Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(RealClear)   Seven terrible films featuring huge celebrities. Pros: Farker-driven, not a slide show. Cons: Battlefield Earth trailer   (realclear.com ) divider line
    More: Stupid, humans, John Travolta, Alicia Silverstone, Chris O'Donnell, Van Helsing, Batman and Robin, minx, Sigourney Weaver  
•       •       •

7580 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 12 Jul 2013 at 12:53 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



169 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2013-07-12 01:59:09 PM  

Primitive Screwhead: Stupid Guitar: What, no Magic Christian?

About the worst movie you'll ever watch starring Peter Sellers, Ringo Starr, Marlon Brando, Walter Mattheau,..ugh, the list is just too long.

On a whole, Magic Christian was bad but had some brilliantly farked up moments.

Like this one (NSFW)


Goddammit, I actually meant to say Candy! It also had John Astin, Richard Burton, and John Huston. I get those two mixed up, but same difference.
 
2013-07-12 01:59:43 PM  

Stupid Guitar: What, no Magic Christian?

About the worst movie you'll ever watch starring Peter Sellers, Ringo Starr, Marlon Brando, Walter Mattheau,..ugh, the list is just too long.


The Onion AV Club's write-up of that movie in the "My Year of Flops" project is really emtertaining.

I read a "behind-the-scenes in the film industry" book once that said one of Brando's costumes for that movie was so bad that he locked himself in his trailer and refused to come out over it until they reminded him that he had signed a legally-binding contract.
 
2013-07-12 02:00:10 PM  

Whatthefark: [i41.tinypic.com image 270x317]


That prostitute vocal orifice that you own, close it.
 
jbc [TotalFark]
2013-07-12 02:04:39 PM  
Another movie that sucked as hard as "The Sandlot" is "Holes", and Jon Voight and Sigourney Weaver still both owe us all apologies for that one.
 
2013-07-12 02:05:15 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org

mysteriously absent

/for me, it was a tuesday.
 
2013-07-12 02:07:12 PM  
The Sandlot wasn't that bad, then again I haven't seen it in over a decade. Granted she wasn't a big star then, but Jennifer Anniston in Leprechaun part 1...
 
2013-07-12 02:08:46 PM  
Never saw Vamps, so I can't speak to that.

Battlefield: Earth and Batman and Robin deserve to be on this list because they were both movies that otherwise shouldn't have been horrible but were.

If you went to see Jack and Jill and not knowing exactly what kind of dreck you are going to be fed, then you have bigger problems than lousy movies.  That being said, I actually saw that movie when it was free on tv and it really wasn't *that bad*, not nearly as bad as the brain damage it foretold from the trailers, but it's a Happy Madison movie, so take that as you will.

Pluto Nash looked horrible from the beginning and even though it had a "huge celebrity", Eddie Murphy was already known for taking paycheck/crappy movies so there really wasn't any surprise there.

The complaint with "The Conqueror" is that it had a mismatched actor playing a historical role.  Was it really a terrible movie or could the person watching it just not get past the fact that it had John Wayne?

No Holds Barred wasn't oscar worthy but the "huge celebrity" was a well known wrestler making a wrestling movie?  This movie absolutely did not belong on this list, for god's sake go with "Over The Top" at least.
 
2013-07-12 02:09:28 PM  

Representative of the unwashed masses: It becomes more and more obvious that Scientology is messed up when you take what should be a ready made box office success formula. Aliens-taking-over-the-world-post-apocalyptic-nightmare shoot em up concept and screw it up as badly as they did with Battlefield Earth...


A lot of it was just bad directing and terrible set design. I'm also sure it didn't help to have David Miscavige sending in notes that had to be acted on.
 
2013-07-12 02:09:28 PM  

Primitive Screwhead: Stupid Guitar: What, no Magic Christian?

About the worst movie you'll ever watch starring Peter Sellers, Ringo Starr, Marlon Brando, Walter Mattheau,..ugh, the list is just too long.

On a whole, Magic Christian was bad but had some brilliantly farked up moments.

Like this one (NSFW)


For a second, I thought you were going to post the "Free Money scene". (possibly NSFW)
 
2013-07-12 02:09:36 PM  

I_Am_Weasel: [upload.wikimedia.org image 220x336]


That's not a real movie. They only made one Highlander film.
 
2013-07-12 02:10:37 PM  

scottydoesntknow: Michael Caine for Jaws: The Revenge


"I have never seen it," he once said of Jaws: The Revenge (1987), in which he took a supporting role, "but by all accounts it is terrible. However, I have seen the house that it built, and it is terrific."
 
2013-07-12 02:10:39 PM  

under a mountain: [theseconddisc.files.wordpress.com image 450x270]

What's going on in this thread?


That is the complete opposite of a terrible movie.
 
2013-07-12 02:11:38 PM  
Whole lot of trolls up in this thread...wow
 
2013-07-12 02:16:27 PM  

Whatthefark: [i41.tinypic.com image 270x317]


I despise the first half of The 3 Amigos, and love the second half.

Luckily, the first time I saw it was when I caught it on TV and saw just the second half.
 
2013-07-12 02:18:46 PM  

Spindle: This movie absolutely did not belong on this list, for god's sake go with "Over The Top" at least.


If you're going with "Over the Top," then I'm going with "Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot!"
 
2013-07-12 02:19:25 PM  

Whatthefark: [i41.tinypic.com image 270x317]


You take that back right now!

/"In a way, all of us has an El Guapo to face. For some, shyness might be their El Guapo. For others, a lack of education might be their El Guapo. For us, El Guapo is a big, dangerous man who wants to kill us. But as sure as my name is Lucky Day, the people of Santa Poco can conquer their own personal El Guapo, who also happens to be *the actual* El Guapo!"
 
2013-07-12 02:20:22 PM  

Whatthefark: [i41.tinypic.com image 270x317]


What do you mean? That movie was AWESOME!! Of course, when it came out, the High School did a combo dance/sponsored movie, and there was so much alcohol snuck in that the pile of swept up bottles at the end was about 3 feet tall. As a result, I remembered a talking turtle, and them sneaking into the movie lot.
 
2013-07-12 02:22:47 PM  
Doom?
GI Joe: Retaliation?
The Tooth Fairy?

I guess what I'm saying is "The Rock needs to pick his films more carefully."
 
2013-07-12 02:23:16 PM  
Hmmmm... no Armageddon.
 
2013-07-12 02:23:32 PM  

bluorangefyre: EvilEgg: Travolta was a washed up has been until Tarrentino rescued him. He may be back on the B list again

He himself once joked upon hosting SNL one time that (at the time) they'd had 400 shows and he'd had 5,000 comebacks.

/I will say I rather enjoyed Bolt
//far superior than Battlefield Earth
///Hell, ANYTHING is better than Battlefield Earth


I don't understand the Travolta hate. I get a kick out of him, he seems to be able to turn the ham factor on at will, AND have fun with it, He plays a decently scary bad guy, and even though he's a Scientologist, it takes farkers and the media to remind me of it, as opposed to him getting on TV and loudly proclaiming it a la' Tom Cruise.
 
2013-07-12 02:26:07 PM  
Dame Helen Mirren in Teaching Mrs Tingle.
 
2013-07-12 02:26:16 PM  

Mikey1969: I don't understand the Travolta hate. I get a kick out of him, he seems to be able to turn the ham factor on at will, AND have fun with it, He plays a decently scary bad guy, and even though he's a Scientologist, it takes farkers and the media to remind me of it, as opposed to him getting on TV and loudly proclaiming it a la' Tom Cruise.


Face/Off and Punisher. (And I realize I'm one of 6 people who like that film.)

Travolta just needs to not be The Guy. Apparently, he's fine as a villain.
 
2013-07-12 02:27:53 PM  
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-07-12 02:28:21 PM  

Dr Dreidel: Doom?
GI Joe: Retaliation?
The Tooth Fairy?

I guess what I'm saying is "The Rock needs to pick his films more carefully."


Meh I don't ever fault The Rock for doing The Tooth Fairy. He did that so there would be a movie that he could watch with his daughter as she couldn't watch any of the other ones.

It's why I would never fault Raul Julia for Street Fighter as it was a way to spend time with his kids and make some money for his family before he died.
 
2013-07-12 02:28:34 PM  
What about that crazy Sean connery movie, with the floating head and the red diaper outfit. Zardoz?
 
2013-07-12 02:28:37 PM  

tricycleracer: scottydoesntknow: Michael Caine for Jaws: The Revenge

"I have never seen it," he once said of Jaws: The Revenge (1987), in which he took a supporting role, "but by all accounts it is terrible. However, I have seen the house that it built, and it is terrific."


Bob Goldthwait once did a bit in his standup about his kids being embarresed of his films...

"I can't believe you did the talking horse movie"

"SHut up, that movie payed for the swimming pool!"

(from memory, so probably not word perfect, but you get the idea)
 
2013-07-12 02:30:58 PM  

Mikey1969: the High School did a combo dance/sponsored movie, and t



Leslie: Rupert Marshetta, where have you been all year?

Rupert: The Bahamas, what does it look like?

Leslie: Well, you can't come in here unless you're dressed from Dallas or Dynasty.
 
2013-07-12 02:32:19 PM  

squegeebooo: What about that crazy Sean connery movie, with the floating head and the red diaper outfit. Zardoz?


At the time, Sean's stock wasn't very high...
 
2013-07-12 02:32:33 PM  

luidprand: TuteTibiImperes: Sybarite: Alicia Silverstone and Sigourney Weaver in "Vamps" (2012)

First, I don't think anyone has thought of Alicia Silverstone as a "huge celebrity" in well over a decade now. Second, I was wondering what ever happened to Amy Heckerling.

I think Krysten Ritter has more celebrity cache than Silverstone these days.  In fact, I think I want to see that movie now just because she's in it.

Amy Heckerling AND Krysten Ritter? How did I not hear of this earlier?


It played one (1) theater and made a little over $3K in the two weeks it was out. Went to video shortly thereafter.
 
2013-07-12 02:33:50 PM  
www.nickcave.com
wish i could do this with my hair.
 
2013-07-12 02:34:02 PM  

baka-san: squegeebooo: What about that crazy Sean connery movie, with the floating head and the red diaper outfit. Zardoz?

At the time, Sean's stock wasn't very high...


It was at the end of his bond run, how is that not high?
 
2013-07-12 02:37:12 PM  
Spartan with Val Kilmer is turrible. Couldn't even finish it...
 
2013-07-12 02:38:31 PM  

squegeebooo: baka-san: squegeebooo: What about that crazy Sean connery movie, with the floating head and the red diaper outfit. Zardoz?

At the time, Sean's stock wasn't very high...

It was at the end of his bond run, how is that not high?


Exactly, he was still typecast as Bond...


Hell, as far as I'm concerned, Never say Never Again was his true low point...
 
2013-07-12 02:38:51 PM  

baka-san: squegeebooo: What about that crazy Sean connery movie, with the floating head and the red diaper outfit. Zardoz?

At the time, Sean's stock wasn't very high...


The seventies were generally a bad time for movies in general. Still, Zardoz didn't do him much harm. Within a couple of years he did Robin and Marian, A Bridge too Far, and The Man who would be King. Those were plum roles.
 
2013-07-12 02:42:22 PM  
Which huge celebrity are they mentioning for No Holds Barred?  I do put Lister on my lists of if he is in a film I should watch it.
 
2013-07-12 02:42:41 PM  
Ed Norton - Death To Smoochy
 
2013-07-12 02:42:41 PM  

wiwille: And there's this gem:
[www.moviezit.com image 400x600]


Still amazing that a movie directed by Brian De Palma working with that source material could be so hilariously awful.
 
2013-07-12 02:47:11 PM  

wjllope: Ed Norton - Death To Smoochy


I actually found that entertaining on how dark it was.  Mostly because Robin Williams played such a psychopath and Norton played such a goob.

It was Dark Comedy trying to be Dark Comedy.
 
2013-07-12 02:47:39 PM  

DjangoStonereaver: Mangoose: No Holds Barred was a fantastic movie.

Well, it had at least 2 reasons to see it:

[www.wearysloth.com image 320x240]

GIS for "Joan Severance" and you'll see them more clearly (NSFW of course).


God. Now you have me thinking back to all those after dark/joe bob briggs drive-in movies. Ah, back to the days when entertainment wasn't so serious.
 
2013-07-12 02:47:46 PM  
3rd Matrix movie.

/First one had so much promise.
 
2013-07-12 02:48:05 PM  

under a mountain: [theseconddisc.files.wordpress.com image 450x270]

What's going on in this thread?


If you are saying Mad Mad World is a bad movie, you and me are going to have words.  That was a brilliant film.
 
2013-07-12 02:48:50 PM  

wjllope: Ed Norton - Death To Smoochy


My favorite bit about that movie is Henry Rollins talking about when he auditioned to play the boxer.
 
2013-07-12 02:49:28 PM  

ferretman: I thought Battlefield Earth was okay....


So you're the one...

wiwille: Gene Hackman:

[i2.listal.com image 600x803]


No, that whole farking movie is a true Delroy Lindo.  As in: "I've seen better film on teeth."

And DC wonders why Superman went way downhill in the 80s and hasn't really come up for air until MoS.
 
2013-07-12 02:50:03 PM  

Summer Glau's Love Slave: 3rd Matrix movie.

/First one had so much promise.


The second one was three lbs of shiat in a 2lb bucket too.
 
2013-07-12 02:50:19 PM  

Mikey1969: Holy Fark people, you want to know why movie 'A' or movie 'B' isn't on the list? Watch the footage from The Conqueror, it should take up all 7 positions itself. Seriously, John Wayne as Genghis Kahn, without bothering to lose the 'Aw, Shucks, ma'am' drawl? NO other movie with good actors can be this bad.


Combine that with the fact they filmed it in Nevada on top of radioactive fallout dirt (that they then trucked into the studio to make sure they had continuity) and that many people involved with the film then died of various cancers.
 
2013-07-12 02:53:09 PM  

Whatthefark: [i41.tinypic.com image 270x317]


Whaaaaaaaaaaa!??!  That's an awesome movie.
 
2013-07-12 02:55:04 PM  

baka-san: tricycleracer: scottydoesntknow: Michael Caine for Jaws: The Revenge

"I have never seen it," he once said of Jaws: The Revenge (1987), in which he took a supporting role, "but by all accounts it is terrible. However, I have seen the house that it built, and it is terrific."

Bob Goldthwait once did a bit in his standup about his kids being embarresed of his films...

"I can't believe you did the talking horse movie"

"SHut up, that movie payed for the swimming pool!"

(from memory, so probably not word perfect, but you get the idea)


Eddie Murphy was talking about getting signed up for one of his films, it may have actually been Pluto Nash, where he refused the script because it was so bad.  He said that the producers wrote a number down and he said "what is this, a phone number?" and they replied "that's what we'll pay you"
 
2013-07-12 02:55:52 PM  

squegeebooo: It was at the end of his bond run, how is that not high?


baka-san mentioned this, but Connery was tired of being Bond and wanted to break out into more serious acting. "Zardoz" was supposed to be a high-concept prestige film, something bigger and bolder than "2001: a Space Odyssey". I think we know what happened to that idea.
 
2013-07-12 02:59:07 PM  

Summer Glau's Love Slave: 3rd Matrix movie.

/First one had so much promise.


First one was such a mindfark that I was sure there had to be an awesome novel out there that it was based on. Second one barely kept me interested. Never been able to make it through the third...
 
2013-07-12 03:01:44 PM  

wraithmare: Mikey1969: Holy Fark people, you want to know why movie 'A' or movie 'B' isn't on the list? Watch the footage from The Conqueror, it should take up all 7 positions itself. Seriously, John Wayne as Genghis Kahn, without bothering to lose the 'Aw, Shucks, ma'am' drawl? NO other movie with good actors can be this bad.

Combine that with the fact they filmed it in Nevada on top of radioactive fallout dirt (that they then trucked into the studio to make sure they had continuity) and that many people involved with the film then died of various cancers.


That's some truly farked up shiat... Fun fact: Apparently due to general prevailing winds, Utah has received a lot of that soil over the years. I get the idea that there's more radioactive soil in Utah than Nevada at this point.
 
Displayed 50 of 169 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report