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(Salon)   Turns out, the real Jesus wasn't a peaceful preacher seeking reform; he just wanted to overthrow Roman rule so he could become king of Judea. Or so one Islamic "journalist" would have you believe   (salon.com) divider line 88
    More: Unlikely, jesus, Judea, zealotries, subsistence agriculture, religious studies, Christian theology, Greek philosophers, images of Jesus  
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1775 clicks; posted to Geek » on 15 Jul 2013 at 12:38 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-07-14 09:33:05 PM  
"zealous Galilean peasant and Jewish nationalist who donned the mantle of the messiah and launched a foolhardy rebellion against the corrupt Temple priesthood and the vicious Roman occupation,"

Sounds like a good read.

There is no way this is not gonna cause epic, nay BIBLICAL amounts of butthurt.
 
2013-07-14 09:34:52 PM  
Maybe, but at least he didn't little girls.

Yeah, I said it.
 
2013-07-14 09:35:28 PM  
Didn't diddle little girls, that is.

Now I said it.
 
2013-07-14 09:56:15 PM  
Who can really say with any authority?

I certainly don't know. I'll probably never know*

*unless I ascend or descend... even then...

FTFM
 
2013-07-14 09:57:16 PM  
like Jesus and I are gonna rap about his "salad" days
 
2013-07-14 10:03:30 PM  

Nabb1: Maybe, but at least he didn't little girls.

Yeah, I said it.


And he certainly didn't accidentally the whole thing, either.
 
wee [TotalFark]
2013-07-14 10:11:19 PM  
Arguing over imaginary people is farking retarded.
 
2013-07-14 10:14:28 PM  
¿qué?
 
2013-07-14 10:17:09 PM  
i1079.photobucket.com
 That creep can roll, man...
 
2013-07-14 10:21:20 PM  

PhiloeBedoe: [i1079.photobucket.com image 850x478]
 That creep can roll, man...


You said it man, no one farks with the Jesus!
 
2013-07-14 10:21:31 PM  
Who gives a shiat? I mean even if this isn't some douchebag trying to sell books. how does this affect me?
 
2013-07-14 10:51:39 PM  
Seems legit.

Well, no less legit than any other "historical Jesus" anyone else has pulled from their ass.
 
2013-07-14 11:03:53 PM  
The trained and experienced warrior came to display certain attributes. These include enhanced awareness, calmness in the face of danger and death, perception, emotional control, objectivity, integrity of character, and the ability to make rapid, accurate decisions followed by proper and timely action even in situations that would horrify and mentally overwhelm most people. This adds up to an ability to think and act at one's maximum capacity when the danger is greatest.

Jesus would have displayed all of these. Perfectly disciplined, resolute in the face of death. Bent on conquest. Master strategisit having outwitted all of Satans schemes. A fierce fighter against sin. In complete control mentally, physically, emotionall and spiritually.

Many warriors were hardened, bloodthirsty and merciless. Jesus was the ultimate warrior being able to perfectly hate, but love perfectly as well. He could be soft as velvet and as hard as steel.

We in the west have limited knowledge of a monarchy...it will be a rule by a king that has absolute power...no democracy: where the "wisdom" of popular opinion turns the laws of right and wrong upside down as so evident in our culture.... it will be non-compromising.
 
2013-07-14 11:54:42 PM  
The latest to try is Reza Aslan, a professor of creative writing with a background in religious studies

He's lyin'.
 
2013-07-15 12:03:08 AM  

syrynxx: The latest to try is Reza Aslan, a professor of creative writing with a background in religious studies

He's lyin'.


[icwotudidthere]
 
2013-07-15 12:10:03 AM  

Lionel Mandrake: Seems legit.

Well, no less legit than any other "historical Jesus" anyone else has pulled from their ass.


You mean like the bible?

/Sorry, couldn't resist?
 
2013-07-15 12:45:36 AM  

RedPhoenix122: Lionel Mandrake: Seems legit.

Well, no less legit than any other "historical Jesus" anyone else has pulled from their ass.

You mean like the bible?


Yes.  I was including God's Ass
 
2013-07-15 12:45:36 AM  

Nabb1: Didn't diddle little girls, that is.

Now I said it.


2damnfunny.com
 
2013-07-15 12:51:44 AM  

Nabb1: Maybe, but at least he didn't little girls.

Yeah, I said it.


Aisha, I want you to know, I'M A MURDERER.
 
2013-07-15 12:56:27 AM  

propasaurus: The trained and experienced warrior came to display certain attributes. These include enhanced awareness, calmness in the face of danger and death, perception, emotional control, objectivity, integrity of character, and the ability to make rapid, accurate decisions followed by proper and timely action even in situations that would horrify and mentally overwhelm most people. This adds up to an ability to think and act at one's maximum capacity when the danger is greatest.

Jesus would have displayed all of these. Perfectly disciplined, resolute in the face of death. Bent on conquest. Master strategisit having outwitted all of Satans schemes. A fierce fighter against sin. In complete control mentally, physically, emotionall and spiritually.

Many warriors were hardened, bloodthirsty and merciless. Jesus was the ultimate warrior being able to perfectly hate, but love perfectly as well. He could be soft as velvet and as hard as steel.

We in the west have limited knowledge of a monarchy...it will be a rule by a king that has absolute power...no democracy: where the "wisdom" of popular opinion turns the laws of right and wrong upside down as so evident in our culture.... it will be non-compromising.


I remember a high school girlfriend that was a Catholic that said "the Bible never said that Jesus ever had a hard-on, but if He did, it would have been the most perfect ever." That sort of thing sticks with you, luckily to make snarky fark posts years later to say that apparently, being the Son of God and everything, EVERYTHING He would do, He would do perfectly. By definition.
 
2013-07-15 12:59:24 AM  
Luke 19:27

But those my enemies, who would not that I should reign over them, bring here, and slay them before me.
 
2013-07-15 01:01:43 AM  
www.coverbrowser.com

www.knight-lomas.com


Hardly a new assertation...
 
2013-07-15 01:02:04 AM  
If Jesus did get executed by the Romans, it wasn't because the Jews turned him over.   In their own faith, they could have very well stoned Jesus if he was preaching heresy. And the Romans wouldn't have executed him over an internal Jewish religious problem. Herod had plenty of room to rule Israel the way he thought best, as long as he paid Caesar his due.

Rome would have crucified Jesus for leading an armed rebellion though.

Mathew 10


10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.10:37 He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.
Luke 10
 But into whatsoever city ye enter, and they receive you not, go your ways out into the streets of the same, and say,10:11 Even the very dust of your city, which cleaveth on us, we do wipe off against you: notwithstanding be ye sure of this, that the kingdom of God is come nigh unto you.10:12 But I say unto you, that  it shall be more tolerable in that day for Sodom, than for that city.10:13 Woe unto thee, Chorazin! woe unto thee, Bethsaida! for if the mighty works had been done in Tyre and Sidon, which have been done in you, they had a great while ago repented, sitting in sackcloth and ashes.10:14 But it shall be more tolerable for Tyre and Sidon at the judgment, than for you.10:15 And thou, Capernaum, which art exalted to heaven, shalt be thrust down to hell.
 Luke 22:36He that hath no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one.
 
2013-07-15 01:02:08 AM  
There are a grand total of two references to Jesus found in near-contemporary, non-religious historical chronicles, and both of them are of debated veracity.  Any attempt to determine what the 'historical Jesus' was like is a laughably stupid goose chase, especially when your portrayal is one that goes wildly against the account in the Gospel.

And since this account doesn't appear to line up at all with the Quranic interpretation either, I'm willing to bet that subby's paranoid fears of the author perpetrating some evil Muslim agenda by attacking Jesus are wrong too.
 
2013-07-15 01:05:09 AM  

Nabb1: Maybe, but at least he didn't little girls.

Yeah, I said it.


But his father might of.  There has been some argument that the word 'virgin' is a mistranslation or at least a literal translation of the original work.  The argument is that it actually means 'young', Mary was a young mother... which for that period in history probably means somewhere between 11 - 14 years old.
 
2013-07-15 01:06:29 AM  
OK there is one big problem here. Ancient Judea has been well documented by credible historians and still is, and what this author claims about ancient judea and its culture (nothing about his Jesus stuff, just his claims about the culture is what i am dealing with) go against the writings of every credible work on the topic  as well as every one of the contemporary Roman Historians at the period like Pliny, Josephus, Livy,Cassius Dio  and countless other eye-witnesses . This guy is just a hack who has a PhD in sociology aka the joke of academia.

This book is considered the gold standard in academia on the topic as is used in thousands of undergraduate classes each year. The Author Dr. Lawrence Schiffman who used to run the Jewish History part of the history dept at NYU as well as their Jewish Studies dept.

d.gr-assets.com
he also wrote
img2.imagesbn.com

this book is what we in my graduate history program call "pop-crap" poorly researched agenda driven books by people who lack the proper credential that people beleive because the average reader is an idiot who doesn't realize the author is crap. The Professors of antiquity are weeping over this crap
 
2013-07-15 01:08:11 AM  

Vaneshi: Nabb1: Maybe, but at least he didn't little girls.

Yeah, I said it.

But his father might of.  There has been some argument that the word 'virgin' is a mistranslation or at least a literal translation of the original work.  The argument is that it actually means 'young', Mary was a young mother... which for that period in history probably means somewhere between 11 - 14 years old.


Actually 12-20 according to most scholars on the period of the bible as well as language and cultural experts
 
2013-07-15 01:10:28 AM  
Or maybe just an apocalyptic prophet. Da Joos love their eschatological handwringing.
 
2013-07-15 01:20:23 AM  

Scythed: There are a grand total of two references to Jesus found in near-contemporary, non-religious historical chronicles, and both of them are of debated veracity.  Any attempt to determine what the 'historical Jesus' was like is a laughably stupid goose chase, especially when your portrayal is one that goes wildly against the account in the Gospel.

And since this account doesn't appear to line up at all with the Quranic interpretation either, I'm willing to bet that subby's paranoid fears of the author perpetrating some evil Muslim agenda by attacking Jesus are wrong too.


Actually most historians beleive that the Josephus accounts are later forgeries added into Josephus' work (in the world of non-historians who write history and call them selves "historians" it is accepted but in Academia it is not, with a few exceptions and one or two prominent who do beleive it is genuine). They note that they not only don't fit into the part of Josephus thet are in (wrong era and topic) but it is of a different writing style and some of the oldest known copies of Josephus do not have it and it only appears later and is modified over time to make it fit in better but still it doesn't really fit in. There is one Jewish writing about a Yeshu ben Miri who started a break off religious cult around himself, but he would have died about 100 years before the Christian Jesus, though there were many messianic cults that all were very similar at the time. the Nazarines (early Christians) had one difference, they converted non-jews and were well organized and Paul folded them into Christianity, and most scholars beleive that this Yeshu was the founder of an older cult, and not the Christian Jesus
 
2013-07-15 01:20:50 AM  
Muslims believe Jesus was a Prophet.  Just putting that out there.  Islam and Christianity have way more in common than most of their followers realize.
 
2013-07-15 01:29:37 AM  
Wait... wasn't that (according to the common Gospel accounts) exactly what the rabbis were trying to convince Pilate that Jesus was up to so as to have him executed? I mean, it sounds this guy is reporting the book of Mark as news.
 
2013-07-15 01:30:52 AM  

tjsands1118: Nabb1: Didn't diddle little girls, that is.

Now I said it.

[2damnfunny.com image 500x301]


♪♫ You gotta pay the troll toll, to get into this boy's hole ♫♪
 
2013-07-15 01:31:58 AM  

LockeOak: it sounds this guy is reporting the book of Mark as news.


It's not news, it's Mark
 
2013-07-15 01:36:41 AM  

Lionel Mandrake: RedPhoenix122: Lionel Mandrake: Seems legit.

Well, no less legit than any other "historical Jesus" anyone else has pulled from their ass.

You mean like the bible?

Yes.  I was including God's Ass


so you're saying God did write the bible?
 
2013-07-15 01:40:38 AM  

Vaneshi: Nabb1: Maybe, but at least he didn't little girls.

Yeah, I said it.

But his father might of.  There has been some argument that the word 'virgin' is a mistranslation or at least a literal translation of the original work.  The argument is that it actually means 'young', Mary was a young mother... which for that period in history probably means somewhere between 11 - 14 years old.


What do I know about diamonds? Don't they come from Antwerp?
 
2013-07-15 01:46:25 AM  

Lionel Mandrake: tjsands1118: Nabb1: Didn't diddle little girls, that is.

Now I said it.

[2damnfunny.com image 500x301]

♪♫ You gotta pay the troll toll, to get into this boy's hole ♫♪


encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
 
2013-07-15 01:50:29 AM  

stonelotus: Lionel Mandrake: RedPhoenix122: Lionel Mandrake: Seems legit.

Well, no less legit than any other "historical Jesus" anyone else has pulled from their ass.

You mean like the bible?

Yes.  I was including God's Ass

so you're saying God did write the bible?


Yes.  And God also pulled all of Creation out of His Ass.

But I'm not sure whose ass God came from.
 
2013-07-15 01:54:39 AM  
Oh yeah, you can really tell he was bent on being king of Israel when Pilate asked him "Are you the King of the Jews?" and he said "Yep."

Or no wait.  No, he didn't.  So I guess this writer is just stupid.
 
2013-07-15 01:56:59 AM  
Eh, considering what some less-chill Christians have written about the prophet Mohammed (peace be upon him and my chill Muslim college roomie,) I'm willing to raise the shoulders of 'meh' in a peaceable shrug at Muslims doing essays or even fanfiction about Jesus.

If roomie and I can put aside the nations of our birth, wildly different college majors, completely different taste in men, food and fashion as well as our very different faiths and become close friends based on What Is Really Important, then there is hope for peace in the world.

We just need to persuade absolutely everyone to become a Pittsburgh Steelers fan.
 
2013-07-15 02:33:19 AM  
There's a book called Operation: Messiah that has a similar thesis.

It was a pretty good book.
 
2013-07-15 02:34:38 AM  

jedihirsch: Scythed: There are a grand total of two references to Jesus found in near-contemporary, non-religious historical chronicles, and both of them are of debated veracity.  Any attempt to determine what the 'historical Jesus' was like is a laughably stupid goose chase, especially when your portrayal is one that goes wildly against the account in the Gospel.

And since this account doesn't appear to line up at all with the Quranic interpretation either, I'm willing to bet that subby's paranoid fears of the author perpetrating some evil Muslim agenda by attacking Jesus are wrong too.

Actually most historians beleive that the Josephus accounts are later forgeries added into Josephus' work (in the world of non-historians who write history and call them selves "historians" it is accepted but in Academia it is not, with a few exceptions and one or two prominent who do beleive it is genuine). They note that they not only don't fit into the part of Josephus thet are in (wrong era and topic) but it is of a different writing style and some of the oldest known copies of Josephus do not have it and it only appears later and is modified over time to make it fit in better but still it doesn't really fit in. There is one Jewish writing about a Yeshu ben Miri who started a break off religious cult around himself, but he would have died about 100 years before the Christian Jesus, though there were many messianic cults that all were very similar at the time. the Nazarines (early Christians) had one difference, they converted non-jews and were well organized and Paul folded them into Christianity, and most scholars beleive that this Yeshu was the founder of an older cult, and not the Christian Jesus


Believe
 
2013-07-15 02:50:22 AM  
...Assuming Jesus ever existed, of course.
 
2013-07-15 03:06:12 AM  

WhyteRaven74: LockeOak: it sounds this guy is reporting the book of Mark as news.

It's not news, it's Mark


High five.
 
2013-07-15 03:08:10 AM  
Jesus was a salesman, and when he died he died the death of a salesman, in his green velvet slippers on the smoker of the New York New Haven Hartford, going into Boston, and when he died, hundreds of salesmen and buyers were at his funeral.
i229.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-15 03:45:23 AM  

wee: Arguing over imaginary people is farking retarded.


Nerds do it with superheros and all that crap all the time.

/batman>superman
 
2013-07-15 03:59:19 AM  
Well, everyone knows Jesus died on the cross. What this book presupposes is... maybe he didn't.
 
2013-07-15 04:43:11 AM  

Nabb1: Didn't diddle little girls, that is.

Now I said it.


There is no 'winner' in the contest of which bronze age prophet to believe in.
 
2013-07-15 04:52:00 AM  

Lionel Mandrake: RedPhoenix122: Lionel Mandrake: Seems legit.

Well, no less legit than any other "historical Jesus" anyone else has pulled from their ass.

You mean like the bible?

Yes.  I was including God's Ass


The historical basis for Christianity is obvious to anyone willing to see it.

Shepard 1: Dude, sheep are so boooooring.
Shepard 2: Duuuude, I know.  Good thing I brought this flask.
2 hours later...
Shepard 1: Dude, I bet you three denarius I can get people to hate each other for no reason and follow random nonsensical rules for no reason other than being told to.
Shepard 2: Why would you want to do that?
Shepard 1: Dunno...I'm bored.  Don't you think it would be interesting to see how far we can get people to go?
2000 years later...
Masturbation is a sin!  Only families I like are allowed!  Geology is fake!  Women should do what they're told!  Those other idiots believe in a different book about the same thing that we believe in!  Kill them!
In his grave...
Shepard 1: I didn't know...I'm so, so sorry...
 
2013-07-15 05:06:02 AM  
Well, it makes more sense given the time and place than pretty much any other "historical Jesus" explanation. It's still like debating whether Thor could beat Freyja at arm wrestling though.

Call me when there is an actual contemporary historical reference to anything invented Jesus said or did.

/won't be waiting for the call
//made up Jesus is make believe
 
2013-07-15 05:39:39 AM  
Can a fictional character even do that?
 
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