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(Uproxx)   The giant robots of Pacific Rim get vastly improved names   (uproxx.com) divider line 50
    More: Amusing, giant robots, Warner Brothers, Straub  
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6777 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 12 Jul 2013 at 11:49 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-07-12 03:07:32 PM  
3 votes:

Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: Sgt Otter: Cubicle Jockey: nitefallz: scottydoesntknow: A current drone, such as a Predator armed with Hellfire missiles, would make quick work of that dude.
But the fight scenes would be boring. And so we get Transformers-like things.
Meh.

A few hellfire missiles are going to take down a 300 foot, 2000 ton monster?


Considering that the trailers showed that conventional weaponry didn't seem to work, it's a strange thing for him to have a nitpick on.

Wild Mass Guessing: The kaijus have an outrageous healing factor that requires a singular massive damaging strike to kill or injure them?

I haven't seen it yet, but a friend mentioned that the Kaiju's blood is EXTREMELY toxic, so killing just one with conventional weapons in the ocean is like creating a BP oil spill every time.  They developed the Jaegars to basically bludgeon them to death.

"It's too dangerous to oceanic wildlife if we blow them up at sea. Better wait until they're in downtown Hong Kong where it's safer."

\

All of these "plot holes" are explained by "shut up, it's a movie in which giant robots are built to stop giant monsters from destroying Earth."

1) Why would giant robots be the best weapon against these monsters?
a) Because shut up, it's a movie in which giant robots are built to stop giant monsters from destroying Earth.

2) Why don't they just shoot them with nukes?
a) Because shut up, it's a movie in which giant robots are built to stop giant monsters from destroying Earth.

...etc.

It's a hilarious B-movie script shot with the finest in AAA Hollywood visuals by an accomplished director with both an immense passion for the genre and a finely tuned ability to translate fantasy action to the big screen. If you go in and don't take it any more seriously than del Toro did when he was making it, you'll probably have a really great time.

But really, I think you should go see it because shut up, it's a movie in which giant robots are built to stop giant monsters from destroying Earth.
2013-07-12 12:36:03 PM  
3 votes:

nitefallz: I saw the movie in IMAX last night and was really thrilled.  It's not Shakespeare but who would even think that?  What the fark are you expecting from this genre?

I expected giant mechs fighting giant monsters.  That's what I got in the best visual presentation of the genre in the history of film making and everyone in the theater farking loved it.  Of course the theater was full of nerds, too.

You have to see the movie to answer some of those obvious questions as to why big robots instead of whatever else, or nukes, etc.  Some of that information is online too.


but did any of the mechs transform from a fighter to a flyer, or did any of the mechs assemble into a larger mech?
2013-07-13 02:09:03 AM  
2 votes:

Shadowknight: HotWingAgenda: Here's the thing: if Michael Bay released the exact same f*cking movie, it would be universally panned and there would be a nonstop Fark hatefest over it. The fact that a great dramatic filmmaker can make a piece of steaming sh*t like this and get a pass just because of who he is makes me want to dropkick a bunny rabbit.

Same material, done differently.  If you give two people a sea bass, and one makes it with a light garlic breading with a hint of lemon and the other rolls it around in yard debris before deep frying it, I imagine one would be favored and one would be universally panned.


Exactly. VERY different approach. For one thing, to start out, del Toro is a geek and Bay is a fratboy. This is incredibly self-evident in the way they direct. For example, in every scene, the Jaegers and Kaiju are lovingly cinematographed, even when their wrestling. It's obviously made by a man who loves to geek out over robots and monsters. The Transformers, in contrast, are there to make explosions and crack jokes. The Transformers are obviously designed by geeks, because there's lots of lovely details, but Bay never gives the camera a chance to give us a good look. The only time Bay gives the camera a good time to stay in place for more than two seconds is if there's an ass on screen. With Pacific Rim, if del Toro had the chance to give us a good 5-minute tracking shot of Gipsy Danger showing off every little detail, I'm sure he would.

Another thing is del Toro's approach to characters. Though somewhat cliched, each of them have enough quirks to make them unique, except maybe the main character, though this is not the only film to have had trouble recently getting their main white male twenty-thirty something lead to be unique, so I don't take too much off for that. We all know del Toro's good at putting out good strong main characters. Hellboy, anyone? So, it's more a problem of recent trends in movies than anything else. Anyways, look at the way del Toro and Bay approach their main female characters. Megan Fox and what's her name from the 3rd Transformers were only there to bring two things. Tits and ass. And a third, get in danger, I guess. Bay is a fratboy, he doesn't look at women as anything less. Meanwhile, Rinko Kikuchi's character in Pacific Rim, Mako, is an actual human character. She has a tragic backstory, she's shy, she's badass. And, perhaps the thing most in contrast to Bay's style, there are absolutely no scenes where the camera is admiring her body. In fact, her body is pretty normal compared to Bay's surgically-enhanced bimbos. The least she wears is a tank top and sweatpants. If Bay were directing this, he'd probably cast someone with big boobs who'd probably wear a bikini instead of armor.

So, yeah, apple and oranges. People think this is a good movie because it IS a good movie.
2013-07-12 08:31:14 PM  
2 votes:

Swoop1809: SPOILERS

Why didnt they use the goddamn swords the whole time?? They freaking sharknadoed a monster with the sword under water.


It's for dramatic effect. This movie is not meant to be realistic. It's a live action anime, two steps away from being Gurren Lagann (which is the ultimate in "we're going to gleefully fark logic and realism and everyone's going to love every minute of it!") Its a long-established trope of withholding your game-breaking supermove until the last minute. Who knows, maybe it had to charge up, or it uses resources when deployed that are needed for earlier in the fight, like the Elbow Rocket. How, I don't know. Who cares. Don't worry about it, and release your inner child while watching this movie
2013-07-12 04:20:34 PM  
2 votes:
Why are people arguing about the most realistic way to fight giant monsters in the ocean?
2013-07-12 01:01:32 PM  
2 votes:
d.pr
2013-07-12 11:58:13 AM  
2 votes:
Weedlord Bonerhitler.
2013-07-12 11:57:45 AM  
2 votes:
Your blog sucks?


Walker: Looks like a Power Rangers movie without the campy humor. Pass.

Power Rangers: Humans sit in giant robots and fight giant monsters.
Pacific Rim: Humans sit in giant robots and fight giant monsters.


It is a godzilla movie.
2013-07-12 11:01:52 AM  
2 votes:
Looks like a Power Rangers movie without the campy humor. Pass.

Power Rangers: Humans sit in giant robots and fight giant monsters.
Pacific Rim: Humans sit in giant robots and fight giant monsters.
2013-07-13 01:09:19 AM  
1 votes:
Saw it, liked it.

I know it goes against general movie critique, but you're really better off not questioning why they have the Jaegers to fight the Kaiju. It's a flimsy premise and we all know it, but this movie exists to have giant robots fight giant monsters. The story simply exists for the purpose of putting those pieces in place in the most logical way possible.

Even so, Del Toro did a great job on this one. The characters are basic tropes, but they're enjoyable enough. Charlie Day in particular really knocks his role out of the park and steals every scene he appears in. Yeah, he's still basically channeling his Always Sunny character into a science-nerd, but it's still really enjoyable and keeps things from getting too serious. Perlman was likewise really enjoyable, and I wish we'd gotten more of him. I really liked the idea of there being a black market for kaiju parts, since the clean-up portion of giant monster fights is often overlooked.

Most importantly, the movie does a really good job at letting the viewer know what's happening in the fight. Unlike every single fight in Transformers, where everything just turns into a steel-colored blur of nonsense, the fights here are well-choreographed and easy to follow, which is a godsend. Bay should be forced to watch this film on repeat before he dares ever bring Transformers around again.

/if I have one complaint, it's that I really had a hard time buying that everyone would stop building the effective giant robots in favor of a giant freakin' wall
//seriously, you'd think they would be cranking them out nonstop if only because the military would love the endless funding
///my bet is the wall had some really good lobbyists
2013-07-13 12:45:21 AM  
1 votes:
Saw it in 3D reclining in a very comfy chair after a martini.  Great fun and good summer escapism. It's giant robots beating the hell out of monsters. It's not high cinema but it was a great time.
2013-07-12 08:23:42 PM  
1 votes:

Swoop1809: SPOILERS

Why didnt they use the goddamn swords the whole time?? They freaking sharknadoed a monster with the sword under water.


media.screened.com
You mean to tell me you could have taken your hand out of those cuffs at anytime?
No, not anytime. Only when it was funny!

They saved the sword for a big dramatic moment in the fight. Tension and pacing trump logic in this regard. It made the end of that fight more exciting.
2013-07-12 07:43:16 PM  
1 votes:

Hollie Maea: Those who have gone:  Were there a lot of people in the theatres?  The "Box office pundits" are still assuring me that Adam Sandler is going to beat this because "it can't overcome poor tracking".


It was pretty crowded. About 75%+, but for some reason, the theater picked a smaller screen. But people were cheering, laughing, holy shiatting, and applauding. And no, it's not much of movie for adults, but so what? It's the ultimate kids' (boys') movie, hands down. If this doesn't win best VFX at the Oscars', they should just cancel the category, b/c they clearly have no farking clue what they're doing (like picking Brave as best animated picture).
2013-07-12 06:58:04 PM  
1 votes:
Those who have gone:  Were there a lot of people in the theatres?  The "Box office pundits" are still assuring me that Adam Sandler is going to beat this because "it can't overcome poor tracking".
2013-07-12 06:41:33 PM  
1 votes:
I grew up on monsters and mecha, deep in the guts of the 70's and early 80's.  This movie was fan-farking-tastic.  I'm going again tomorrow.

The 3-D is entertaining and well done, but ultimately not necessary.  If you can get 2D Imax, do that.  There is a stunning amount of detail on the Jaegers and the kaiju.  The kaiju are so Del Toro you could barf.  It's Gundam Wing: Lovecraft.  At the Mountains of Macross.  It definitely riffs decades of Gojira flicks, but does so in a distinctly cracked-out Hellboy style.
2013-07-12 06:35:28 PM  
1 votes:

Cubicle Jockey: nitefallz: scottydoesntknow: A current drone, such as a Predator armed with Hellfire missiles, would make quick work of that dude.
But the fight scenes would be boring. And so we get Transformers-like things.
Meh.

A few hellfire missiles are going to take down a 300 foot, 2000 ton monster?


Considering that the trailers showed that conventional weaponry didn't seem to work, it's a strange thing for him to have a nitpick on.

Wild Mass Guessing: The kaijus have an outrageous healing factor that requires a singular massive damaging strike to kill or injure them?


SPOILER ALERT!!!!

Just got back from seeing Pacific Rim. Early on in the movie, they talk about the first kaiju that shows up; 30 miles later, tens of thousands of people dead, they managed to kill it with missiles and tanks. The 2nd and 3rd monsters the same thing, they're finally killed but not after ravaging places like Seattle and Manila.

Fast forward to the current movie time, a few years after the monsters began appearing. Now they've got giant armored suits controlled by two humans, but rather than arming them with larger missiles and tank guns, which have been proven to kill the monsters, they basically beat them to death with their fists or use a short range "plasma cannon" that takes forever to warm up.

The monsters keep getting bigger, and better armed, and appear more and more often, faster than the humans can build the giant jaeger suits. Politicians decide to end the jaeger program and build a gigantic wall along the Pacific Coast (yeah they decide to do this), but the kaiju smash right through it. The final suit, a retired MkIII, is brought out of storage and upgraded with a pair of swords as well as a rapid fire plasma cannon (that still takes forever to warm up). The other jaeger suits, though, aren't armed with similar weaponry even though they are newer models. The swords are very effective as shown in the final battles, which makes me wonder why they weren't added to the other suits.
2013-07-12 06:21:45 PM  
1 votes:

wildcardjack: I have a general criticism for giant standing tanks or flip flopping spacecraft in sci-fi...

If you move a 100 foot arm (or moment arm) with the same angular speed as a human arm; you'll shred any material you could use to build it.

Unless you've got control over mass-inertia. Then you can write a blank cheque.


In generalized terms, I find that a basic understanding of physics is what makes Japanese anime and mecha movies in general much better. Non-Japanese directors don't seem to understand that breaking all of the rules doesn't mean breaking all of the laws of physics.
2013-07-12 06:17:42 PM  
1 votes:
I have a general criticism for giant standing tanks or flip flopping spacecraft in sci-fi...

If you move a 100 foot arm (or moment arm) with the same angular speed as a human arm; you'll shred any material you could use to build it.

Unless you've got control over mass-inertia. Then you can write a blank cheque.
2013-07-12 05:47:43 PM  
1 votes:

Optimal_Illusion: they would party with Wrangler J Christmastits...
[www.collectiondx.com image 616x456]
/hot like a diarrhea touchdown




Shogun Warriors!

Hey, the shooty things are missing.

But I gotta give it up to Voltron. Mum-Ra, giant robots, and the best part Robeast!
galacticwatercooler.com
2013-07-12 04:43:42 PM  
1 votes:
Cyno01:  the Kaijus blood is extremely toxic and volatile, they blew up one of the first ones and turned, iirc, Tiujana or somewhere into a poisinous no mans land.

So, an improvement then?

/Totally sneaking out of work to see this next week.
2013-07-12 04:19:36 PM  
1 votes:
Its my understanding from something i read a while back that the reason for giant robots instead of conventional weapons is that the Kaijus blood is extremely toxic and volatile, they blew up one of the first ones and turned, iirc, Tiujana or somewhere into a poisinous no mans land. Better to beat them to death and contain things. I think there was also some big cauterizing sword in one of the trailers?

Busy this weekend, and on vacation the next, but will definitly be seeing this ASAP.
2013-07-12 04:15:55 PM  
1 votes:
Just got back. Movie kicks all sorts of ass, sideways, upside down, etc. I've seen a lot of dumb action sci-fi junk over the years, but this looked the best. It's simply gorgeous, beautiful. Yeah, there's a definitive sag in the middle, when the humans have to do human stuff. It's not good, but it's not so terrible as to derail the greatest action beat downs in cinema. Also, it's just cheesy/campy enough to be endearing. I mean, it's a big time summer blockbuster, but that's still Jax from SAMCRO, walking around the Jaeger base w/ his pants in his hand, acting like he's about to grab his bike and go after Clay (who's also in this movie!) Also, there's a goofy plot contrivance to get Jax's robot fighting solo in Hong Kong that's got to be one of the dumbest, funniest, and most memorable lines in sci-fi history. It's like the ultimate hipster rallying cry, and it makes the movie better, BECAUSE it's so dumb. Also, the Russian pilots in their gear look totally bad-ass, that's going to be a very popular Halloween/cosplay get up for years to come.

A+. Its silly flaws somehow make it better. Simply the best visual effects I've ever seen. And Idris Elba got me pregnant, and I'm a dude.

/"It's the end of the world. You want to die here, or in a Jaeger?"
//table finishes their shots
2013-07-12 04:07:51 PM  
1 votes:
img191.imageshack.us
2013-07-12 03:50:23 PM  
1 votes:

Jim from Saint Paul: thecpt: Jim from Saint Paul: Evangelion unit 01?
2?

FARK YOU I WANT LIVE ACTION EVA NOW.

WITHOUT SHINJI

THEN WE WOULD CALL IT GUNDAM. AND GUNDAM SUCKS. *NO*


i326.photobucket.com
/I'm just gonna pimp Gun X Sword while I'm here
2013-07-12 03:06:39 PM  
1 votes:
Seeing it in two hours at a swank theater with booze.  Boss is treating. Hasn't even started and it's epic already.
2013-07-12 02:41:16 PM  
1 votes:
imageshack.us
2013-07-12 02:17:51 PM  
1 votes:
That was anti-funny
2013-07-12 02:13:19 PM  
1 votes:
Big O it's showtime!
2013-07-12 02:12:06 PM  
1 votes:

Madison_Smiled: I lost it at Wrangler J. Christmastits. Something about a giant robot with a middle initial cracks me up.


I started losing at that point, but Benedict Cumberbatch made me laugh loud enough to attract the boss's attention.  Nicely done.
2013-07-12 01:36:15 PM  
1 votes:
I honestly didn't see the Benedict Cumberbatch one coming. That was genuinely funny. All the other hyperbolically-fake-and-ridiculous names were a set-up for that one actual name at the end.
2013-07-12 01:34:28 PM  
1 votes:
I lost it at Wrangler J. Christmastits. Something about a giant robot with a middle initial cracks me up.
2013-07-12 01:30:32 PM  
1 votes:

Sgt Otter: Cubicle Jockey: nitefallz: scottydoesntknow: A current drone, such as a Predator armed with Hellfire missiles, would make quick work of that dude.
But the fight scenes would be boring. And so we get Transformers-like things.
Meh.

A few hellfire missiles are going to take down a 300 foot, 2000 ton monster?


Considering that the trailers showed that conventional weaponry didn't seem to work, it's a strange thing for him to have a nitpick on.

Wild Mass Guessing: The kaijus have an outrageous healing factor that requires a singular massive damaging strike to kill or injure them?

I haven't seen it yet, but a friend mentioned that the Kaiju's blood is EXTREMELY toxic, so killing just one with conventional weapons in the ocean is like creating a BP oil spill every time.  They developed the Jaegars to basically bludgeon them to death.


"It's too dangerous to oceanic wildlife if we blow them up at sea. Better wait until they're in downtown Hong Kong where it's safer."
2013-07-12 01:28:18 PM  
1 votes:

Cubicle Jockey: nitefallz: scottydoesntknow: A current drone, such as a Predator armed with Hellfire missiles, would make quick work of that dude.
But the fight scenes would be boring. And so we get Transformers-like things.
Meh.

A few hellfire missiles are going to take down a 300 foot, 2000 ton monster?


Considering that the trailers showed that conventional weaponry didn't seem to work, it's a strange thing for him to have a nitpick on.

Wild Mass Guessing: The kaijus have an outrageous healing factor that requires a singular massive damaging strike to kill or injure them?


I haven't seen it yet, but a friend mentioned that the Kaiju's blood is EXTREMELY toxic, so killing just one with conventional weapons in the ocean is like creating a BP oil spill every time.  They developed the Jaegars to basically bludgeon them to death.
2013-07-12 12:54:52 PM  
1 votes:
i.imgur.com
2013-07-12 12:45:34 PM  
1 votes:

Cubicle Jockey: nitefallz: scottydoesntknow: A current drone, such as a Predator armed with Hellfire missiles, would make quick work of that dude.
But the fight scenes would be boring. And so we get Transformers-like things.
Meh.

A few hellfire missiles are going to take down a 300 foot, 2000 ton monster?


Considering that the trailers showed that conventional weaponry didn't seem to work, it's a strange thing for him to have a nitpick on.

Wild Mass Guessing: The kaijus have an outrageous healing factor that requires a singular massive damaging strike to kill or injure them?



Super-dense due to the giant size. For their bones/muscles to support that much weight, they're denser than anything else around, so conventional stuff doesn't work well (it does, but takes forever to whittle them down). Nukes work, but when the monster is in the middle of a densely populated/built-up area that people might want to return to some day, not the greatest of options.

/saw it last night, will see again
2013-07-12 12:43:24 PM  
1 votes:

LectertheChef: k4mi: [25.media.tumblr.com image 500x316]

Ok, so why does it have a giant dildo on its arm?


Robot on Keiju Porn
2013-07-12 12:33:31 PM  
1 votes:

PsyLord: Dafuq is this shiat?  Subby should be ashamed of submitting this and the mod should stop drinking... NOW.


I'm sorry, 'Vandersloot Assgiraffe' made me laugh loud enough for people to look at me. It was worth clicking on the page.
2013-07-12 12:21:22 PM  
1 votes:

IntertubeUser: scottydoesntknow: IntertubeUser: Why would what are essentially giant humans be the best weapon against monsters?  Without any weapons, humans are lousy fighters and, naturally, would end up as bear poop or tiger poop.  Why not fight the monsters with quadcopter drones armed with missiles, nets, or whatever else it takes to kill these things?

That's a pretty dumb thing to say considering a guy built a bear-proof suit which is essentially what these mechs are. No one's expecting a human to punch out Cthulhu, they are expecting a 500 foot tall, 2,500 ton behemoth made out of solid steel to be able to do that.

[assets.motherboard.tv image 584x329]

A current drone, such as a Predator armed with Hellfire missiles, would make quick work of that dude.

But the fight scenes would be boring.  And so we get Transformers-like things.

Meh.


A few hellfire missiles are going to take down a 300 foot, 2000 ton monster?
2013-07-12 12:18:03 PM  
1 votes:
s21.postimg.org

what happens after too much Jaeger
2013-07-12 12:16:19 PM  
1 votes:
Biff McHugeLarge

/mst3k did it
2013-07-12 12:16:09 PM  
1 votes:
news.bbcimg.co.uk
FRUMP McSCOWLNPOUT
2013-07-12 12:16:04 PM  
1 votes:
25.media.tumblr.com
2013-07-12 12:12:52 PM  
1 votes:
www.liveforfilms.com
THUNDERFIST NADSLAPPER
2013-07-12 12:11:54 PM  
1 votes:
I forsee some of those names being used as alts soon
2013-07-12 12:11:48 PM  
1 votes:

IntertubeUser: Why would what are essentially giant humans be the best weapon against monsters?  Without any weapons, humans are lousy fighters and, naturally, would end up as bear poop or tiger poop.  Why not fight the monsters with quadcopter drones armed with missiles, nets, or whatever else it takes to kill these things?


That's a pretty dumb thing to say considering a guy built a bear-proof suit which is essentially what these mechs are. No one's expecting a human to punch out Cthulhu, they are expecting a 500 foot tall, 2,500 ton behemoth made out of solid steel to be able to do that.

assets.motherboard.tv
2013-07-12 12:08:14 PM  
1 votes:
Isn't Diarrhea Touchdown and Benedict Cumberbatch the same mech?
2013-07-12 12:04:53 PM  
1 votes:
I saw the movie in IMAX last night and was really thrilled.  It's not Shakespeare but who would even think that?  What the fark are you expecting from this genre?

I expected giant mechs fighting giant monsters.  That's what I got in the best visual presentation of the genre in the history of film making and everyone in the theater farking loved it.  Of course the theater was full of nerds, too.

You have to see the movie to answer some of those obvious questions as to why big robots instead of whatever else, or nukes, etc.  Some of that information is online too.
2013-07-12 12:02:40 PM  
1 votes:

IntertubeUser: Why would what are essentially giant humans be the best weapon against monsters?  Without any weapons, humans are lousy fighters and, naturally, would end up as bear poop or tiger poop.  Why not fight the monsters with quadcopter drones armed with missiles, nets, or whatever else it takes to kill these things?



If you see the movie, this is explained.
2013-07-12 11:59:13 AM  
1 votes:
Why would what are essentially giant humans be the best weapon against monsters?  Without any weapons, humans are lousy fighters and, naturally, would end up as bear poop or tiger poop.  Why not fight the monsters with quadcopter drones armed with missiles, nets, or whatever else it takes to kill these things?
2013-07-12 11:52:57 AM  
1 votes:
Dafuq is this shiat?  Subby should be ashamed of submitting this and the mod should stop drinking... NOW.
 
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