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(Jezebel)   Remember when you were a little kid and you would check the toilet and bathtub for monsters? IT FINALLY HAPPENED   (jezebel.com) divider line 98
    More: Scary, bathrooms  
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24810 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Jul 2013 at 11:39 PM (40 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



98 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-07-14 07:11:30 PM
u checked the toilet for Kate Moss?
 
2013-07-14 07:14:30 PM
In my house, the monsters lived under the bed.
 
2013-07-14 07:19:19 PM
In my house the monster sat in the other room drinking Schlitz
 
2013-07-14 07:28:16 PM
Watch out for snakes!
 
2013-07-14 07:46:09 PM
There's only been one variety of "serpentine" mass coiled in my toilet
 
2013-07-14 09:34:47 PM
i39.tinypic.com
 
2013-07-14 09:35:05 PM
Him say you gonna die, Kemosabe.
 
2013-07-14 09:38:24 PM
They mostly come out at night. Mostly.
 
2013-07-14 09:43:22 PM
Oh god. At least his life should be all uphill from here on.
 
2013-07-14 10:26:11 PM

NewportBarGuy: [i39.tinypic.com image 188x267]


1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-07-14 10:31:30 PM
No, I don't remember that at all.

subby is a wuss
 
2013-07-14 11:08:29 PM
I've heard multiple stories of snakes in toilets in Malaysia.  Creepy.
 
2013-07-14 11:18:10 PM
IT
 
2013-07-14 11:41:15 PM
This is what happens when you get whipped into keeping the seat down.
 
2013-07-14 11:44:33 PM
Snakes! Why did it have to be snakes?
 
2013-07-14 11:45:43 PM

Lionel Mandrake: No, I don't remember that at all.

subby is a wuss


You are so lying.
 
2013-07-14 11:48:38 PM
Most of the hags that frequent Jezebel probably think he deserved it.
 
2013-07-14 11:49:02 PM

JasonOfOrillia: This is what happens when you get whipped into keeping the seat down.


Damn straight, honey we cant put the seat down. We have no idea what kind of sea monster could come swimming up out of it if we dont keep an eye on it.
 
2013-07-14 11:49:24 PM

JasonOfOrillia: This is what happens when you get whipped into keeping the seat down.


And when you sit down to pee.
 
2013-07-14 11:49:29 PM
tgwd.fireboxstudios.info
 
2013-07-14 11:49:52 PM
Ow my balls
 
2013-07-14 11:53:12 PM
"... snakes in this Monday to Friday toilet!!"
 
2013-07-14 11:55:33 PM
You can't tourniquet the taint!
 
2013-07-14 11:55:50 PM
I made the monsters, and I banished them.
 
2013-07-14 11:57:11 PM
The Daily Mail - a.k.a. The Quibbler, the Harry Potterverse tabloid run by Luna Lovegood's weird dad

I've heard the Mail called a lot of things but that's a first. What the hell does that even mean??
 
2013-07-14 11:58:22 PM
Wasn't that in Doctor No?
 
2013-07-15 12:00:42 AM
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-07-15 12:01:02 AM
Why is this in Jezebel?
 
2013-07-15 12:01:53 AM
Tired of these motherf**n snakes in this motherf**n toilet!
 
2013-07-15 12:02:35 AM
I couldn't stand to have a bath for a long time after I saw Jaws. I was literally afraid sharks would come up through the drain. I think I was 10 or 11, so I really feel like an idiot. To this day I will not get in water if I can't see the bottom.
 
2013-07-15 12:02:44 AM
1.bp.blogspot.com
Sleep tight, hope you don't have to wake up to take a dump.
 
2013-07-15 12:03:00 AM
seeing as though this is Jezebel, it probably ended up being some misogynist staring up from the water; and that was simply a reflection, not only of the urinator but of the patriarchal society that must be flushed away. Or some such.
 
2013-07-15 12:03:33 AM
That stupid Clown movie IT had me freaked out to take a dump for most of my childhood.  Now this?  WTF?
 
2013-07-15 12:04:04 AM

fusillade762: The Daily Mail - a.k.a. The Quibbler, the Harry Potterverse tabloid run by Luna Lovegood's weird dad

I've heard the Mail called a lot of things but that's a first. What the hell does that even mean??


Absolutely nothing, that title would have belonged to Mainichi Wai Wai. The Daily Mail has weird news and a particular political slant that our limey farkers never tire of pointing out.
 
2013-07-15 12:04:09 AM

lack of warmth: JasonOfOrillia: This is what happens when you get whipped into keeping the seat down.

And when you sit down to pee.


Without looking.

Seriously.  If you're about to sit down, on ANYTHING, without looking first, then you're just going junk-first into a deservedly awful situation.
 
2013-07-15 12:04:56 AM
We're that  my house, the  snake would be in the amberlamps.

/my dick bites snakes
 
2013-07-15 12:05:03 AM
d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net
 
2013-07-15 12:06:14 AM

uber humper: Why is this in Jezebel?


because...

robohobo: Most of the hags that frequent Jezebel probably think he deserved it.

 
2013-07-15 12:07:56 AM
I am shocked, shocked I tell you.  How in all of Hades did Jezebel not turn this into some sort of an anti-male rant?
 
2013-07-15 12:09:23 AM
Toilet bowl snake attacks on the rise!

http://www.uncoveror.com/potty.htm
 
2013-07-15 12:09:51 AM

NewportBarGuy: [i39.tinypic.com image 188x267]


I never watched that movie. I passed by the case for it once, once, as a child while looking for movies to rent. Nightmares about things in the toilet for years to come.

/fark you, Ghoulies
 
2013-07-15 12:12:03 AM
When my boy was 8 we were living in the south and I called him up to dinner one night. He said that he couldn't come upstairs. I yelled downstairs "why not"?  He said, "Cuz the snake won't let me!"

There was a small 3 foot copperhead coiled up in his doorway and he was safe up on the top bunk .. learning how to be a good little redneck.

I got more ..
 
2013-07-15 12:12:43 AM

Mock26: I am shocked, shocked I tell you.  How in all of Hades did Jezebel not turn this into some sort of an anti-male rant?


To be fair, a toilet snake has an chance of biting their readers floppy, beleaguered wizards sleeves.

Toilet snakes probably are equal opportunity.
 
2013-07-15 12:13:35 AM
NEVER PEEING AGAIN.
 
2013-07-15 12:15:21 AM
I call shenanigans. The article says the man claims he just went to take a piss, if we take him at his word he wouldn't have had his wiener close enough to the toilet to have been bitten by a snake in or even on the toilet. I think the man had something kinky going on here and the snake bit when the man's penis swelled with warm blood triggering the snake to act like it was prey. The man is a perv in my opinion.
 
2013-07-15 12:17:46 AM
I had a monster living in the toilet when I was renting a cheap flat with a friend about 15 years ago. You wouldn't believe me but there were dozens of greenish brown tentacles coming up and waving around whenever the toilet was flushed.

/true story
//it was probably some kind of algae
///we didn't use toilet bowl fresheners and we didn't clean the toilet with chemicals for years
////yeah, we were lazy and our parents didn't teach us the importance of toilet hygiene
 
2013-07-15 12:27:24 AM

Z1P2: I call shenanigans. The article says the man claims he just went to take a piss, if we take him at his word he wouldn't have had his wiener close enough to the toilet to have been bitten by a snake in or even on the toilet. I think the man had something kinky going on here and the snake bit when the man's penis swelled with warm blood triggering the snake to act like it was prey. The man is a perv in my opinion.


1. It was a really big snake.
2. He was, er, had a really big dick.
3. He was pooping, not peeing.
4. There was no snake, but he needed to explain to his wife the bite marks on his peener, and that was the best he could come up wiht.
 
2013-07-15 12:29:18 AM

Gyrfalcon: Z1P2: I call shenanigans. The article says the man claims he just went to take a piss, if we take him at his word he wouldn't have had his wiener close enough to the toilet to have been bitten by a snake in or even on the toilet. I think the man had something kinky going on here and the snake bit when the man's penis swelled with warm blood triggering the snake to act like it was prey. The man is a perv in my opinion.

1. It was a really big snake.
2. He was, er, had a really big dick.
3. He was pooping, not peeing.
4. There was no snake, but he needed to explain to his wife the bite marks on his peener, and that was the best he could come up wiht.


Was he mouthfarking a vampire? Or one of those fat chicks who have fake or filed fangs?
 
2013-07-15 12:29:41 AM

The My Little Pony Killer: NewportBarGuy: [i39.tinypic.com image 188x267]

I never watched that movie. I passed by the case for it once, once, as a child while looking for movies to rent. Nightmares about things in the toilet for years to come.

/fark you, Ghoulies


When I was 7 or so, I had a rather vivid nightmare of the psycho conductor from Terror Train shanking me through the ear...simply from seeing the image of the VHS cover in a Suncoast store salespaper.
 
2013-07-15 12:33:24 AM

Clutch2013: The My Little Pony Killer: NewportBarGuy: [i39.tinypic.com image 188x267]

I never watched that movie. I passed by the case for it once, once, as a child while looking for movies to rent. Nightmares about things in the toilet for years to come.

/fark you, Ghoulies

When I was 7 or so, I had a rather vivid nightmare of the psycho conductor from Terror Train shanking me through the ear...simply from seeing the image of the VHS cover in a Suncoast store salespaper.


dirtyhorror.com This biatch STILL gives me the willies. I think I was about 5 when the movie came out, and I remember the nightmares. She still pops up every now and again, and is just a horrifying.
 
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