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(Daily Mail)   Feel like getting cancer of the bowels? Eat sweets, fast food, and soft drinks. But drinking just 4 cups of coffee a day will protect you Confused? You won't be after today's episode of "Junk Science News"   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 110
    More: Amusing, bowels, cancers  
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6545 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Jul 2013 at 12:12 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



110 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-07-15 10:31:01 AM
img.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-15 11:05:21 AM
And now I've got the music in my head, which I don't really mind.
 
2013-07-15 11:07:58 AM
The comments section is great.

I love how people act like the jury is still out on the possible negative health effects of being a fat tub of goo who drinks sh*tloads of soda, eats processed foods, and doesn't exercise.
 
2013-07-15 11:13:28 AM
And Now, Here's Ian!
 
2013-07-15 11:18:36 AM
Sh*t I won't stand for:

Half and half in my coffee
Fluoride in my water
Sugar in my Diet Coke
France in my fries
Arsenic in my old lace
Centipedes in my vagina

Soybean oil and HFCS in my everything is OK though.
 
2013-07-15 11:27:02 AM
MY BOWELS ARE IMMORTAL!
 
2013-07-15 11:36:44 AM

sigdiamond2000: The comments section is great.

I love how people act like the jury is still out on the possible negative health effects of being a fat tub of goo who drinks sh*tloads of soda, eats processed foods, and doesn't exercise.


It's like our bodies' 'opinions' do not matter.  I know how I feel when I'm eating healthy, have my weight under control, and get regular exercise.
 
2013-07-15 11:37:50 AM
As for coffee, if it works for others like it does me, cancer cells don't have the time to proliferate in my bowels.  Cause anything in there is coming out.
 
2013-07-15 12:00:21 PM
So I should be neutral?  I eat processed foods and sweets but I also have about a 24 ounce coffee every morning.

Or should I have more coffee?
 
2013-07-15 12:07:23 PM
I drink black coffee, diet sodas (body doesn't like HFCS), occasionally eat sweets and fast food. Will I survive or not?
 
2013-07-15 12:10:47 PM
On a long enough time line, the survival rate for everybody drops to zero.

/cut out salting my food a few years ago
//started drinking water with a goal as that being 75% of my fluid intake on a daily basis
///just started trying to cut out deep fried food and red meat
////next up, more fresh foods
 
2013-07-15 12:12:00 PM

SurfaceTension: On a long enough time line, the survival rate for everybody drops to zero.

/cut out salting my food a few years ago
//started a year ago drinking water with a goal as that being 75% of my fluid intake on a daily basis
///just started trying to cut out deep fried food and red meat
////next up, more fresh foods

//also started seriously exercising in december; down nearly 30 lbs since then.
 
2013-07-15 12:14:09 PM

SurfaceTension: SurfaceTension: On a long enough time line, the survival rate for everybody drops to zero.

/cut out salting my food a few years ago
//started a year ago drinking water with a goal as that being 75% of my fluid intake on a daily basis
///just started trying to cut out deep fried food and red meat
////next up, more fresh foods
//also started seriously exercising in december; down nearly 30 lbs since then.


That's awesome.  I need to be more dedicated.  I usually do this kind of thing for a couple weeks and then slack off a bit, losing no weight but not gaining any.
 
2013-07-15 12:14:44 PM
Just 4 cups of coffee a day?

Good lord, you people have caffeine addictions.
 
2013-07-15 12:15:00 PM

SurfaceTension: //started drinking water with a goal as that being 75% of my fluid intake on a daily basis


I found out I like club soda, I just need the fizz from soft drinks.
 
2013-07-15 12:16:45 PM

Mr. Coffee Nerves: MY BOWELS ARE IMMORTAL IMMACULATE!



FTFY

/I assume that's a quote from The Road to Wellville
//Matthew Broderick did some great work in the 90s
///The Night We Never Met, etc
 
2013-07-15 12:17:29 PM
Sybarite:
And now I've got the music in my head, which I don't really mind.


Yeah, I started whistling the tune the second I read the Fark headline. It is catchy.
 
2013-07-15 12:17:47 PM

simplicimus: I drink black coffee, diet sodas (body doesn't like HFCS), occasionally eat sweets and fast food. Will I survive or not?


I have it on good authority that someday you will too die.

I also have it on good authority that if you changed all of your habits and diet that someday you will also die too.
 
2013-07-15 12:18:42 PM
If I had 4 cups of coffee a day I'd never get off of the toilet.  No wonder it helps: you just shiat out any tumor that even attempts to grow.
 
2013-07-15 12:18:48 PM

bdub77: Sh*t I won't stand for:

Half and half in my coffee
Fluoride in my water
Sugar Aspartame in my Diet Coke
France in my fries
Arsenic in my old lace
Centipedes in my vagina

Soybean oil and HFCS in my everything is OK though.


FTFY.

Internet people seem to be very concerned with aspartame.
 
2013-07-15 12:19:37 PM
www.hilaryshepherd.com
 
2013-07-15 12:20:11 PM
I dunno.  If I eat most fast food (like say McDonalds), I feel like pooping afterwards - which I do.  So maybe none of the carcinogenic effect stays in my body.

That's my junk science contribution to this thread.
 
2013-07-15 12:21:38 PM

Sybarite: And now I've got the music in my head, which I don't really mind.


Ditto -- just as long as it stops before I go to bed (probably won't).
 
2013-07-15 12:22:37 PM

And now this comment is INVISIBLE!


i1.ytimg.com

 
2013-07-15 12:22:55 PM

bdub77: Sh*t I won't stand for:

Half and half in my coffee
Fluoride in my water
Sugar in my Diet Coke
France in my fries
Arsenic in my old lace
Centipedes in my vagina

Soybean oil and HFCS in my everything is OK though.


It's more likely than you think.
 
2013-07-15 12:23:09 PM
Um, what was the article about again?

i.dailymail.co.uk

Oh, right...Victoria Secret models in bikinis.  Got it.
 
2013-07-15 12:24:21 PM
4 cups of coffee a day is great... until that day that you only get a chance to drink 1 or 2 cups.

Ugh... "no-coffee" headaches are the worst.
 
2013-07-15 12:26:19 PM

chewd: 4 cups of coffee a day is great... until that day that you only get a chance to drink 1 or 2 cups.

Ugh... "no-coffee" headaches are the worst.


Also known as "addiction withdrawal."
 
2013-07-15 12:28:44 PM
So if you drink 4 of those fru fru coffees with chocolate and whipped cream, does it just balance out.

/ stand back, my junk is doing science
 
2013-07-15 12:29:08 PM
You just have to make sure you add in something healthy to cancel out the bad stuff:

I ate an apple, so now I can smoke a pack.

It's math, people.
 
2013-07-15 12:29:14 PM

netweavr: Just 4 cups of coffee a day?

Good lord, you people have caffeine addictions.


I'm around 6 cups (6 oz) a day.  Plus the occasional cup or 5 of chai.  Back in college, I was more like 15-20 cups of coffee a day.  Farking love coffee and tea.

/don't drink soda, of any kind, for the last 4 years
//do drink a couple gallons of milk a week, still
///slashies, groups of three
 
2013-07-15 12:29:38 PM
Clearly what that article was trying to get across, is that bacon is by far the best health food out there.

So what about folks that don't have my gift of can knock back a pot and fall dead asleep at night?  There are plenty of people I've met who can't have more than 1 cup else feel uncomfortably wired all day.  I know the feeling with sugar since I cut most of it out of my diet.  When I eat it when I don't need it, heart is pounding out of my chest and I can't sit down.
 
2013-07-15 12:30:27 PM

sigdiamond2000: The comments section is great.

I love how people act like the jury is still out on the possible negative health effects of being a fat tub of goo who drinks sh*tloads of soda, eats processed foods, and doesn't exercise.


Willful ignorance in order to validate a lifestyle choice. Some people actually claim that indulging your desire to eat a carton of donuts or an entire bucket of chicken is healthy because "your body is telling you what you need" (google "intuitive eating")
 
2013-07-15 12:31:58 PM
"Junk science".
Oh. So it has opinions from "dieticians" and "nutritionists" then?
 
2013-07-15 12:32:09 PM
Who cares if my bowl gets cancer?  I'm eating cereal out of it, not eating the bowl itself.
 
2013-07-15 12:33:05 PM
I drink 4 things in no particular order:
Water, OJ, coffee, and beer.  CSB I know.
 
2013-07-15 12:33:46 PM
Pop pez
Don't stop
Drink Tab (carbonic acid)
And if the government tells your ass to jump
Walk nowhere
Never trust whole grain flour
Cause in the final hour
You're no more than a foe
With no Coke
Who don't matter

Pop pez
Pop pez
Pop pez
 
2013-07-15 12:34:13 PM

AdolfOliverPanties: SurfaceTension: SurfaceTension: On a long enough time line, the survival rate for everybody drops to zero.

/cut out salting my food a few years ago
//started a year ago drinking water with a goal as that being 75% of my fluid intake on a daily basis
///just started trying to cut out deep fried food and red meat
////next up, more fresh foods
//also started seriously exercising in december; down nearly 30 lbs since then.

That's awesome.  I need to be more dedicated.  I usually do this kind of thing for a couple weeks and then slack off a bit, losing no weight but not gaining any.


I found that varying my routine helps keep me going. Also, my exercise mainly focuses on boosting my metabolism. Although I do some weight lifting, it's light to moderate and not designed to build significant muscle. That will start when I'm down another 50-60 lbs, so maybe next summer.

Right now I start off with warm up stretching, then 10 minutes of aerobic activity (usually stairmaster or bike) going as hard as I can to get to 90-95% of my max heart rate, then I do 20 minutes of weights and 30 minutes of walking with my heart rate around 70-75% of max. The weight lifting I usually do between 5-8 different exercises doing timed pyramids. Basically start off with light weights doing reps for 45 seconds, then increase weight a notch and do 30 seconds, and increase another notch for 15 seconds or to failure. I did legs on Saturday and am still feeling it.

The other thing I've found is that I go through periods (like weeks to maybe a month or two) of barely any weight loss, then periods where 5-10 lbs will come off in 2-3 weeks. So don't get frustrated if it isn't starting to come off right away. I'm at present in a period where I'm shedding weight and I'm down like 6 lbs since the middle of June.
 
2013-07-15 12:37:11 PM

Skarekrough: simplicimus: I drink black coffee, diet sodas (body doesn't like HFCS), occasionally eat sweets and fast food. Will I survive or not?

I have it on good authority that someday you will too die.

I also have it on good authority that if you changed all of your habits and diet that someday you will also die too.


I have not illusions about my mortality. I would prefer to avoid a painful death. Or a stupid death.
 
2013-07-15 12:37:21 PM
The only thing that confuses me is your bad punctuation.
 
2013-07-15 12:38:39 PM

RoyHobbs22: I drink 4 things in no particular order:
Water, OJ, coffee, and beer.  CSB I know.


That's my basic list. Occasionally some green tea and my only real endulgence, Minute Maid Light Lemonade ("Made with Real Lemon" - as opposed to what exactly?)
 
2013-07-15 12:39:51 PM

Skarekrough: I have it on good authority that someday you will too die.

I also have it on good authority that if you changed all of your habits and diet that someday you will also die too.


"I'm going to die someday, so I may as well be miserable while I'm alive."
 
2013-07-15 12:39:53 PM
Does today's junk science news include any information on how to get global warming without, you know, the warming part? Oh wait....
 
2013-07-15 12:39:55 PM
I don't drink four cups of coffee a day because I want to protect myself from bowel cancer. I drink four cups of coffee a day because I have a two-year-old.
 
2013-07-15 12:40:53 PM
u are what u eat.  guess i better eat people
 
2013-07-15 12:41:40 PM
FTA: Coffee, however, seemed to help. Those who drank lots of it had an 8 per cent lower risk of developing bowel cancer than those who did not. A previous study credited four cups a day with lowering the risk by a quarter.

However, other research has failed to find any benefit. Any benefits could be due to plant compounds in coffee. It may also provide protection by keeping the bowels active.

Edinburgh University researcher Dr Evropi Theodoratou said her study stops short of proving that sugary and fatty snacks cause the disease and other, bigger studies are needed.
 
2013-07-15 12:43:08 PM

Gene Masseth Jr.: If I had 4 cups of coffee a day I'd never get off of the toilet.  No wonder it helps: you just shiat out any tumor that even attempts to grow.


A cup of plain hot water will trigger a bowel movement just as well as coffee.
 
2013-07-15 12:45:57 PM
www.phdcomics.com
 
2013-07-15 12:46:43 PM

sigdiamond2000: The comments section is great.

I love how people act like the jury is still out on the possible negative health effects of being a fat tub of goo who drinks sh*tloads of soda, eats processed foods, and doesn't exercise.


Uhm, I'm not fat or gooey and eat the above. I think it is fair to say everyone reacts differently to the things they put into their body.

You said it yourself the negative effects are POSSIBLE not guaranteed.
 
2013-07-15 12:48:21 PM
www.northernsun.com
 
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