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(Daily Mail)   Today's Fark-ready headline : "Bride's sister left with a broken nose during mass wedding brawl after being knocked out by her uncle following buffet scramble for a piece of chicken"   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 88
    More: Amusing, broken nose, lorry driver, Mr Hughes, Great Yarmouth, uncles, Police transport  
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10706 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Jul 2013 at 9:11 PM (51 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



88 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-07-14 09:12:43 PM
Bride Karyssa Smethurst, 28, of Gorleston, Norfolk, who is eight months pregnant, then had to drive her sister Krystel to hospital after an ambulance failed to turn up.
The groom, Ben Smethurst, 26, said the brawl started at the buffet table after his brother reached over to get a piece of chicken for his 11-year-old son.


Sounds like Britain has its very own Alabama.
 
2013-07-14 09:13:41 PM

rumpelstiltskin: Sounds like Britain has its very own Alabama.


This.
 
2013-07-14 09:19:17 PM
msdramatv.com

I told you not to touch the big piece of chicken
 
2013-07-14 09:19:17 PM
Oh Pippa.
 
2013-07-14 09:19:48 PM
The Aristocrats?
 
2013-07-14 09:19:59 PM
I've never been to a wedding in England. I didn't realize they were so interesting.
 
2013-07-14 09:20:43 PM
Unless that family family tree looks like a walking stick, I don't think the groom's brother is the same as the bride's uncle...
 
2013-07-14 09:21:17 PM
Please don't be black, please don't be black, YESSSSSSS!
 
2013-07-14 09:21:47 PM
Wow, it's like Onslow's family from that Brit show, Keeping Up Appearances.
 
2013-07-14 09:21:48 PM
i1148.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-14 09:24:35 PM
The name krystel spelled any way is in the top 5 of most WT names, this was bound to happen.
 
2013-07-14 09:28:48 PM
A wedding where there was a fight over chicken....the whole wedding party sounds fat. Ill bet they played convoy when the bridesmaids came in.
 
2013-07-14 09:29:37 PM
They don't look like Pikeys...
 
2013-07-14 09:31:02 PM
i184.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-14 09:33:57 PM
How is she eight months pregnant before marriage?
 
2013-07-14 09:33:57 PM

i15.servimg.comSirEattonHogg: Wow, it's like Onslow's family from that Brit show, Keeping Up Appearances.

 
2013-07-14 09:43:20 PM
Bride Karyssa Smethurst, 28, of Gorleston, Norfolk, who is eight months pregnant...

This story has everything.
 
2013-07-14 09:47:21 PM
It's a nice day for a... chav wedding.


mrswood: The name krystel spelled any way is in the top 5 of most WT names, this was bound to happen.


Also the bride: Karyssa Smethurst. Creative name spelling never ends well.
 
2013-07-14 09:48:37 PM
Wow...I thought it was just us that rolled like that.
WTF is happening to England??
 
2013-07-14 09:49:45 PM

Kanemano: [msdramatv.com image 398x297]

I told you not to touch the big piece of chicken



Came in here for that, thank you

/ yo momma gon lose her damn mind if you touch the big piece a chicken
 
2013-07-14 09:53:21 PM
Did anyone else read that headline with the strains of the hoedown from Copeland's Billy the Kid running through their head?
 
2013-07-14 09:56:02 PM

Flashlight: How is she eight months pregnant before marriage?


When a man and a woman like each other very much . . .
 
2013-07-14 09:57:36 PM
Mother-of-three Krystel suffered broken nose and two black eyes

Biatch done got told three times.
 
2013-07-14 10:00:48 PM

Flashlight: How is she eight months pregnant before marriage?


Magic?
 
2013-07-14 10:03:07 PM
Dirax2:Wow...I thought it was just us that rolled like that.
WTF is happening to England??



You do realize that not everyone in the UK speaks with proper BBC English accent, went to boarding school and has titles of nobility?

Someone has to be the peasant.
 
2013-07-14 10:03:56 PM

quatchi: Bride Karyssa Smethurst, 28, of Gorleston, Norfolk, who is eight months pregnant...

This story has everything.


And even more scandalous, she's 8 months pregnant and wearing white!
 
2013-07-14 10:06:06 PM

Serious Black: The Aristocrats?


Damnit! I came here to say this!
 
2013-07-14 10:08:36 PM

mrswood: The name krystel spelled any way is in the top 5 of most WT names, this was bound to happen.


Middle name is probably Meth (attributed to True Blood)
 
2013-07-14 10:10:29 PM
Onslow is much higher class than those folks, and he watches Open University. I was thinking Pikeys as well -- but not sure.

In any case, they apparently have rednecks in the UK as well.
 
2013-07-14 10:10:47 PM

eldie: quatchi: Bride Karyssa Smethurst, 28, of Gorleston, Norfolk, who is eight months pregnant...

This story has everything.

And even more scandalous, she's 8 months pregnant and wearing white!


No it's ok, it's not Labor Day yet.
 
2013-07-14 10:10:48 PM
They held the reception at Chuck E. Cheese?
 
2013-07-14 10:11:15 PM

FrancoFile: They don't look like Pikeys...


Chavs. Do they think talking to the press makes the family look better? Can't understand why they'd want to air their dirty laundry.
 
2013-07-14 10:12:23 PM
"Hell YEAH I hit that!" - Uncle Curt
 
2013-07-14 10:15:49 PM

Flashlight: How is she eight months pregnant before marriage?


Leprechauns did it.
 
2013-07-14 10:17:17 PM
Chavs: Britain's answers to Okies
 
2013-07-14 10:17:30 PM
qlenfq:   Onslow is much higher class than those folks, and he watches Open University. I was thinking Pikeys as well -- but not sure.

In any case, they apparently have rednecks in the UK as well.



We Americans have this bizarre inferiority complex when it comes to our British cousins.  It must be the Royals and all those Masterpiece Theater (or Theatre) shows on PBS.

I recommend people watch:  "Swansea Love Story" on VICE.
 
2013-07-14 10:18:04 PM

abrown: Please don't be black, please don't be black, YESSSSSSS!


Nah dude, black folkes are way more into chicken than that.

http://m.nbcwashington.com/nbcwashing ton/pm_107901/contentdetail.htm? c ontentguid=3b5kk6VL
 
2013-07-14 10:19:21 PM

quatchi: Bride Karyssa Smethurst, 28, of Gorleston, Norfolk, who is eight months pregnant...

This story has everything.


i.perezhilton.com
 
2013-07-14 10:32:14 PM

qlenfg: Onslow is much higher class than those folks, and he watches Open University. I was thinking Pikeys as well -- but not sure.

In any case, they apparently have rednecks in the UK as well.


Onslow was once shown in bed, reading a book titled: "Principles Of Condensed Matter Physics"

He wouldn't be caught dead with this lot.
 
2013-07-14 10:34:29 PM
Whose broken noes did she leave with?

/drtfa
 
2013-07-14 10:35:20 PM
White people's problems
 
2013-07-14 10:38:56 PM
Color, me surprised......


HA!
 
2013-07-14 10:40:11 PM
To be fair, we take queue etiquette very seriously in Britain.
 
2013-07-14 10:57:33 PM
Normally I say the guy cutting in line deserved it, but he was getting food for his 11 year old son, probably to keep the kid occupied because he was bored to tears. WTF, uncle? And why no pics of him?! :(
 
2013-07-14 10:59:11 PM

limeyfellow: To be fair, we take queue etiquette very seriously in Britain.


True, and I appreciated that when I was over there. In the U.S. it is not uncommon for some jerk to save spots for several friends -- and no one else in line will help you out if you stand up to them.
 
2013-07-14 11:05:18 PM

limeyfellow: To be fair, we take queue etiquette very seriously in Britain.


That's fine, but have the tact to take the fight outside.

My dad took my older brother's mom's hubby (bro is from my dad's first marriage) outside and worked him over good and rejoined my bro's wedding reception while wearing a tux.  He handled it so well my bro still doesn't know about it.  I found out much later.  To my dad's credit, he beat the guy for beating my bro's mom.  Exwife or not, you don't beat a woman around dad.
 
2013-07-14 11:15:43 PM
It took me a minute but I came up to speed.  Good on your dad for handling things in a discreet manner.  No matter how badly things end, if you had kids with your ex, you still gotta keep an eye out...
 
2013-07-14 11:18:00 PM

zerkalo: Chavs: Britain's answers to Okies


EABOD.
 
2013-07-14 11:18:55 PM
In his defense, the chicken was really good
 
2013-07-14 11:22:42 PM
These people are in their 20s????
 
2013-07-14 11:30:07 PM

El Dudereno: zerkalo: Chavs: Britain's answers to Okies

EABOD.


Meh. Whom did I insult more?
 
2013-07-14 11:31:20 PM
 
2013-07-14 11:35:07 PM
i.dailymail.co.uk

s3-ec.buzzfed.com
 
2013-07-14 11:35:19 PM
Not so bad, a buddy of mine in hamilton ontario had a stabbing at his wedding. He punched out the guy that did the stabbing.

geuss it is no surprise they were only married briefly
 
2013-07-14 11:35:27 PM
Concentrate on the old, new and borrowed - we've got the blue covered...
i.dailymail.co.uk
 
2013-07-14 11:35:39 PM
cdn-www.i-am-bored.com
 
2013-07-14 11:36:17 PM
stuffkenyanshate.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-07-14 11:36:53 PM

qlenfg: Onslow is much higher class than those folks, and he watches Open University. I was thinking Pikeys as well -- but not sure.

In any case, they apparently have rednecks in the UK as well.


Anywhere you have hills you have hill folk.
 
2013-07-14 11:44:20 PM
niggamemes.com
 
2013-07-14 11:45:51 PM
So this is where he ended up after wrestling
members.shaw.ca
 
2013-07-14 11:47:56 PM
i.dailymail.co.uk
images3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-07-14 11:49:47 PM
Yer, bu, no, bu, yer, bu, no, bu...

tomofthailand.files.wordpress.com

SHAA UHHH!
 
2013-07-14 11:53:17 PM
I almost forgot the original series...

Link
 
2013-07-14 11:54:30 PM
okay, should i feel bad upon reading the headline my first thought was the deep south of the good ol USA?
 
2013-07-15 12:01:05 AM

BolshyGreatYarblocks: Did anyone else read that headline with the strains of the hoedown from Copeland's Billy the Kid Rodeo running through their head?



If they had been fighting over beef, maybe it would have.
 
2013-07-15 12:03:15 AM
Does anyone remember when people thought of Britain as a sophisticate, intellectual and refined culture? America used to be full of anglophiles.  Now, thanks to globalization (reading their news, watching their tv), I think of Britain as being inhabited solely by Vicky Pollard types who have contributed nothing valuable to Western Culture in at least 60 years.  They are like the Mississippi (or insert whatever State you think of being all redneck) of Europe.
 
2013-07-15 12:17:22 AM
"I told you that was some dang fine chi kin."
 
2013-07-15 12:18:52 AM
i.dailymail.co.uk

I just wanted to commend the National Health Service for the fine job they did reducing that fracture. It doesn't look like she got punched now, no, it looks like she took a cricket bat to the face. Given the quality of the bruising she looks like she's about 3 weeks out and since noses set in about 2 weeks she's stuck with a damn dog leg in the middle of her face now.
 
2013-07-15 12:35:31 AM

Flashlight: How is she eight months pregnant before marriage?


Uh, the better question is "why would anyone GET it pregnant?"
 
2013-07-15 12:44:04 AM

Vector R: Normally I say the guy cutting in line deserved it, but he was getting food for his 11 year old son, probably to keep the kid occupied because he was bored to tears. WTF, uncle? And why no pics of him?! :(


They named just about everyone else, but not the kid

I'm going for Darryl. It's about only one missing.
 
2013-07-15 12:50:25 AM
Nah, he still deserved it. Unless the 11 year old was about to go into a diabetic coma, he can line up like everyone else.
 
2013-07-15 01:00:16 AM

OscarTamerz: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 295x515]

I just wanted to commend the National Health Service for the fine job they did reducing that fracture. It doesn't look like she got punched now, no, it looks like she took a cricket bat to the face. Given the quality of the bruising she looks like she's about 3 weeks out and since noses set in about 2 weeks she's stuck with a damn dog leg in the middle of her face now.


If only she had a gun
 
2013-07-15 01:27:51 AM
Wow. I thought this kind of thing was only allowed in Ireland.

/absolutely positive that alcohol wasn't involved
 
2013-07-15 05:50:07 AM

Old Man Winter: Does anyone remember when people thought of Britain as a sophisticate, intellectual and refined culture? America used to be full of anglophiles.  Now, thanks to globalization (reading their news, watching their tv), I think of Britain as being inhabited solely by Vicky Pollard types who have contributed nothing valuable to Western Culture in at least 60 years.  They are like the Mississippi (or insert whatever State you think of being all redneck) of Europe.


Well that's not quite true. What happened is one day a few years ago we were all reading our newspapers, drinking tea, just home from work at the bank, having stopped to feed the birds, tuppence a bag, on the way home, followed by a hearty dance with chimney sweeps, when we turned on the television and saw Jersey Shore. In the space of 10 minutes our entire culture sank to your level. At least we haven't descended so far we happily eat a yellowy plastic material and pretend it's cheese.

Or we could just mutually agree to not judge our respective countries on the worst dregs one can find.
 
2013-07-15 06:27:43 AM

Slaxl: Old Man Winter: Does anyone remember when people thought of Britain as a sophisticate, intellectual and refined culture? America used to be full of anglophiles.  Now, thanks to globalization (reading their news, watching their tv), I think of Britain as being inhabited solely by Vicky Pollard types who have contributed nothing valuable to Western Culture in at least 60 years.  They are like the Mississippi (or insert whatever State you think of being all redneck) of Europe.

Well that's not quite true. What happened is one day a few years ago we were all reading our newspapers, drinking tea, just home from work at the bank, having stopped to feed the birds, tuppence a bag, on the way home, followed by a hearty dance with chimney sweeps, when we turned on the television and saw Jersey Shore. In the space of 10 minutes our entire culture sank to your level. At least we haven't descended so far we happily eat a yellowy plastic material and pretend it's cheese.

Or we could just mutually agree to not judge our respective countries on the worst dregs one can find.


 That is pretty good. When you think the worst  of the worst of American culture is American Cheese
eating, life isn't so bad..
 
2013-07-15 06:56:15 AM

Fuggin Bizzy: rumpelstiltskin: Sounds like Britain has its very own Alabama.

This.


Given that inbreeding has been an issue (hobby?) in the fens since before Columbus set sail, I think it's rather more the case that Alabama is the USA's Norfolk.

chaosweaver: Unless that family family tree looks like a walking stick, I don't think the groom's brother is the same as the bride's uncle...


Again, Norfolk. What part of that is so hard for Americans to understand?

Norfolk Virgin : An ugly girl, under fifteen, who can run faster than her brothers
 
2013-07-15 07:26:55 AM

OscarTamerz: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 295x515]

I just wanted to commend the National Health Service for the fine job they did reducing that fracture. It doesn't look like she got punched now, no, it looks like she took a cricket bat to the face. Given the quality of the bruising she looks like she's about 3 weeks out and since noses set in about 2 weeks she's stuck with a damn dog leg in the middle of her face now.


Yeah, whatta tragedy. Really mars her beauty.
 
2013-07-15 07:28:03 AM

limeyfellow: To be fair, we take queue etiquette very seriously in Britain.


29.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-07-15 07:40:38 AM

OscarTamerz: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 295x515]

I just wanted to commend the National Health Service for the fine job they did reducing that fracture. It doesn't look like she got punched now, no, it looks like she took a cricket bat to the face. Given the quality of the bruising she looks like she's about 3 weeks out and since noses set in about 2 weeks she's stuck with a damn dog leg in the middle of her face now.


If only the people who taught you everything there is to know about facial fractures had also taught you to read the farking article;

TFA: A Norfolk Police spokesperson said: 'Police were called to Caldecott Hall Hotel in Fritton, near Great Yarmouth, shortly before midnight on Friday 5 July following reports of a disturbance.
 
2013-07-15 07:50:42 AM

BolshyGreatYarblocks: Did anyone else read that headline with the strains of the hoedown from Copeland's Billy the Kid running through their head?


I love Copeland, but no.
 
2013-07-15 07:59:28 AM

Mr. Shabooboo: That is pretty good. When you think the worst  of the worst of American culture is American Cheese
eating, life isn't so bad..


2 things we take seriously. Queue etiquette and cheese. 

/I was keeping it light.
 
2013-07-15 08:16:21 AM
i.dailymail.co.uk

forum-img.pinside.com
 
2013-07-15 08:52:41 AM

Dirkax2: Wow...I thought it was just us that rolled like that.
WTF is happening to England??


That nothing. If this had happened below the Mason-Dixion line you can bet at least one person would be going the the hospital with rock salt in his butt.
 
2013-07-15 09:14:55 AM

Slaxl: Mr. Shabooboo: That is pretty good. When you think the worst  of the worst of American culture is American Cheese
eating, life isn't so bad..

2 things we take seriously. Queue etiquette and cheese. 

/I was keeping it light.


I think we can agree that "light" cheese is an abomination..
 
2013-07-15 09:44:06 AM

Fuggin Bizzy: rumpelstiltskin: Sounds like Britain has its very own Alabama.

This.



Hey, cock blocking is a problem everywhere.
 
2013-07-15 10:01:54 AM
Reaching in front without saying excuse me? That's a brawling. I'm getting a kick out of these replies since I took the big piece of fried chicken at dinner last night.
 
2013-07-15 12:36:35 PM
Geez.  While I do agree the response was a bit over the top (should have taken it outside, man to man) the "Best Man"  (No way does "best" imply someone who jumps queue) was definitely in the wrong.  You don't just cut in.   Even if it's for the kid.  The kid's 11 for chrissakes...he's old enough to get his own damn food.

Precious f'in snowflakes.

The brawl sucks and all, but the best man deserved to get his ass kicked.
 
2013-07-15 05:05:21 PM
My racial profiling is off today.
 
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