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(Uproxx)   The giant robots of Pacific Rim get vastly improved names   (uproxx.com) divider line 157
    More: Amusing, giant robots, Warner Brothers, Straub  
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6773 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 12 Jul 2013 at 11:49 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



157 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-07-12 01:15:07 PM

k4mi: I don't understand why you can put countries on there?


Probably because in the movie it isn't a unified world government?

I mean, that's what makes sense to me...
 
2013-07-12 01:18:33 PM
Still missing:
Big McLargehuge
Roll Fizzlebeef
Bob Johnson
 
2013-07-12 01:18:56 PM
Evangelion unit 01?
2?

FARK YOU I WANT LIVE ACTION EVA NOW.
 
2013-07-12 01:21:49 PM

Jim from Saint Paul: Evangelion unit 01?
2?

FARK YOU I WANT LIVE ACTION EVA NOW.


WITHOUT SHINJI
 
2013-07-12 01:28:18 PM

Cubicle Jockey: nitefallz: scottydoesntknow: A current drone, such as a Predator armed with Hellfire missiles, would make quick work of that dude.
But the fight scenes would be boring. And so we get Transformers-like things.
Meh.

A few hellfire missiles are going to take down a 300 foot, 2000 ton monster?


Considering that the trailers showed that conventional weaponry didn't seem to work, it's a strange thing for him to have a nitpick on.

Wild Mass Guessing: The kaijus have an outrageous healing factor that requires a singular massive damaging strike to kill or injure them?


I haven't seen it yet, but a friend mentioned that the Kaiju's blood is EXTREMELY toxic, so killing just one with conventional weapons in the ocean is like creating a BP oil spill every time.  They developed the Jaegars to basically bludgeon them to death.
 
2013-07-12 01:30:32 PM

Sgt Otter: Cubicle Jockey: nitefallz: scottydoesntknow: A current drone, such as a Predator armed with Hellfire missiles, would make quick work of that dude.
But the fight scenes would be boring. And so we get Transformers-like things.
Meh.

A few hellfire missiles are going to take down a 300 foot, 2000 ton monster?


Considering that the trailers showed that conventional weaponry didn't seem to work, it's a strange thing for him to have a nitpick on.

Wild Mass Guessing: The kaijus have an outrageous healing factor that requires a singular massive damaging strike to kill or injure them?

I haven't seen it yet, but a friend mentioned that the Kaiju's blood is EXTREMELY toxic, so killing just one with conventional weapons in the ocean is like creating a BP oil spill every time.  They developed the Jaegars to basically bludgeon them to death.


"It's too dangerous to oceanic wildlife if we blow them up at sea. Better wait until they're in downtown Hong Kong where it's safer."
 
2013-07-12 01:34:28 PM
I lost it at Wrangler J. Christmastits. Something about a giant robot with a middle initial cracks me up.
 
2013-07-12 01:36:15 PM
I honestly didn't see the Benedict Cumberbatch one coming. That was genuinely funny. All the other hyperbolically-fake-and-ridiculous names were a set-up for that one actual name at the end.
 
2013-07-12 01:38:08 PM

k4mi:


That's Fister Roboto, pal! He's a learning robot.
 
2013-07-12 01:53:36 PM
These would be great dick nicknames and even better if some of you people demanded your ladies to call your junk that during sexy times.
 
2013-07-12 02:05:22 PM

LeroyBourne: These would be great dick nicknames and even better if some of you people demanded your ladies to call your junk that during sexy times.


I'm gonna have my lady call mine by the robot name I came up with earlier: Buttplug McNasty... It works perfectly, thanks for the idea...
 
2013-07-12 02:11:17 PM
Grointhumper Turdmagnet
 
2013-07-12 02:12:06 PM

Madison_Smiled: I lost it at Wrangler J. Christmastits. Something about a giant robot with a middle initial cracks me up.


I started losing at that point, but Benedict Cumberbatch made me laugh loud enough to attract the boss's attention.  Nicely done.
 
2013-07-12 02:13:19 PM
Big O it's showtime!
 
2013-07-12 02:14:41 PM
Had to stifle laughing out loud when I got to the punchline. Wrangler J. Christmastits also had me snickering silently.

Can't wait to see this tomorrow. Would probably be seeing it tonight, but GF agree to go see it with me as long as she could be in a sufficiently... altered state of mind since it's really not her thing.
 
2013-07-12 02:17:04 PM
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-07-12 02:17:51 PM
That was anti-funny
 
2013-07-12 02:19:26 PM

PsyLord: LectertheChef: k4mi: [25.media.tumblr.com image 500x316]

Ok, so why does it have a giant dildo on its arm?

Death by snu snu?


He has the giant round fist to spread 'em, then the turbo powered dildo to finish them off.
Not sure if they are trying to bludgeon the monsters, or pleasure them to death.
 
2013-07-12 02:20:12 PM

LeroyBourne: These would be great dick nicknames and even better if some of you people demanded your ladies to call your junk that during sexy times.


I agree.  Benedict Cumberbatch would be a fantastic name for your junk.
 
2013-07-12 02:29:54 PM
This really should have been on the main page.  This could have been epic!
 
2013-07-12 02:32:43 PM
What no mecha barbara streisand?
 
2013-07-12 02:34:38 PM
Dangly-bits Dilldozer
 
2013-07-12 02:39:30 PM
Bitemecrank Matey

/yarrr
 
2013-07-12 02:41:16 PM
imageshack.us
 
2013-07-12 02:42:08 PM

thecpt: Jim from Saint Paul: Evangelion unit 01?
2?

FARK YOU I WANT LIVE ACTION EVA NOW.

WITHOUT SHINJI


THEN WE WOULD CALL IT GUNDAM. AND GUNDAM SUCKS. *NO*
 
2013-07-12 02:42:18 PM
SuckitMcMahon   sponsered by D generation X
 
2013-07-12 03:01:41 PM
If we've been fighting Kaiju (sea dwelling giant monsters) for twenty years why do we still have coastal cities? Why not pack everyone's shiat, move to Kansas and bait the Kaiju onto large chunks of now-empty land to deal with them?

/in theory any large sea-dwelling creature will start to organ crush if on land too long!
 
2013-07-12 03:06:39 PM
Seeing it in two hours at a swank theater with booze.  Boss is treating. Hasn't even started and it's epic already.
 
2013-07-12 03:07:32 PM

Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: Sgt Otter: Cubicle Jockey: nitefallz: scottydoesntknow: A current drone, such as a Predator armed with Hellfire missiles, would make quick work of that dude.
But the fight scenes would be boring. And so we get Transformers-like things.
Meh.

A few hellfire missiles are going to take down a 300 foot, 2000 ton monster?


Considering that the trailers showed that conventional weaponry didn't seem to work, it's a strange thing for him to have a nitpick on.

Wild Mass Guessing: The kaijus have an outrageous healing factor that requires a singular massive damaging strike to kill or injure them?

I haven't seen it yet, but a friend mentioned that the Kaiju's blood is EXTREMELY toxic, so killing just one with conventional weapons in the ocean is like creating a BP oil spill every time.  They developed the Jaegars to basically bludgeon them to death.

"It's too dangerous to oceanic wildlife if we blow them up at sea. Better wait until they're in downtown Hong Kong where it's safer."

\

All of these "plot holes" are explained by "shut up, it's a movie in which giant robots are built to stop giant monsters from destroying Earth."

1) Why would giant robots be the best weapon against these monsters?
a) Because shut up, it's a movie in which giant robots are built to stop giant monsters from destroying Earth.

2) Why don't they just shoot them with nukes?
a) Because shut up, it's a movie in which giant robots are built to stop giant monsters from destroying Earth.

...etc.

It's a hilarious B-movie script shot with the finest in AAA Hollywood visuals by an accomplished director with both an immense passion for the genre and a finely tuned ability to translate fantasy action to the big screen. If you go in and don't take it any more seriously than del Toro did when he was making it, you'll probably have a really great time.

But really, I think you should go see it because shut up, it's a movie in which giant robots are built to stop giant monsters from destroying Earth.
 
2013-07-12 03:11:32 PM
peepton.com

i1.ytimg.com

25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-07-12 03:13:07 PM
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-07-12 03:17:30 PM
they would party with Wrangler J Christmastits...
www.collectiondx.com
/hot like a diarrhea touchdown
 
2013-07-12 03:32:20 PM

Ringshadow: If we've been fighting Kaiju (sea dwelling giant monsters) for twenty years why do we still have coastal cities? Why not pack everyone's shiat, move to Kansas and bait the Kaiju onto large chunks of now-empty land to deal with them?

/in theory any large sea-dwelling creature will start to organ crush if on land too long!


If hurricanes and tsunamis can't convince us not to live there, Kaiju haven't a chance.

/ "When I first came here, this was all swamp. Everyone said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built in all the same, just to show them. It sank into the swamp. So I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So I built a third. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp."
 
2013-07-12 03:44:54 PM

IExpectAKill: [peepton.com image 624x344]

[i1.ytimg.com image 850x478]

[25.media.tumblr.com image 649x399]


That first profile shot looks ALOT like Rob Schnider in blackface.
 
2013-07-12 03:50:23 PM

Jim from Saint Paul: thecpt: Jim from Saint Paul: Evangelion unit 01?
2?

FARK YOU I WANT LIVE ACTION EVA NOW.

WITHOUT SHINJI

THEN WE WOULD CALL IT GUNDAM. AND GUNDAM SUCKS. *NO*


i326.photobucket.com
/I'm just gonna pimp Gun X Sword while I'm here
 
2013-07-12 03:51:52 PM
encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
 
2013-07-12 04:07:51 PM
img191.imageshack.us
 
2013-07-12 04:15:55 PM
Just got back. Movie kicks all sorts of ass, sideways, upside down, etc. I've seen a lot of dumb action sci-fi junk over the years, but this looked the best. It's simply gorgeous, beautiful. Yeah, there's a definitive sag in the middle, when the humans have to do human stuff. It's not good, but it's not so terrible as to derail the greatest action beat downs in cinema. Also, it's just cheesy/campy enough to be endearing. I mean, it's a big time summer blockbuster, but that's still Jax from SAMCRO, walking around the Jaeger base w/ his pants in his hand, acting like he's about to grab his bike and go after Clay (who's also in this movie!) Also, there's a goofy plot contrivance to get Jax's robot fighting solo in Hong Kong that's got to be one of the dumbest, funniest, and most memorable lines in sci-fi history. It's like the ultimate hipster rallying cry, and it makes the movie better, BECAUSE it's so dumb. Also, the Russian pilots in their gear look totally bad-ass, that's going to be a very popular Halloween/cosplay get up for years to come.

A+. Its silly flaws somehow make it better. Simply the best visual effects I've ever seen. And Idris Elba got me pregnant, and I'm a dude.

/"It's the end of the world. You want to die here, or in a Jaeger?"
//table finishes their shots
 
2013-07-12 04:19:36 PM
Its my understanding from something i read a while back that the reason for giant robots instead of conventional weapons is that the Kaijus blood is extremely toxic and volatile, they blew up one of the first ones and turned, iirc, Tiujana or somewhere into a poisinous no mans land. Better to beat them to death and contain things. I think there was also some big cauterizing sword in one of the trailers?

Busy this weekend, and on vacation the next, but will definitly be seeing this ASAP.
 
2013-07-12 04:20:34 PM
Why are people arguing about the most realistic way to fight giant monsters in the ocean?
 
2013-07-12 04:22:50 PM
... So where's F*ckface von Clownstick?

/even now, I can't even *think* that name without laughing...
 
2013-07-12 04:43:42 PM
Cyno01:  the Kaijus blood is extremely toxic and volatile, they blew up one of the first ones and turned, iirc, Tiujana or somewhere into a poisinous no mans land.

So, an improvement then?

/Totally sneaking out of work to see this next week.
 
2013-07-12 04:45:17 PM

FunkOut: Why are people arguing about the most realistic way to fight giant monsters in the ocean?


Because the larger the mob, the lower the IQ.
 
2013-07-12 04:50:10 PM
I had CRANK MCLARGEHUGE all set to go and then Chrome crashed :(
 
2013-07-12 05:47:43 PM

Optimal_Illusion: they would party with Wrangler J Christmastits...
[www.collectiondx.com image 616x456]
/hot like a diarrhea touchdown




Shogun Warriors!

Hey, the shooty things are missing.

But I gotta give it up to Voltron. Mum-Ra, giant robots, and the best part Robeast!
galacticwatercooler.com
 
2013-07-12 06:17:42 PM
I have a general criticism for giant standing tanks or flip flopping spacecraft in sci-fi...

If you move a 100 foot arm (or moment arm) with the same angular speed as a human arm; you'll shred any material you could use to build it.

Unless you've got control over mass-inertia. Then you can write a blank cheque.
 
2013-07-12 06:21:45 PM

wildcardjack: I have a general criticism for giant standing tanks or flip flopping spacecraft in sci-fi...

If you move a 100 foot arm (or moment arm) with the same angular speed as a human arm; you'll shred any material you could use to build it.

Unless you've got control over mass-inertia. Then you can write a blank cheque.


In generalized terms, I find that a basic understanding of physics is what makes Japanese anime and mecha movies in general much better. Non-Japanese directors don't seem to understand that breaking all of the rules doesn't mean breaking all of the laws of physics.
 
2013-07-12 06:30:26 PM
Atomic Blumpkin
Freak Sadness
Boisenberry Slam
Clarence Murderbot
Zamfir Unleashed
Power Cloaca
Scud Buster Yambag
Vagina Future
 
2013-07-12 06:35:28 PM

Cubicle Jockey: nitefallz: scottydoesntknow: A current drone, such as a Predator armed with Hellfire missiles, would make quick work of that dude.
But the fight scenes would be boring. And so we get Transformers-like things.
Meh.

A few hellfire missiles are going to take down a 300 foot, 2000 ton monster?


Considering that the trailers showed that conventional weaponry didn't seem to work, it's a strange thing for him to have a nitpick on.

Wild Mass Guessing: The kaijus have an outrageous healing factor that requires a singular massive damaging strike to kill or injure them?


SPOILER ALERT!!!!

Just got back from seeing Pacific Rim. Early on in the movie, they talk about the first kaiju that shows up; 30 miles later, tens of thousands of people dead, they managed to kill it with missiles and tanks. The 2nd and 3rd monsters the same thing, they're finally killed but not after ravaging places like Seattle and Manila.

Fast forward to the current movie time, a few years after the monsters began appearing. Now they've got giant armored suits controlled by two humans, but rather than arming them with larger missiles and tank guns, which have been proven to kill the monsters, they basically beat them to death with their fists or use a short range "plasma cannon" that takes forever to warm up.

The monsters keep getting bigger, and better armed, and appear more and more often, faster than the humans can build the giant jaeger suits. Politicians decide to end the jaeger program and build a gigantic wall along the Pacific Coast (yeah they decide to do this), but the kaiju smash right through it. The final suit, a retired MkIII, is brought out of storage and upgraded with a pair of swords as well as a rapid fire plasma cannon (that still takes forever to warm up). The other jaeger suits, though, aren't armed with similar weaponry even though they are newer models. The swords are very effective as shown in the final battles, which makes me wonder why they weren't added to the other suits.
 
2013-07-12 06:35:30 PM

Mikey1969: PsyLord: Dafuq is this shiat?  Subby should be ashamed of submitting this and the mod should stop drinking... NOW.

I'm sorry, 'Vandersloot Assgiraffe' made me laugh loud enough for people to look at me. It was worth clicking on the page.


And now I finally have a name for my Aruban Steel Drums tribute band!
 
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