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(Mirror.co.uk)   "How my looking like Tom Cruse got me in bed with 500+ women." or "How I lie constantly, look nothing like Tom Cruse, and I'm a complete ass"   (mirror.co.uk ) divider line
    More: Dumbass, Tom Cruise, oblivion, Music Mogul, emergency exits, lookalike  
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19846 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Jul 2013 at 2:28 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



115 Comments   (+0 »)
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2013-07-12 02:29:41 PM  
What's that smell?  Oh yeah, bullshiat.
 
2013-07-12 02:29:52 PM  
If you shut your eyes they look kind of similar.
 
2013-07-12 02:29:54 PM  
A midget?
 
2013-07-12 02:29:57 PM  
Chicks are that ready to jump Tom Cruise?  What's the female equivalent of don't stick your dick in crazy?
 
2013-07-12 02:31:15 PM  
Somebody needs to look in the MIRROR.

/
This guy thinks he's King Sh*t of F*ck Island, but he's not.
 
2013-07-12 02:31:18 PM  

InfrasonicTom: What's the female equivalent of don't stick your dick in crazy?


Don't feed crazy to your clam?
 
2013-07-12 02:31:37 PM  
"when he suffered a stroke at just 25"

It could have been a brilliant career.
 
2013-07-12 02:31:38 PM  
Blah. 500+ men and I'd buy it.
 
2013-07-12 02:31:50 PM  

InfrasonicTom: Chicks are that ready to jump Tom Cruise?  What's the female equivalent of don't stick your dick in crazy?


"Don't let crazy stick their dick in you"?
 
2013-07-12 02:32:06 PM  
Well, hopefully he can find a John Travolta lookalike and find peace in his crazy life.
 
2013-07-12 02:32:20 PM  

InfrasonicTom: Chicks are that ready to jump Tom Cruise?  What's the female equivalent of don't stick your dick in crazy?


Don't stick crazy in your snatch? Or in this case, don't stick gay and crazy in your snatch.
 
2013-07-12 02:32:21 PM  
I look a little like Screech from Saved by the Bell.  I can't count the number of times I've gotten laid because of the canny resemblance.


/Because it's "0".
 
2013-07-12 02:33:22 PM  
detroitsportsnation.com
 
2013-07-12 02:34:45 PM  

InfrasonicTom: Chicks are that ready to jump Tom Cruise?  What's the female equivalent of don't stick your dick in crazy?


dont smack your coont with a crazy stick?
 
2013-07-12 02:34:57 PM  
I look kind of like Ricky Gervais. It's never gotten me laid.
 
2013-07-12 02:35:06 PM  

InfrasonicTom: Chicks are that ready to jump Tom Cruise?  What's the female equivalent of don't stick your dick in crazy?


Avoid Chris Brown?
 
2013-07-12 02:35:30 PM  
even with that tempting troll title, you can't make me feed clicks to The Mirror.
 
2013-07-12 02:36:10 PM  
Was he doing this for people with vision problems or just the criminally stupid?
 
2013-07-12 02:36:51 PM  

kvinesknows: InfrasonicTom: Chicks are that ready to jump Tom Cruise?  What's the female equivalent of don't stick your dick in crazy?

dont smack your coont with a crazy stick?


I like "don't cram your clam," myself.
 
2013-07-12 02:37:37 PM  

InfrasonicTom: Chicks are that ready to jump Tom Cruise?  What's the female equivalent of don't stick your dick in crazy?


Don't get stuck with the dick of anyone as crazy as you.
 
2013-07-12 02:37:48 PM  
Tom Cruse?  Is that spelling a meme, or is everyone just ignoring it?  I am confuse...
 
2013-07-12 02:38:28 PM  
He said 500 women, not 500 attractive women. Almost any guy can get 500 women if he lowers his expectations enough.
 
2013-07-12 02:39:51 PM  

InfrasonicTom: Chicks are that ready to jump Tom Cruise?  What's the female equivalent of don't stick your dick in crazy?


Don't put any 'crazy as a three dollar bill' s in your meat wallet?
I got nuthin...
 
2013-07-12 02:40:19 PM  
shiat, I look more like Tom Cruise than this joker.
 
2013-07-12 02:40:32 PM  
But was one of the 500+ Morgan Fairchild? With whom I've slept with.
 
2013-07-12 02:40:36 PM  
Nothing like having a positive attitude

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-07-12 02:40:51 PM  
I guess those ladies are pretty smart. The only way that a woman is going to get any dick from Tom Cruise is if she uses a look alike.
 
2013-07-12 02:41:20 PM  
I think the resemblance is enough to trigger that particular instinct in women to be knocked up by someone in a position of power, even if it's not actually that person.  Especially if he was changing his look to reflect whatever tom was doing.

You also have to understand that back when he was doing this, Tom Cruise was a legitimate heartthrob, not the creepy scientologist who married a girl/groupie half his age.  There was no downside to his reputation.   Chicks wanted him.  (I'm sure those same girls would still not throw him out of bed)

If you want to see tom before he fixed his teeth, watch Legend.  Heh.

-H
 
2013-07-12 02:41:20 PM  
Just about any clean-shaven, dark-haired guy can pull off the Maverick look with relatively minimal effort. It's just such an iconic character people will immediately think Tom Cruise with it.
 
2013-07-12 02:41:22 PM  

ChipNASA: /This guy thinks he's King Sh*t of F*ck Island, but he's not.


Okay, is this a new meme, or are you wanting it to be a new meme?
 
2013-07-12 02:46:28 PM  
I look like Paul Giamatti. So why am I not swimming in vaginal fluid? Hmmm?
 
2013-07-12 02:47:01 PM  
Look...women get drunk, and some of them are very stupid.

"No, I am! We're scouting locations for the next Mission Impossible movie! Unfortunately my director bailed on me, and he has my wallet! I'm not too familiar with this part of town, do you think you can walk with me back to my hotel?"

500? No. More than once?......I wouldn't dismiss it totally.
 
2013-07-12 02:47:08 PM  
He looks quite a bit like him in the early photo from the 80s or whenever (second pic down, with the really bad crease across the middle).   The one at the top is a current one.
 
2013-07-12 02:47:21 PM  

darth_badger: I guess those ladies are pretty smart. The only way that a woman is going to get any dick from Tom Cruise is if she uses a look alike.


For him or herself?
 
2013-07-12 02:47:49 PM  

theorellior: ChipNASA: /This guy thinks he's King Sh*t of F*ck Island, but he's not.

Okay, is this a new meme, or are you wanting it to be a new meme?


It's hard to tell, but if he DID pull it off, I can tell you one thing.


He'd be King SH*t of Fu*k Island.
 
2013-07-12 02:48:25 PM  
Drunk lonely women will say anything for cock.

Apparently I look like Ryan Gosling... so I have been told around last call.
 
2013-07-12 02:49:22 PM  
The resemblance isn't even that strong. These women must have been real Mensa members.
 
2013-07-12 02:49:27 PM  

Random Anonymous Blackmail: Apparently I look like Ryan Gosling... so I have been told around last call.


Do you stare at them blankly for five minutes before finally just saying "....thanks"? That's what I would do.
 
2013-07-12 02:54:10 PM  
More like a chubbier Robert Carlyle.
 
2013-07-12 02:54:20 PM  
 
2013-07-12 02:56:22 PM  
Killer Cars

Random Anonymous Blackmail: Apparently I look like Ryan Gosling... so I have been told around last call.

Do you stare at them blankly for five minutes before finally just saying "....thanks"? That's what I would do.


I will now,. Not trying to be an elitist douche but I don't know who he is.

Also been mistaken for Kid Rock in the late 90's and Emilio Estevez in the 80's
 
2013-07-12 02:59:36 PM  
Yeah, but they were British women.
 
2013-07-12 03:00:52 PM  

theorellior: ChipNASA: /This guy thinks he's King Sh*t of F*ck Island, but he's not.

Okay, is this a new meme, or are you wanting it to be a new meme?


It reminds me of a sketch from Mr. Show years ago with a preacher who swore incessantly "WHAT IS UP SATAN'S ASS?", claiming that Jesus stood and said "I AM KING SH*T OF F*CK MOUNTAIN. WHY WOULD YOU F*CK WITH ME?"

http://youtu.be/EM4hp9kz_A4
 
2013-07-12 03:01:47 PM  

theorellior: ChipNASA: /This guy thinks he's King Sh*t of F*ck Island, but he's not.

Okay, is this a new meme, or are you wanting it to be a new meme?


I'm pretty sure that, or a variety of phrases very like it, have been a meme for a very, very long time. When I was a kid, I always heard people using "King shiat of Turd Mountain" in that context.
 
2013-07-12 03:03:21 PM  
I was going to say that he looks exactly nothing like Tom Cruise, but that second picture is a LOT closer than the first.i3.mirror.co.uk
 
2013-07-12 03:08:46 PM  
Maybe the guy meant Tom Cruse...you know, the inventor of the Hoveround Scooter.
 
2013-07-12 03:10:57 PM  

darth_badger: I guess those ladies are pretty smart. The only way that a woman is going to get any dick from Tom Cruise is if she uses a look alike.


Finally, somebody has said it correctly.
 
2013-07-12 03:11:11 PM  
I used to hang out in the same places as this dude who constantly CONSTANTLY called himself a 6'2 David Chokachi lookalike (so I'm dating myself - Chokachi was on Baywatch 10 or 15 years ago)
Except he wasn't even 6'.  I'd give him maybe 5'9".  And he looked nothing like him.  It didn't matter.  He kept on playing that same tune and got laid like bricks.  No game - just said he was taller than he is and that he looked like a semi celeb.  I really am 6'2 but I don't claim to look like a celebrity and I couldn't get laid in prison with a handful of pardons.  There's a lesson in all of this somewhere.
 
2013-07-12 03:11:50 PM  
Tom Cruise no, Ryan Robbins, yes.
24.media.tumblr.comi3.mirror.co.uk
 
2013-07-12 03:13:39 PM  
Judging by his jeans, he looks more like he's female anyway. That at least, would make this a far more interesting story.
 
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