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(Above the Law)   If you get addicted to porn, the obvious answer is to sue Apple   (abovethelaw.com) divider line 61
    More: Asinine, Apple, proximate cause, linguistic prescription, pop psychology, sexual slavery, sex trafficking, porn addiction, iTunes  
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3154 clicks; posted to Geek » on 12 Jul 2013 at 7:06 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



61 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-07-12 06:13:59 PM  
abovethelaw.com
"Apple should protect me from my porn addiction."

www.thegloss.com
 
2013-07-12 06:36:15 PM  
i used to have a porn addiction, but then i beat it.

/alternatively titled: i used to have a porn addiction, but now i have it well in hand
 
2013-07-12 06:41:41 PM  

thomps: i used to have a porn addiction, but then i beat it.

/alternatively titled: i used to have a porn addiction, but now i have it well in hand


alternatively titled: suing apple for your porn addiction - a genius of stroke
 
2013-07-12 06:44:29 PM  

thomps: thomps: i used to have a porn addiction, but then i beat it.

/alternatively titled: i used to have a porn addiction, but now i have it well in hand

alternatively titled: suing apple for your porn addiction - a genius of stroke


alternatively titled: porn addict hope justice is also blind
 
2013-07-12 06:51:57 PM  

thomps: thomps: thomps: i used to have a porn addiction, but then i beat it.

/alternatively titled: i used to have a porn addiction, but now i have it well in hand

alternatively titled: suing apple for your porn addiction - a genius of stroke

alternatively titled: porn addict hope justice is also blind


variety titled: apple grapple with fapple scrapple
 
2013-07-12 06:52:10 PM  
When did Apple take over Palm?
 
2013-07-12 07:09:23 PM  
FApple.com
 
2013-07-12 07:29:27 PM  
It's not his fault Apple makes such sexy hardware.
 
2013-07-12 07:34:56 PM  
i33.tinypic.com
 
2013-07-12 07:35:10 PM  
Some people have no sense of self responsibility.

At least he shows himself love though.
 
2013-07-12 07:48:58 PM  
Guys, I think we should leave thomps alone with his thoughts here.
 
2013-07-12 07:52:03 PM  
Porn addiction? check.
Red State? check.
biatching incessantly about it to the courts? Checkareeno.
 
2013-07-12 07:52:51 PM  
FTFA:

Apple should sell all products with an installed filter blocking all Internet porn. If the buyer, over the age of 18, wishes to unlock the Internet, he or she is free to contact Apple, sign a form acknowledging the ills of pornography, and receive a code to remove the filter. Sevier argues that the burden must be shifted from parents to the manufacturer to sell a locked device.

BULLSHIAT!!!

It is the parent's responsibility to keep their children safe from what ever they don't want their children to see on the internet, NOT THE MANUFACTURERS!!!  I shouldn't have to fill out a form saying that I want to look at adult content when I buy a device so I can look at said adult content.  It should be my ability to instantly look at adult content.  Especially since I do not have children and I am in my mid-30s.  My sister, on the other hand, has two children, the oldest is 12.  If she ever gets a computer, it is going to be up to her and her husband to keep their children from seeing anything adult oriented on the internet (like, or example, not letting her children have internet access in their bedrooms, but rather, insist that everything with internet access be in the living room area.

It makes absolutely zero sense to say "We must protect the children by making everything child safe, even if the buyers are of legal age and have no children."  It's like passing a law saying that all new cars sold must include child safety seats.  What about people who's kids have either moved out, out grown child safety seats or never had children?  Same thing here.  He's wanting a law that protects children, but effects those who don't have children or who's children have already moved out of the home.

It's almost like he's using the battle cry of "Think of the children" to further is goal of legislating something he doesn't believe should exist in the first place, porn, and thinks that by getting people to ask for the makers of their computers and tablets to unlock the porn filters (instead of just being able to do it from their own home with the click of a button), that people would be too embarrassed to actually ask, and the porn filters will stay in place.  Well, to that, I am going to point out that I have four 1TB hard drives connected to a wireless router that is not hooked up to the internet, and it's password protected (the password is a sentence actually, a very non-scenically sentence) and the router ID tag is "Porn Router".  And that pretty much proves that such protections are pointless since we already have porn.
 
2013-07-12 07:54:34 PM  
"farkbook.com" is not a typo. I'd have believed him if he said he accidentally went to fecesbook.com but that's not a valid address (well, someone owns it but it's just a camped site).

Yes. You read that right. Someone bought fecesbook.com

/and then didn't use it.
 
2013-07-12 07:55:37 PM  
BTW, if you end up on F*ckbook.com, it's not because you misspelled facebook.com, it's because you wanted to go to f*ckbook.com!
 
2013-07-12 07:57:21 PM  
This, ah... this is a joke, right?

/right?
 
2013-07-12 08:03:31 PM  

Great Janitor: BTW, if you end up on F*ckbook.com, it's not because you misspelled facebook.com, it's because you wanted to go to f*ckbook.com!


No, seriously, the keys are like RIGHT next to each other.
 
2013-07-12 08:08:46 PM  
Sad, sad man is just trying to generate documented "proof" that he wasn't to blame for his failed marriage. And career. And life.
 
2013-07-12 08:12:01 PM  

Bonanza Jellybean: This, ah... this is a joke, right?


Nope. Lawyers are really that slimy.
 
2013-07-12 08:15:30 PM  
If you get addicted to porn...

IF?
 
2013-07-12 08:15:30 PM  

Phoenix87ta: Great Janitor: BTW, if you end up on F*ckbook.com, it's not because you misspelled facebook.com, it's because you wanted to go to f*ckbook.com!

No, seriously, the keys are like RIGHT next to each other.


You can type 'face' all left handed.  The word 'f*ck' (with a u instead of an *) is left hand, right hand, left hand and then right hand again.  THERE IS NO WAY YOU CAN REACH F*CKBOOK BY A SIMPLE TYPO!!!  It's not like back in the days of angelfire.com where typing 'anglefire.com' sent you to a gay porn site.
 
2013-07-12 08:21:05 PM  

Great Janitor: It's not like back in the days of angelfire.com where typing 'anglefire.com' sent you to a gay porn site.


I wouldn't know. What does non-scenically mean, anyway?
 
2013-07-12 08:22:17 PM  

rhiannon: Great Janitor: It's not like back in the days of angelfire.com where typing 'anglefire.com' sent you to a gay porn site.

I wouldn't know. What does non-scenically mean, anyway?


It means taking the most aesthetically boring route to your destination.
 
2013-07-12 08:25:17 PM  

FTFA:

UPDATE (5/12/2013, 5:15 p.m.): As a reader pointed out to us via email, and as noted in the comments, Chris Sevier (aka Mark Christopher Sevier) has been placed on disability inactive status by order of the Tennessee Supreme Court, due to "mental infirmity or illness."
That explains a lot. The complaint is suggests that it's more "mental illness"
 
2013-07-12 08:28:05 PM  

Dragonflew: rhiannon: Great Janitor: It's not like back in the days of angelfire.com where typing 'anglefire.com' sent you to a gay porn site.

I wouldn't know. What does non-scenically mean, anyway?

It means taking the most aesthetically boring route to your destination.


That's no fun. I go scenically or not at all.
 
2013-07-12 08:32:14 PM  

Great Janitor: it is going to be up to her and her husband to keep their children from seeing anything adult oriented on the internet


I do have children, and I'll say that approach is wrong or at least too limited. Your job as a parent is to prepare them for when they inevitable see adult oriented material. Make sure they have healthy attitudes and the tools they need.  By the time they're 12, you're past the window where you have much influence over their personalities, and you've lost theability to keep them from the Internet unless you're willing to become Amish.
 
2013-07-12 08:49:26 PM  

rhiannon: Dragonflew: rhiannon: Great Janitor: It's not like back in the days of angelfire.com where typing 'anglefire.com' sent you to a gay porn site.

I wouldn't know. What does non-scenically mean, anyway?

It means taking the most aesthetically boring route to your destination.

That's no fun. I go scenically or not at all.


Friggin' auto-correct.  You have no idea how many massages I've typed out that have gotten auto-corrected incorrectly.
 
2013-07-12 08:49:45 PM  
I was diagnosed with Carpel Tunnel Syndrome 11 years ago and considered suing Larry Flynt
 
2013-07-12 09:00:34 PM  

Great Janitor: rhiannon: Dragonflew: rhiannon: Great Janitor: It's not like back in the days of angelfire.com where typing 'anglefire.com' sent you to a gay porn site.

I wouldn't know. What does non-scenically mean, anyway?

It means taking the most aesthetically boring route to your destination.

That's no fun. I go scenically or not at all.

Friggin' auto-correct.  You have no idea how many massages I've typed out that have gotten auto-corrected incorrectly.


Which is very funny (ironic, even?) considering your follow up post after it. Anyway, I'll let you get back to your massage.
 
2013-07-12 09:00:41 PM  

LindenFark: Great Janitor: it is going to be up to her and her husband to keep their children from seeing anything adult oriented on the internet

I do have children, and I'll say that approach is wrong or at least too limited. Your job as a parent is to prepare them for when they inevitable see adult oriented material. Make sure they have healthy attitudes and the tools they need.  By the time they're 12, you're past the window where you have much influence over their personalities, and you've lost theability to keep them from the Internet unless you're willing to become Amish.


My sister doesn't have a computer and has resisted computers forever.  When her oldest started Kindergarten, the teacher said that she was going to get the kids onto the computers as soon as possible and teach them about computers and how to use them.  My sister protested, explaining how she wanted to keep her kids off the computers because she sees them as dangerous things to society.  The teacher answered with "Get over yourself, you're attitude is only hurting your children."

Her husband has racked up hundreds of dollars in extra cell phone fees for downloading porn onto his cell phone.  Not having a computer or being very bright, he downloads the most expensive porn images possible.  When she told me, I answered "You know, if you had a computer, he could get all his porn for free online."  She just saw that as another reason to not get a computer.  She's 100% anti-porn.  I think for all her biatching about how the internet and computers keep us separated from each other and is destroying society, I think the truth is that she doesn't want her husband to have something else to look at porn onto.  There are times when I honestly think someday she'll need bail money for kicking his ass for watching a porn movie.
 
2013-07-12 09:21:19 PM  

Great Janitor: My sister doesn't have a computer and has resisted computers forever.  When her oldest started Kindergarten, the teacher said that she was going to get the kids onto the computers as soon as possible and teach them about computers and how to use them.  My sister protested, explaining how she wanted to keep her kids off the computers because she sees them as dangerous things to society.  The teacher answered with "Get over yourself, you're attitude is only hurting your children."

Her husband has racked up hundreds of dollars in extra cell phone fees for downloading porn onto his cell phone.  Not having a computer or being very bright, he downloads the most expensive porn images possible.  When she told me, I answered "You know, if you had a computer, he could get all his porn for free online."  She just saw that as another reason to not get a computer.  She's 100% anti-porn.  I think for all her biatching about how the internet and computers keep us separated from each other and is destroying society, I think the truth is that she doesn't want her husband to have something else to look at porn onto.  There are times when I honestly think someday she'll need bail money for kicking his ass for watching a porn movie.


Is your sister really young or really old?  I kind of get the older generation being threatened by it since it wasn't around when they were younger.  Also younger women tend to be threatened by it earlier in their relationships until they realize that it's a losing battle.  I guess there's just always the uptight/religious/conservative types too.

I'm at the point now where I just have to tell the women who have a problem with it that they need to get over it because it's going to happen regardless of whether they want it to or not.  This is going to have to be one of those if you can't beat them, join them sort of things (no pun intended) or at least let it go.  It's also one of those pick your battles situations where this one isn't really worth it.  It's like those fools who are fighting gay marriage.  You can't stop it from happening so just learn to live with it.
 
2013-07-12 09:55:12 PM  

PillsHere: Great Janitor: My sister doesn't have a computer and has resisted computers forever.  When her oldest started Kindergarten, the teacher said that she was going to get the kids onto the computers as soon as possible and teach them about computers and how to use them.  My sister protested, explaining how she wanted to keep her kids off the computers because she sees them as dangerous things to society.  The teacher answered with "Get over yourself, you're attitude is only hurting your children."

Her husband has racked up hundreds of dollars in extra cell phone fees for downloading porn onto his cell phone.  Not having a computer or being very bright, he downloads the most expensive porn images possible.  When she told me, I answered "You know, if you had a computer, he could get all his porn for free online."  She just saw that as another reason to not get a computer.  She's 100% anti-porn.  I think for all her biatching about how the internet and computers keep us separated from each other and is destroying society, I think the truth is that she doesn't want her husband to have something else to look at porn onto.  There are times when I honestly think someday she'll need bail money for kicking his ass for watching a porn movie.

Is your sister really young or really old?  I kind of get the older generation being threatened by it since it wasn't around when they were younger.  Also younger women tend to be threatened by it earlier in their relationships until they realize that it's a losing battle.  I guess there's just always the uptight/religious/conservative types too.

I'm at the point now where I just have to tell the women who have a problem with it that they need to get over it because it's going to happen regardless of whether they want it to or not.  This is going to have to be one of those if you can't beat them, join them sort of things (no pun intended) or at least let it go.  It's also one of those pick your battles situations where this one isn't reall ...


My sister got married about 6 weeks before the birth of her oldest kid.  So, that's 12 years (the oldest daughter turns 12 in September, they got married in August, so almost 12 years), and that's not counting the two or three years they spent dating.  She's 33 years old (we're very close in age), so she's been with the same guy since she was like 18 or 19.

Me, I didn't get married until I was 31, and it was to a woman that I had dated for three years and early on I sat her down and explained things like my views on porn (I have it, I like it, I view it daily, I have hundreds of gigabytes of it saved on various hard drives) and she said that she frequented various porn sites.  I learned in my early 20's and that it was pointless to pretend that I didn't view or like porn.  If she was against it, it wasn't going to be a long lasting relationship.

I don't know if my sister views her husband viewing porn as an insult to her (at the birth of their first kid, he told her that he wasn't sexually attracted to her, so honestly, it is any surprise she could get insulted when he views porn?) or if she is just against it to be against it (when it comes up, she says it's gross).
I had a coworker years ago who nearly left her husband over his porn addiction.  He'd take their daughter to her mother's house because her mother had cable.  The co-worker's mother got pissed when she had cable bill with over $800 in PPV porn charges on it that the co-worker's husband charged up.  Now, I don't know if that was porn addiction or just him being stupid and not realizing just how much he racked up.  Worst part is that he was unemployed when that happened and they were asking her mother for financial help each month to make ends meet.
 
2013-07-12 10:12:45 PM  
There is plenty of other comedy gold in the complaint, as well:

"...unregulated internet porn is hurting brick and mortar or "mom and pop" porn shops. "


Mom?  Is that you?
 
2013-07-12 10:52:33 PM  
I spent my entire savings at www.appleparty.com
 
2013-07-12 11:11:16 PM  
the problem I have with porn is most of the people in it look like white trash. and I farkin hate those bozos.
 
2013-07-12 11:44:13 PM  
PillsHere:
I'm at the point now where I just have to tell the women who have a problem with it that they need to get over it because it's going to happen regardless of whether they want it to or not.

Chicks gotta get used to the fact you're going to get off to women hotter than they are anytime you want. sure they're going to feel shiatty about it & jealous for your attention but they have to accept the reality they're not all that attractive in comparison.
 
2013-07-13 12:04:06 AM  
Remember, you have to sue the guy with a pile of cash.
 
2013-07-13 12:13:35 AM  

Clock Spider Jerusalem: PillsHere:
I'm at the point now where I just have to tell the women who have a problem with it that they need to get over it because it's going to happen regardless of whether they want it to or not.

Chicks gotta get used to the fact you're going to get off to women hotter than they are anytime you want. sure they're going to feel shiatty about it & jealous for your attention but they have to accept the reality they're not all that attractive in comparison.


Or, more realistically, that sometimes you just want a taste of a different flavor.  Looking at porn to satisfy that craving is a lot better in the long run for all involved than going behind your partner's back and cheating on them.
 
2013-07-13 12:15:31 AM  

Arumat: Clock Spider Jerusalem: PillsHere:
I'm at the point now where I just have to tell the women who have a problem with it that they need to get over it because it's going to happen regardless of whether they want it to or not.

Chicks gotta get used to the fact you're going to get off to women hotter than they are anytime you want. sure they're going to feel shiatty about it & jealous for your attention but they have to accept the reality they're not all that attractive in comparison.

Or, more realistically, that sometimes you just want a taste of a different flavor.  Looking at porn to satisfy that craving is a lot better in the long run for all involved than going behind your partner's back and cheating on them.


Listen, if she's just be willing to suck him off more often this wouldn't be a problem.
 
2013-07-13 12:17:53 AM  
...unregulated internet porn is hurting brick and mortar or "mom and pop" porn shops.

I mean really, people! When was the last time you visited the old mom-and-pop porn store to get quality, locally-sourced porn instead of settling for grainy cheap stuff from some big-box online porn supplier?
 
2013-07-13 12:36:08 AM  
"big-box" having several meanings, in this case.
 
2013-07-13 12:36:45 AM  

Lachwen: ...unregulated internet porn is hurting brick and mortar or "mom and pop" porn shops.

I mean really, people! When was the last time you visited the old mom-and-pop porn store to get quality, locally-sourced porn instead of settling for grainy cheap stuff from some big-box online porn supplier?


Yeah, I have found myself bypassing the mom and pop brick and mortar porn shops and going straight to the amateur makers.
 
2013-07-13 01:09:43 AM  

Great Janitor: Phoenix87ta: Great Janitor: BTW, if you end up on F*ckbook.com, it's not because you misspelled facebook.com, it's because you wanted to go to f*ckbook.com!

No, seriously, the keys are like RIGHT next to each other.

You can type 'face' all left handed.  The word 'f*ck' (with a u instead of an *) is left hand, right hand, left hand and then right hand again.  THERE IS NO WAY YOU CAN REACH F*CKBOOK BY A SIMPLE TYPO!!!  It's not like back in the days of angelfire.com where typing 'anglefire.com' sent you to a gay porn site.


Yeah, I'm aware.  I was being sarcastic.
 
2013-07-13 01:12:13 AM  

Phoenix87ta: Great Janitor: Phoenix87ta: Great Janitor: BTW, if you end up on F*ckbook.com, it's not because you misspelled facebook.com, it's because you wanted to go to f*ckbook.com!

No, seriously, the keys are like RIGHT next to each other.

You can type 'face' all left handed.  The word 'f*ck' (with a u instead of an *) is left hand, right hand, left hand and then right hand again.  THERE IS NO WAY YOU CAN REACH F*CKBOOK BY A SIMPLE TYPO!!!  It's not like back in the days of angelfire.com where typing 'anglefire.com' sent you to a gay porn site.

Yeah, I'm aware.  I was being sarcastic.


I wasn't sure.
 
2013-07-13 01:33:06 AM  

quartercomma: There is plenty of other comedy gold in the complaint, as well:

"...unregulated internet porn is hurting brick and mortar or "mom and pop" porn shops. "


Mom?  Is that you?



what a mom and pop shop might look like
 
2013-07-13 02:12:48 AM  

Great Janitor: I don't know if my sister views her husband viewing porn as an insult to her (at the birth of their first kid, he told her that he wasn't sexually attracted to her, so honestly, it is any surprise she could get insulted when he views porn?) or if she is just against it to be against it (when it comes up, she says it's gross).


Well that's just sad.  Why would she continue to be with him let alone have more kids with him if he's not sexually attracted to her?  He sounds like an asshole.  I just hope it wasn't in the delivery room or something since you said "at the birth of."
 
2013-07-13 02:53:38 AM  
If as he says, his wife is no longer 21 then it's clearly her fault for choosing to shop at the wrong clothing chain.

peppervintage.com
 
2013-07-13 03:06:13 AM  

Great Janitor: FTFA:

Apple should sell all products with an installed filter blocking all Internet porn. If the buyer, over the age of 18, wishes to unlock the Internet, he or she is free to contact Apple, sign a form acknowledging the ills of pornography, and receive a code to remove the filter. Sevier argues that the burden must be shifted from parents to the manufacturer to sell a locked device.

BULLSHIAT!!!

It is the parent's responsibility to keep their children safe from what ever they don't want their children to see on the internet, NOT THE MANUFACTURERS!!!  I shouldn't have to fill out a form saying that I want to look at adult content when I buy a device so I can look at said adult content.  It should be my ability to instantly look at adult content.  Especially since I do not have children and I am in my mid-30s.  My sister, on the other hand, has two children, the oldest is 12.  If she ever gets a computer, it is going to be up to her and her husband to keep their children from seeing anything adult oriented on the internet (like, or example, not letting her children have internet access in their bedrooms, but rather, insist that everything with internet access be in the living room area.

It makes absolutely zero sense to say "We must protect the children by making everything child safe, even if the buyers are of legal age and have no children."  It's like passing a law saying that all new cars sold must include child safety seats.  What about people who's kids have either moved out, out grown child safety seats or never had children?  Same thing here.  He's wanting a law that protects children, but effects those who don't have children or who's children have already moved out of the home.

It's almost like he's using the battle cry of "Think of the children" to further is goal of legislating something he doesn't believe should exist in the first place, porn, and thinks that by getting people to ask for the makers of their computers and tablets to unlock the porn filters (instead of just being able to do it from their own home with the click of a button), that people would be too embarrassed to actually ask, and the porn filters will stay in place.  Well, to that, I am going to point out that I have four 1TB hard drives connected to a wireless router that is not hooked up to the internet, and it's password protected (the password is a sentence actually, a very non-scenically sentence) and the router ID tag is "Porn Router".  And that pretty much proves that such protections are pointless since we already have porn.


Ahem. Let me start off by saying this. Fark the children.
part of the problem solving skills a young man must learn in life is how to get his hands on pornography without being caught.

But it is true if you dont want your kids exposed to something then it falls on you, and you alone. To keep it away from them. Cause I and many others could not care less if little baby junior sonofabitach stumbles upon 2 girls 1 cup and the age of six years old.

If he does find it then it is your fault as a parent.
 
2013-07-13 03:18:12 AM  

Lachwen: ...unregulated internet porn is hurting brick and mortar or "mom and pop" porn shops.

I mean really, people! When was the last time you visited the old mom-and-pop porn store to get quality, locally-sourced porn instead of settling for grainy cheap stuff from some big-box online porn supplier?


Four..... No five years ago? I took one look at the DVD racks, where prices ranged between $30-$60 for 120 minutes of video, and walked right out again.

/plus it had those creepy pay-by-the-minute privacy booths complete with porn shop weirdos hanging around between viewings
 
2013-07-13 04:15:24 AM  

quartercomma: "big-box" having several meanings, in this case.


That was the intention, yes.
 
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