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(Chron)   Fresh on the heels of acquitting the guy who beat a puppy to death with a baseball bat, Iowa's Supreme Court Rules it is okay to fire an employee because she's so hot you are worried you might try to have an affair with her   (chron.com) divider line 41
    More: Asinine, Iowa, supreme court ruling, sex discriminations  
•       •       •

9544 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Jul 2013 at 11:31 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-07-12 11:39:18 AM  
10 votes:
It is the natural inclination for dentists to want to
*puts on sunglasses*
fill cavities.

YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAH!
2013-07-12 11:38:42 AM  
5 votes:

Mock26:


It's Iowa. Being under four hundred pounds and not slathered in HFCS and corn husks is like being Helen of Troy out there.
2013-07-12 12:06:43 PM  
4 votes:

Magorn: Well, it CAN be an impediment to productivity in the office.  When running a team of contractors at a fed agency  I once hired a girl (on the basis of a telphone interview ironically enough)  so incandescantly hot, she even made me a little weak in the knees to look at her.  At the end of the first week I actually had to have a sit-down with the Center Director (gov side) to tell him that he needed to put a leash on half of his senior staff, as my employee was being pestered by very senior GS-14& 15 Kawyers and managers who kept stopping by her desk to offer to "show her around", "Train" her (my job), or just "make sure she had all the supplies she needed" (a gs-15 who  didn't even know where the supply closet WAS mind you).

The day she came in dressed to go out clubbing later that night, I thanked all the gods that I'd actually worked as an Employment Dicrimination/Sexual Harrasmen lawyer on the Plaintiff's side for a summer, so I knew pretty much EXACTLY what I could and could not legally say, as I tried to make her aware that while we had no dress code,  a corset top and short skirt wasn't giving her the professional image she needed to maintain (and was causing physical pain to some of the horndogs in the office-but I didn't say that part)


You're totally doing it wrong. The first few days you're around her, you need to put out a strong "in the closet but HR and supervisors don't know" vibe. Use the "Name that color" Javascript app so that you can say things like "that's a nice shade of Apricot on your nail polish", or "Hawaiian tan shoes don't really go with those slacks".

Within 2 weeks, you can be staring at her cleavage from 8 inches away and she'll think you're displeased with the fabric of her top...
2013-07-12 11:44:24 AM  
4 votes:

WhippingBoy: hardinparamedic: How, in the hell, is this not gender discrimination in violation of the Civil Rights Act of 1964?

Can someone who has a GED in Law Explain this to me?

So if the boss was gay, and he fired an attractive man, what would it be then?


butthurt
2013-07-12 11:39:11 AM  
4 votes:

Harry Freakstorm: It's Iowa, so that's like five women. Prove me wrong Farkers. Prove me wrong with photographic evidence.

/No boss Friday.


Found her..

o.aolcdn.com
2013-07-12 12:36:20 PM  
3 votes:

MikeBoomshadow: Lexx: stuffy: As a man I find this verdict insulting. Its like saying we are all walking penises with no impulse control. Whats next Iowa, letting rapist go because the woman was dressed too sexy?

Logically the court is saying anyone can fire anyone they're attracted to.

I want to fark Sarah Palin. If she is ever elected president, can she be thrown out of office based on that, or do 270 members of the Electoral College have to want to nail her?


I wouldn't worry.  If she ever gets to be President, we'll all be farked.
2013-07-12 11:45:04 AM  
3 votes:
The ruling upholds a judge's decision to dismiss a discrimination lawsuit filed against Fort Dodge dentist James Knight, who fired assistant Melissa Nelson, even while acknowledging she had been a stellar employee for 10 years. Knight and his wife believed that his attraction to Nelson - two decades younger than the dentist - had become a threat to their marriage. Nelson, now 33, was replaced by another woman; Knight had an all-female staff.

I'll bet that all-female staff got a little younger and cheaper to pay.

On the upside, Ms Nelson can now put on her resume "I was fired for being too pretty."

Interviewer: You worked there for 10 years?
Nelson: Yes. I was a stellar employee. I revamped the scheduling...
Interviewer: And he fired you after ten years for being too pretty?
Nelson: Yes. I also color coded the inventory to speed...
Interviewer: So, you were younger and you got prettier. What? Nu-boobs? Were you a young fatty?
Nelson: No! I just got so pretty that I was a threat to his marriage. Now, please. I would like to discuss my qualifications. I have a degree...
Interviewer: Well, here is our problem: Are you just going to continue to get prettier? If we hired you and you and in a few years, you achieve Anniston grade beauty, then we might have to fire you also. You can see our concern. So, do you anticipate getting prettier?
2013-07-12 11:37:17 AM  
3 votes:
APPLICANT: Well, I type about 90 words a minute. I'm completely well-versed in all IBM and Macintosh programs.

GEORGE: (looking over her resume) Well Miss Coggins you're ah, obviously qualified for the job. You've all the necessary skills and experience. But you're extremely attractive. you're gorgeous. I'm looking at you, I can't even remember my name. So ah, I'm afraid this is not going to work out (he crumples her resume into a ball) Thanks for coming in.
2013-07-12 01:54:53 PM  
2 votes:
I'm sure that went over so well with his wife.

"Don't worry honey, I was really attracted to that girl at work...  I mean REALLY, REALLY attracted... The things I wanted to do to her... But.. I love you so much that I fired her..  If I hadn't..  I would have tried to start something...  This was the ONLY way for me to keep from trying to have sex at her."
2013-07-12 12:28:53 PM  
2 votes:

Lexx: stuffy: As a man I find this verdict insulting. Its like saying we are all walking penises with no impulse control. Whats next Iowa, letting rapist go because the woman was dressed too sexy?

Logically the court is saying anyone can fire anyone they're attracted to.


I want to fark Sarah Palin. If she is ever elected president, can she be thrown out of office based on that, or do 270 members of the Electoral College have to want to nail her?
2013-07-12 12:22:22 PM  
2 votes:

ZeroPly: Magorn: Well, it CAN be an impediment to productivity in the office.  When running a team of contractors at a fed agency  I once hired a girl (on the basis of a telphone interview ironically enough)  so incandescantly hot, she even made me a little weak in the knees to look at her.  At the end of the first week I actually had to have a sit-down with the Center Director (gov side) to tell him that he needed to put a leash on half of his senior staff, as my employee was being pestered by very senior GS-14& 15 Kawyers and managers who kept stopping by her desk to offer to "show her around", "Train" her (my job), or just "make sure she had all the supplies she needed" (a gs-15 who  didn't even know where the supply closet WAS mind you).

The day she came in dressed to go out clubbing later that night, I thanked all the gods that I'd actually worked as an Employment Dicrimination/Sexual Harrasmen lawyer on the Plaintiff's side for a summer, so I knew pretty much EXACTLY what I could and could not legally say, as I tried to make her aware that while we had no dress code,  a corset top and short skirt wasn't giving her the professional image she needed to maintain (and was causing physical pain to some of the horndogs in the office-but I didn't say that part)

You're totally doing it wrong. The first few days you're around her, you need to put out a strong "in the closet but HR and supervisors don't know" vibe. Use the "Name that color" Javascript app so that you can say things like "that's a nice shade of Apricot on your nail polish", or "Hawaiian tan shoes don't really go with those slacks".

Within 2 weeks, you can be staring at her cleavage from 8 inches away and she'll think you're displeased with the fabric of her top...


www.squidmobile.com
2013-07-12 11:57:24 AM  
2 votes:

BarleyGnome: Stupid decision..


We walked in, sat down, Obie came in with the twenty seven eight-by-ten
Colour glossy pictures with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back
Of each one, sat down. Man came in said, "All rise." We all stood up,
And Obie stood up with the twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy
Pictures, and the judge walked in sat down with a seeing eye dog, and he
Sat down, we sat down. Obie looked at the seeing eye dog, and then at the
Twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures with circles and arrows
And a paragraph on the back of each one, and looked at the seeing eye dog.
And then at twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures with circles
And arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one and began to cry,
'cause Obie came to the realization that it was a typical case of American
Blind justice
2013-07-12 11:54:14 AM  
2 votes:

Tyrone Biggums: APPLICANT: Well, I type about 90 words a minute. I'm completely well-versed in all IBM and Macintosh programs.

GEORGE: (looking over her resume) Well Miss Coggins you're ah, obviously qualified for the job. You've all the necessary skills and experience. But you're extremely attractive. you're gorgeous. I'm looking at you, I can't even remember my name. So ah, I'm afraid this is not going to work out (he crumples her resume into a ball) Thanks for coming in.


Well, it CAN be an impediment to productivity in the office.  When running a team of contractors at a fed agency  I once hired a girl (on the basis of a telphone interview ironically enough)  so incandescantly hot, she even made me a little weak in the knees to look at her.  At the end of the first week I actually had to have a sit-down with the Center Director (gov side) to tell him that he needed to put a leash on half of his senior staff, as my employee was being pestered by very senior GS-14& 15 Kawyers and managers who kept stopping by her desk to offer to "show her around", "Train" her (my job), or just "make sure she had all the supplies she needed" (a gs-15 who  didn't even know where the supply closet WAS mind you).

The day she came in dressed to go out clubbing later that night, I thanked all the gods that I'd actually worked as an Employment Dicrimination/Sexual Harrasmen lawyer on the Plaintiff's side for a summer, so I knew pretty much EXACTLY what I could and could not legally say, as I tried to make her aware that while we had no dress code,  a corset top and short skirt wasn't giving her the professional image she needed to maintain (and was causing physical pain to some of the horndogs in the office-but I didn't say that part)
2013-07-12 11:50:11 AM  
2 votes:

thisisyourbrainonFark: [m5.paperblog.com image 850x637]

Uh, hmmm, well 2 out of 5 ain't bad.


Yes, yes, no, no, yes.

/ who am I kidding?
// yes, yes, yes, yes, yes
2013-07-12 11:47:32 AM  
2 votes:

hardinparamedic: How, in the hell, is this not gender discrimination in violation of the Civil Rights Act of 1964?

Can someone who has a GED in Law Explain this to me?


Well, from the ruling, it's based on attraction, not gender. He could just as easily have fired a man whom he felt unduly attracted to.

This is the same supreme court that legalized gay marriage in the state, so they have a track record of not taking gender into account.

I guess the reality that there are more heterosexual males in positions of power and therefore more women that can legally be fired for hotness doesn't matter.

So now I guess the gameplan is: hit on the hotties, but not in an overtly obvious way (so they can't sue for sexual harrassment). If they don't respond positively, fire the biatches. If they complain, cite the Iowa supreme court. Say that they threatened your marriage/peace of mind/whatever. Then the other hotties will see what the score is and learn to play ball or hit the road. Life is good.
2013-07-12 11:35:09 AM  
2 votes:
Well if there's a disability to have, being so hot that people want to have affairs with you is the one to get.
2013-07-12 11:33:41 AM  
2 votes:
It's Iowa, so that's like five women. Prove me wrong Farkers. Prove me wrong with photographic evidence.

/No boss Friday.
2013-07-12 02:49:40 PM  
1 votes:

catmandu: Harry Freakstorm: It's Iowa, so that's like five women. Prove me wrong Farkers. Prove me wrong with photographic evidence.


Two more to add:

From Cedar Rapids:

[i283.photobucket.com image 327x400]

From Dubuque:

[i283.photobucket.com image 299x400]


i.imgur.com

That may be the nerdiest post in the history of Fark.

I mean, either you happened to know off the top of your head the birthplaces/childhood residencies of everyone/everywoman on every "Star Trek," or the first place you went when looking for attractive Iowans was "Star Trek." There's just no way around it. You are a massive, massive nerd.
2013-07-12 02:23:51 PM  
1 votes:

Rabid Turnip: Magorn:Cú Chulainn , for example is the early celtic version of Batman

While I found your entire post intriuging, this little piece just jumped out and smacked me across the face.  I never, ever thought about it that way and now I can't get the image out of my head of an early celtic Batman.  Bwahahaha!

/off to GIS for "celtic Batman"
//the weird shiat you find on Fark



Why is there a batman in nothing but a cowl?

/Seriously, full frontal.
//He's already rich, handsome, smart, and an awesome fighter.  He doesn't need a big wang.
2013-07-12 01:24:47 PM  
1 votes:

Tyrone Biggums: APPLICANT: Well, I type about 90 words a minute. I'm completely well-versed in all IBM and Macintosh programs.

GEORGE: (looking over her resume) Well Miss Coggins you're ah, obviously qualified for the job. You've all the necessary skills and experience. But you're extremely attractive. you're gorgeous. I'm looking at you, I can't even remember my name. So ah, I'm afraid this is not going to work out (he crumples her resume into a ball) Thanks for coming in.


George: Also 1990 called and they want their terms for Windows and Mac back.  Perhaps you should update your resume'.

/I need to update mine too.
2013-07-12 01:21:22 PM  
1 votes:
Magorn:Cú Chulainn , for example is the early celtic version of Batman

While I found your entire post intriuging, this little piece just jumped out and smacked me across the face.  I never, ever thought about it that way and now I can't get the image out of my head of an early celtic Batman.  Bwahahaha!

/off to GIS for "celtic Batman"
//the weird shiat you find on Fark
2013-07-12 01:04:58 PM  
1 votes:

Electromax: So basically, if you're a relatively attractive woman you should find another dentist because this dude has no impulse control. The other dentists in the city should put that on a billboard.


At the very least, don't let him put you under general anaesthesia or you might get more than just your teeth drilled.
2013-07-12 12:38:27 PM  
1 votes:
I wonder if he'll think it's fair that I am afraid I'll have this irrepressible urge to kick him in the balls any time I'm near him.
2013-07-12 12:31:48 PM  
1 votes:

thisisyourbrainonFark: [m5.paperblog.com image 850x637]

Uh, hmmm, well 2 out of 5 ain't bad.


Saw the picture, thought "hmmm. 2 out of 5", scrolled down and saw your comment.

Laughed pretty farking hard.

/GUYS!!!!
2013-07-12 12:26:13 PM  
1 votes:
And they approved gay marriage.

shiatty Supreme Court for sure.
2013-07-12 12:24:42 PM  
1 votes:

sdd2000: redmid17: tortilla burger: She had warned the opinion could allow bosses to legally fire ... small-breasted workers in favor of big-breasted workers.

If I recall correctly, I believe you're allowed to discriminate against ugly/attractive people during the hiring process...even without the "my wife made me do it" defense. It would be odd to have mismatching rulings on hiring and firing employees based the same criterion.

That being said, it seems like nowadays you can be fired for any made-up reason, the employer just has to choose a politically correct made-up reason. Not that it really matters, when it comes down to it.

In a right to work employment at will state you can be fired for any reason that doesn't discriminate against a protected class?

FTFY
Right to work =/= employment at will


"Confusing right to work with at will employment. I'm fired."
2013-07-12 12:07:54 PM  
1 votes:

Harry Freakstorm: It's Iowa, so that's like five women. Prove me wrong Farkers. Prove me wrong with photographic evidence.

/No boss Friday.


I'm trying to figure out if this is a Mormon joke or not.
media.metronews.topscms.com
2013-07-12 12:04:03 PM  
1 votes:

stuffy: As a man I find this verdict insulting. Its like saying we are all walking penises with no impulse control. Whats next Iowa, letting rapist go because the woman was dressed too sexy?


From everything I've seen/heard/read. Conservatives would be happy if that was the rule of the land.
Because it can't be a mans fault. He is pure and innocent, it's those evil, sexy, women. With their eyes and legs and boobs and.....
2013-07-12 12:02:33 PM  
1 votes:
static.someecards.com
2013-07-12 11:51:16 AM  
1 votes:

RubberBabyBuggyBumpers: vudukungfu: WhippingBoy: hardinparamedic: How, in the hell, is this not gender discrimination in violation of the Civil Rights Act of 1964?

Can someone who has a GED in Law Explain this to me?

So if the boss was gay, and he fired an attractive man, what would it be then?

butthurt

Whether or not the attractive man was fired there'd be butthurt. Amirite?


Probably only the first few times.
2013-07-12 11:50:13 AM  
1 votes:

Harry Freakstorm: The ruling upholds a judge's decision to dismiss a discrimination lawsuit filed against Fort Dodge dentist James Knight, who fired assistant Melissa Nelson, even while acknowledging she had been a stellar employee for 10 years. Knight and his wife believed that his attraction to Nelson - two decades younger than the dentist - had become a threat to their marriage. Nelson, now 33, was replaced by another woman; Knight had an all-female staff.

I'll bet that all-female staff got a little younger and cheaper to pay.

On the upside, Ms Nelson can now put on her resume "I was fired for being too pretty."

Interviewer: You worked there for 10 years?
Nelson: Yes. I was a stellar employee. I revamped the scheduling...
Interviewer: And he fired you after ten years for being too pretty?
Nelson: Yes. I also color coded the inventory to speed...
Interviewer: So, you were younger and you got prettier. What? Nu-boobs? Were you a young fatty?
Nelson: No! I just got so pretty that I was a threat to his marriage. Now, please. I would like to discuss my qualifications. I have a degree...
Interviewer: Well, here is our problem: Are you just going to continue to get prettier? If we hired you and you and in a few years, you achieve Anniston grade beauty, then we might have to fire you also. You can see our concern. So, do you anticipate getting prettier?


Sounds like a case for Diana Moon Glampers.

/Knows this isn't obscure.
2013-07-12 11:47:52 AM  
1 votes:

tortilla burger: She had warned the opinion could allow bosses to legally fire ... small-breasted workers in favor of big-breasted workers.

If I recall correctly, I believe you're allowed to discriminate against ugly/attractive people during the hiring process...even without the "my wife made me do it" defense. It would be odd to have mismatching rulings on hiring and firing employees based the same criterion.

That being said, it seems like nowadays you can be fired for any made-up reason, the employer just has to choose a politically correct made-up reason. Not that it really matters, when it comes down to it.


In a right to work state you can be fired for any reason that doesn't discriminate against a protected class?

"I don't like the way you answer the phone. Fired."
"I don't like the way you lean back in your chair after lunch. Fired"
"You have a nasally voice that makes the managers want to throw you off the roof. Fired"
2013-07-12 11:47:25 AM  
1 votes:

thisisyourbrainonFark: [m5.paperblog.com image 850x637]

Uh, hmmm, well 2 out of 5 ain't bad.


WTF? Do they put "breast growth suppressant" in the water or something?
2013-07-12 11:47:09 AM  
1 votes:
His wife made him do it. the courts can not legally tell you to argue with your wife,
2013-07-12 11:46:04 AM  
1 votes:
m5.paperblog.com

Uh, hmmm, well 2 out of 5 ain't bad.
2013-07-12 11:46:01 AM  
1 votes:

stuffy: As a man I find this verdict insulting. Its like saying we are all walking penises with no impulse control.


Your point?
2013-07-12 11:44:21 AM  
1 votes:

exick: You can be fired/not hired for being an uggo too


It's true. Target hires reasonably attractive employees while K-Mart seems to hire the ugliest, saddest people they can find. While I salute their charity efforts, it's not really bringing customers in to the store.
2013-07-12 11:43:06 AM  
1 votes:

Drew P Balls: Thank goodness for right to work legislation.  I think it may have saved that dentist's marriage.


And what a marriage it is too!

"Honey, I wanted to have an affair with an attractive woman."
"WHAT???"
"But it's OK! I fired her!"
"Oh, well, OK then. Because I know for a fact that the only way you would ever meet another attractive woman is if she worked for you."

They must be fundies. This sounds like a "remove the temptation" thing that would sound completely reasonable and logical to people like that.
2013-07-12 11:41:01 AM  
1 votes:

hardinparamedic: How, in the hell, is this not gender discrimination in violation of the Civil Rights Act of 1964?

Can someone who has a GED in Law Explain this to me?


It's not that she's female, it's that he's attracted to her.  If he were bi, he could fire a male OR female employee.  It's not discrimination on the basis of her sex, it's discrimination on the basis of his lust, regardless of what sex he's lusting for.
2013-07-12 11:38:10 AM  
1 votes:
I'm worried I might use a Judge on that bat.

NSA? Hello? Anybody home?
2013-07-12 11:37:47 AM  
1 votes:
Shiat, looks like i'll be out of a job soon then if this goes national...

/no i won't
//fugly chode
 
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