta City?
 
2013-07-15 01:10:15 PM

Random Anonymous Blackmail: Rapmaster2000


Meh. Ghost towns have existed forever. When your economy relies on one thing be it a mine or auto manufacturing, you're going to rise and fall with that industry.

Midwest oil boom towns will be next... give it 20 years.


That's probably a good estimate.  I actually dig ghost towns so this type of thing is interesting to me.
 
2013-07-15 01:10:24 PM
I've got a cunning plan.

We convince the world that we have build the ultimate missile defense/offensive nuclear arsenal/biological terror weapon base right in the middle of Detroit.  When the shiat hits the fan (if it ever does), an inordinate amount of enemy resources will be spent attacking Detroit rather than more useful targets.
 
2013-07-15 01:11:39 PM
Obviously they need to forget about Mayor Bing and just call in Mayor Google
 
2013-07-15 01:12:06 PM

dv-ous: The Irresponsible Captain: It used to be just the rivers burning in Detroit.

That was Cleveland.

[farm5.staticflickr.com image 570x432]


I remember that campaign, back in the '80s, when well over a million still lived in the city.
 
2013-07-15 01:12:47 PM

thecpt: Did I read that right? A house is $5000?


It sounds like a sweet deal until you find out how fast it gets burned down. $5000 is awfully high for a week's rent.
 
2013-07-15 01:13:38 PM
Now, now, lay off Detroit, them people is living in Mad Max times.
 
2013-07-15 01:14:39 PM
media.mlive.com
Now, now, lay off Detroit. Them people is living in 'Mad Max' times.
 
2013-07-15 01:15:21 PM
crap... i just haaad to find the picture :D
 
2013-07-15 01:16:08 PM

The Irresponsible Captain: It used to be just the rivers burning in Detroit.


It could have, but Cleveland beat them too it.

Detroit had an arson problem for years.  "Devil's Night" was a real thing there in the 80-90's.  It was even part of the plot in "The Crow".
 
2013-07-15 01:16:18 PM

thecpt: Did I read that right? A house is $5000?


Many of them are, few are over 25,000-30,000.

You have to remember it was a city planned for over 2 million people and it's got less than 700,000 in it after the economic decline. The banks just want to recoup some cost. Any cost. Buhler?
 
2013-07-15 01:16:44 PM
Proposal to solve immigration reform and inner-city decay with one stone:

Offer a pathway to citizenship for undocumented workers provided they reside continuously for an extended period of time in one of these houses in specified areas (in Detroit and other afflicted cities), don't commit any felonies, and pay their taxes.  Let them buy the houses with no down-payment.

This will staunch the decay of the housing stock (and may even lead to its improvement).  It will add to the city's tax base.  It will improve neighborhoods - residents attract businesses.  It will decrease crime - fewer vacant houses means fewer houses available to be used by druggies and prostitutes.

The houses in these areas are so cheap already that it's clear that you can't even give them away.  What you need to do is create a strong incentive for (law-abiding) people to buy these houses and occupy them.
 
2013-07-15 01:19:29 PM

thecpt: Did I read that right? A house is $5000?


5,000$ is a lot of money when you have no job.
 
2013-07-15 01:20:22 PM
"A fire is not determined to be arson until an arson investigator makes that determination,"

Easy solution.  Just fire all the arson investigators.  No more arson problem.

You're welcome, Detroit.
 
2013-07-15 01:21:41 PM

Nonrepeating Rotating Binary: I've got a cunning plan.

We convince the world that we have build the ultimate missile defense/offensive nuclear arsenal/biological terror weapon base right in the middle of Detroit.  When the shiat hits the fan (if it ever does), an inordinate amount of enemy resources will be spent attacking Detroit rather than more useful targets.


Wouldn't work. When they go to target it, they would mistakenly believe it's already been hit. Repeatedly.
 
2013-07-15 01:22:26 PM
Arthur Brown seen running away, giggling.
 
2013-07-15 01:23:02 PM

awalkingecho: thecpt: Did I read that right? A house is $5000?

Many of them are, few are over 25,000-30,000.

You have to remember it was a city planned for over 2 million people and it's got less than 700,000 in it after the economic decline. The banks just want to recoup some cost. Any cost. Buhler?


I bet a lot of those bank-owned properties are worth far less in reality than they are on paper. They're been sitting unoccupied for years, with minimal-to-no maintenance, with damage caused by water, termites, carpenter ants, vermin, etc.
 
2013-07-15 01:23:16 PM

EdgeRunner: thecpt: Did I read that right? A house is $5000?

It sounds like a sweet deal until you find out how fast it gets burned down. $5000 is awfully high for a week's rent.


Best case is that you're getting $5000 for a house that's only partially covered in trash and feces located in the worst neighborhood you could imagine.

Back in the 80s my Dad opened a sales office in Detroit. We set it up one weekend. It was located in this completely abandoned office building. Absolutely gorgeous, I think about eight stories. I spent the entire weekend wandering the building which was basically open once you got in the front door. I don't know when it had been shuttered but it seemed like 20+ years earlier judging by the dust and furniture, which was gorgeous. We borrowed a ton of beautiful old furniture for the new office. I assume my Dad got a screaming deal on rent.

Outside the building, the neighborhood was deserted. Weeds, empty lots, the occasional boarded up building. The only thing around seemed to be a fried chicken joint.
 
2013-07-15 01:23:19 PM

The Irresponsible Captain: It used to be just the rivers burning in Detroit.


Fun times in Cleveland again!



cache.deadspin.com

"welcome to Detroit. Biatches, leave."

 
2013-07-15 01:24:08 PM

LazerFish: [media.mlive.com image 380x247]
Now, now, lay off Detroit. Them people is living in 'Mad Max' times.


Hmmm, a minute late, but you had the picture...
 
2013-07-15 01:24:14 PM

Mr. Holmes: [www.cardinalfang.net image 360x254]

Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Our *three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.... Our *four*...no... *Amongst* our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise.... oh, I'll come in again.


Shakes  tiny gloved fist
 
2013-07-15 01:24:39 PM

Doc Daneeka: Proposal to solve immigration reform and inner-city decay with one stone:

Offer a pathway to citizenship for undocumented workers provided they reside continuously for an extended period of time in one of these houses in specified areas (in Detroit and other afflicted cities), don't commit any felonies, and pay their taxes.  Let them buy the houses with no down-payment.

This will staunch the decay of the housing stock (and may even lead to its improvement).  It will add to the city's tax base.  It will improve neighborhoods - residents attract businesses.  It will decrease crime - fewer vacant houses means fewer houses available to be used by druggies and prostitutes.

The houses in these areas are so cheap already that it's clear that you can't even give them away.  What you need to do is create a strong incentive for (law-abiding) people to buy these houses and occupy them.


That won't get your lawn mowed, your house painted, or your vegetables picked.

Also, there aren't any industrial jobs for those people to make money. That's why Detroit is in it's current predicament.
 
2013-07-15 01:26:29 PM
www.fivefeetoffury.com
Oblig
 
2013-07-15 01:26:53 PM
Budget gets cut 20%... get rid of 33% of force and cut every other firefighters salary by 10%.

Hmmmmmmmmmm..........
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2013-07-15 01:27:38 PM
i120.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-15 01:27:52 PM
Oblig
a.kym-cdn.com
 
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