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(AsiaOne)   There must be better ways to kill the devil than by setting your home on fire   (news.asiaone.com) divider line 56
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1984 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Jul 2013 at 9:38 AM (40 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-07-14 09:39:24 AM
No?
 
2013-07-14 09:42:55 AM
I've been assured that religion has never made anyone do anything bad, so he would have set his house on fire anyway, he's just using religion as an excuse.
 
2013-07-14 09:43:37 AM
Well, if you've gotta bring irony to a fight with the devil...
 
2013-07-14 09:44:25 AM
i500.listal.com
Fire? I was born of this!
 
2013-07-14 09:48:15 AM
I'd think that fire would ATTRACT the Devil.
 
2013-07-14 09:50:51 AM
Not that I've found subby, not that I've found.
 
2013-07-14 09:54:24 AM
You don't kill the devil, for one of two reasons:

1) you aren't the archangel Michael at Armageddon.

2) if you did kill him, you'd have to take his place.  All told, doesn't sound like a good career move.  Hours suck, you know you're going to lose at the end... and your workplace is always too hot.
 
2013-07-14 09:55:39 AM
So people in third-world countries have paranoid schizophrenia, too?  I've been told that only industrial and post-industrial societies have mental illnesses like these.
 
2013-07-14 09:56:49 AM
Well, that was stupid.  I've been assured that the best way to kill the devil is to eat at least a dozen freeze-dried money penises chased with ground up rhino horn.
 
2013-07-14 09:57:01 AM
No, actually, I think that's pretty much what's worked best for me.

Spray-painting all the neighbourhood dogs with an "X" in neon lavender worked pretty well, too, but that didn't seem to last as long as a good house burning.
 
2013-07-14 10:03:30 AM

Tyrone Slothrop: 've been assured that religion has never made anyone do anything bad,


Who the hell told you that?
 
2013-07-14 10:04:15 AM

Tyrone Slothrop: I've been assured that religion has never made anyone do anything bad, so he would have set his house on fire anyway, he's just using religion as an excuse.


Be careful waving that strawman around--he's flammable, too.
 
2013-07-14 10:07:38 AM
moarpowah.com
 
2013-07-14 10:09:11 AM

Mister Buttons: Well, that was stupid.  I've been assured that the best way to kill the devil is to eat at least a dozen freeze-dried money penises chased with ground up rhino horn.


Interesting. I've never had the pleasure of ahem "eating" (or at least mouthing) a money penis, although the connection between "money" and "penis" is more often linked than not. Tried a number of others though.

You weren't thinking of Miss Moneypenny, by any chance? You think 007 would let you have a bite of her?
 
2013-07-14 10:10:53 AM
Yes, because if there's one thing I'd expect the ruler of Hell to be vulnerable to, it would be fire!

Next up: killing Poseidon by drowning him!
 
2013-07-14 10:16:13 AM
God wins again!
 
2013-07-14 10:20:42 AM
 
2013-07-14 10:22:14 AM
It's idiots like that guy who really needs to understand what the Book of Revelations is all about.
 
2013-07-14 10:41:17 AM
Arthus Brown seen giggling

/sfw but weird as hell
 
2013-07-14 10:42:57 AM
Maylasia has a town named Butterworth?
 
2013-07-14 10:45:10 AM
Blessed golf clubs.
 
2013-07-14 10:47:44 AM

Saberus Terras: You don't kill the devil, for one of two reasons:

1) you aren't the archangel Michael at Armageddon.

2) if you did kill him, you'd have to take his place.  All told, doesn't sound like a good career move.  Hours suck, you know you're going to lose at the end... and your workplace is always too hot.


I guess one upside would be that your coffee would never get cold.
 
2013-07-14 10:49:25 AM
First of all, this is why other people have houses. And boats and money. And wives.

Anything with OP is better. Even when burning down a house. The devil will move to any house you ask him, and you'll be doing your neighbor or boss a favor by getting rid of the devil at his home.
 
2013-07-14 10:55:16 AM
Still the approved method for removing spiders.
 
2013-07-14 11:04:48 AM

Saberus Terras: You don't kill the devil, for one of two reasons:

1) you aren't the archangel Michael at Armageddon.

2) if you did kill him, you'd have to take his place.  All told, doesn't sound like a good career move.  Hours suck, you know you're going to lose at the end... and your workplace is always too hot.


Is this a Catholic thing or has Christianity accepted more fan fiction as canon?
 
2013-07-14 11:14:09 AM
I think one house for killing the Devil is a pretty good deal.
 
2013-07-14 11:18:21 AM

whatshisname: I think one house for killing the Devil is a pretty good deal.


Four. RTFA.
 
2013-07-14 11:19:00 AM

BarkingUnicorn: Maylasia has a town named Butterworth?


Yes, mabe you've heard of the winners of their famous beauty contest for married women...
 
2013-07-14 11:27:57 AM

LordOfThePings: whatshisname: I think one house for killing the Devil is a pretty good deal.

Four. RTFA.


Oh, that changes everything.
 
2013-07-14 11:35:47 AM
You know, I flipped through a few pages of a bible once, and I seem to remember that it specified burning down the house as the proper way to address mildew. Or something along those lines. I think a priest was involved.

/Also...
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-07-14 11:38:29 AM

Monkeyhouse Zendo: Is this a Catholic thing or has Christianity accepted more fan fiction as canon?


He got it from the show Supernatural.
 
2013-07-14 11:40:29 AM
I have burned the house of a devil
It was warm in the night
These handcuffs are cold as a stone

But I still
haven't found
the devil I'm looking for

No I still
haven't burned
the house I'm looking for
 
2013-07-14 11:54:07 AM

Mugato: Monkeyhouse Zendo: Is this a Catholic thing or has Christianity accepted more fan fiction as canon?

He got it from the show Supernatural.


Ah, that's why it seemed familiar but I couldn't place it anywhere in canon. Still, Supernatural is probably as accurate source for modern Christian myth when you consider how John Milton pretty much defined the modern perception of hell.
 
2013-07-14 11:54:40 AM
I'm in day three of  a Supernatural marathon.  I have learned only a special pistol made by Colt will kill a demon.  I suppose you'd have to have something bigger for a Devil.
The fool.
 
2013-07-14 11:56:20 AM

bearded clamorer: Sherman Hemsley gets rid of the devil



Awesome!  I remember this from when it was broadcast, haven't seen it since.  The best story on that iteration of The Twilight Zone - and written by Joe Haldeman, too!
 
2013-07-14 11:56:32 AM

DLinds: I'm in day three of  a Supernatural marathon.  I have learned only a special pistol made by Colt will kill a demon.  I suppose you'd have to have something bigger for a Devil.
The fool.


Pay closer attention. Colt's pistol will kill anything provided you have the ammunition.
 
2013-07-14 12:02:41 PM
Isn't that like trying to drown a fish?
 
2013-07-14 12:06:50 PM

Monkeyhouse Zendo: DLinds: I'm in day three of  a Supernatural marathon.  I have learned only a special pistol made by Colt will kill a demon.  I suppose you'd have to have something bigger for a Devil.
The fool.

Pay closer attention. Colt's pistol will kill anything provided you have the ammunition.



SPOILERS
They shot Lucifer with the Colt and it didn't take.

Supernatural's take on angels and demons and Lucifer is probably the best I've seen in TV or movies (I never learned to read so I don't know about literature). Angels aren't all good, demons aren't all bad and their version of Hell was pretty terrifying. Heaven was underwhelming.
 
2013-07-14 12:15:04 PM

Mugato: SPOILERS
They shot Lucifer with the Colt and it didn't take.


Yeah, I noticed that little retcon as well. 

Supernatural's take on angels and demons and Lucifer is probably the best I've seen in TV or movies (I never learned to read so I don't know about literature). Angels aren't all good, demons aren't all bad and their version of Hell was pretty terrifying. Heaven was underwhelming.

Once I'd seen The Prophecy I realized just how different the usual perception of angels were from what they are purported to be in scripture and it got me thinking about how common Christian belief regarding an afterlife is so at odds with the Bible but I guess that's to be expected of a religion with a couple thousand years to cultural reinterpretation.
 
2013-07-14 12:22:21 PM
thewolfmancometh.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-07-14 12:23:01 PM

Mugato: Monkeyhouse Zendo: DLinds: I'm in day three of  a Supernatural marathon.  I have learned only a special pistol made by Colt will kill a demon.  I suppose you'd have to have something bigger for a Devil.
The fool.

Pay closer attention. Colt's pistol will kill anything provided you have the ammunition.


SPOILERS
They shot Lucifer with the Colt and it didn't take.

Supernatural's take on angels and demons and Lucifer is probably the best I've seen in TV or movies (I never learned to read so I don't know about literature). Angels aren't all good, demons aren't all bad and their version of Hell was pretty terrifying. Heaven was underwhelming.


"there are only 5 things in all creation that gun won't kill"
 
2013-07-14 12:26:17 PM

Smoking GNU: "there are only 5 things in all creation that gun won't kill"


I guess I'm the one who needs to pay closer attention. Thanks. :)
 
2013-07-14 12:47:08 PM
Depends. Is the devil your wife and is she locked up in the house?
 
2013-07-14 12:52:09 PM

Monkeyhouse Zendo: Once I'd seen The Prophecy I realized just how different the usual perception of angels were from what they are purported to be in scripture and it got me thinking about how common Christian belief regarding an afterlife is so at odds with the Bible but I guess that's to be expected of a religion with a couple thousand years to cultural reinterpretation.


 I thought that angels were God's warriors (why he needs warriors I don't know). They're just slaves to God and had to do his will (why God has to have shiat done for him I don't know). They don't necessarily care about humans. Lucifer was God's favorite angel until he questioned God giving humans free will, which the angels don't have and that's why the Archangel Michael cast him into Hell. It's a pretty good story, actually. I tend to have sympathy for the devil.

I wonder how Supernatural is going to handle finding God.
 
2013-07-14 01:13:07 PM
Pro tip: Setting fire to your house will make the devil feel right at home.
 
2013-07-14 01:29:47 PM
I had a drunk uncle who broke into another relative's home and was found vacuuming the carpet furiously, because he'd seen the devil go into the house and then sink down into the floor.
 
2013-07-14 01:43:59 PM

Monkeyhouse Zendo: Saberus Terras: You don't kill the devil, for one of two reasons:

1) you aren't the archangel Michael at Armageddon.

2) if you did kill him, you'd have to take his place.  All told, doesn't sound like a good career move.  Hours suck, you know you're going to lose at the end... and your workplace is always too hot.

Is this a Catholic thing or has Christianity accepted more fan fiction as canon?


First one's Catholic, I think, something my wife told me.

Second one is and ass pull, for a story I wrote once and never published. (I realized that it was juvenile crap)
 
2013-07-14 01:56:43 PM

CowardlyLion: Tyrone Slothrop: I've been assured that religion has never made anyone do anything bad, so he would have set his house on fire anyway, he's just using religion as an excuse.

Be careful waving that strawman around--he's flammable, too.


Hey, just repeating what religion apologists on Fark always say.
 
2013-07-14 01:57:48 PM

Saberus Terras: Monkeyhouse Zendo: Saberus Terras: You don't kill the devil, for one of two reasons:

1) you aren't the archangel Michael at Armageddon.

2) if you did kill him, you'd have to take his place.  All told, doesn't sound like a good career move.  Hours suck, you know you're going to lose at the end... and your workplace is always too hot.

Is this a Catholic thing or has Christianity accepted more fan fiction as canon?

First one's Catholic, I think, something my wife told me.

Second one is and ass pull, for a story I wrote once and never published. (I realized that it was juvenile crap)


Unless you are really old, it's also a direct lift from a Piers Anthony novel, On a Pale Horse
 
2013-07-14 02:24:54 PM

Tyrone Slothrop: CowardlyLion: Tyrone Slothrop: I've been assured that religion has never made anyone do anything bad, so he would have set his house on fire anyway, he's just using religion as an excuse.

Be careful waving that strawman around--he's flammable, too.

Hey, just repeating what religion apologists on Fark always say.


...in strawman format.

/not gonna deny that the comment was humorous
//still created a ridiculous, oversimplified, clearly-stupid 'argument' from an originally well-reasoned and supportable argument
 
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