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(Washington Post)   Pre-wedding diets are a bad idea   (washingtonpost.com) divider line 56
    More: Obvious, trigonometry  
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10223 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Jul 2013 at 3:52 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-07-14 01:18:11 AM  
I'm friends with somebody who is getting married next month. She bought a wedding dress two sizes too small and then put herself on a crash course of daily exercise and a no-carb diet. I have a feeling she's going to be in for the shock of her life once her big day has passed.
 
2013-07-14 03:58:02 AM  
img.myconfinedspace.com
 
2013-07-14 04:06:14 AM  
The only thing worse than a chick planning her wedding is a chick planning the baby.
 
2013-07-14 04:08:09 AM  
And all the girls walk by, dressed up for each other...
 
2013-07-14 04:08:47 AM  
Might as well slap on the post wedding 40 before the wedding. That would be more honest.
 
2013-07-14 04:17:56 AM  
I had no idea this was a thing when I got married.

 I just made sure I liked the dress and that it fit comfortably.

/wedding was wonderful!
//peasant weddings ftw!
 
2013-07-14 04:19:47 AM  
If you want to be married, try to look your worst, act your worst, and practically be your worst. If the person still decides to stick with you, then you probably have a good partner who won't throw you away once you start looking ugly again after the wedding.
 
2013-07-14 04:20:23 AM  
A while ago I was on Etsy and one of the vendors sells workout tops for women. On the front: "Workin' it for the dress!"
On the back (personalized, of course): "The future Mrs. ______"

Lame on so many levels.

On the other hand, as my guilty pleasure Say Yes to the Dress proves, many women are more than happy to tell the nation that they "consider themselves plus-size brides" and have no intention of going on a pre-wedding diet.
 
2013-07-14 04:35:09 AM  
I dated an overweight but sweet girl who wanted to get married and have a kid real soon.  I imagined her turning into something akin to a land-whale-cow-monster if that happened and got out while I still could.
 
2013-07-14 04:45:18 AM  
Im all for knocking fad diets, but this article seems to be flat out suggesting that you should forgo healthy eating altogether because its hard and you have better things to worry about.. And thats farking stupid.
 
2013-07-14 05:07:08 AM  
CSB:

My ex got her dress (when we got married, no idea where she's getting her next one from) from David's Bridal. The Morans ordered a dress TWO SIZES TOO SMALL and refused to give her a refund/exchange because it was a $1200 designer dress. When a crash diet didn't work (doy), she had to have a seamstress add a panel of fabric in the back. Fark weddings and wedding dresses.

/Okay, it's not that C of an S. Lemme alone. I've been up for 24 hours.
//Next time I'm gonna elope.
 
2013-07-14 05:27:39 AM  
www.mamamia.com.au

Some lengths people will go to for their wedding dress. Although I gotta say, if you're gonna fake it go with a corset. He already knows what he's getting.
 
2013-07-14 05:44:31 AM  
Let's start with the most obvious issue:

You know why diets don't work? Because they require a lifestyle change. If eat your way to being a fat tub of goo, and then diet hard and lose the weight, you have to keep up eating that way the rest of your life.

You can't just lose the weight, and then go back to eating the way you used to. Eating that way took you to goodom, and it will take you on a return trip.
 
2013-07-14 06:07:51 AM  
Then there's this:

More: Obvious, trigonometry

WHAT? THE? FARK???
 
2013-07-14 06:26:42 AM  

wildcardjack: Some lengths people will go to for their wedding dress. Although I gotta say, if you're gonna fake it go with a corset. He already knows what he's getting.


I'm not sure I actually want to know what's going on in that picture. But I kind of have to.
 
2013-07-14 06:45:26 AM  

TheOriginalEd: Im all for knocking fad diets, but this article seems to be flat out suggesting that you should forgo healthy eating altogether because its hard and you have better things to worry about.. And thats farking stupid.


....and the better things you have to worry about are your floral displays and seating arrangement.


Wtf lady, can I get a "math is hard" up in here?
 
2013-07-14 06:55:37 AM  
Eat and exercise correctly and leave the diets alone.
 
2013-07-14 06:59:48 AM  

Gyrfalcon: Then there's this:

More: Obvious, trigonometry

WHAT? THE? FARK???


Trig was mentioned in TFA
 
2013-07-14 07:14:16 AM  
Someone sounds fat.
 
2013-07-14 07:41:31 AM  
Not mentioned in the article is that some people will pay more than $2000 for something called a "wedding album," because apparently wedding photography is 100000 times harder than any other photography, and it forces the photographer to work a dozen or more hours in the same week.  If a bride is dropping that much money on photographs, then I can see why she'd want to look her best for the pictures.

Another thing the article doesn't mention is that eating right and exercising makes you feel better, not worse.

The part where she spent a year trusting only scales, not mirrors, was pretty clever.  My wife has taught me that women's monthly hormonal roller coaster makes them look and feel extra fat about 25% of the time, even though they aren't gaining any weight.  She'll say how fat she's getting, so I'll tell her to step on the scale, and she'll relax a bit when she sees a two digit number on the display panel.
 
2013-07-14 07:47:27 AM  

Teknowaffle: Let's start with the most obvious issue:

You know why diets don't work? Because they require a lifestyle change. If eat your way to being a fat tub of goo, and then diet hard and lose the weight, you have to keep up eating that way the rest of your life.

You can't just lose the weight, and then go back to eating the way you used to. Eating that way took you to goodom, and it will take you on a return trip.


Diets are very unpleasant. No one wants to be on a diet forever. This is why there are so many fat people.
 
2013-07-14 07:55:11 AM  
More useless information that I'll never need. Woohoo!

/If I were to get married, it'll be a courthouse ceremony in blue jeans
//It'll be the reception that'll be the party
/// Roasted pig and alcohol
 
2013-07-14 08:01:31 AM  
self involved vain brides to be gladly starve themselves for the wedding day. they know the only thing they'll be putting in their mouths afterwards is junk food and pre-cooked meats.
 
2013-07-14 08:07:42 AM  
Thank God I don't ever have to get married again. I don't think I could get any fatter.
 
2013-07-14 08:27:41 AM  

oryx: Someone sounds fat.


This. FTA (and clue):  but looking like a twig for your nuptials isn't one of them.

Neither is looking like gelatinous goo either. Although I agree that crash dieting never works, I've noticed that lately many people think its ok to use words like "twig", "skeletor" et al with people who may actually be trying to maintain their weight. Heaven forbid you use the word "fat" around them. Then your a monster, with no consideration towards "peoples feelings." Bashing thinner people isn't OK either.
 
2013-07-14 08:27:57 AM  
Well this isn't really shocking. Women do all sorts of nonsensical things because of peer pressure from other women and some nebulous sense of social status and superiority. Somebody already wants to marry you, fatty, so it's clear you aren't doing it for your fiancé. Although I'd argue that it's not the diet per se that causes future brides to be insane. It would however be an indicator that a woman is so focused on everything other than the spouse that wants to bang them in perpetuity that it's going to be if not a disaster, a lot more work than usual.
 
2013-07-14 08:34:04 AM  
Fitting into my dress was one of the last things I was worried about while planning my wedding.  I'll be quite honest, once i started registering with wedding vendor sites for information, I was appalled by some of the "wedding" ads I received.  Wedding botox, liposuction, etc.  The hubby knew what he was getting; what was shocking my face into a waxy, frozen mask and lipo scars going to change?
 
2013-07-14 08:35:30 AM  
A quick Google images search for the author's name leads me to think a little self-restraint by a bride before her wedding may not be so bad.
 
2013-07-14 08:36:40 AM  
if your love ain't beautiful, a diet ain't gonna do shiat
 
2013-07-14 08:36:54 AM  
My significant other kept saying I should lose 20 lbs. to fit in to a wedding dress. I said it was wrong because it would be dishonest. After all, I'm a man who doesn't like cross-dressing (NTTAWWT) and she was starting to give me the creeps anyway.
 
2013-07-14 08:38:51 AM  
sure the CRACK COCAINE look is pretty.  but that's only cause we loved Amy Winehouse
 
2013-07-14 08:41:08 AM  

benh999: A quick Google images search for the author's name leads me to think a little self-restraint by a bride before her wedding may not be so bad.


Anybody whose mind immediately conjures up a "twig" metaphor when diet and weight are brought up is generally going to be a land whale.
 
2013-07-14 08:54:28 AM  

OscarTamerz: Might as well slap on the post wedding 40 before the wedding. That would be more honest.


40? Damn, I only did 20. I used to blame the baby but he's now nearly 3 so that excuse won't work anymore. I decided to drop the weight and get back to my pre-wedding weight of 130. Once I actually decided to do it instead of complaining about it, the pounds are just melting off. I must still have a smidge of my old metabolism left or something.

/lost 7lbs so far
//sugar is the devil for me
 
2013-07-14 09:06:43 AM  
How about you stay fit all the time for your own health not blow up like someone pulled the rip cord on a farking life raft the day after your wedding.
My sister-in-law does this.She can actually be pretty hot when she's single but then she gets a boyfriend. I've never seen anyone pack on the weight like she does. It's like someone stick an air hose up her ass.
 
2013-07-14 09:15:01 AM  
the women must be so sexy at the wedding, that we all want to rape her afterwards
 
2013-07-14 09:22:22 AM  

Kettle Corn Mike: the women must be so sexy at the wedding, that we all want to rape her afterwards


There's a reason the bride picks all her fat friends to be in the party.
 
2013-07-14 09:22:49 AM  
My friend just got married three weeks ago.  I don't know how much he lost, I just know that he said in the 11 months since the first tux fitting (yeah, it was THAT kind of wedding) he lost four pants sizes and an inch off his neck size.

\of course, we're all making fun of him for the foot of hair he had to chop off for it too
 
2013-07-14 09:50:37 AM  
Mrs Hobbs went with the Special K diet for a couple months before our wedding and was a maniacal raving biatch ramped on speed the entire time.  I self medicated with double IPA to deal.  Love you Hun.
 
2013-07-14 10:26:10 AM  

Nidiot: Teknowaffle: Let's start with the most obvious issue:

You know why diets don't work? Because they require a lifestyle change. If eat your way to being a fat tub of goo, and then diet hard and lose the weight, you have to keep up eating that way the rest of your life.

You can't just lose the weight, and then go back to eating the way you used to. Eating that way took you to goodom, and it will take you on a return trip.

Diets are very unpleasant. No one wants to be on a diet forever. This is why there are so many fat people.


I have to make sure to eat extra to ward off hypoglycemia. Can't imagine what purposely putting yourself into a hypoglycemic state has to do to you for stress.
 
2013-07-14 10:30:06 AM  
img1.etsystatic.com

What about yoga pants?  Are yoga pants still ok?
 
2013-07-14 10:37:23 AM  
My assistant is getting married next June; she's already obsessed over losing weight in time for her wedding dress fitting, which she has scheduled for some time later this year. Problem is, she wants to lose over 40 pounds and refuses to do any physical workout routines to help her lose it. All she's doing is attempting to change her eating habits, without success. I keep telling her that my wife's personal trainer will help her lose the weight if she'd just call him, but she's determined to "do it by herself", except she's not.

/she doesn't need to lose 40 pounds
//her fiance lives with her so it's not like he hasn't seen what she looks like already
 
2013-07-14 11:15:04 AM  
We were together for 9 years before we decided to get hitched. On a whim one day after breakfast we decided to go down to the courthouse. After we got the license, we asked "So... what's the deal, we just walk down the hall and get it signed by the judge?" The lady at the counter explained we had to pay another $85 to get it signed by the judge. EIGHTY FIVE DOLLARS? That's crazy. My brother is a pastor and was doing some electrical work at a building on the corner. We met him up for a piece of pizza while he made it official. I was in braids and a cowboy shirt and vans. Hub was in dickies and a work shirt.
We were about halfway through our slices when we were officially married.

I don't understand the pressure for a fat diamond, to fit into a tiny over-priced dress, a huge wedding, just to be fat and in debt later. It just doesn't appeal to me.

/Cool story sis
 
2013-07-14 11:21:09 AM  

charmbomb: We were together for 9 years before we decided to get hitched. On a whim one day after breakfast we decided to go down to the courthouse. After we got the license, we asked "So... what's the deal, we just walk down the hall and get it signed by the judge?" The lady at the counter explained we had to pay another $85 to get it signed by the judge. EIGHTY FIVE DOLLARS? That's crazy. My brother is a pastor and was doing some electrical work at a building on the corner. We met him up for a piece of pizza while he made it official. I was in braids and a cowboy shirt and vans. Hub was in dickies and a work shirt.
We were about halfway through our slices when we were officially married.

I don't understand the pressure for a fat diamond, to fit into a tiny over-priced dress, a huge wedding, just to be fat and in debt later. It just doesn't appeal to me.

/Cool story sis


It's the female equivalent of hanging a set of deer antlers on the wall.  "Look what I tracked down and captured!!!!"
 
2013-07-14 11:25:48 AM  
Why bother?  The ballless schlub has already proven he's willing to fark a fat chick.  Marriage is the opportunity to find out how fat of a chick he'll fark.
 
2013-07-14 11:28:17 AM  
Married 8 years ago.  Since then I gained 20 pounds and my husband lost 170 pounds.

/not via divorce, either
 
2013-07-14 11:29:00 AM  

NetOwl: Not mentioned in the article is that some people will pay more than $2000 for something called a "wedding album," because apparently wedding photography is 100000 times harder than any other photography, and it forces the photographer to work a dozen or more hours in the same week.  If a bride is dropping that much money on photographs, then I can see why she'd want to look her best for the pictures.

Another thing the article doesn't mention is that eating right and exercising makes you feel better, not worse.

The part where she spent a year trusting only scales, not mirrors, was pretty clever.  My wife has taught me that women's monthly hormonal roller coaster makes them look and feel extra fat about 25% of the time, even though they aren't gaining any weight.  She'll say how fat she's getting, so I'll tell her to step on the scale, and she'll relax a bit when she sees a two digit number on the display panel.


I take it you are a wedding photographer? The only impression I've ever gotten of wedding photography from photography forums is that it actually is difficult and many successful professionals refuse to do weddings.
 
2013-07-14 11:30:32 AM  

Teknowaffle: Let's start with the most obvious issue:

You know why diets don't work? Because they require a lifestyle change. If eat your way to being a fat tub of goo, and then diet hard and lose the weight, you have to keep up eating that way the rest of your life.

You can't just lose the weight, and then go back to eating the way you used to. Eating that way took you to goodom, and it will take you on a return trip.


"....But goodom, and the Eeevil One
Crept up and slipped away with her-er, her-er, her, cheah!
Ain't nothin' I can dooo now
Guess I'll keep on RAMBLIN' ON!! Shaa-aake!"
 
2013-07-14 11:39:27 AM  
It's far better if before the wedding the bride chows down on Mexican food and beer.  Then, when asked to say "I do" busts a really magnificent one while mumbling, so nobody knows for sure.
 
2013-07-14 11:42:42 AM  
I used to be a wedding coordinator.  We always talked with the couple - especially the bride -  about the havoc that nerves and stress can wreak on the body and encouraged them both to eat something nutritious and high in protein and drink plenty of water on the day of the wedding so as to avoid passing out during the ceremony.  Most of the time, the advice went unheeded.  Many brides practically starved themselves the days prior to the wedding, fearful that any morsel of food would mean they weren't going to fit into their gown.  One bride ended up in the ER on IV fluids the night before her wedding because she was so weak and dehydrated.  Another fainted during the ceremony.  She was a Marine who was very physically fit, but afterwards she admitted to being fearful she was not going to fit into her dress and so she did not eat anything the day of her wedding, which was in the late afternoon.
 
2013-07-14 12:09:16 PM  
I went and bought my wedding dress off the rack a month before the ceremony.  It never occurred to me to go on a diet.
 
2013-07-14 03:01:04 PM  
I did lose some weight in the 6 months before the wedding (about 20 lbs) but did it by tracking calories and exercising.  I also bought my dress off the rack (more of a sundress anyway) about 3 weeks before the ceremony.  I kept at that weight until I got pregnant about 2 1/2 years later.  Still got some extra baby weight though, even now I'm even with where I was when we met.
 
2013-07-14 03:47:54 PM  
married at the courthouse, my mother INSISTED i wear a dress and bought it for me - never even saw it until
"the" day.  weight then, 110 - weight now, 125 - but, that was 25 years ago and he likes this better

do NOT bother crash dieting, overspending, becoming a shrill bride - it is NOT the "best day of your life" - there will be better
 
2013-07-14 07:12:28 PM  

cuzsis: I had no idea this was a thing when I got married.

 I just made sure I liked the dress and that it fit comfortably.



Me too, I just started eating better and spending a bit more time at the gym.
/And I got one of those corset bras, they are like magic for smoothing purposes
 
2013-07-14 08:54:19 PM  
It is possible to watch what you're eating and not be miserable. I bought my wedding dress kind of far in advance (long engagement), and I would try it on every couple of months to make sure it still fit. One time it didn't, so I made sure to not each a bunch of junk food for the next couple of months. Low and behold, somehow it fit again the next time I tried it on. I did not turn into a "bridezilla" and we are still married years later.

If you buy a dress two sizes two small and your wedding is in six months, you might have problems, but there's nothing wrong watching your weight in a sensible way. It's as good a time as any to start the habit.
 
2013-07-14 09:27:53 PM  
Little Known Fact: The more money, time and effort you spend on the wedding, the more successful the marriage is going to be.

Another Little Known Fact: Wedding-related business know you think this.

Step 3? Profit.
 
2013-07-15 09:50:51 AM  
Weddings are a bad idea.

Just get married.  Invite your parents if you want to....or don't if they have anything to say other than "congratulations".

Use the money you saved to visit anyone you actually care about in the next 12 months to let them see you as a happy married couple.

Unless you're rich, wasting the $ on a big wedding/reception is just that - a waste.  And to all you brides out there with ridiculous imaginations - if you aren't a princess you don't get a princess' wedding, see?
 
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